Disclaimer: I am not Cassandra Clare.

A/N: Hey guys, me again. I am on a roll!

Just to those who were wondering, I am Australian, so well done to 4everness, Ravenclaw-Shadowhunter-Fae, and WeArentLost-Yet who guessed right and got the sneak peak as a reward.

Thank you to:

Cazzie1128, Missy 63,vivianpr07, sadie1900 and clar124 for following,

Cazzie1128 and Missy 63 for favouriting

And reppinda5o3, cecilos, 4everness, Flora. Silverthrush, WeArentLost-Yet, Ravenclaw-Shadowhunter-Fae, Guest, Huntergirl117, ROXN and Midnight. walker. 22 for reviewing, you wonderful, darling cucumbers.

I do feel kind of bad that I left on a cliff-hanger, but at the same time, I was called evil which for a bizarre reason made me grin like a cat with cream so that was worth it I suppose. Anyway, cliff-hanger will be un-cliff-hanger-ed in this chapter so yay!

Anyway, I'll let you at it, so enjoy, have fun, say hi, REVIEWW!

Clary's POV

I stare at the screen for about two minutes without blinking. I am honestly scared by what I see there, not entirely sure what I should do.

Ever since I sent that e-mail to my brother, I have been dreading his reply. Have you ever said something when you were angry that you instantly regretted as soon as you said it? Yeah, well, that's precisely what happened to me.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and open the e-mail from my brother.

From: Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern
Subject: I'm sorry
Date: 4 December, 2015 8:37
To: Clarissa Morgenstern

Baby sis,

I'm sorry it took so long to reply.

I'm sorry about your fingers and your wrists and your arm and your shoulders and your collarbones and your ribs and your pelvis and your hip and your knees and your scalp and your cheekbone and your lung and everything else.

I do remember the promise I made and I'm so sorry I didn't keep it. I'm sorry I made you suffer. I'm sorry I made you cry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I didn't save you. I'm sorry I abandoned you. I'm sorry you weren't at my wedding.

I'm sorry I let Dad hurt you.

Clary, you don't know how hard I tried to get enough for both of us. You don't know how many times I tried to get to you.

I tried, I really did, but then when everything started getting good and everything, I convinced myself that as soon as I was properly settled, I would jump in the car and come for you. But then I kept on convincing myself that I would do it tomorrow, then tomorrow's kept turning into more tomorrow's and soon, I had completely lost track of it all.

I've been thinking about this since I got your e-mail and I think I know why now: I'm selfish Clary. I always have been, you know that. My life is so good now, so perfect, and I didn't want a reminder of how shitty it had been. I didn't want a reminder of the time my life seemed like a prison.

So I chose myself over you. And I'm so sorry Clary.

I'm so, so sorry.

Love always and a thousand sorry's.

Jon

I stare at the screen for another few seconds, before I slam the screen down and drop my laptop next to my bed.

Then I turn my face to the wall and cry myself to sleep.

Jace's POV

I slam the brakes on in Alec's Honda, parking badly on the side of the street outside Dad's apartment complex. I open the door quickly, slam the door closed and march towards the door, pressing the number for Dad's apartment without a second's thought.

"Who is it?" Dad's voice comes through the speaker sounding exhausted and vaguely irritated.

"Hi Dad." I reply, trying to make sure he doesn't hear the unbridled rage in my voice.

"Oh, Jace, hi, come on up." He buzzes me in and I open the door, deciding to take the stairs instead of the lift.

Stupidly, I didn't actually think of anything to say on the ride over, too focused instead of keeping my anger under control. I don't think I have ever been this furious. I don't necessarily see red but I want to. Preferably blood red, trickling from the nose of my conceited, arrogant, self-righteous, bigoted, racist, homophobic, hypocritical, cheating prick of a father.

I bang on the door louder than I should and Dad answers the door looking concerned.

"Everything okay?" He asks instead of saying hello. I shrug past him and turn to face him as he closes the door.

"Mum told us about the divorce." I tell him point blank. Dad raises his eyebrows in surprise and runs his hand over his jaw.

"I thought we were going to tell you together." He mutters to himself. "I guess you have some questions?" He asks me.

"Just one," I reply. "How the fuck can you live with yourself you cheating son of a bitch?" Again, my father raises his eyebrows in surprise, but then his shoulders slump in defeat.

"So Maryse told you?"

"Of course she did. I can get top secrets out of James frigging Bond. How could you do that to my mother?" I demand.

"Look, Jace, the thing is: your mother and I have been drifting apart for a long time and… there are a lot of factors-"

"Oh, fuck. Off! There is only one factor- you cheated on my mother! You fucked up Dad! Don't you dare try to worm yourself out of this one!"

