Living Without You
Part 10
Thank you guys for all your reviews and thank you thank you thank you! to eccy, you keep me going when I become my own worst critic. Anyhow I'll try and not be too dramatic on this chapter but I don't make any promises
Two days later
Kelsi was lying in her hospital bed with all of the Wildcats surrounding her, she didn't mind that much, it was nice to know that they loved, supported and cared for her even when she felt like she didn't want it. She wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying, it had something to do with a camping trip Chad, Taylor, Gabriella, and Troy had gone on.
"Yeah and Taylor thought we should do it outside, until it started raining." Chad said smiling, as Taylor started to blush.
They carried on laughing until Kelsi's doctor knocked on the door.
"All right guys I need to see Kelsi so if you wouldn't mind waiting outside for a bit?" The doctor said, shooing the teens out of the room.
"You too Mr. Evans." The doctor motioned towards Ryan.
"Is it all right if I stay?" Ryan asked, taking Kelsi's hand.
"Is this okay with you, Kelsi?" The doctor asked, and Kelsi gave him a weak uncertain nod.
"All right he can stay." The doctor said as he took a seat across from Kelsi and Ryan. "Kelsi today we want to take out your breathing tube, your oxygen levels have been pretty good these last couple of days, and we think its time to take it out"
"Are you sure?" Ryan asked "I mean is it going to be okay?" He finished, squeezing Kelsi's hand.
"She'll be just fine now Mr. Evans, we have been monitoring her for two days now and she seems to be doing just fine." The doctor finished, grabbing his gloves and motioning to the nurse to get ready. "Now what I want you to do is take a deep breath in when I tell you to and as I pull the tube out. You need to blow really hard like your blowing out candles all right?" he asked unhooking the monitors to the breathing tube. "All right, deep breath in, and blow" he said, pulling the tube out. Kelsi coughed and gagged for a minute until it finally subsided.
Kelsi had never been happier to have that out of her body. "Thank you" she said weakly, nobody really being able to hear her but the doctor.
"Your welcome Kelsi, now get some rest I'll come back later to check on you." The doctor smiled at both Ryan and Kelsi, leaving the room. Ryan immediately went back to her side, holding her hand.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, a little over protectively.
"I'm fine Ryan," she whispered. "I just need something to drink my throat is all dry" she coughed.
"All right, I'll send the guys back in while I get you something to drink," Ryan said, ducking out of the room. As he left the others came back in, smiling at the fact that Kelsi was finally off of the ventilator and was able to talk to them.
"There you are, playmaker." Troy said, smiling at her and received a weak smile back.
"How are you feeling now?" Gabriella smiled.
"I'm just glad to be able to talk now, I can never get a word in edgewise with you guys always yammering." She whispered, her throat still sore, hoping to get a laugh out of their solemn faces, they were acting like she was dead or something. She was just fine and wished that they would all stop treating her like a baby. They all laughed, and Ryan came back in out of breath and holding a pitcher of water.
"So the doctor says to drink carefully, you don't want to over do yourself." Ryan said, pouring her a glass.
"Thank you, Ryan." She sighed, taking an uneasy sip off the cup and spilling some of it on herself.
"I got it!" Ryan said, running over to her mopping up the mess.
"Ryan it's all right" Kelsi said, trying to take the napkin and wipe herself up. 'Why was Ryan acting this way?' she thought to herself.
"No its not. I've got it, you don't want to get your bandages wet" he said, dabbing the spot near the bandage, tears forming in his eyes. The act scared his friends and Gabriella came up to him stopping his hand.
"Come on Ryan, when was the last time you ate?" She asked, taking his hand away from Kelsi's chest.
"Its okay, I'm fine, you guys go eat" Ryan said, trying to get the napkin back from Gabriella.
"Gabriella is right, the girls can stay here with Kelsi, lets get something to eat" Troy interjected, trying to keep his friend from falling apart.
"All right, I'll be right back" Ryan sighed defeatedly, he kissed Kelsi on the forehead, followed the guys out of the room, and headed towards the cafeteria. They grabbed their food and all sat down, the guys were looking at each other as they saw Ryan wolf down his food, they weren't sure if it was from him being in the army or him wanting to get back to Kelsi.
"Slow down Ry" Chad said pulling his tray away from him.
"Yeah its okay, the girls are up there with her, she'll be okay" Troy smiled.
Back in Kelsi's room
"You know you guys didn't have to stay here" Kelsi said, grabbing the remote and flicking the TV on.
"Of course we did why would we leave?" Gabriella asked, sitting down next to Kelsi's bed.
