I'd like to take this time to thank you all for sticking with me. Thank you for the reviews, and I would like to exclaim that I'm very happy that you guys liked this story. Of course, it's a little better than my last story. Well that was just a romance one LOL, but I wanted to see if I could do it. Write something that didn't have any dark themes. Can you believe I wrote one of those? LOL If you would like to read my little romance story it's called Ghost Town. It's a Cardcaptor Sakura fanfic. It still amuses me. There might be a sequel to this somewhere down the lines. You might have to give me a couple months. Working in retailing, I'm entering into the most deadly few months alive. If I live through this it'll be my sixth year doing the change from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas to Valentines to Easter. LOL At least there's a couple months breather between Valentines and Easter. If I have time I'll write the sequel around Christmas time and have it Christmas based. Well the beginning that is. OHHHH the plots are starting already. I'm stopping there. And yes I did watch my new season of Kyo Kara Maoh, so I'm done with that LOL I only missed a few episodes. Took me one and a half days to catch up. Oh wow I'm done talking before this becomes the whole chapter. Obviously I'm lonely LOL. Onward!

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Chapter Ten

I could hardly believe that a year pasted since Yuki brought me back to Japan. It was an extremely hard year, and I can't forgive myself for what I put my friends through and especially Yuki. I slid the door open leading to his balcony. I was surprised that he still let me stay here, considering all that I've put him through. The depression state where I didn't want to eat, sleep, or talk to anyone. It took two doctors, one monitoring my food and the other monitoring my thoughts, to get me back on my feet. I sighed as I stared out at the sunset. Yuki wasn't home again. This is the third night in the row that he'd disappear and wouldn't return until the morning. I put my head down on the rallying. He probably found someone else. Someone that would allow him to touch them.

A tear slipped down my cheek, remembering the second week I was home. All the horrible things I said to him, and all he did was let me vent. It was like he knew all the emotions I was going to go through and had devised a plan to handle every single one of them. For my depressed states, he left me alone and drove me without question to and from the doctors' offices. The anger states were handled with a little bit of care, and he never let me hurt myself. He let me lash out and hit things, but not once did I ever hit him. I knew nothing was his fault.

I glanced back at the couch where my pillow and blanket sat ready for another night. It's been a whole three years since him and I done anything romantic, or I should say even touched each other that way. I shuddered as I wrapped my night robe around me tighter. I wondered if I should feel happy if he found someone or maybe I should be angry. Slipping down to the cold ground, I held tightly onto my legs. Maybe it was time for me to move out of his life and allow him to find someone new. I was damaged and who knows when I'll ever be able to think about sex ever again.

Every time I would think about the nights Yuki and I spent together, I would get interrupted with those countless nights of torture. I didn't want to get Yuki's hopes up and start kissing him or touching him, and then have something vile creep into my mind and ruin the whole thing. That wouldn't be fair to him, nor is it fair to keep him waiting. "Shuichi, what are you doing out here?" I heard Yuki whisper to me.

Glancing up at him, I got the notation that it was a dream out of my mind before I answered him. "Thinking. I was just about to come in." Getting up, I walked over to the couch and sat down. I could feel Yuki's eyes following me. I don't understand why he was home tonight. "Not doing anything tonight?"

He shook his head as he lit a cigarette. "Are you really okay?" he asked out of nowhere.

"I'm fine." I glanced down at my feet before coming to a decision. "Yuki," I softly spoke. "I would understand if you had someone else and wished to continue that relationship with that person. I'm not the best lover you could have right about now. I'm not the same anymore. I'll never be the same person I once was. I've caused you so much trouble over the last three years. I'm sorry. I've already made arrangements to get an apartment if you chose to pursue this new lover."

"Shuichi."

"I mean you don't have to worry about me. Bad Luck is having its comeback tour starting in a month and the new CD will be reaching stores next week. I'll have plenty of things to keep me occupied so they're be no reason for you to keep me around out of guilt or pity. If you love someone else, I wish you best of luck. I'm happy for you."

"Shuichi," he said more firmly this time than the last so I couldn't just pretend like I didn't hear him. He walked over and knelt down in front of me. I could feel his warmth wash over me. The hint of tobacco still lingered around him. I still couldn't force my eyes up into him. I didn't want to see hurt in them or anger. But must of all, I was afraid I would see relief shining through those beautiful golden irises. His soft finger ran down my cheek before stopping under my chin and pushing my face up so I could meet his eyes. I wanted to avert my gaze, but he kept me looking at him.

His eyes reflect nothing that I feared they would. In fact, love was spilling from them. He closed his eyes as the distances between us dissipated. His lips felt warm and familiar. A sensation I missed for so long. His hand dropped and traced invisible designs on my arms. All the vibrations were clashing into one, and I felt like Yuki was forcing the old me back inside. My body moved on its own as if listening to a song it memorized long ago. My arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close to me, keeping our lips together, breaking only for an instant to breath before sealing back again.

Before I knew it, my legs were spread, and he was leaning closer to me, deepening our kiss. Every doubt I had vanished. I knew he loved me. I knew he was patiently waiting for me, but what he was doing those past few nights still bothered me, but that was slowly being pushed aside, allowing my love to flow back. Suddenly reality snuck back in, and I pushed him away, keeping my hands firmly on his shoulders. "W-wait. I'm…"

"If you tell me you're dirty, broken, or not worthy of me, I swear I'll smack you. You are worth more than anything in my life. You may say your not the same, but that's okay. You're still Shuichi. A much more calmer Shuichi, but still him. You haven't changed much. I can still see the old you fighting to take back control. Let him out, Shuichi. Don't be afraid of the outcome. I've been right with you through every one of your emotions. Now is the time to let that love out. My love for you I never doubted. It was the love you held for me that left me afraid to ask."