"I admit, I made a mistake, but-"

"No, you self-serving piece of rat filth, there is no 'but'! There are some things you just do not do! You do not kick puppies. You do not steal a jacket from a homeless person. You do not give drugs to orphans. You do not cheat on your wife!"

"Jace, calm down, please-"

"What, you don't like someone pointing out how much of a bastard you are? Well build a bridge and get the fuck over it! Because I didn't drive for an hour in traffic to calmly discuss this over tea and scones!" At this point, I am right in his face and my father, who used to terrify me, suddenly looks very small. "Let me give you some advice Dad: Do not call the house, do not come to the house, do not contact me or my siblings unless they give you written consent and do not think for a single second that any of us will be living with you after what you did."

"Jace, I think you're going a bit far-" And before I can think, my fist is flying.

It connects with his face with an awful snap and pain lances through my knuckles, hand and arm as my father falls to the floor.

"That's your only warning, old man. My family is not yours anymore."

Stepping over the pained body of my father, I open the front door and slam it closed, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my chest when my father officially stopped being a part of my life.

Clary's POV

"Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Eh, slightly wrong. That's alright. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong! That's so wrong it's literally painful. Oh, here we go." Finally deciding that at least one artist on my playlist is tolerable, Jace clicks on it and starts to listen, bobbing his head along with the music. "I can't believe you have Hannah Montana on your iPhone."

"It's Miley Cyrus." I inform him, crossing my arms over my chest in annoyance. "And she writes good lyrics." Jace grins mockingly, still listening to my music. "Shut up."

As we sit on the bench waiting for everyone else to turn up for lunch, we share headphones and compare music. Thus far, about eighty percent of my music 'sucks', ten percent is 'barely tolerable' and the last ten percent is 'actually surprisingly good'.

I scroll through his artists, feeling annoyingly disheartened because most of his songs and artists are actually pretty great. But then, on the second scroll when I'm actually paying attention, I strike gold.

"'Disney's Greatest Hits'?" I ask casually, and smirk when I notice Jace freezing, his eyes widening in mortification. "'Disney's Greatest Hits- Volume 2'? 'Disney's Greatest Hits- 2015'?" Finally, his eyes snap closed.

"Please just leave it like it's totally normal for a seventeen year old guy to have Disney on his iPod."

"Oh no, I most definitely will not." I chuckle as I click on the Disney file. "Hmm, let's see… The Little Mermaid, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast... hmm… This will take some thinking about."

"Clary… please don't tell Will."

My head still directed towards the iPod screen, I move my eyes so that I can see Jace's face. His golden eyes are lost and pleading, his mouth turned down at the corners. My smirk stretches wider and I make absolutely no promises.

I lock his screen so I can open it as soon as I see people so I get some revenge on him calling my stockpile of One Direction 'the breakdown of civilised society as we know it.' Despite the fact that I may agree with him to a certain extent, it was too far.

Thinking- foolishly- that I have forgotten his Disney playlist, he continues listening to my music, his head bobbing, his golden hair falling into his eyes. It's distracting.

It's at moments like this when Jace is so attractive it's kind of annoying. When he was created, did the universe just decide to give him all the attractiveness of seven people and think 'yeah, that's about right.'? Because if that's the case, screw the universe. It's unfair.

It's unfair to the children- for reasons I'll come up with later- think of the children!

Finally, after scouting the school yard, I spot the perfect people coming towards us: Will, Gideon, Magnus and Maia.

Standing up and running towards them, I start yelling immediately: "Jace has Disney on his iPod! Jace has Disney on his iPod!"

Hearing that proclamation, Jace instantly stands and sprints towards me, holding my arms by my side while trying to cover my mouth.

"She's delusional! Don't listen to her!"

I pull his hand away quickly and break free; staring at him with what I instinctively know is a terrified expression. Not noticing, Will takes Jace's iPod from my hand and opens it, laughing as he looks at the playlist I left on there.

"Oh God Jace, seriously?! Sweet Jesus, you have Frozen on here!" Will proclaims while I try to calm my breathing.

'He's not going to hurt you.' I tell myself silently. 'He's not going to hurt you.'

"I didn't put it on there! It was Max." Jace argues, sounding defensive.

'He's not going to hurt you. He's not going to hurt you.'

"Oh sure, blame your kid brother." Gideon piles on. "But see, I know for a fact that Max hates Frozen. Hates it. So… that argument just flew out the window. Try again."

'He's not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you.'

"Okay, maybe it wasn't Max. Maybe it was Isabelle." Jace tries to justify.

'Calm down, Clary. You're safe.'

"Either way, you have Disney on your iPod. You know what that means." Someone says.

