Disclaimer: The few characters that you don't recognize belong to me and all the rest come from the mind of the talented Ms. Rowling.
Author's Notes: I apologize if any words in the quote below from the movie Gangster No. 1 (how I love Paul Bettany) are wrong. I just bought the dvd yesterday and Bettany's performance inspired me to write the long awaited scene you'll have at the end of this chapter. The movie wasn't accompanied with subtitles so I just wrote by ear.
Wow, you're all amazing. Thanks for all of the reviews, they were wonderful. They actually forced me to get this chapter out sooner. So I thank you all for the inspiration. Alright, so the scene at the end is my first attempt at such an act and I hope that it's not cheesy, or childish or half hearted. I don't want to spoil anything so I'm going to leave you all to it.
And you Mr. Freddie Maze,
You have the girl swimming in your eyes,
Dancing in her hair.
You'll have to slip into her mouth,
Slide over her tongue,
Fall down her throat.
Deep down into her belly,
Right into her blood
Where you'll fall asleep
Wrapped around her beautiful,
beating heart
- Gangster No. 1
Harry was jolted awake. His hand fumbled for his glasses. Grasping them with a sleepy groan of success he rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes and placed his glasses on. He blinked. Rows of bookshelves greeted him. Not sure if he was trapped in a dream or a nightmare, Harry stretched and pushed himself up off the tiny chair which poorly served as his bed. A crack of sunlight poured through the volumes of books that filled the shelves, and the events of last night exploded through his memory. He turned the corner and blinked when the early morning sun hit his eyes. A blanket of snow covered the ground, and he looked up at the clear sky. A good day for flying. He thought wistfully.
A fearful whimper reached his ear and his head snapped to the right in the direction of the sound. He trotted up to the banister over looking the first floor of the room. On the couch, curled into a foetal position, fists clenched, lay Hermione. Her eyes squeezed shut and her brow was furrowed. Concerned, Harry made his way down the winding staircase to the couch. The fire had long since died out and the food and stray cups and glasses from last night had been cleared, but Harry brushed aside all amazement for Dobby's efficiency and concentrated on the girl before him. She shuddered violently for a moment and her face screwed up.
"It won't happen. I won't let you do it. I don't care," she murmured in a fitful sleep and Harry placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to gently shake her awake. He called out her name. She buried her face in her fists and shook her head more vigorously as she replied with a fiercely whispered, "No."
Now clearly worried, Harry repeated her name louder and shook her harder until with a gasp, her eyes flew open. He watched the confusion cloud her features as she struggled to focus.
"Harry?" she said as she looked up at him quizzically.
"Yeah. Yeah it's me. You were just having a nightmare. You're awake now."
Hermione nodded and blinked a few times as she looked around.
"We're still here?"
He looked at her sheepishly, "Yeah, er, I meant to wake you up earlier so you can have a proper sleep in your dorm, but I guess I fell asleep too."
She nodded and sat up. "What time is it?" she said running her hands through her hair.
Harry looked at his watch (he had finally remembered to replace his old one) and he swallowed a yawn.
"It's seven thirty."
"Alright."
She stood and he followed her to the door, pausing when she stopped in the doorway for one last look around. Her gaze fell on his and with a shy smile she said, "Thanks for this, Harry. Really. It was fantastic."
"Yeah, no problem," he answered and wondered at the same time if she remembered what he had said to her last night. Knowing Hermione, she was probably at the moment running through the entire night in her head as they now walked down the hall. They didn't bother to put on the invisibility cloak.
It was a comfortable silence that hovered over them, while they walked through the deserted corridors. Harry was left to his thoughts so it came as a surprise when Hermione had abruptly stopped before a door on his left.
"Well," she said. "I'll just use the prefects' baths. I'll see you in the Great Hall?"
"Er, yeah," Harry answered and saying the password, she disappeared behind the door leaving Harry standing alone in the hall.
"I'm an idiot," Harry muttered as he stared mournfully at his breakfast.
"You told her? Are off your end?" Ron said.