"Well I mean....It's just that...." Kelsi stumbled "Why would you want to stay with me when you could be hanging out with your boyfriends?" She sighed, playing with her sheets.
"Kelsi I'll tell you the same thing I told your parents" Sharpay said, looking her in the eyes. "You're my soon to be sister in law and you're not getting rid of me that easy"
"Who says Ryan even wants me anymore Sharpay?" Kelsi asked, the loudness of her voice startling her "He leaves me to get attacked by some creep and then I go and lose his baby" she started to cry.
Taylor, Gabriella, and Martha were all stunned, as they all looked at each other not knowing that their small friend was pregnant with Ryan's child.
"Kelsi, it's not your fault" Sharpay said, sitting on Kelsi's bed taking her hand.
"Yes it is, this never would of happened if I had my drivers license, or I took that ride from Jason, or heck even if I wasn't even dating Ryan in the first place" she cried.
"Kelsi, I know you're angry" Martha said, trying to keep Kelsi from losing her mind.
"Dammed right I'm angry!" Kelsi yelled.
"Honey, you're angry at the wrong person. Be angry at the man who did this to you not yourself or Ryan" Martha finished, tears stinging her own eyes.
"I'm not mad at Ryan, I just don't know what to do." Kelsi felt herself finally breaking down from all that happened, and it left the girls stunned. They had never seen Kelsi become so emotionally unglued before.
"Look honey, I know its hard for you right now, and none of us in this room will ever really know what you're going through, but you and Ryan need to talk this out before it destroys you both." Gabriella said, looking deep into Kelsi's eyes with compassion.
"I know" Kelsi sighed. "It's just how are we supposed to get over this? I mean what do we have to do to get things back to where they belong?"
"You'll find a way I know it" Sharpay smiled
Cafeteria
Ryan sat there watching Chad pull away his food and grabbed for it.
"Come on guys, I need to get back to Kelsi" Ryan said, reaching for his food as Chad pulled it away again.
"Nope, not going to happen until you talk to us, Evans." Chad said.
"Why do you want to talk? Kelsi is up there and she needs me, I don't have time for these games" Ryan said standing up in an attempt to walk out of the cafeteria. Troy stood up and got in his way.
"You need to calm down, Ryan" Troy said putting his hands up. "Kelsi is up there and isn't going anywhere, but you need to stay down here with us at least until you talk about what's going on." Ryan looked at Troy with his face starting to redden, he looked as if he wanted to punch Troy straight in the face, and even felt his hand start to ball into a fist.
"Get out of my way Troy or I'll have to...I'll have to" he said getting angrier and angrier.
"Get what Ryan? Angry? come on, punch me I know you want to" Troy said, egging him on.
"I'm not playing Troy" Ryan said feeling the anger rise up more and more. He reached back and hit Troy smack dab on his nose. He watched his friend fall to the floor with a loud 'oomph'. He felt bad but part of him was tired of having everyone tell him what to do. He was about to help him up, when he changed his mind, and with tears in his eyes stormed out of the cafeteria.
"It's okay" Troy said, holding his nose as the guys came up to check on him. Chad handed Troy a napkin for his bloody nose and followed Ryan outside of the hospital.
"Hey Ryan!" Chad yelled catching up to Ryan who was walking nowhere.
"Get away from me, Chad" Ryan said, kicking a random light post and ignoring the pain of a possible broken toe.
"Ryan, listen to me" Chad said, finally catching up with him. "I'm not mad about what happened in there, I think sometimes Troy needs a punch in the face" Chad laughed,
"But if you don't let all your anger out you might up hurting someone else besides Troy"
"Yeah, like who?" Ryan asked.
"Kelsi" he said sadly. "Look I know you're angry and I don't blame you, but you need to get your anger out or it will blow up in your face."
"I'm not mad at Kelsi" Ryan said looking down.
"I know you're not man, but the way you were acting in there is scaring not only us but Kelsi and she doesn't need that right now"
"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think that all this is killing me on the inside? Don't you think that there is nothing I would love to do more then track that son of a bitch down and kill him?" Ryan yelled tears stinging his eyes "That asshole took away Kelsi's baby, our baby!"
Chad stood stunned, he didn't know what to say or how to react. He knew something had happened but neither Kelsi nor Ryan had told the gang that she was pregnant with Ryan's child, or that the creep made her lose the baby.
"Ry... Ryan, I'm so sorry man I didn't know" Chad stuttered, looking down at the ground.
"Nobody knew, not even Kelsi, the doctor told her mom after the attack" Ryan answered his voice getting a little softer.
