Her chest tightened and tears sprang painfully to her eyes. "What?" She croaked out hoarsely.
"It's your daughter Ma'am." Taylor repeated and Jenny sighed and put her head in her hand trying to calm her nerves.
"I got that! What happened?!" She exclaimed lifting her head angrily and forming her hand into a claw. Jenny thought Taylor sounded rather scared as she got up from her desk and grabbed her purse then started walking out of the office through Cynthia's protests.
"Well she locked herself in a closet." The young woman said sheepishly.
"She what?! Is she okay?! How long has she been in there?!" She practically yelled walking or more like running down the stairs, getting the attention of almost everyone in the squad room including the MCRT.
"Twenty minutes. She went to the bathroom and we didn't notice she was gone until a few minutes ago. She's calling for you but she won't tell us why. We didn't know what to do so I called you." She said frantically. Jenny jogged across the bull pen reaching the elevator and slammed her hand on the button trying to calm down.
"I'll be there in ten minutes. Until then can you try and get her out of the closet?" She asked desperately and noted how other people would hear that and take it the wrong way. She noted how particularly Tony would take it the wrong way but ignored his crude comments. Her baby was… she didn't even know how to describe it but she was having some sort of melt down. And Jenny would be there to help her through it. She hung up without waiting for a reply and the elevator doors closed around her letting the team get one last fleeting glace of their panic stricken Director. Tony snickered.
"Try to get her out of the closet." He repeated funnily. The team had disgusted looks on their faces, directed at Tony. Gibbs said nothing just got out of his seat, walked over to Tony and gave him the mother of all headslaps. He winced in a shrill voice. "Sorry boss I didn't mean anything by it." He said looking down.
"Did you not see the look the Director had on her face? How dare you make fun of her?" Ziva exclaimed angrily.
"She sounded pretty upset." McGee chimed in.
"Worried." Ziva supplied.
"Frantic." Tony added quietly.
Meanwhile Jenny was driving like a maniac to the daycare center where she had dropped her child off at that morning. The only thoughts going through her head were: What is happening with my child and why didn't they notice she was gone? She was a mix of emotions between anger at the staff, fear for her daughter and confusion as to why she would act this way. Her car was parked in the parking lot seven minutes later. Usually it would have been a fifteen minute drive from NCIS to daycare. But she wasn't in the mood to have a leisurely drive. She stormed into the cozy looking one story building with a playground in the back. Her heels clicking furiously on the ground and she had forgotten about her purse and phone in her car. The receptionist was waiting for her and led her to the room she had first entered that morning, it was empty now, then to a closet in the corner where the head woman, Carol, she recalled her name was talking through the door to a screaming six year old. As she approached she also head Lauren's muffled sobs through the door. It was a little scary to see her daughter like this. Lauren had never ever acted out like this. She was always the good child that would do as she was told. Now she was bordering on hysteria. Carol turned upon hearing Jenny's heels clicking and walked up to her with a relieved look on her face. "Thank goodness Miss Shepard. She keeps screaming for you. I don't know what to do she won't calm down." Carol said and Jenny could feel her mask and practiced control slipping away. She was disheartened to hear her voice shake as she spoke.
"I'll handle it." She said weakly and walked up to the door where the screams were emanating. Jenny knelt down next to the door and knocked on it lightly. The screaming stopped for a moment though she could still hear Lauren's heart wrenching sobs through the door.
"Go away!" She screamed through sobs. Jenny choked on her words.
"Lauren honey its mommy." She said softly yet loud enough for her to hear. The screams ceased though the crying continued.
"Mommy?" Lauren asked her breath catching. Jenny was reduced to tears then, silent ones of course. She had to be strong for Lauren but still tears none the less.
"Yeah sweetheart it's me. Why don't you come out and talk to me?" Jenny suggested her breath catching slightly too. This was highly unusual for Jenny. Crying again? What had gotten into her? Her daughter must be bringing out her soft side.
"I can't open the door." She admitted shamefully and Jenny was horrified. Lauren was really locked in a closet. She turned to the two employees standing by close behind. She must look horrible with makeup running down her face and her nose red.
"Where's the key?" She asked as calmly as she could.
"We don't know. It was missing when we tried to get her out earlier." Carol said quietly and Jenny turned back to her daughter.
"Darling do you have the key?" She asked softly hoping to God the answer was yes.
"Yeah." Jenny sighed a breath of relief.
"Can you slide it under the door so I can get you out of there?" No response just the noise of a small metal key sliding under the door with a small hand. But it quickly retreated. "Thank you Lauren. I'm going to open the door now." She said and stood up unlocking the door, it swung open and Lauren sat on the floor with tears and snot streaming down her face. Her face was red and blotchy and she looked exhausted. Jenny collapsed on the floor in a wave of happiness and engulfed her daughter in a hug. Lauren hugged back and cried in Jenny's shoulder. Jenny cried too cupping Lauren's messy hair in her hand and holding her head firmly close. As if, if she didn't then she would lose her. Jenny was kneeling but when she engulfed her daughter she sat back on her heels and Lauren sat herself down on Jenny's lap. They hugged and neither wanted to let go ever. Jenny could feel Lauren's tears penetrate her expensive suit and onto her shoulder but she didn't care. Lauren's small frame was wracked with sobs while Jenny had calmed down, mascara laden tears still running down her cheeks silently. Jenny just rubbed Lauren's back soothingly until she calmed down shushing her and rocking slowly from side to side. Jenny was comforted by Lauren's steady heartbeat against her own but was not calmed by Lauren's failure to cease her crying. Never the less Jenny sat patiently on the ground waiting for her daughter to stop crying. Eventually she did though Jenny's left shoulder was soaked with tears. Lauren wouldn't stop hugging her though and eventually Jenny had to pry her away gently. Thankfully she didn't argue.