They were sitting at the nearly empty Gryffindor table. The moment Harry had stepped into the boys dormitories, he had debated on whether to drown himself in the shower or to ask Ron to smother him. Ron had told him to leave it until after breakfast.
"Well, I wasn't really thinking at the moment, was I?" Harry said with a glare in Ron's direction.
Ron nodded a hello to a semi-conscious Neville who took a seat a bit further down the table and buried himself in a book.
"Little too late to take anything back now, mate."
"I don't want to take anything back."
"Then why are you complaining?" Ron asked.
"Dunno. Feel like it I suppose." Harry said as he continued to have a staring contest with his breakfast.
He wondered if he was winning.
"Listen, on the bright side you've got nothing to hide from her now, right? And it's now all on her to decide if she wants to accept your confession or chuck it."
"Nicely put."
"Anytime, mate. Now eat up before it gets cold."
"Not hungry," Harry mumbled.
"Well that doesn't matter now, does it? Gotta be charged for the game tonight, right?"
Harry gave Ron a confused look.
"Game? What ga- oh, sodding hell. I completely forgot."
"Forgot what?" Ginny said seating herself beside Harry.
"I cannot believe you forgot about the game!" Ron said after scarfing down his eggs.
"Must have other things on your mind, eh Harry?" Ginny asked him with a smug smile and his eyes narrowed.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
She began to butter her toast. "Oh, nothing."
Ron eyed her from across the table. "Why're you so cheery this morning?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Ron. Can't I make a simple comment? Anyway, where do you plan on taking her today?"
"What are you going on about?" Ron asked her.
"Don't tell me you forgot about your date with Luna."
His ears burned at this comment and he answered, hotly, " 'Course not. I was thinking of taking her to Zonko's, Honeydukes then the Three Broomsticks."
Ginny looked scandalized.
"You cannot be serious."
"What? What's wrong with that?"
"What's wrong with what?" Hermione asked taking a seat beside Ron.
Harry caught her eye and she smiled shyly at him before turning to look at Ron questioningly.
Before Ron could utter a word, Ginny said, "Ron's planning on taking Luna to shops for their date today."
Hermione 'tsked' and shook her head as she reached for the bread.
"What? What's wrong with shops? And it's not just shops. We're going to the Three Broomsticks after," Ron said defensively.
Hermione only nodded as if listening to a three year old boy tell a tale about climbing a tree. Ron looked at Harry helplessly, but Harry only shrugged.
"Don't you want to think of something a bit more, oh I don't know, romantic?" Ginny asked.
Hermione hid her smile behind her hand and Harry looked at her curiously. She only glanced at him innocently before taking a sip of her pumpkin juice and saying, "Really, Ron. It is your first date after all."
Looking extremely disconcerted, Ron opened his mouth and closed it again, looking at Harry for help. Moments later Ginny laughed and Hermione grinned, placing a hand on Ron's arm. "We're only joking, Ron. I'm sure Luna will have a wonderful time," she apologized.
"Right," Ron said distractedly and Harry knew that he was now going through his head the few romantic places that Hogsmead had to offer.
"It'll be fine," Harry assured, though Ron didn't look the least bit consoled. Ginny's eyes lingered at a spot behind Harry and in a few gulps, she finished her pumpkin juice and gathered her things.
"Lighten up, big brother," she said, standing and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "She fancies you. No matter what, she'll have a great time." Ruffling his hair and laughing at his indignant look, she left the room.
"She's right, you know," Hermione said and Ron nodded. Silence settled upon them for a moment and the chattering of the students slowly filling the Great Hall surrounded them.
"I talked to Professor Flitwick last night," Ron said suddenly.
"When?" Hermione asked.
"It was a bit after you two left. I waited to tell you but you guys never came back."
At this Hermione flushed, avoiding Harry's eyes and said, "We lost track of time and fell asleep."
Ron glanced at Harry while Hermione was busy eating. Harry narrowed his eyes at him and Ron stifled his grin.
"Well, anyway, he didn't really tell me much, but that there were at least two people who managed to come in here, and they think that it's the same two people who've been sneaking into the castle these past few months."
