A/N: Holy crap I hate crying over my own writing, I feel like an utter idiot. Couldn't avoid it this time, though. Homophobia is something so insidious that it can creep and fester, like cancer, into the nicest hearts. And many times the person that perpetuates the horrible cycle of hatred that is prejudice can't even begin to understand what they did, due to simple, basic ignorance about how mental processes work.
Kakashi's stupid freaking out from a gay joke then joking about it to make Naruto freak out about the same thing afterward is true, it happened at least twice in canon. Maito Gai telling Lee, and quite possibly both Neji and Tenten as well, that being queer is normal and just another expression of love is also canon.
Maito Gai will be MAH HERO FOREVER for that one line, and no, making him queer in my fic does not spoil his character at all; one does not need to be queer to teach someone not to be homophobic, but it IS true that many successful, well-balanced queer people choose to work with queer youth to help them overcome psychological and emotional issues caused by homophobia and to show them that there are actual good role models for them to follow and still be who they are.
As always, thank you guys for reading, please do share your thoughts about this extremely important chapter.
To Korregidora about last chapter: Not every Uchiha carries the Sharingan, so there is a higher probability of Uchihas leaving the main clan and surviving somewhere else. About Mitiro and her goddess' interactions, it is an exaggeration of an intimacy between clerics and gods that DOES exist in ancient polytheistic religions. Old gods are flawed, and so they are much more understanding of human nature and approachable than the distant only god of monotheistic religions. Thanks for the review, you always notice something cool :D
And now, for something completely different, but also exactly the same:
Naruto's hands and shins were pretty much minced meat, but he didn't even flinch as he kept hitting the granite.
Ordinary wood posts had been replaced so many times in this particular training ground, Kakashi had given up and had decided to install three stone boulders instead.
Naruto had already pulverized two of them, with no special moves or chakra use whatsoever.
Kurama had tried to reason the blonde into stopping the self-torture so that his chakra could at least heal the damage he was inflicting to himself, to no avail, so the fox gave up and went to sleep as he did every day, hoping his Jinchuuriki would still be sane enough to stop before killing himself.
'Three weeks' were the words haunting the blonde's brain. Three weeks without dreams. Plenty of the usual bone-chilling nightmares, just not dreams. Especially one particular dream Naruto was desperate to relive.
In those three weeks Sakura had tried to cheer him up twice, before resorting to tell Naruto that the dream/not dream the Uzumaki had had about his long lost friend might have been a sign that their bond was "reaching its natural course" and the new markings in his arm were a reflection of that.
Naruto knew Sakura was trying to be kind, but he had gone insane with panic.
Which, considering the blonde was still being monitored 24/7 and had not one soul to help him reach the Uchiha, as he was sure Sakura was being spied on herself (he could not imagine why else had she not suggested a way for him to reach Sasuke) was the reason for his current predicament.
"He's not dying. I'll find a way. He's not dying." was the mantra the blonde repeated through clenched teeth, blood seeping through his forehead and mixing with his angry tears.
Naruto had been able to function properly through the first week and a half, but as the second began to end he had steadily cracked until he had been reduced to a mindless drone that only woke up, went to the training grounds, threw himself against the boulders until there was nothing left of them, went back home and slept for over twelve hours.
It was this sorry state of affairs that Konohamaru witnessed from afar.
The young ninja had been extremely worried for his friend for over a year already, but had kept his suspicions to himself in respect for his borrowed brother's life choices.
However, he couldn't just leave the blonde alone with his demons anymore. He firmly believed that whatever it was that had broken the man had reached a point where either Konohamaru intervened, or the Jinchuuriki would end up killing himself.
Sarutobi Konohamaru had a pretty good idea just who to take Naruto for help, too. The man had been the one of two people in Konoha able to help him, after all.
The problem was just how to get the blonde to stop breaking his own body long enough to call his attention.
Konohamaru thought for a couple of minutes, hearing the tired grunts and huffs coming from his onii-chan's direction, and came up with the one obvious answer.
It took a madman to subdue another, so he went for Rock Lee. And if Rock Lee wasn't available, Konohamaru would find a way to get Gaara until the day was over. It was that much of an emergency.
