A/N: Happy weekend one and all! It's park time.
The reception area was empty aside from another staff member who was sat behind the desk when Regina and Henry emerged from the back area of the shelter. Glancing at her watch, Regina saw that it was five minutes before eleven. Eager. Henry was sulking beside her, having discovered that his mother had failed to pack his soccer ball. Regina apologised for the oversight, her son's recreational activities not being at the forefront of her mind when she had been packing to leave the family home.
"Hi," the woman behind the desk smiled as she saw mother and son. "I'm Mulan."
"Regina," she replied. "And this is Henry."
"Are you guys going to the park with Emma today?" Mulan asked, her boss having told her of the plans, as it meant she was alone at the centre for most of the day. Regina nodded. "Well, just take a seat. Emma will be finished up in a few minutes."
"Can we buy a new ball?" Henry asked as he plonked himself down alongside his mother.
"Maybe," Regina conceded.
"Will you play with me?"
"Maybe." In truth, she didn't feel much like kicking a ball back and forth but knew she should. Roland and his mother, Marian, had opted out of the trip as the woman had a friend visiting that afternoon. Unless other children joined, it would be up to Regina to ensure Henry was entertained. She didn't resent that one bit but, in truth, she needed a little space. And after seeing that jacket, she knew there was a conversation she and Emma needed to have.
"Dad always played with me," Henry pouted, folding his arms.
The statement was like a punch in the gut. Not only because of their current situation but because it wasn't true. Leo had never been a hands-on dad. He was rarely home from work during the hours Henry was awake on school days and at the weekend the boy struggled to get his attention for more than a few minutes. She wasn't sure how the boy had formulated this inaccurate picture of his father but she sincerely hoped he realised he was disillusioned.
Before she could say anything, another woman emerged from the back of the shelter with three girls, all of whom appeared to be under the age of ten with bright blonde hair, just like their mother. Two of them were fighting over a toy and the third, the youngest, had her arm wrapped around her mother's leg, making walking cumbersome.
"Just sit down and sort it out yourselves," the woman said, sounding exhausted.
Still bickering, the older girls did as they were told, the contentious toy clutched in four small hands. Henry watched with intrigue as they argued about who was the rightful owner of the item.
"Hi," Regina offered as the woman sat down nearby, the youngest daughter immediately climbing into her lap.
"Hey," the woman replied, a weak smile on her lips.
"I'm Regina and this is Henry."
"Kathryn," the woman replied. "This is Emily and those two are Rose and Amy." She pointed at the girls who were now engaged in a full-on tug of war. Regina wondered why the woman didn't step in and deal with the disagreement herself.
"Are you going to the park too?"
"Yep," Kathryn nodded. "I'm actually meeting my father there. He wanted to see the girls and it's easier than coming up here from Brooklyn."
"You're from New York?"
Kathryn nodded. "Yeah, born and raised in Brooklyn. You?"
"Maine," Regina replied.
"How did you end up down here?" Kathryn asked.
Regina shrugged. "Seemed like the best place to disappear."
The women fell silent. The unspoken truth that they were both in the shelter, with their children to escape a dangerous or unwanted home situation weighed upon their shoulders. But before anything more could be said, Emma emerged from the office behind the desk.
"Hey," she smiled. "Just you two?"
"Looks like it," Kathryn nodded. "I think most people had plans. But I've got to meet Dad somewhere and it saves him slogging all the way up to The Bronx, so I've told him we'll meet in the park. Is that ok?" she added, suddenly wondering if she needed to ask permission to invite a man to participate in a day out from the women's shelter.
"Fine by me," Emma replied who had met Kathryn's father once before, a few days after she and her daughters arrived at the shelter. "Regina?"
"Yes, of course," she said at once. It wasn't men in general whom she was avoiding. While she understood the policy which Swan's Shelter enforced, the idea of interacting with men didn't fill her with dread. It was only her husband whom she prayed she never had to see again.
Emma grinned and turned to Mulan to fill her in on what needed to be done at the centre in her absence. At that point, Rose began to cry, the toy finally being tugged from her fingers by Amy, the oldest. Kathryn sighed and got to her feet, Emily perched on her hip. She separated Rose and Amy by standing between them and removing the disputed toy from Amy's victorious hands and placed it in her bulging handbag.