Harry nodded. "Well they can't apparate or use a portkey, and it's not like anyone is gonna just let two death eaters stroll in. So how d'you think they managed to get in unseen?"
"Invisibility cloak?" Ron asked.
Hermione shook her head. "No, remember what happened to us when we tried to walk around under that thing? These are two grown men, possibly your height, maybe even taller. And they would also have to move fairly quickly."
"What about a polyjuice? Crouch got in with that," Harry remarked with a grimace.
This time it was Ron's turn to shake his head. "Won't work, mate. These were trained wizards. They knew what they were doing and their bodies were equipped for stealth and speed. One probably was used for muscle if trouble came. Either way, running around in a body like Snape's or Wellington's wouldn't do for that type of work."
Elusive and fast. Harry chewed thoughtfully as he contemplated what human can possibly accomplish that. His head shot up.
"Sirius."
"What?" Ron looked at Harry in confusion.
Hermione blinked up at him but in seconds her face lit up. "Harry! You're brilliant! In his animagus form, Sirius was the only one who has managed to get into and through the castle undetected."
"So, what, we search for any animal that doesn't belong?" Ron asked.
"That's the problem. They could be anything and anywhere and if they don't want to be seen, they won't," Hermione said.
"And they're too careful to leave anything behind. So where does that leave us?" Ron asked.
Hermione picked at her food and said, "I don't know."
There was a moment of silence until Hermione turned to Harry and asked, "You said that Petra was taken after Christmas break?"
"Yeah, why?"
Hermione stood.
"Where are you going?" Ron asked.
"Where else? I'll see you two in the common room."
She was in the Restricted Section. She held a sheet of parchment in her hands and in it was scrawled four titles. Three were scratched out.
"Need any help?" a voice said and Hermione looked to her right to find a girl who's name she couldn't remember standing beside her.
"No, I'm fine thank you," she said and continued to scan the shelf. Where is it?
"This for school?" the girl asked.
"Yes," Hermione lied.
"Why don't you ask for help?" the girl said.
"Because I don't need any," Hermione said firmly.
"Well," the girl said, not taking the hint and stepping forward. "looks to me like you do."
Hermione grit her teeth in annoyance and turned to the girl. She looked to be no more than fourteen years old and Hermione puffed out her chest, Head Girl badge shining.
"Do you have a pass to be in here? This is the Restricted Section."
The girl grinned in answer, not seeming fazed by the look Hermione was giving her or the badge that was pinned to her robes. She held out a scrap of parchment with Professor Snape's signature scratched on it. Annoyed at the slip in the girl's hand, Hermione huffed and said, "Well, did you find what you needed?"
"No. And you won't either."
Hermione blinked. "Excuse me?"
The girl flushed. "I saw the title on your parchment and thought you needed a hand so I looked and, no luck," she finished sheepishly.
Hermione didn't know if she should feel insulted or thankful. "Well, thank you but I think I'll have another look around," she said and the girl nodded in answer.
"Suit yourself." She held out her hand, "I'm Eran Lot, by the way."
"Hermione Granger."
They shook hands.
"Good luck with the book, and try Madame Pince if you come empty handed. Wouldn't hurt," Eran said with a wave and walked out of the library. Much later, face set, and tugging at the chain of her necklace, Hermione exited empty handed.
"They took a book." Hermione said as the three of them walked to the place where Ron was supposed to meet Luna.
"What?"
"They took a book. I looked for it and asked Madame Pince. She said that it's been missing since Christmas."
"What would they want with a book?"
"This wasn't any ordinary book, Ron. It was taken from the Restricted Section."
"Then doesn't Dumbledore know?"
"Yes, but Madame Pomfrey said that it wasn't stolen. It was lost. She said a student from Slytherin had taken it."
"Malfoy," Ron said darkly.
"Ron, don't start. She didn't say it was Malfoy."
"Then who?" Harry asked.
"Well, actually she told me that it was none of my business as to who had borrowed the item."
"Malfoy."
"Ron!"
"What book was this?" Harry asked.
