"The entire graduating class for this year WHAT?!" Danzo yelled as he listened to the report his operative had given him.
"I don't think even half of the senseis had planned on passing them, but with the distraction..." the thirteen year-old ROOT operative he'd sent out to scoop up any likely looking candidates who'd been failed because of failures on their teammates' parts said, rather severely understating the chaos and devastation the Uzumaki had caused completely by accident.
"What about the 'distraction'?" Danzo asked, wondering if that feeling creeping about in the corners of his mind was a newly developing Narutophobia which was now being listed as an actual disorder. The first support group meeting was scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.
"Well, all of the Jounin senseis went to the Hokage and reported their teams as being alive without reporting any failures on the parts of said teams." the ROOT operative replied. "This was considered to be a pass, and all teams were registered as having done so."
Despite the fact that he'd thought he'd trained such blatant displays of emotion out of himself, Danzo buried his face in his unbandaged hand and groaned. The only good thing that could be said about today was that there had been rather few casualties considering...
Two of Konoha's spies in Iwa who were posing as a married civilian couple made their way back to their shared apartment with a hot off the presses Bingo Book. Once indoors, they had activated their special privacy seals that would give outside observers the impression that they were talking about their days as they prepared dinner together and impatiently flipped the book open to see what had required today's revision. Something had sent the village's higher-ups scurrying, and the end result had been a brand new Bingo Book which had been published three weeks ahead of schedule.
Eventually, the two reached the added page and found themselves looking down at a sketch of Uzumaki Naruto who'd been labeled as being S-Ranked next to which there was the second Flee-on-Sight order in shinobi history. Well, at least since the Shinobi villages had been founded. Before then, Flee-on-Sight orders had been a great deal more informal and had gone something along the lines of "If you get anywhere near that bloke in battle, run as if your ass was on fire." as a certain ninja or two was pointed out just before the fighting started.
"I wonder what prompted that." Kuno said as he noted the "No Bounty" listed in the column that usually listed how much a particular shinobi's head was worth. That usually happened when a shinobi was considered too dangerous to even approach, much less kill for the money. The last "No Bounty" had been the Yondaime Hokage who had been deemed an "Impossible kill" by several shinobi villages. The fact that the Yondaime had been taken down by the Kyuubi had furthered this reputation, seeing as it had taken the supposedly unsealable King of Biju itself to kill him, and he'd reputedly killed it in the process. A story which many shinobi outside of Konoha actually believed.
"I don't want to know." Kodachi replied to her "spouse"'s musing. "It's just a damn good thing he's on our side."
"Is he?" Kuno asked. "Considering the fact that we've been treating him like shit for years..."
Kodachi swallowed as the implications hit. Was that sunny prank-pulling boy who'd been thrown out of shops and treated like an outsider by the entire village really on their side? What reason would he have to be so? If she'd been treated like that by the village...
"Y-You don't think he destroyed Konoha do you?" Kodachi asked.
"I honestly don't know, but I'm going to find out." Kuno replied, hoping to the gods above that that wasn't what had happened to earn the Uzumaki his S ranking and a Flee-on-Sight order as a result of the treatment he'd received from the villagers since his birth. The ill treatment that he and Kodachi had participated in before they had been sent to Iwa on a long-term spying mission.
Tobirama sighed as he resigned himself to the fact that the Uzumaki boy whose side he'd been summoned to would be sleeping on his lap. He didn't quite know how he'd gotten there, but every time he tried to remove the boy with whom he was sharing a cell, the boy sleep-crawled back onto his lap. All attempts at waking the boy up had resulted in a sleepy "Five more minutes Madara" before the boy was back in the arms of Morpheus. He honestly didn't know how to deal with this, because children had been more Hashirama's thing. Children, especially children who'd been born after the founding of the village and therefore not been forced to grow up quickly as he had, were strange creatures. He tended to prefer dealing with them after they grew up and he could actually relate to them.