"Right, are we all ready?" Emma asked, circling the desk.
"Yep." Regina got to her feet, Henry sliding off the chair beside her.
"Emma, will you play soccer with me?" Henry piped up, suddenly remembering the conversation which had been interrupted by the arrival of Kathryn and her family.
"Sure," Emma nodded. "Do you have a ball?"
"No," Henry huffed. "Mom forgot it." The last three words were said in a surprisingly harsh, accusatory tone.
"We've got one here," Emma assured, wanting to diffuse any situation which may be bubbling below the surface of the six-year-old. "Do you want to go and get it?"
Henry nodded enthusiastically and listened with intent as Emma described where in the communal area he would locate the soccer ball. Nodding his understanding, he raced off, pausing to wait for Emma to enter the code to the rear of the shelter and then disappeared.
"Thank you," Regina said, relieved that her son's mood hadn't soured the day.
"No problem," Emma replied. "Priorities, right?"
Regina nodded. "Something like that."
"Have you two met before?" Emma asked, remembering that Regina had only been in the centre for a couple of days and she hadn't yet seen her interacting with any of the other women. That was normal, however. It often took several days or even weeks for new arrivals to begin to forge friendships with the other residents.
"Just now," Kathryn nodded. "Hopefully Henry's presence will stop these girls fighting all the time. He's about seven, right?"
"In three months," Regina confirmed
"Rose is six, Amy's nine," Kathryn said. "Let's hope they can entertain themselves in the park so I can actually have a chat with my dad without them needing my attention every five seconds. I thought kids were supposed to enjoy playing with their siblings but mine just seem to fight constantly. That said, Emily won't leave my side any more. She's almost four but she acts like she did when she was two since we moved to the shelter."
Not for the first time, Regina wondered what life would be like if Henry had a sibling. But it wasn't an option, at least not a biological one. Complications during her son's birth had left her unable to carry another child to term. She had been devastated when the doctor had broken the news, even though, at the time, she wasn't considering a second child. Leo's reaction to her infertility, anger rather than sadness and support, had crippled the last of Regina's self-confidence.
"Regina?"
Snapping back to attention at the sound of her name, Regina started to see concerned green orbs looking at her. She must have zoned out, lost in painful memories.
"Sorry," she mumbled, heat rising in her cheeks even though she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about. "So, are we ready to go?"
"We're just waiting for Henry," Emma said gently, knowing that the brunette's mind had gone somewhere completely unconnected to the shelter for a brief moment.
Regina turned towards the door where Henry had disappeared, realising that she had temporarily forgotten her son. She stayed stock still, waiting for the small boy to reappear. Behind her Emma and Kathryn were talking about the latter's father and what their plans were for the day in the park. Regina was only half listening and felt her heart flutter when Henry at last reappeared, a soccer ball tucked under his arm.
The journey from The Bronx to Central Park by bus took little under an hour. Emma knew the subway was faster, but she couldn't deal with the crowds. Plus, the bus gave the children the opportunity to see the city. Regina watched the unfamiliar streets slide by, tuned completely out of the conversation Emma and Kathryn were having about the woman's upcoming job interview.
When they arrived at their bus stop, a few blocks from the park, Emma ushered everyone onto the sidewalk and then led the way to their destination. Mere minutes later, children's hands clutched in the adults, they hurried across the pedestrian crossing and found themselves on the edge of Central Park.
"I know there's a great park in The Bronx but I do love coming here," Emma mused, almost more to herself than anyone else as she stood, hands on hips, at the gateway to a wide, grassy area of the park. Although overcast, it was a warm April day now the last of the morning chill had seeped from the air and the park was dotted with families and friends, enjoying some of the first pleasant weather of the year.
"It's beautiful," Regina observed. She had never been to New York before but had seen countless movies and TV shows which featured the park. The fact that she was now standing on the edge of it was a little surreal. Through the trees to the right, she could see Central Park lake glittering as a gentle wind ruffles the water's surface.