"It had to do with Dream Walking."
When the boys looked at her in confusion she said, "Listen. All of the girls that were taken are between the ages of eleven and fourteen right? And those are the ages needed for it to work. So far he's taken five and he needs seven plus the power source. So that's eight."
"Wait. Are you saying that You-Know-Who is attempting to Dream Walk?"
He already has.
"Yes. In order to do so he needs blood, inheritance and a token. The latter must be connected to the victim and the formers to the Brotherhood."
"So you're saying that You-Know-Who is using Dream Walking to get into Harry's head?" Ron asked.
Hermione hesitated. "I didn't say Harry."
But with a grim face Harry said, "Who else would he be after, Hermione?"
She didn't answer this and only looked at her feet.
"You've gotta take up those lessons again, mate," Ron said looking shaken, but Harry only grit his teeth in answer. "I know, I hate him too but it can't be helped. You remember what McGonagall said, once you're taken there's no escape," Ron continued.
"Now that is absolute rubbish!" Hermione said fiercely. The boys stared at her a bit taken aback by her outburst, but she chose to ignore this. "There is a way to drive off the madness. There has to be."
Ron turned to Harry looking concerned. "You haven't been having any wonky dreams, have you?"
"No," Harry said with a shake of his head.
"Right. I reckon we just have to keep an eye out," he paused before continuing, "and somehow find how those girls are connected, and who's next." He sighed and scratched the back of his neck.
Harry nodded his head towards Luna who was approaching them with a smile on her face. "We'll talk about this later. You worry about your date, okay?" And just like that the troubled air around them dissipated. Luna came up to them and smiled contentedly up at Ron. "Hello, Ronald." He only had eyes for her. "Hey," he said with a grin. Harry and Hermione nodded their greetings and the four of them followed the crowd of students out the doors.
"So, er, we're gonna go for a bit of a walk. See you later?" Ron said as Luna took his arm.
"Oh yeah, see you," Harry raised a hand in goodbye and the four of them separated. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at Hermione who busied herself with her gloves. She seemed to have decided that last night had never happened. Harry's breath came out in a billow of smoke as he sighed heavily. He would have none of that. She wasn't going to ignore this any longer. He took her arm. "Hey, Hermione?"
She looked up at him, cheeks pink, though if it was from the cold or his touch he didn't know. Her eyes darted to glance at their contact, but Harry refused to remove his hand.
"I'm a bit cold. You want to head inside somewhere?" she asked.
"Er, yeah. We could go to Honeydukes," he said thinking that the atmosphere would probably take her mind off any lingering tension between them.
"Sure."
They walked in silence as they headed for the store.
This was not at all how he wanted things to be, and she couldn't believe that she had forgotten Ron on a date meant that the two of them would be alone. Together.
You've spent plenty of alone time with him, dear. There's nothing to fret about. A voice in her head, sounding much like her own, said to herself.He opened the door for her and they stepped in.
"Thinking of getting anything?" he asked.
"Maybe some Bertie Botts."
"Right."
The two of them were separated by the swarm of bodies and Hermione felt the need to take a steadying breath. "You're acting ridiculous," she muttered to herself as she selected a bag of candy. Purchasing her things, she searched for Harry and the two of them exited the store. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and she focused her gaze elsewhere.
Harry sighed. "Hermione-"
"Shall we go to Fred and George's shop then?"
He held her gaze and nodded in consent. The air was writhing with pent up tension between them as they made their way to the Weasley's joke shop. A tinkling bell sang their arrival and Harry held the door open for her. They stepped in and were promptly surprised to see the shop filled with pulsing bodies, some not human. With a loud squawk the bird on the stairs quickly transformed back into an excited second year.
"I'll take it!" she said triumphantly.
Muffled explosions, loud pops and all kind of strange sounds mixed with much gaiety overwhelmed the two of them and they stood rooted to the spot, taking everything in.
"Hey, Harry! Hermione! Great to see you. Don't be shy now, come on in!" Fred, or George (Harry really couldn't tell) slapped him on the back in greeting.