"Well you know what you need to do now?" Chad asked.
"What's that Chad?" Ryan asked wiping his face.
"You need to go up there and be the best boyfriend you can be. Kelsi is going to go through a lot, and the one person she's going to need by her side is you" Chad said putting a hand on Ryan's back in comfort "So what we're going to do is go to the gift shop, and buy the biggest bouquet of flowers, my treat." Chad laughed, taking Ryan back to the hospital.
"You think she wants a box of chocolates too?" Ryan joked "I mean besides, you said it was your treat." The boys headed back towards the cafeteria laughing and saw Troy, Zeke and Jason sitting there, Troy had an icepack held up to his nose, and smiled when he saw Ryan come in.
"Hey look man I'm sorry" Ryan said, coming towards his friend "It's just.."
"Look, I know its all right" Troy said, cutting him off "Just remember next time I hit back" Troy joked.
The boys went into the gift shop looking around, finding teddy bears that said congratulations and balloons that had baby's on them and 'get well soon' written on them.
"What looks good?" Chad asked Ryan who was looking at a card that had a mother holding a baby on the front, Ryan looked at it with tears in his eyes "Ryan you okay?" He tried to ask before Ryan ran out of the room.
"What was that all about?" Jason asked Chad.
"I don't know," Chad said, running after Ryan. Chad chased Ryan to the parking lot "Dude where you going?" he asked as he caught up to him, almost out of breath.
"I need a ride" Ryan huffed, looking for his mom's car "I need to go get something"
"Dude I'm parked right there" Chad said pointing to his car "Why? Dude if its about that card its okay its just a card"
"Its not about the dammed card, I need a ride" Ryan demanded "Will you give me a ride to the mall?" he asked
"Yeah, lets go" Chad answered heading towards his car "Why are we going to the mall?" he asked after they got in and buckled up
"There is something I need to buy that isn't in a gift shop" Ryan said as they drove off.
Outside of Kelsi's room
"What do you mean they just took off?" Sharpay said, not wanting to wake up Kelsi who was fast asleep.
"I don't know, we took Ryan to the gift shop so he could buy Kelsi some flowers, he was looking at some card and he and Chad just took off out of there" Troy rambled. Sharpay got out her cell phone and quickly dialed Ryan's cell phone, but he wasn't picking it up.
"He's not answering" Sharpay said, snapping her phone shut.
"I'll try." Taylor said dialing Chad's phone, who finally picked up.
"Hey Tay." Chad said cheerfully.
"Where are you two?" Taylor scolded.
"We're at the mall, look I can't go into details but could you girls do us a favor?" Chad asked.
"Yeah, what's going on?" Taylor asked, wondering what her boyfriend was up to.
"Ryan wants me to ask you girls to get Kelsi dolled up" Chad said, thinking Ryan was joking.
"Dolled up?" Taylor asked "Why?"
"Like I said can't go into details but just do her hair and make-up if you wouldn't mind" Chad said quickly "Look I gotta go just have her ready in a half an hour" Chad said, hanging up his phone.
"Chad?" Taylor yelled into her phone "Chad?" she yelled again, when he didn't answer she shut her phone and looked over at Gabriella.
"What did he say?" Gabriella asked.
"He said to get Kelsi dolled up that Ryan has a surprise" Taylor smiled to herself, thinking she had an idea of what he meant.
"Dolled up?" Gabriella said flabbergasted "Do any of you have a make-up kit handy?" she asked the girls.
"Who do you think you're asking?" Sharpay said, as she went into her purse and pulled out a mini make-up bag "Now if you'll excuse us gentlemen we have some work to do" she finished closing the door on the boys. They all shrugged at each other and decided to just wait in the waiting room for Chad and Ryan.
Kelsi's Room
Kelsi awoke to the girls standing over her, while it frightened her a bit she was comforted when Sharpay put a hand on her shoulder.
"How was your nap?" She asked.
"It felt good" Kelsi said rubbing her eyes and putting her glasses back on.
"Good, we got a message from Ryan and Chad and they wanted us to do something for you" Sharpay said as she hit the 'call nurse' button.
"Yes Ms. Neilson" the nurse asked.
"Kelsi needs her hair washed can we get a basin and some shampoo?" Sharpay yelled into the intercom.
"What's going on?" Kelsi asked, as she saw her friends getting stuff out of Sharpay's make-up bag.
"We're making you feel better" Sharpay said as the nurse walked in with a basin and some shampoo "Thank you" she said taking the items from her, and shut the door in her face. She placed the basin under Kelsi's head and began to wash her hair. As she finished she took a mini hair dryer and dried off Kelsi's hair and pulled out a barrette and placed it in her hair "Fabulous" she smiled looking at her handy work. The other girls got to work on putting make-up on Kelsi as they finished they stood back and smiled.
