A/n: REVISED. I hope you like it and I apologize for any grammatical errors.

~Chapter 10~

Inuyasha sat on Rin's balcony, legs hanging off the edge as he looked down at the water below. It was raining and for a minute, he allowed himself a frivolous fantasy. He lost himself to the thought that the rain was all that was needed to wash away all the bad shit. As he raised his face to meet the steady fall of the raindrops, he was torn from his fantasy as he realized that he felt no different. He wished this world was nothing more than a nightmare, but he knew better than anyone that wishes were useless things. He gritted his teeth, sharp fangs piercing his bottom lip as the warmth of his tears mixed with the cold rain.

His tears were a mixture of his own misery and his fear for his best friend that had yet to wake. Kagome's return had revealed to the world his vulnerability and sadly, how much more he cared for Kagome than for Kikyo. His love for the younger miko had been one of the many reasons for why he had chosen Kikyo as a mate. He knew he was a bastard for what he had done, but even now he would not take it back. He could never condemn Kagome to the pain of his half-life—even before the Darkness he had nothing to offer her except the promise of ridicule and hatred. He loved her far too much to do that to her.

He had chosen Kikyo because she understood fully what it meant to be his mate. She had accepted him out of spite and because she herself was an abomination—the dead were meant to remain dead, but even with her cold body and unbeating heart Kikyo had craved a future. She wanted to be loved and though it was with a half heart, he was the only one who was willing to love her as she was. So, it was with that thought process that he took Kikyo as his mate despite loving another more. He sometimes thought the loss of Kagome would destroy him before the Darkness could because he knew; he knew that Kagome would have accepted everything that came with being his mate. She had loved him enough to bear the weight of being with a creature such as he, but Inuyasha would rather burn in hell for eternity that to see Kagome's light fade away. His mother had barely endured the hatred and prejudice and he refused to let Kagome become a victim to the ugliness of the world—he wanted the world to always see her as he did. As something untouchable—innocent and perfect.

When the time came to let her go, he had instead chosen to bask in the warmth and love she so freely gave. It was cruel and selfish, and in the end, it was he who had snuffed out her light. There was no one in the world who could possibly hate him more than he hated himself for his betrayal. He had thought that he had known every kind of pain, but seeing the death of Kagome's childlike innocence was unlike anything he had ever felt before. It felt like a hot fire poker branding his heart and soul as a monster—he had sworn to protect her from everything that would dare harm her and yet it was him who had dealt the most damaging blow.

Now, she was no longer his to protect. She was hurt and he could do nothing more than sit out in the rain and cry, because he didn't deserve to sit at her bedside. She no longer needed him and even if he wished to protect her, he would have to go through the Daiyoukai who guarded her.

His half-brother had become rather protective, if not a bit possessive of the miko. It was a common trait amongst Inuyoukai to act such a way towards what they might consider theirs and it seemed that through her actions, Kagome had found a place amongst Sesshomaru's pack. If that wasn't painful enough, the fact that he knew his older brother had every intention of claiming the miko made jealousy run quick through his veins.

Inuyasha sniffed and caught the scent of his mate; opening his eyes he found her standing beside him with pain and understanding in her brown eyes. She knew his true feelings, he had never kept them secret from her. When he had mated with her, their relationship had been about her happiness only—it was excepted really, Kikyo was quite selfish back then. Now though, the love he had for Kagome did not anger her as it had before, rather it hurt her. He would prefer his mate's anger if only to lessen his guilt—another selfish want. He knew Kikyo could never be Kagome, but at the end of the day the older miko was his. He was an honor less thing, but he would die to protect his mate. He would love her as much as his heart was able and he could only hope that it would prove to be enough.

~oOo~

The slayer and the monk sat in the far corner of the room, watching as two different scenes unfolded before them. Sango stroked the arm that was curled around her waist, her back resting against Miroku's chest as she stared at the hanyou who sat so pathetically out in the rain.

