Cusco, Peru
The dark figure landed in a three-point stance. It slowly rose up, cape unfurling behind it, and glared. The intensity of the newcomer's gaze was evident even behind its mask.
"Atrás, putas."
Ron blinked, confused. "Uh, what? Who are you?"
"Ron, he said–" Kim stopped. "Nevermind."
"Gringos," the caped crusader muttered to himself. He raised his voice. "I am...El Chinchilla!"
Kim raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't that be La Chinchilla?"
"Yes, but see, I am a man. The Chinchilla Man," El Chinchilla pointed out.
"Oh, like The Flying Ferret!" Ron exclaimed.
"I love that show!" the superhero gushed. He coughed and affected a serious tone. "But enough talking. Leave."
"No way, Chinchilla!" Shego said. "Not until we get that wallet!"
"So be it," El Chinchilla said.
In a swift motion, El Chinchilla whirled around, using his cape to guard him from prying eyes as he reached into a pocket of his utility belt. Pulling out a handful of pepper, sand, and salt, he hurled the mixture into Kim's eyes. While Kim clawed at her burning peepers, El Chinchilla ran up a wall and then jumped off, aiming a kick at Shego's face. Reacting quickly, Shego grabbed his leg and spun on her heel, sending him flying towards a wall. El Chinchilla was more agile than she expected, however, and he acrobatically flipped off the wall and landed in front of Ron. El Chinchilla transitioned his landing into a breakdance-style leg sweep, knocking Ron over, and then flipped onto his feet. When Shego lunged for him, he ducked, sending Shego flying full force at Motor Ed. They collided and crashed to the ground. El Chinchilla wasn't done yet, however, as he ran towards Ron and decked him with a powerful uppercut just as he was struggling to his feet. Ron flew through the air, fell back, and tripped over the bodies of Shego and Motor Ed, keeping them down for a few seconds more.
Kim finally wiped her eyes free of the irritants El Chinchilla had thrown in them. Unfortunately, it was at this point that El Chinchilla chose to throw down a smoke bomb. Heavy black smoke filled the area, and in the midst of it El Chinchilla grabbed the thief and hightailed it out the entrance to the alleyway. However, despite being blind, Shego wasn't deaf, and after standing up in the middle of the smokestorm, she proceeded to nail down El Chinchilla's approximate location and leap at him.
A flying kick to the back of his head sent El Chinchilla sprawling, and when the smoke cleared Shego had the thief pinned against the back wall of the restaurant. El Chinchilla reached into the pocket of his utility belt, but before he could make a move Motor Ed attempted to tackle him. Although El Chinchilla squirmed out of the tackle, this slowed him down enough for Kim to launch herself at him.
El Chinchilla ducked under the kick aimed at his head and threw a large marble at Shego. Upon contacting with her head, it exploded into a cloud of horrible-smelling gas. Shego let go of the thief and backed up, hacking and coughing. She used one of her hands to cover her nose and mouth, the other to try and wave away the odor, and neither to restrain the thief. Unfortunately for the thief, Kim's missed kick had carried her over to him, and she ripped the thief away from the stink and threw him at El Chinchilla. El Chinchilla instinctively caught the teen in midair and therefore wasn't able to block Motor Ed's right hook, the force of which sent him sprawling and caused him to drop the thief.
Motor Ed put a foot on the thief's chest to hold him down. Ron walked over and knelt down by the fourteen-year-old.
"Okay," Ron said calmly. "Could I please have my wallet?"
El Chinchilla heaved himself up and ran at them. Before he could get within striking range, a green-and-black clad leg stuck itself out in front of him. He tripped over it and fell forward. Motor Ed lifted his leg to allow El Chinchilla to land on the thief and then brought his foot back down on the cape-wearer's back, pinning both of them simultaneously.
El Chinchilla lifted his head, hatred in his eyes. "Scoundrels!" he spat. "You won't get away with this!"
"Uh, yeah, I think we just did," Shego said smugly.
"The cause of justice will always triumph in the end!" El Chinchilla declared angrily. "Vicious criminals like you will one day be brought to justice! Petty thieves who bully the poor will not be victorious; in the end, their sins will be revealed, and, and–madre de Dios, I hate trying to monologue in your language!"
"Really? Because I thought you were pretty good at it," Ron said.
El Chinchilla smiled, but swiftly turned it into a scowl. "A compliment from a rascal is no compliment at all."
"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Ron said excitedly. "You're great at this stuff!"
"Whoa, hold on," Kim said. She knelt to look at El Chinchilla. "Are you telling us that you think we're the criminals here?"
"You pursue an innocent child halfway across the city to get his wallet. What other conclusion is there to draw?" El Chinchilla asked.
"Um, that's my wallet," Ron said.
El Chinchilla spat. "Nothing stolen is ever truly yours."
"No, I mean–look, could you hand it over?" Ron asked the thief. The thief did not comply.
"Allow me," Shego said. She leaned down and lit up one of her hands next to the thief's face. "You wanna see what these can do?"
The thief quickly wriggled his arms free and handed over Ron's wallet. Ron opened it up and showed it to El Chinchilla.
"Stoppable. Ron. Male. Eyes bro, hair blo–" El Chinchilla squinted as he tried to match the photo with Ron's face. He then nodded guardedly.
"I apologize," he said. "I believed that you were street thugs out to rob a boy of his hard-earned money. I was incorrect, and should never have fought you."
"It's cool, bro," Ron said. "You've got some moves, I'm very impressed."
"Speak for yourself," Shego muttered. "You didn't get a snootful of stink."
"Or sand in your eyes," Kim added.
"So, should I let him up?" Motor Ed asked.
"No," Shego snarled viciously.
"Uh, yes!" Ron countered. "Dude, this guy is like a total superhero! He's awesome!"
"Ron!" Kim said angrily.
"Oh, right," Ron said. He turned back to El Chinchilla. "Dude, seriously, sand? In my girlfriend's eyes? That is wrong!"
"How else to take her out of the fight quickly?" El Chinchilla asked.
Ron stroked his chin. "You know, he's got a point."
Kim groaned.
"I'm just saying!" Ron said hastily. "You're the best fighter of all of us–"
"Hey!" Shego barked.
"–and he totally would've won if you hadn't gotten involved," Ron finished.
"HEY!" Shego barked.
"Plus, he thought we were evildoers and jumped in to stop us how cool is that?"
Kim smiled. "Fine, I guess it was pretty cool. Let him up."
Motor Ed obediently removed his foot, and El Chinchilla climbed to his feet. He was followed by the thief, who tried to run off as soon as he was upright; however, he didn't make it more than a step before El Chinchilla grabbed him and pinned his arms behind his back. The group exited the alleyway with the superhero still containing the thief.
At that moment, three police cars pulled up next to them with their lights flashing.