"It looks like the shop is a success," Hermione said, impressed. She ducked as a streak of blond zoomed over her head and around the room.
"Oh, it's huge, Hermione! Fred's with some of the customers right now, trying out our latest stuff."
The three of them turned to see Fred surrounded by a gaggle of customers; some having a lick at their candied apples and surprisingly camouflaging to their surroundings. The three of them ducked when Colin shot by them once more.
"Are you sure that is safe?" Hermione said worriedly looking at the few kids flying around the room.
"Oh, sure. Fred and I tested 'em out ourselves."
Hermione nodded but she didn't look convinced.
"Want to have a go?" Fred asked and they answered at the same time,
"Sure!"
"Oh, no."
"Harry," Hermione said exasperatedly as she looked at the young man grinning down at her.
"Come on Hermione. It looks like fun."
"Oh, it's loads of fun!" George said excitedly and promptly withdrew a handful of sweets from his robes. "Here, and have some Camouflapples. On the house."
"Oh, George, we shouldn't," Hermione said with a shake of her head, but he only took her hands and placed the handful of sweets in them.
"Nonsense. Take 'em." He dove into his pockets and produced another mound of sweets, grabbed Harry's hand and dumped the pile into them. He then pulled the two protesting students aside and produced two bags from his robes. Harry wondered just how big George's pockets were. "Here, bag em. Try them out and tell your friends. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes: they're sweet to eat and handy too."
Harry laughed. "Thought of that yourself didn't you?"
"Took me all night. Fred seems to like it though."
The door sang its tinkling tune.
"Oh, more customers. Go on, have a look around. If you need anything talk to Ned." And with that George left.
Harry turned to Hermione and asked, "Ned? Whose Ned?" As soon as the words left his mouth there was a blur of green and without warning a rather short, balding man with laughing eyes appeared before them. Hermione jumped and the man opened his mouth to take a breath before saying, "Hey how'ya doing? Welcome t' the shop. Ned's the name. First timers I see. Well if you have any questions, preferences, desires, death wishes-"
"Death wishes?" Harry repeated but Ned seemed to not hear him and continued without pause, "dreams, if you want to disappear, have a laugh, play a game, need a friend, a lift, a pet then just give me a call and I'll be there in a blink of an eye," he finished and looked up at them expectantly.
Hermione just stared at him open-mouthed, wondering where the twins had found this character.
"Er," Harry began and Ned's head darted to look at him expectantly. "We're just here to look around thanks."
"Alright, son. Take a gander and if you need me just holler," he said with a nod and as if in answer to his statement someone from the far corner of the store shouted, "Oy, Ned!" and with a bow and a grin he was gone in a flash.
Harry stared at the spot where the man used to be just moments ago. "That was strange," he said and suddenly Hermione let out a laugh. His face broke into a grin and all the tension seemed to melt away. Now with renewed confidence and a twinkle in his eye, Harry led Hermione around the room. When he groped around in his bag, Hermione looked at him warily.
"You're actually going to try it?"
"Yeah. Aren't you?"
"You're mental."
"Come on, Hermione. George himself said that it's safe."
In response to this, Hermione only gave him a look and Harry laughed. "Alright, well look up. They're not getting hurt are they?"
Hermione craned her neck to look at the ceiling, and was surprised to see dozens of kids flying and floating. She shivered. Looking back down, she almost let out a shriek as Harry suddenly rose into the air.
"Harry! Get down!"
He only grinned. "Can't, gotta let it wear off."
She watched him with a wary eye as he zoomed around the room and came to rest on the high shelf by her head.
"This is brilliant, Hermione!"
But she shook her head and looked at him fearfully.
"Harry, you know I'm afraid of flying."
"And I won't let you fall. I promise." He slowly sank to her level and stretched out his hand. "Fly with me," he said.
She bit her lip and scrutinized him. "How long does it last?" she asked.
"You'll take a nibble and it'll be for a few moments only."
"What if we fall?"
"I'll catch you," he said with a shrug.
"Harry!"
He laughed and assured her once more, "We'll sink slowly to the ground. It's safe. I promise."