Henry slipped his hand from Regina's and looked up questioningly, a silent request for permission.
"Don't go too far," Regina said, knowing her son wasn't one to wander off anyway and trusting him to stay within sight.
The boy nodded fervently and raced to catch up with Amy and Rose who were already sprinting across the grass, Kathryn and Emily walking more slowly behind them. Regina watched for a moment before setting off too. Emma fell into step beside the brunette.
The stroll across the park to where the children had started kicking the soccer ball around was silent. Emma was partly enjoying the fresh air but also didn't want to push Regina into any conversation she wasn't ready for. Regina, on her part, didn't know what to say. The red jacket in her peripheral vision was starting to become the elephant in the room. At least, it was to her. Perhaps to Emma it was just a jacket.
By the time they reached the children, Kathryn had spread out a picnic blanket which she had pulled, Mary Poppins style, from her bag and sat down. Emily had crawled into her lap and curled up, sucking her thumb.
"Em, stop that," the mother chided. The little girl shook her head and seemed to suck more firmly. "She started again when we left," Kathryn offered by way of an excuse.
"It's normal," Emma reassured her. "She'll stop in her own time."
Emily was not the first child at the shelter to regress somewhat in terms of development after the trauma of being removed, without warning, from her routine and family home. Children usually recovered fairly quickly but there was always an adjustment period. Emma often had to remind parents that this was just part of the process and that children would bounce back.
"I can't afford an orthodontist," Kathryn sighed.
"She's only three," Regina said, sitting down beside the blonde mother. "I'm sure a few weeks won't have any long-term effects."
Emma sat down too and echoed Regina's sentiments. Kathryn looked unconvinced but shrugged and moved on, pulling out her cell and texting her father to let him know they had arrived.
"I should get a cell," Regina mused.
"We can help you with that," Emma said. "The shelter has a set-up package, as it were, for women to get you re-established with those sorts of basics."
"I've got money," Regina replied a little defensively.
She didn't like handouts and hated feeling dependent on anyone. Leo's refusal to allow her to work had been crippling. He'd been generous enough with her allowance but the mere fact that she relied on him, that he controlled her finances, was hard to accept. She had worked, in the early years of their marriage. But once she took maternity leave for Henry, six months turned into one year which turned into two and then suddenly Leo was telling her that she'd never get another job, that she didn't have the skills or the experience, so it was better for her to just stay at home and he'd provide for the family.
She'd been squirrelling money away for years, saving a little each week until she knew she had enough to get safely away and make a fresh start. It might have been his money in the first place but when she had looked at that bundle of twenties, fifties and hundreds, neatly stacked, Regina felt emancipated. Now she wasn't dependent on anyone.
Realising she had zoned out again, Regina refocused her attention on Emma who was halfway through a sentence.
"- and then we'll get him signed up."
Regina nodded in agreement before shaking her head, realising she didn't have a clue what Emma was talking about. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
"Henry and school on Monday. I'll go with you."
"Thanks," Regina smiled weakly. "That would be great."
"Don't you usually work Monday nights only?" Kathryn piped up, fingers tapping on the side of her cell as she waited for her father to call her.
"Yeah, but I don't mind coming in for a few hours in the morning for something like this."
"No, Emma, it's your day off. It's fine. I can ask Ruby or whomever is working, right?" Regina argued.
"Technically yes but I'm your case worker and I want to be there. Honestly, it's no big deal."
Regina bit her lip, a nervous habit she couldn't shake. "Are you sure?"
"Positive," Emma smiled just as Kathryn's phone rang. The blonde gently moved her youngest daughter from her lap, stood from the blanket and walked a little way away to answer. Emily at once hurried after the retreating woman, whimpering quietly at the loss of her mother's body.
Regina suddenly felt a wave of emotion wash over her as she realised how much she missed her own parents. Before she could disappear down that rabbit hole, Henry ran over, asking Regina for a drink. The mother, always prepared, dug around in her handbag and passed over her son's bottle. He slurped down the water greedily before tossing it back onto the mat and rushing over to re-join Amy and Rose who were at last playing nicely with each other.