"By gods, you weren't kidding" Lee said with a scared look on his face, as they reached the training grounds to find Naruto having had pulverized the top two thirds of the last boulder and working steadily on the last part while completely covered in blood.
"If we can make him snap out of it Udon and Moegi are ready to do the Reverse Jutsu for distraction until we reach the meeting site" Konohamaru told him. He had made sure both had taken a good look at Naruto so the technique would fool the spies already on the blonde.
A loud, wet snap was heard as Naruto kicked the boulder, and Lee took off, barreling into the Uzumaki and effectively knocking him down with the broken leg trailing at an unnatural angle, jumping up, throwing the blonde over his shoulder and running away up to the village.
As he entered the village proper he ducked into an empty alley and came out from its right amidst a cloud of Rock Lee-shaped clones carrying Naruto clones on their backs.
Naruto had invented the Reverse Harem no Jutsu, but Konohamaru had made it better.
Half an hour and many twists and turns later, Lee entered a basement and dropped Naruto over a hastily cleaned table, where his leg was put back in place by an entirely sympathetic Shizune.
A few more people quickly made their entrance and stood around waiting for the blonde to come out of his pain-induced high.
"Naruto nii-san, wake up", Konohamaru pleaded after a few minutes.
"Whe-where am I?" Naruto asked, as he came off from his daze.
"With friends", a familiar voice said, in a tone Naruto had never heard, though. A bowl-cut came into his field of vision, but not Rock Lee's.
Naruto's body went rigid, and he sat up immediately.
"I must have exaggerated with the taijutsu training, hehe… uh, thank you guys, I'm fine now, see", he started.
"Naruto, we're here because we think there's something in your heart you need to let out" Maito Gai said with a kind, worried voice.
"Me?" Naruto gasped in a sudden panic. "No, come on, you know me, no secrets, I'm all right really, just overdid it a little bit, you know how it is, Gai-sensei, heh", the blonde said, and tried to get off the table.
"Can't do, Naruto. We try to avoid meddling in anyone's lives because we see there are reasons for them to choose to refrain from seeking help, but we can't let you destroy yourself, man", Tenten's voice was heard, "trust us, we think we can help you."
"Help? No, no need to help, really", Naruto waved his hands frantically, "there's nothing wrong with me!"
Rock Lee sighed. "Really? You think Kakashi would agree to that, Naruto?" he said, "I know there isn't anything wrong, and I told you that time, but since Kakashi freaked out you just couldn't believe it, could you?"
Naruto jumped up from the table and made for the door, but he was jumped on by everyone in the room before he reached it.
"Lemme go! I'm sorry! I never did anything! I'm not doing anything! I swear! Please!" Naruto screamed in sheer terror.
It was all his worst nightmares come true: they had found out, they would hate him even more than they already did, they would hurt him for it, and by hurting him they'd finally get to Sasuke. His… his wrongness, his defect, had taken Sasuke away from him forever and now it would kill his most special person, because Sasuke would find out and, not being the coward that he was, would come back for him as soon as he did, and be executed.
If there was one thing Naruto was sure of in his whole miserable life, it was that if the Uchiha hadn't been able to allow himself to kill the blonde, he would destroy anyone else who dared lay a finger on him, if he could.
"Please, please… ok, I give up, it's true, I'm not normal, I'm diseased, I'm wrong, but please, I haven't been with anyone, I swear it's all my fault, please don't" the blonde sobbed, "please don't kill him, it's not his fault, just leave him alone, he won't hurt anyone again, I swear", he cried out, relaxing his body. "Please… just let me go, let me do it myself, so he won't come after you", he said the last quietly between sobs.
He curled into a ball as the mass of bodies distanced away from him in silence, and whimpered when strong hands pulled him up into a tight embrace.
"Oh my gods… Naruto, my little brother, you are normal, there is nothing wrong with you… we are here for you, most of us because we are the same as you. I am just like you, and we want to help you, not hurt you, and for crying out loud, definitely not kill you and much less let you do it to yourself over this!" Iruka said in a shocked voice, rocking the traumatized sobbing blonde in his arms.
All of a sudden a loud crack of knuckles was heard.