She was silent for a moment. This was incredibly different from a broom. For one thing, there was nothing holding her up and another she had no idea when it would wear off.
"Don't you trust me?"
"Oh don't be ridiculous, of course I do."
"Then fly with me. You'll be safe I promise you that."
Hesitantly, she reached into her bag and produced a small piece of candy. She scrutinized it with narrowed eyes.
"Relax," he said with a laugh.
Hermione looked up at him warningly and brought the candy to her lips. Slowly she shut her eyes and took a small bite out of it.
She swallowed.
Nothing happened.
Well what was she expecting, an explosion? Yes. Yes, in fact she was. But there was no explosion. She didn't spontaneously combust. Instead, she felt Harry's hand slip into hers but she refused to open her eyes when she felt a stirring within the pit of her stomach.
"Oh god," she whispered.
"Relax. You're doing fine."
He wrapped his arms around her and she felt gravity shift.
"I want to go back down," she said in a shaky voice as he pulled her back to his chest.
"But the ride isn't over yet," he said.
"Then I want it to be over," she said, not realizing the much deeper meaning to their current conversation.
"You can't stop it, Hermione. Just open your eyes and let it happen."
She shook her head fiercely and her grip on him tightened. Her eyes remained shut.
"Open your eyes, Hermione. Look, we're not that high," he whispered and she could feel his breath on her cheek.
"Don't let me go," she said, her voice oddly high pitched. He pressed her closer to him.
"I never will. Now open your eyes, Hermione," he said. "Just open your eyes."
Feeling as if she was going to throw up, she tentatively opened one eye then another. The tops of their heads reached the banister of the third floor. A child shrieking with laughter zoomed around them and shot towards the high ceiling. Harry looked up at the child enviously. Hermione gasped. She turned her head towards his chest, and clung to him with a death-like grip.
"Alright I have my eyes open. Can we go down now?" she squeaked nervously.
They glided across the room over the heads of many customers.
"In a moment, love," he said then sighed, "If only we can go outside." He looked longingly out the window.
Hermione shook her head in protest. "No no. Inside is fine."
There was a flash and Harry looked down to spot Colin sporting his camera. Several heads were turned up as George pointed out Harry and Hermione's progression. Then hands instantly shot out expectantly and George placed a candy in each awaiting palm. He flashed Harry a grin. If the boy-who-lived was doing it, why couldn't they? Wonderful. I've become a marketing asset. "Least it's for a good cause," he muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Hermione asked with her eyes trained firmly on his shoulder.
"Nothing. It's not so bad is it?" he asked, but she didn't answer him.
There was a funny feeling in her stomach once more and the ground seemed to rise towards them at a steady pace.
"See? It's almost over. It's wearing off. Any moment now," Harry assured and when Hermione's feet firmly touched the floor, she shivered.
He looked down at her and said, "You alright?"
"Remind to never listen to you ever again," she muttered against his chest and Harry laughed in response.
"Next time we'll go higher."
"Next time?" she said stepping from his embrace, but Harry just grinned and took her hand, leading her out of the store.
Once outside she wrapped her arms around herself against the cold.
"Where to now?" Harry asked.
"Well, seeing as you had me fly around a room without a broom, I'd say that you in fact owe me."
Taking his hand, she led him down the street to the bookstore.
An hour and a bag laden with a book and several quills later, the two of them trooped out of the shop. Still laughing at their private joke, Harry gathered himself and held out his hand expectantly. Hermione just looked at his outstretched arm directed at her bags and raised an eyebrow.
"Can I help you with anything, Harry?"
"I just thought I'd help you with your bags."
"Oh, because I'm not perfectly capable of holding anything on my own is that it?"
"Wha- no I just thought I could help."
Hermione smiled at him, "It's alright, Harry. I'm fine. What time is it?"
Harry looked at his watch. "It's nearly three. We've got about and hour before the carriages come. Wanna go grab some Butterbeers?"
Hermione nodded and they headed for the Three Broomsticks.
"You think Ron and Luna are there?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. We'll see them if they are."