Sunlight spread slowly over the grass as the clouds split apart at last. Emma looked up, smiled at the sight and lay down on the blanket. Warmth seeped into the air as the rays hit her body. Spring had well and truly sprung in the city. Reaching up above her head, Emma stretched out her tired limbs, feeling the muscles in her arms flex slightly. Regina glanced towards at the movement, quickly looking away from the sliver of skin which appeared between the bottom of Emma's white shirt and the top of her black slacks.
The blonde's eyes were closed, a serene sense of peace on her features as she felt the sunshine on her face. See, this was fine, she thought to herself. Ruby was worrying for nothing.
"Emma, my dad's over by the ducks at the lake. He's brought some food for the kids to give the birds. I'm going to go and meet him there for a bit, is that ok?"
Sitting up, Emma squinted up at the silhouette of the woman standing in front of her. "Of course. You don't have to ask my permission to do that. Regina, Henry and I will hang out here, right?"
"Right," Regina nodded.
"Thanks. I reckon we'll be an hour or so. I've got your number so I'll call if anything changes."
"No problem. Have a good time. Say hi to your dad for me," Emma said.
Promising to do just that, Kathryn began to gather up the few possessions which had tumbled from her handbag while she had been on the picnic rug and called her older daughters over to her. Amy pouted at the idea of having to stop playing soccer but cheered up as soon as she found out she was going to feed the ducks with her grandad. A couple of minutes later, four blonde heads were bobbing away from them, heading towards the large lake. Henry stood a few metres from Regina and Emma, the abandoned soccer ball by his feet.
"Mom, I'm bored," Henry sighed, realising that his new friends weren't going to come back.
"I'll play with you for a bit," Emma offered, jumping up and shrugging off the jacket. It landed beside Regina with a thud as the blonde jogged away from her, tapping the ball easily from Henry and dribbling it further from their patch of the park. Henry giggled and ran after her, his small legs trying to wrestle the ball from Emma's possession.
Regina, however, saw none of this. Her eyes were fixated on the jacket which had appeared beside her. She stared at it for almost a minute before, finally, reaching out to feel the warm material. It was the same one, she was sure of it. She'd know that jacket anywhere. The softness of the leather implied it had been well worn. Good, she thought to herself. The fact that she had never seen Emma in the jacket at high school hadn't been a surprise after what had happened. But she did sometimes find herself wondering whether Emma would ever wear it again. Clearly she had and for that Regina was glad.
Her fingers ran over the red leather, stroking methodically back and forth. Inch by inch, the jacket migrated its way into Regina's lap until it sat there, balled between her crossed legs, hands clutching the material almost protectively. Memories washed over her.
The day she first saw Emma in that jacket, fourteen years earlier. Bunking off school that afternoon for the first time in her life. The journey to the mall, to the store, to find what she knew she needed. Tracking down where the blonde lived. Sneaking up to the porch and leaving the bag. Catching sight of the teenager trudging down the sidewalk just as she was climbing into her own car, cold and wet and looking utterly miserable. Regina had watched from across the street as Emma had made her way inside the house, grabbing the bag at the last minute before disappearing. She had waited in her car for ten minutes. For what, she didn't know. Eventually, as her breath began to escape in clouds inside her car, she started the engine and drove home, mind churning, stomach in knots, heart confused.
"He's got skills," Emma said, interrupting the trip down memory lane as she flopped down beside the brunette, lying on one side, facing Regina.
The mother jumped as if she had been scalded, all but throwing the jacket back at the blonde. Emma's eyebrows rose as she realised what Regina had been doing. The offending item, which had landed on her hip, slid down to the blanket. Emma wasn't sure what had made her select that particular piece of clothing that morning. She didn't wear the jacket often but for some reason, it had been what she had chosen from her wardrobe. Perhaps, subconsciously, she wanted to have the conversation which, she knew, they were about to have.
"It was you," Emma said quietly.
"What was me?" Regina asked, feigning ignorance.
"You replaced my jacket that day, didn't you?"
There was a pause. "What Vicky did wasn't right." The words were a quiet, indirect confession.
"No, it wasn't. But it also wasn't the first mean thing she did to me."