She sneered when Inuyasha pulled his mate down beside him, the guilt she could see written on his face as he held Kikyo close was well deserved. She knew the truth of Inuyasha's feelings and felt no pity for him—Karma had proven itself all too real and Sango found it quite fitting that the once dead priestess long for the love of one who loved another. She could say with ease that she had wished Kikyo dead more times than she could count; she knew the name for what she felt for the reanimated miko and it was called hatred. She wondered then if she hated Kikyo, what word could describe what she felt for the hanyou? She didn't think such a word existed and when she remembered the pain on his face as he brought them Kikyo in place of Kagome, she despised him all the more for it. She looked at him and all she could see was a manipulator; a greedy creature who cared only for himself.

There were days when all she knew was anger and it was only on the days that she knew sorrow that she found a reprieve. When her heart didn't beat with hate for Kikyo and Inuyasha, it wept in sadness over the loss of Kagome and her brother. The only anchor she had in her sea of pain was holding her tight, his chin resting on her shoulder as he gazed at her with a gentleness reserved only for her.

Miroku's eyes traced the lines of Sango's face, taking in her hardened beauty and loving her more for all the tragedy in her life. When he rubbed his chin softly on her shoulder she smiled a rare smile and he felt a tiny glimmer of something he had buried more than a year ago—hope. He used to pray, but as his faith died so did his hope. He remembered his father telling him once that to survive one must have faith, but his father had not seen the things that he had. How could he hold onto faith? How could he be a religious man when the rivers ran red with blood?

All that he thought he lost was found when an innocent miko stood against the will of the Darkness and pushed it back, her strength of will in the end more powerful than that of evil. He hadn't the faith in Kagome, but when she saved Rin, on her shoulders he had placed all his hope. He had burdened her and so would the others, but he realized that though the goodness inside of her would make her a target, it also made her a weapon. He gave his demon slayer a small, but lingering kiss on the corner of her mouth before turning his gaze to the only other woman he would ever die for.

The Western lord had taken up residence beside Kagome, taking her gently in his arms and growling at all who came near. Miroku believed that in saving Rin, Kagome had sealed her fate. It was a bit worrying to both he and Sango, because it was obvious that the Daiyoukai intended to claim the little miko as his mate. The union would make for a powerful couple, but Kagome might not be very susceptive to Sesshomaru's advances.

Miroku was not a masochistic man and threatening Sesshomaru was never a good idea, but Kagome was important to him. He wouldn't let another hurt her, but as he watched Sesshomaru rub his cheek almost reverently against the miko's, he thought perhaps his worries were for naught. Sesshomaru had always, even at his worse, been a youkai of honor.

~oOo~

In his silence, Shippo had grown quite adept at watching the others around him. He watched the half breed play pretend with his mate. He watched the demon slayer and the monk judge one relationship and consider the power of the other. He watched as the Daiyoukai protected the woman he intended to claim. He watched until he realized that he was being watched as well, and he wondered if those lavender eyes could see into his mind.

"I can."

He growled at the invasion; the absolute disregard for his privacy.

"I never intended to disrespect you Shippo, only to understand you. Your mother fears for you and so do I—because you are still my friend."

Shippo's mind was not easily penetrated, his struggle with the instincts of his inner youkai made it so—it was an unwelcome shock that the girl was able to see what he wanted to keep hidden. He hadn't the control to keep from baring his fangs at the little demon—Rin posed a new danger to him and to the secret he kept. He wondered how long the demon had been poking around in his head.

"You are going to hurt her and I won't let that happen. If I have to save her from you, I will."

He rose to his feet, the accusation that he would ever hurt the one he loved above all others rankled at his temper. He may be small, but he was dangerous and the demon girl was playing with his anger quite carelessly. He made one move towards her before a disturbing scene bled into his vision—he saw himself in his youkai form, his bloody jaw clenched tight around the body of a small human girl. It made the Kitsune take a step back and wonder what it was he had just seen.