'For the love of God, Clary, calm down. They're going to notice.'

"That means a round of karaoke. If you're good, we'll shut up. If not, mocking for life."

'Please calm down, you can't do this here.'

"Clary?" "Clary?" "Hey Bluey, what's wrong?"

'They're noticing! Snap out of it Clary!'

And then I feel a hand on my shoulder, fingers running through mine, a finger pushing my chin up and green eyes connecting with my own. I see a moving, purple-painted mouth but don't process it, hear strange sounds coming from it and know somehow that it means something, but I can't figure it out.

'Think Clary, think!'

"Clary, listen to me." Something finally penetrates, and I know that voice.

'That's it, Clary, focus. Breathe.'

"Clary, look at me. Look at me." And finally, finally, I'm back, and I can breathe and I know it's Magnus- Magnus who has never hurt me, who has never laughed at me, who has always been good to me. Magnus who helps me, who laughs with me, who talks to me. Magnus who gave me a phone to protect myself.

My friend, Magnus.

"Clary, come on, we'll go sit somewhere, come on." He coaxes gently and I am fascinated by the way his shiny lips move, how soft his voice is. Magnus has a nice voice. Why didn't I notice it before?

"Magnus?" I ask- half of a question I don't know how to finish.

"Yeah Biscuit, it's me. Come on." I feel tugging on my fingers and follow after the pull, feeling Magnus settle an arm around my shoulder.

Good Magnus. Friend Magnus. Magnus won't hurt me. I'm safe with Magnus.

Just as we go to pass Jace- who is standing open mouthed like a fish staring at me- Magnus stops us and glares right at him, looking intimidating and I have to remind myself again that Magnus won't hurt me.

"You do not touch my Biscuit without permission. Am I clear this time?" He growls, and I know that I shouldn't giggle but I want to- Magnus called me 'Biscuit'. I'm not a biscuit.

Slowly, very slowly, Jace nods, still staring at me, but Magnus leads me away so I can't look at his pretty face. It makes me sad.

Jace's POV

I stare after Clary and Magnus as they walk away, Magnus whispering in Clary's ear while she keeps her head down.

I am confused. I don't understand what happened. One minute, she seemed fine, laughing at me about my Disney songs, then the next she was small and muttering to herself, not responding when all of us called out to her.

Clary confuses me. Sometimes, she seems confident and sure of herself; sometimes she's panicking so severely she doesn't even register voices. She doesn't like people touching her, but she doesn't seem to panic when I grab her hand or touch her shoulder. I can't keep up with her.

"I honestly don't know what happened." I say out loud, hoping someone here can explain it to me. Looking over at Gideon, Will and Maia, I see all three of them looking sad and uncomfortable.

"Clary is a very complicated girl." Gideon starts.

"She kind of has a touch phobia." Maia adds. "Not about germs or anything but she doesn't like being hugged or held. I think she feels swamped or suffocated, like claustrophobia. Normally, she only allows you to hug her if you ask. Or if you're Simon or Magnus."

"Plus she's very guarded in what she says. She's normally very quiet. She kind of just… watches." Gideon agrees.

"She was okay until a few years ago when her brother left town. She's been getting steadily worse since then though, all of us have noticed. And she's not allowed out or to have friends over on weekends so she's kind of stuck wandering inside her own head. And she was very close with her brother so I think she's lost the emotional connection and kind of… shut down."

"Okay." I reply. "But what exactly was that?"

"Clary has anxiety attacks, and then she has panic attacks- two very different things in Clary's case. Anxiety attacks are easy to deal with, she just has to breathe and she'll be fine. With panic attacks, she kind of retreats into herself so far it's like she turns into a different person. It's like she goes from being Clary at age seventeen to Clary at age eight."

"So that was a panic attack?"

"Yeah." Maia sighs and sits down, starting to eat her lunch. "You get used to it. Normally Simon or Magnus can get her to come back. She just needs time."

I stand in silence for a while, staring in the direction Clary and Magnus walked in, wanting to know if she's okay. I have an idea that she will not be okay, and the thought fills me with a sudden and unexpected urge- no need- to go to her and look after her, protect her, make her smile again.

"Jace." I hear Will say and I turn towards him. "Trust me: leave it alone for now."

I think about what he said for about two minutes before deciding to follow his advice. I don't want to, but I have a feeling that going near Clary right now will just make things worse.

A/N: So thoughts? Somebody asked for more Clace so that had a bit of Clace in there, but next chapter should have a lot more. Please leave a review and let me know what you think, I'm sure there are things I need to work on.

Anyway, I'll let you go.

Have fun, say hi, REVIEWW! Please?

Love Stormy. xoxox