Regina's cheeks burned again. "No, it wasn't," she agreed. "Emma, I'm -"
"Sorry. Yeah, I know," Emma interrupted. "You're sorry now, I get that. But what I don't get is why you spent so much money replacing something your friend stole from me back then. You were their ringleader, right? Why didn't you just tell them to stop?"
"I couldn't," Regina whispered.
"Yes, you could have," Emma countered, "but you chose not to, why?"
"I … don't know," Regina finished eventually.
There was a pause. Regina was watching her son who was practicing dribbling the ball with moves Emma had been teaching him while Regina was reminiscing. Emma, meanwhile, was watching the brunette, trying and failing to read the complex flickering of emotions which crossed her face.
"I never wore that jacket until I moved back to New York," Emma offered. "I couldn't deal with the memory. But even here, sometimes I can't wear it. It's confusing, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," Regina nodded. Confusing was definitely the right word to describe it. The only problem was, she knew her confusion was completely different to Emma's.
"I always figured it must have been you who bought this jacket," Emma went on. "I mean, there was no way it was Vicky and Zelena didn't seem like the type to spend money on anyone other than herself. It had to be you. I knew that logically but I couldn't understand why so I didn't let myself believe it, not at first."
"When did you start believing it?"
"I think you know the answer to that question," Emma said quietly.
Regina turned to look at the blonde, taking in at last the woman who was lying beside her. Her gut clenched; guilt and regret and sadness and myriad other emotions coursing through her veins.
"Emma, I'm so sorry."
At those words, the blonde sighed and pushed herself into a sitting position, running her hands through her hair. "Can we just stop with that word? I know you mean well but it really isn't helping."
"I'm not talking about what I did with Vicky and Zelena," Regina clarified. "You already know I regret all of that but I also know that one little word isn't going to be enough to make up for what we did to you in high school. I'm not saying it'll make up for what I did that night either but, oh God, Emma, can you just let me explain?"
"What's there to explain?" Emma asked, feeling her heart beat faster. This was a subject matter she didn't want to discuss; she wasn't ready to discuss. The jacket was one thing but that night was something else. One, two, three, four, five, pause. One, two, three, four, five, pause. "I was just a butt of one of your jokes, yet again. I was used to your cruelty, Regina. Hell, I'd endured it for two years. It hurt but I could take it. You could tease me about my autism and I could rationalise it; you didn't understand me, you didn't get how my mind works. Fine. That I could cope with. But what you did the night of graduation was different. It was crueller than anything else. It shattered me, my self-confidence, my self-acceptance. After that night, it took me over a year of therapy to get back to where I was before graduation. I don't want to talk about that night."
Regina's wide brown eyes were sparkling with tears as she heard the woman's brutal truth. "Emma, I'm so sorry," she said, unable to stop the word spilling from her lips once more, "and I know what I did is unforgivable, but there is something you have to know. Please, I think it will help."
"Help? Regina, I'm over it now. I'm not still hung up on the past. I've worked through everything which was brought up that night with my therapist and I've moved on. I don't need your help to do that, do you understand?"
The brunette nodded. "I know and I think you're incredibly strong but I do need to say this, perhaps for me as much as you."
Emma's pulse thudded under her skin. She was close to the edge, close to breaking point. She knew that. But she could also see the desperation on Regina's face, the emotion so clear even Emma could read it. There was something eating the brunette alive and she needed to get it out. Emma was her case worker. Emma was the woman Regina was supposed to be able to talk to. If she wanted to do her job as well as she knew she could, she had to listen, even if another part of her never wanted to talk about that night again. One, two, three, four, five, pause. One, two, three, four, five, pause. She nodded her consent.
"That night; it wasn't a setup. It wasn't a trick or a joke or anything like that. I didn't know Vicky and Zelena were going to come looking for me. Hell, I didn't come looking for you. I was just taking a walk around high school for the last time. Memories, you know? I guess you were doing the same thing. It wasn't planned. What happened wasn't some big prank which we concocted as some sort of evil bully's last hurrah. That was just me, Emma. What happened, what I said, what I did. It was all me."
A/N: Theories welcome!