"Mommy, why are you crying?" Lauren asked softly. Jenny gave her a watery smile and pushed a stray hair on Lauren's face away.
"Because honey you scared me. Don't do that again!" She scolded softly and neither Lauren nor Jenny herself believed the desperate tone to be an actual threat. Lauren didn't answer. "Why did you lock yourself in a closet?" Jenny asked searching Lauren's eyes for something, anything, a clue to why she did it.
"I missed you." Lauren said sincerely. Jenny knew she was sincere but also knew there was more to the story then Lauren was letting on. Call it mother's intuition but Jenny knew Lauren was hiding something. Either that or she really did not know how to express her emotions. Jenny figured a little of both. Lauren wiped Jenny's cheeks free of the black streaks running down her cheeks and Jenny closed her eyes briefly.
"Why don't we leave for the day?" Jenny suggested softly with no hint of playfulness in her tone and Lauren knew it. Lauren figured her mom was disappointed in her and it dulled her spirits when in reality Jenny wasn't disappointed at all. She was scared at what her daughter had just shown her and she was determined to get to the bottom of it. But Lauren didn't know that. Lauren nodded and they got up. "I'm signing Lauren out." Jenny said to the two women and walked out the door holding Lauren's hand. She couldn't decide if she was furious at the employees for not noticing Lauren was gone, or scared to death that something was wrong with her daughter. After they got situated in the car Jenny wiped her remaining make up off in the mirror. Lauren worked up the courage to speak.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked almost too quietly for Jenny to hear. Jenny turned around abruptly.
"No darling I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you. I was just scared. I didn't know what was happening. Are you sure that's the only reason you locked yourself in a closet, you missed me?" Jenny asked looking at her daughter. Lauren just shrugged her shoulders and looked down. She was definitely hiding something.
"Where are we going now?" Lauren asked after a moment of silence. Jenny hadn't thought about that when she abandoned the daycare in her wave of very justified anger.
"My work I guess. It's the middle of the day and I still have things to do." She said sighing and running her fingers through her hair. That's when she noticed Lauren's disheveled state. Her hair was half out of its braid and her dress was wrinkled and one strap was off her shoulder. Lauren nodded shyly.
"NCIS." She said remembering and Jenny was impressed she recalled that. NCIS, the place she absolutely dreaded right now. For the team to see her daughter like this after her melt down and after Jenny had ran frantically out of the building was less than ideal but she didn't have any other choice. Starting the car she headed for NCIS. To break the silence between them she turned on the radio to one of her favorite songs: Oh! Darling, by the Beatles. So ironic right now she snorted and was about to change the station but decided against it. Maybe she could instill some good taste in music to her daughter. She looked in the rear view mirror to explain to Lauren what a good band the Beatles were she laughed softly. Lauren was asleep in her booster seat, head tilted to the side and jostling with every bump. Her mouth hung open innocently and she looked at peace. Unlike the state she was in just ten minutes ago. Her face was still a little blotchy and her eyes were still rimmed red but at least she wasn't screaming. She sighed and turned her eyes back to the road. Jenny knew that after meltdowns like those kids were exhausted and drained. She didn't blame her for falling asleep. Jenny was drained after a good fight too. Six year olds had a good way of handling it though. They fell asleep and left the angry world behind to a world of happy dreams. Jenny on the other hand and every other adult in the world sucked it up, avoided the person, stayed bitter for the day (or week), and drank coffee. Which only provided temporary energy but then you crashed again feeling the full effects of drowsiness. Then you go get another cup of steaming black coffee and the cycle continues. Kids had it easy.
Five minutes later she parked in the NCIS parking lot and turned off the car with a sigh. She had escaped her driver once again today though her protection detail would not be happy. They were supposed to be with her when she left the building at all times during work hours. She decided not to think about that though but think about how she would deal with her daughter and getting the truth. Maybe she could consult Ducky? Before pursuing that or leaving her car she had to apply new makeup. She applied a coat of mascara, eyeliner and red lipstick her signature. It wasn't a lot but then again, her normal makeup routine had gone out the window when Lauren arrived. She didn't have time to deal with makeup while also having to deal with Lauren in the morning. She got out of her car and decided not to wake Lauren; she needed the sleep and carried her out, locking the car behind her and walking through the front doors eliciting stares from security. She paid no mind to them and continued to the elevator. This was the moment of truth. Her secret would be exposed to everybody and reluctantly security measures would increase. With a vulnerable child and easy hostage there would be no chances taken. But she was more concerned with dealing with the team and their questions. She absolutely dreaded facing Gibbs and her regrets and memories all over again for real but it had to be done. Jenny didn't think she could look Gibbs in the eye let alone talk to him now with her daughter there and him might or might not being the father. But she had no choice so with a shaky hand she pressed the floor of the bull pen still carrying her daughter. Lauren was still asleep and her head was resting comfortably on Jenny's shoulder. Her arms were draped loosely over Jenny's shoulders. She was dead weight so she was a little harder to carry but Jenny managed. Her heart was beating a thousand miles per hour and she hoped the team was out at a crime scene. But Jenny didn't have that kind of luck and the doors slid open to reveal the team working on paperwork in the bull pen. She walked in, they saw the little red head she was holding and their mouths fell open.