"Iruka, everyone… would you please take care of him for a bit? I have a score to settle with my old rival" Gai said in an icy tone, and left before anyone could say anything.
Less than five minutes later Gai reached the Hokage's office and moved close to Genma, beckoning Raidou close to them.
"I need the special underground room now. And I mean right now" he said in a very low voice.
"No problem" both men said. "May we know who this time?" Genma asked in an angry voice.
"Him", Gai pointed at the Hokage office. The two special ANBU froze. "Who did he hurt?" Raidou asked.
"Naruto", Gai growled.
Both ninja took their masks off and gave him a look of rightful wrath. "Let's get him" they said together.
Kakashi was actually doing some paperwork when the three men entered the office, and started as Genma grabbed his arm, but the teleportation happened so quickly he finished flinching in a large empty room.
"Ok, um, guys? What is going on?" Kakashi asked, taking a couple of steps back. "You know I'm all up for fun and games, but now is really not the time"
"Enough with the jokes, Kakashi" Gai said in a quiet tone. "How many times, by the way, did I tell you NOT to throw that kind of joke at the kids?"
"Dude, come on, they're just jokes, it's all innocent fun" Kakashi said nervously, raising his hands in front of himself in a conciliatory gesture.
"Well, because of your innocent fun, Konohamaru and Lee had to drag a bloody, physically broken and mentally destroyed, suicidal Naruto to my basement, you motherfucking irresponsible piece of shit!" Gai screamed at Kakashi.
"I am SO fucking tired of your little homophobic "fun", you have no idea how much I just want to knock out every single fucking tooth in that bigoted mouth of yours" the jounin growled, seething with anger.
"Man, what's with you, Naruto isn't even queer!" Kakashi yelled, but froze at the three dead serious men staring at him, and his eyelids slowly peeled back until both eyes were round as dinner plates. "He IS?" he asked in shock.
"Hatake Kakashi, are you fucking BLIND? Gods damn it, the kid spent one third of his life thinking about NOTHING but the Uchiha boy! You yourself said their bond travels through dimensions! That Sasuke tried to kill Naruto because even though they spent half of the time since they met each other separate they were still each other's strongest bond! That the Sage of the Six Paths, may that motherfucker rot in hell, said Naruto and Sasuke had a Yin/Yang bond! Do you know NOTHING about that specific kind of bond, about soulmates living all parts of the relationship spectrum in different incarnations, as brothers, friends and lovers in our religious studies for undercover work, you stupid, arrogant, bigoted, immature boy?" Gai hollered at him.
"Yeah, but he said their chakra was first Ashura and Indra's, who were brothers, then Hashirama and Madara's, who were friends, even Naruto and Sasuke referred to each other as best friends!" Kakashi yelled back, feeling his stomach churn.
"Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Obito was your fucking best friend, did you promise to die with him so he wouldn't be alone in the afterlife? Did you nearly kill yourself after the war along with him because you knew he'd be alone if you weren't with him? Did Obito want to trigger the Infinite Tsukuyomi to be with you?" Gai growled, taking a step closer to him.
"Of course not! Obito loved Rin, she was his most important person, not -" Kakashi started, and gasped mid-sentence, bringing his hands to his mouth in realization as his knees wobbled, "All that promise to Sakura thing was self-denial?" he asked in horror. He fell down hard on his butt.
"Kakashi, the boy was hated and shunned from society from birth, you think after he was told he could never have anything he wanted his whole life and having this specific form of prejudice reinforced by his own jounin sensei, his first role model of what adulthood was, he'd be able to be rational about his feelings?" Genma asked him.
"Sakura-san only stopped acting like a two year old toddler throwing a tantrum in a toy store over a sold-out toy about Uchiha Sasuke after the war, and she never suffered anything remotely close to what those two poor souls did and still do. How could you be so mindfully heartless to go around joking about this to someone as emotionally fragile as Naruto?" Raidou asked Kakashi as well, shaking his head.
"Look, I'm not a medic, ok? Damn, I don't even know any queers!" Kakashi complained from his spot on the floor. "How could I recognize that Naruto was one?"