"You look great" Martha smiled as she handed Kelsi a compact mirror. Kelsi couldn't argue she did look fabulous she hadn't felt this beautiful since Ryan and she went to New York and she had seen herself in the dress he bought for her and it brought a smile to her face.
"Now that's one satisfied customer" Gabriella joked at Kelsi's smile.
Mall
"Okay Evans, why are we here?" Chad asked as they entered the mall. Ryan didn't answer but headed off into a small jewelry shop "Whoa Ryan you're not going to do what I think you are, are you?"
"I asked her before I left for boot camp and she kinda turned me down, but I'm not taking no for an answer this time" Ryan said smiling at the man behind the counter as he started to look at the selections.
"But Ryan, I mean you guys are young" Chad fumbled out.
"So my parents were still practically teenagers when they got married" Ryan answered
"Yeah but that was, ya know that was then. I mean come on you're leaving back for California in little over a week. What are you two going to do then?" Chad asked.
"We'll figure something out" Ryan said, eyeing a beautiful ring "That's it!" he exclaimed pointing at a ring, it was a simple gold ring with four small diamonds on each side leading up to a 1 carat diamond in the middle.
"That's beautiful man" Chad said, admiring it. Ryan got the shop owners attention and asked for him to pull the ring out.
"Are you sure, young sir?" the owner asked.
"Yep that's it" Ryan said as he admired the ring one more time, putting his credit card on the case in front of them.
"Yes sir" the man said as he sprinted over to the cash register and priced out the ring "Okay here ya go" he said, handing Ryan the receipt to sign. Ryan signed it and handed the man the ring so he could get a box for it "Would you like to gift wrap it sir?" the man asked with a huge smile on his face.
"No thank you" Ryan answered.
"Good luck Mr. Evans" the man said as Ryan took the package and walked out of the store.
"Wow, Evans" Chad said as he took the ring from Ryan and admired it one more time "You think she'll say yes this time?"
"I hope so" Ryan answered, taking the ring back and holding it close to his heart. "Otherwise my short time here would be all for nothing"
Back at Kelsi's room
"Okay, you guys want to tell me what's going on?" Kelsi asked as she looked at her friends who were talking in hushed tones.
"Honey, I know about as much as you do." Taylor smiled, her phone started to ring again and she walked out of the room to answer it. "Hey Chad" she answered.
"Hey Tay, we're almost back we had to stop and get some things" Chad said as they pulled out of the mall parking lot.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Taylor asked, the line went silent for a minute while Chad conferred with Ryan.
"Should I tell her?" Chad asked Ryan.
"I don't see why not" Ryan smiled as Chad put the phone back to his ear.
"Are you with Kelsi right now?" Chad asked.
"No, I'm outside the room right now" Taylor said looking back at the door.
"Well, Ryan plans on proposing" Chad smiled and pulled the phone away from his ear anticipating a high pitched scream from Taylor and wasn't disappointed as he heard her squealing with delight.
"But Chad, I mean will she say yes? Ya know with all that just happened" Taylor said coming to her senses.
"I don't know Tay, we'll just have to find out." Chad said, sobering up to the realization. "Look we're almost there I'll see you in a bit" he said, quickly hanging up.
Taylor headed back into the room an uncertain smile on her face.
"Who was that?" Kelsi asked.
"It was Chad, Ryan and he will be up here in a minute." Taylor said, resuming her seat next to Gabriella who was in the middle of playing Gin against Martha. Kelsi shook her head, her friends were up to something and she wasn't fooled by any of it.
Chad and Ryan pulled up to the hospital and Ryan sat there taking a deep breath almost feeling sick to his stomach.
"You okay?" Chad asked, unbuckling his seat belt.
"I think so" Ryan said, taking a few more deep breaths.
"Come on man, it's now or never." Chad said, handing Ryan another box, and the bouquet of roses they bought at the mall. Ryan gave the ring box one more squeeze and exited the car heading back up to Kelsi. He passed Kelsi's parents and his mom.
"Everything okay, Ducky?" Darby asked, as she saw the nervous look on his face.
"Everything is all right mom" Ryan said "At least I hope it will be" he finished as he walked towards Kelsi's room, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door, Sharpay answered and smiled at her brother.
"She's all yours." she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and walked out of the room.
"Good luck" Taylor smiled, giving him a kiss on his other cheek, and walked out with a very confused Gabriella and Martha following her.