His only consolation at the moment was that neither Hashirama nor Madara could see him now. They'd never let him hear the end of it, and for similar reasons. There were times when he could almost understand how his brother and the Damned Uchiha had become friends.
In a forest in the middle of nowhere, Zabuza, Haku and the Demon Brothers Gozu and Mezu were gathered around a radio that was tuned to a pirate radio station that was run by Missing-nin for Missing-nin. Tonight's news program had been the most interesting in a good long while. Apparently, a newly graduated Genin had blown up several square miles of forest and left behind a massive crater which was turning into a lake. Iwa had issued a Flee-on-Sight order for the boy as a result of said action that afternoon.
"...Here with us in our er, studio is our local expert on the Uzumaki, Hyuuga Watari formerly of Konoha." the news announcer said, introducing that night's expert analyst. Considering the mixed bag that Missing-nin tended to be, ranging from political dissidents to outright nutjobs, the interview with the "Expert analyst" on that night's biggest news story was generally very interesting.
Someone who wasn't the announcer gave an unsettling giggle. "...And, they called me mad." the man who was presumably Hyuuga Watari said. "I told them. I told them. Uzumaki Naruto is the living avatar of Inari and their treatment of him would only bring his divine wrath down upon the village. The rice crops came in smaller than usual and the sake turned sour, and still they wouldn't listen. I tried to show him the proper respect, and they drove me from his side. I tried to return to his side, and they drove me from the village. One day, Konoha shall fall for their lack of respect, and I shall be there to dance amongst its ruins."
The Hyuuga's speech was punctuated by some rather disturbing maniacal laughter which made Orochimaru look like a rank amateur in the art.
"Er, thank you for that informative...Uh, you may go now." the announcer said. "And, in other news, the bounty on Momochi Zabuza has risen by another ten-thousand ryo which the perpetually cash strapped Kirigakure insists it's good for."
"I'm glad I'll never meet him." Zabuza said as he switched the news program off and moved towards his bedroll.
"Who? The Uzumaki or the crazy Hyuuga?" Gozu asked.
"Both." Zabuza replied as he flopped down on his bedroll while Haku poked at the fire and Gozu and Mezu worked on repairing their weapons.
Izumo and Kotetsu sighed as they made their way into the emergency shelters behind the Hokage monument. They'd been sent here several times over the last week, usually as part of the party of ninja who'd been sent to roust the crazies who'd taken shelter here due to Madara's return from the dead. They'd been sent alone this time.
"Back to chase us out again?" one of the older shelter squatters who looked to be about as old as the village asked.
"Actually no," Izumo said as he pulled out the scroll he and Kotetsu had been given. "I've been given a decree by the Hokage."
This caused several heads to perk up and soon the pair of career Chunin were surrounded by a small crowd. Kotetsu opened the scroll which had been handed to him by Izumo and began to read.
"It has been decreed that due to the rebuilding process ninja cannot be spared to clear out the emergency shelters. All current inhabitants of said shelters may remain in place for no more than six months, at which point they must vacate said shelters unless an actual emergency has been declared. In the event of an actual emergency, all makeshift encampments must be cleared away in order to make room for Konoha's other citizens. Signed, Sarutobi Hiruzen Third Hokage of Konoha, etc."
Madara scowled as he sat alone in his cell finding the silence unsettling after a week of constant noise. He couldn't possibly be missing that Uzumaki brat already. That Uzumaki brat who reminded him of a brain-dead Hashirama. That Uzumaki brat with that naggingly familiar face. That Uzumaki brat who...
It hit him with the force of a speeding dump truck.
That Uzumaki brat who looked very much like a blond-haired, blue-eyed Uchiha Obito. Except for the chin and the lack of scarring, the resemblance really was uncanny. The eye shape, the general face shape, the annoying loudness...
Great. He'd traded one highly annoying brat who would barely listen to him for another.