"Oh, Yuki," I breathed as I pulled him back to me. "Don't doubt my love for you. I was willing to throw away my heart if you had someone else."

"No there is no one, but you Shuichi."

"You sound like one of your romance characters," I snickered for the first time in a long time. It felt great to laugh, so great that I couldn't stop. Yuki smiled at me, and I knew that everything was going to be okay. I pulled him into another kiss as I wrapped my arms and legs around him. Something just felt so perfect tonight. It felt like I had enough courage to finally let him replace all those terrible memories with one special, loving memory.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked as I suck gently on his neck. I could feel the shivers running down his body, and he started to react. I knew that if I told him no he would stop. It would be horrible for him, but I know he would. I bit down on his neck and suck to the point where it made a mark on his pale skin. He growled and picked me up, walking us into his bedroom. I twirl my tongue around the mark and slowly up to his ear. He quickly threw me down on the bed and held his hand over his ear. I chuckled and slid myself up to the headboard. "You think that's funny, huh? First you give me a hickie and then you attack my ear. Well looks like you're stuck with me until that damn hickie goes away. You damn brat."

It felt great seeing him back to normal. Calling me "damn brat." Those golden eyes held so many unspoken words. I stretched my legs and held the tip of my finger against my lower lip. "Oh is that a threat?" I reached up and put my hands on the top of the headboard as I spread my legs. "What will I do with so much time with you?"

Yuki smirked. "I could think of a few things. Only if you are willing." He slid up in-between my legs and kissed me.

"I'm all yours." I reached down and slowly slid his shirt up and threw it on the floor. My hands glided across his chest. It felt wonderfully soft and warm. I slowly explored his body, familiarizing myself with ever curve and bump on his torso. He let me take it slow. His lips moved along my shoulders not caring about removing anymore of our clothes than what I was comfortable with. I won't lie and say that lust took over, and it was nothing but a pleasurable night, but in fact, my heart was beating rapidly. I was afraid of the scars he would see and what he would say about them.

Deciding that this was getting as now where, I dropped my arms down to my own shirt and slowly slipped it up. He didn't hesitate or back away from me in any disgusted manner. His lips grazed around the scars, and I closed my eyes. The sensations that were running through my body was wonderful. Suddenly my pants felt very tight and very uncomfortable. Whining in-between kisses, I moved my hands down to remove my pants. Yuki put his hands over mine and slowly mimic me. A few seconds later, neither one of us had any clothes.

My skin felt hot against him. I wanted him more than I wanted anything. Everything felt normal, felt like it used to be. He reached into the drawer for the lube and squeezed some on his fingers. Smoothing them together, he slid his other hand down to my member and gliding his fingers up and down it. I moaned as I stared at his eyes. We held a silent conversation as he slipped on finger inside of me. It didn't hurt like all the others, and I knew that would happen. My body continued to respond to his talented his hands.

His finger slid in and out of me before he added another and another, slowly stretching me, being very cautious not to hurt me. He removed his fingers as I moaned deeply. He glided his fingers over my skin, causing goosebumps along its path. I smiled and nodded my head. He positioned himself and slowed eased his way into him. I hissed slightly. No matter how many times I've done this, it still stung for the first couple of seconds.

He waited patiently until my body relaxed and accepted him. Slow and steady he picked his rhythm. Taking it agonizingly slowly, I arched my back and flipped him over so I was sitting on top of him. I smirked as I moved my hips up and down off him at a much faster pace. My eyes fluttered closed as my body felt every move and enjoyed every second.

Suddenly, I found myself under him again, and he was thrusting inside of me at a pleasurable pace. We panted and moaned, climbing to our end quickly. He moved his hand off my hip and in-between us as he slowly stroked me in time with each of this thrusts. An eternity later we reached our climax together. Breathing rapidly, I waited for my mind to come off its high. Yuki pulled out of me and lied down next to me. Pulling me close to him, Yuki held me. "Thank you," I whispered. Yuki smiled and kissed me on my cheek. Now everything felt perfect. Curiosity overcame me as I sat slightly up to look at Yuki. "Where have you been going those past few nights?"

"Debating on whether I should bring this home with me or take it back to the shop," he said as he reached down for his pants. Slipping out a small box, my breath stopped. "I know we can't legally do this, but no one ever said we couldn't pledge it. Shuichi Shindo," he said, kneeling on the bed. "Will you be mine forever." Tears streamed down my cheeks as I nodded my head. He took my hand and slowly slipped the ring on my finger. I reached into the box for the other ring, doing the same with him. We held hands for a few seconds before I lied down next to him. A step in the right direction. He lied down next to me and held me close as we drifted slowly to sleep. I was happy.

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The end! I hope you liked that last chapter I really really do. Remember keep an eye out hopefully around Christmas time I'll come out with the sequel. Thank you all again for staying with me. I enjoyed reading the reviews I got, and I'm very pleased I hooked a few people. Thank you one more time.

Angel Dove