"What's going on?" Gabriella asked Taylor, who just smiled and headed back into the waiting room.
Ryan took off his hat and ran a sweaty palm through his stubble reminding himself that he would soon need a new haircut before he returned to boot camp. He walked into the room, and saw Kelsi sitting on her bed staring out the window. He cleared his throat and noticed her jump slightly.
"Hey baby," he said, smiling putting the stuff on the portable table next to her bed, and gave her a kiss full on the lips but felt her slightly pull back "I'm sorry" he blushed.
"No, no its okay, I'm just ya know" Kelsi said looking down at her hands "Look Ryan" Kelsi started "I want to talk about earlier"
"Me too," Ryan cut her off "I'm sorry about my little freak out, I shouldn't have done that" Ryan said sheepishly "But this isn't easy for either of us and I'm not sure how to deal with it"
"It's just that Ryan, how do we deal with this? I mean I'm not even sure how to deal with what life has given us" Kelsi winced all of a sudden feeling very small.
"Kelsi, all couples have to deal with life's little hiccups and we are not any different, I mean when Sharpay had called me and told me what happened I felt like a piece of me died, and when I found out that not only had something happened to not only you but also our baby I felt like I wanted to go track somebody, anybody down and beat the crap out of them.. Kelsi...this...is well lets just say that this isn't easy for me to say" he smiled "But I know that right now you're scared, and so am I, but I hope that if we can find a way to overcome this, I will be here with you forever. You don't have to say yes and I won't be heartbroken if you don't give me an answer before I leave but I want you to know this, I will spend the rest of my life making sure nobody ever does this to you again. So I know I've asked you this before, so I hope that I can ask you again and you won't shoot me down" Ryan grabbed the small box out of his pocket "Kelsi Marie Neilson, will you marry me?" He asked, opening the box. Kelsi gasped, she had never seen anything more beautiful in her life.
"Ryan, I...I don't know" Kelsi stumbled, thinking Ryan was joking.
"I figured you'd say that so I got you this" Ryan said handing her the second box, Kelsi gave him a sideways glance and opened it up revealing two tickets.
"Ryan?" she asked questioningly.
"They're two open tickets to New York" Ryan smiled at her "Just say the word and I won't return to California, instead I'll go to New York with you"
"I can't let you do that Ryan, I mean you have a duty." Kelsi said, closing the box.
"I also have a duty to you" Ryan said, taking her hand "Kelsi I can't go and leave you again, I wont do it" Ryan said, looking in her eyes. "I want to make sure you're safe every day and know that nothing ever bad will happen to you"
"I don't know Ryan" Kelsi sighed almost wanting to leave the room but fought the urge. "I mean can't you get in trouble for not going back, you know AWOL?"
"Well then we'll have to do deal with that when it comes" Ryan said, "so what's your answer?"
Kelsi wasn't sure, she knew she didn't want Ryan to leave but she knew she also didn't want Ryan to get in trouble and another piece of her wasn't even sure that she wanted to be with Ryan. All of her doubts and fears crept up inside of her and she felt like screaming.
"Ryan, I want to marry you don't doubt that, but I can't let you leave your other obligations" Kelsi sighed.
"I don't care about those other things, I only care about you" Ryan kissed her hand. Kelsi took a deep breath and looked at the tickets in her hand again. She wanted to be with Ryan forever, but her heart wasn't sure, after all that had happened would she really ever be happy with him, could she make a vow to stay with him in sickness and health? She took a deep breath looked in him in the eyes. She could only do this if he at least finished his duties in California.
"Ryan, I will marry you" Ryan practically leaped up in the air and slid the ring on her finger "But only if you promise me that you will go back to California and finish what you started" Kelsi said sternly.
"Are you sure?" he asked cautiously. "I mean I would rather be here with you"
"I know Ryan but I have the others here with me and they won't let me go to the bathroom without one or two of them following me. I don't think I have any problem with not having any protection" Kelsi laughed lightly.
"Oh! I almost forgot" Ryan said, grabbing the bouquet of roses "These are for you" he said, handing them to her. She inhaled deeply the scent and smiled.
"They're wonderful Ryan" she said, taking his hand.
Ryan sat down in the chair next to her bed and laid his head down on her shoulder, as Kelsi continued to stare at the ring on her finger wondering if she'd ever be able to make Ryan feel happy or if she'd ever be a good enough wife for him. The fears ran rampant through her mind as she closed her eyes and slowly let sleep find her again as she tried to quell her fears.
Is Kelsi really ready to marry Ryan, or did she just agree to it in fear of being alone?