"It is one of Kagome's fears and what she saw in that dark place we were in. It is not a premonition, but it certainly is a possibility. That small girl you saw could easily end up being Kagome if you don't let someone help you."

Her words stilled him and for a terrible second, he imagined it was Kagome's blood that coated his lips and chin. The thought that one day he would lose complete control and hurt his Kagome made his heart lurch. If his heart wasn't full of such bitterness towards the woman who he considered his mother, he would have no fear—but she had left him.

She had never made promises to him, but she had loved him. She had given her love so freely and unconditionally that it shocked him still, but in a single day she took it all away. She just left, she let the hanyou run her off and she didn't even bother looking at what she was leaving behind. It hurt—he had a constant ache in his chest, much worse than when his father was taken from him. The fear was constant; he was afraid that she would leave again.

"She won't leave you—she loves you. The evil in the dark knew how important you are to her and it used you against her. She may have left, but she came back Shippo…give her the benefit of the doubt."

Rin had given him much to think about—but she still needed to learn about boundaries.

~oOo~

Sesshomaru's eyes lingered on the fading bruises on Kagome's body and he almost felt unworthy of her. In a day, she had done what he had spent nearly three weeks trying to do and he couldn't help being in awe of her. His attention was drawn to her flickering eyelids when she whimpered and Sesshomaru pulled her closer. He wanted to comfort her as she struggled with her nightmares, but what he wished to do was usually done in private. When her body trembled his decision was made, he didn't care if all of the west stood above them watching. He pressed his cheek to hers and nuzzled her, letting out a growl so soft it nearly resembled a purr.

It was how one would comfort their mate and as she returned his caress, he hummed his contentment. She responded perfectly to him even in her sleep; for every one of his caresses she returned it with a nudge of her own. He was pleased by her acceptance of him and he wondered how she would handle what he had known for a long time—that she was meant to be his mate.

~oOo~

Koga cursed his perfect timing; he had walked in just as the hanyou came in from the balcony, soaking the floor beneath his bare feet as he glared at Sesshomaru with jealousy in his eyes. It was awkward to see how much Inuyasha coveted Kagome and if Koga recognized the hanyou's envy, then he knew Kikyo did as well.

He was proven right when the older miko's eyes filled with tears, the sadness and acceptance that shown as she looked at her oblivious mate rubbing him the wrong way. He let out an angry growl in Inuyasha's direction and whispered low, but loud enough for the hanyou to hear, "Do realize that as you long for another, your mate is standing beside you with tears in her eyes? Have some common fucking decency, for Kami's sake."

When Inuyasha's eyes lowered to the floor in shame, Koga just shook his head. He knew how easy it was to love Kagome, but even Koga knew when to let go. A part of him would always care for Kagome, but Ayame was his entire world. His princess reminded him every time she looked his way that he still had something to fight for and he intended to spend the rest of his life loving her. The hanyou should realize that not many were so lucky to be loved in their hellish new world—he should cherish his mate.

He turned away from the ungrateful half-breed and grinned at the couple nuzzling each other on the bed. He wasn't very surprised that Sesshomaru had fallen for the little miko, he only wondered why it took so damn long in the first place. He cleared his throat and waited for Inu to stop harassing his friend before updating him.

"The survivors created as system that's working for them, but it's getting crowded. It won't be long before they start running low on supplies…I give it a month. If their careful, maybe a month and a half."

Sesshomaru nodded, "Inform the refugees to limit themselves until we are able to find a way to safely restock."

Koga coughed to cover up his chuckle when the Great Demon Lord continued to nuzzle Kagome—Inuyoukai were physical beings, but it was unheard of for them to be so affectionate in front of others. As if reading his mind Sesshomaru whispered, "It helps her with her nightmares."

He knew then, that Kagome would be okay.

A/n: What did you think? Reviews are treasured.

~Inari