Gai huffed in derision. "Oh you don't know any queers, Kakashi? Let me give you a brief list, so don't you even let me get started on Root: Morino Ibiki. Raidou, Genma and me. Kato Shizune. Umino Iruka. Tenten, my pupil. Sarutobi Konohamaru. Sabaku no Gaara. Those are the ones that are actually alive. Wanna know who else you know of that was officially registered as queer in either clan or ninja records and that is dead now? Hyuuga Neji. Same Hyuuga Neji that died to save a friend he was not in love with, so that friend could save everyone else".
Kakashi was as white as a bed sheet. "Wait, you are queer? For real?" he asked Gai in disbelief.
"Why, afraid of catching gay cooties? Now?" Gai asked.
"Why didn't anyone ever tell me this?" Kakashi asked back.
"Because, Rokudaime-sama, it wasn't any of your business before you became Hokage, and you never bothered to read the S-class specific traits and talents in anybody's file after you did. You don't even choose who's going on missions, Shikamaru does all the strategy work", Genma said.
"You think people like us enjoy prancing around yelling about our difference from others to everyone? We have the same rights to privacy as you do, man. We would like for our way to be seen as normal by everyone else as the straight way, so we could at least participate in regular day to day lunch-hour talks like "hey, what's the best cold remedy you know, my spouse needs some", and some of the legal rights you have because you're expected to reproduce, basically the same property and marital rights; but that is all, we are as mindful of our own lives as you are. And we are afraid of you regular people, because so many of you just insist in acting as if we were monsters."Raidou complemented.
"And that is why I always preferred to make childish jokes than mature ones with my genin. So I could be seen as the funny nice sensei that my genin need me to be so they have at least some part of the grueling training regimen I put them through not seem as stressful as it is, while still being someone that can teach them to be decent and respectful to everyone and love themselves as they are", Gai said in a tired voice, "I knew that if they were educated to respect everyone, they wouldn't be scarred for life for being different from the norm if they were different, and wouldn't scar anyone else who was different if they weren't. Naruto and Sasuke not only have behaved with each other as if they were in love half their lives, but the lovers bond is the only soulmate bond they haven't built yet. They have been brothers and friends already, the only bond left is the ultimate, the most intimate, the most trusting and most important bond of them all."
Kakashi often said he knew he was a piece of shit, but right now he realized he didn't begin to know any of the horrid effects his behavior could have on other people.
He knew he had failed Sasuke and beat himself up for that reason to this day.
He knew he had failed Sakura but had felt free of that guilt when he realized how strong and capable she had become under Tsunade's guidance.
He knew he had failed Naruto but had felt at least partly free of that guilt as Jiraya took him under his wing.
However, the guilt had come over him as if it were a Perfect Susanoo.
If he had been mindful that Sasuke loved Naruto that much, he would have never separated their training, because Naruto's presence would have helped overcome Orochimaru's cursed seal.
If he had been mindful that his jokes and fooling around could hurt Naruto into not being able to understand his true feelings for Sasuke, the boy not only would't have spent his whole life trying to copy a flawed model of romantic love based on Sakura's looks, and would have had a much stronger weapon to possibly convince Sasuke to not kill his own brother, to find a different way to solve that conflict that could've probably – and this being Naruto, the numbers were high – cut the events that led to the Fourth Shinobi War at their root.
Oh gods it was ALL his –
*SLAP*
"Snap out of it, you idiot. Damn it, why the hell did I choose such an emotional wreck to be my best friend and rival, I can't even..." Gai muttered at his shocked face, "Get your shit together, you're going to apologize to Naruto right now. And you better take that stupid mask off when you talk to him, he deserves to see it on your face when you do" he finished, and he and Raidou teleported out of the room.
Kakashi gave Genma a humble look. "I am never, ever, ever gloating about besting that man in anything, ever again. I am so sorry, Genma, I never knew I could cause such pain." he said, and meant it.
Genma grabbed his shoulder to teleport the both of them out. "Just never forget that you did, so you never do it again, Hokage-sama."
A/N: Oh, and btw, yes, the ONLY bond Naruto and Sasuke haven't experienced in canon yet is as lovers. Which is, as everyone knows, the most important one because it is the only one where people become partners and live together in all senses of the term for the rest of that specific lifespan - which does not happen in other bonds.