"Yeah."
They passed the quidditch shop and in the window lay the new firebolt and several other quidditch supplies. Harry paused before the window.
"Do you ever think of buying a new one?" Hermione asked.
"No, I know it sounds stupid, but my firebolt is my last link to Sirius. I know I have Grimmauld Place but this is different. I can't explain it."
The glass reflected the two figures standing in the snow. Hermione looked up at him and placed a hand on his arm. Her touch made him turn to look at her and she said, "It's not stupid."
They stood there for a moment and people came and went through the doors of the store.
"Do you want to go in?" Hermione asked.
He tore his gaze away from the display. "No, let's have that drink instead." he said, surprising her.
A group of students came up to the window with exclamations of delight and wonder on their features. The two of them turned and continued to walk on.
"You know," he said causing her to look at him as they walked. "I completely forgot about the game today."
"You can't be serious."
"No, really. Ron had to remind me. It's weird, I mean, quidditch is the one thing that makes me feel completely and absolutely free from everything. When I'm up there, everything just…falls away, you know? The school, Sirius, my parents, even Voldemort. I forget it all. And all I know and think of is the snitch. I just have to get the snitch." He looked down at her as he pulled open the door to the Three Broomsticks. "It's a great feeling, Hermione, and I just find it weird that this morning I forgot about the one thing I can lose myself in."
They stepped into the pub and scanned the area for a familiar face or an empty table.
"Maybe you just have more on your mind lately," Hermione said, feeling the familiar tension that had taken a hold of her earlier. She could feel his eyes on her and she scanned the pub for any sign of Ron and Luna. She finally spotted them talking in the far back, both looking oblivious to their surroundings. When Luna laughed at whatever Ron had said, Hermione noticed his eyes soften into a look that seemed foreign on his features. It was a look that was meant for no one but the woman sitting with him, and Hermione strangely felt as if she was outside a window looking in on something so incredibly private that her cheeks flushed and she immediately turned away only to find that Harry was looking down at her. What she failed to notice in her flustered state was that the look that filled his green eyes mirrored the fire that Hermione had spotted in Ron's.
"They look busy. I'll find us an empty table," she said as she hurriedly stepped away from Harry, wanting to put as much distance between them as soon as possible. For an overwhelming indescribable feeling had overtaken her.
Some patrons got up and left a table and she scurried to the now empty bench and placed her bags on it before seating herself down. Her throat felt constricted and her breathing came out in unsteady gasps while she fumbled with her gloves. She didn't know what had come over her, but she knew that she had to calm herself and so, closing her eyes she attempted to do so. The problem was that when she opened them once again, a bottle had materialized in front of her and so had Harry, now seated on the bench opposite her. He took a swig from his bottle before looking at her and saying, "Tired?"
She shook her head, brought the bottle to her lips, and drank deeply.
"If I had known you were that thirsty I would have offered to come here earlier," Harry said with a wry smile, but Hermione only flushed and placed her bottle, now half empty, slowly onto the table.
Feeling the sudden change in her disposition towards him Harry fell silent and looked thoughtfully at his bottle before taking another swig. An awkward silence suddenly settled upon them and she stared at the table.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing. Why do ask?" she said.
"Well, you got quiet all of a sudden."
Hermione pushed her bottle from side to side, idly playing with it. "I've just got a lot on my mind lately," she said with half a smile, not taking her eyes off the fizzing drink.
Harry leaned towards her from across the table, deliberately brushing the hands that clasped the bottle with a ghost of a kiss. "Like, what happened last night," he said waiting for her to look up at him, but she didn't do what he expected her to do. She didn't even answer him.
Harry noted the catch in her throat, and saw the exact moment her heart raced to catch up with her sprinting thoughts. And still, she didn't answer him. Harry clenched his jaw.
"Can we talk about it at least?" he asked.
She seemed to be more fascinated with the bubbles racing to the surface than with the boy who looked imploringly at her with eyes that burned.
"And what if I don't want to talk about it right now?" she said with her eyes still trained to the bottle.
He wanted her to look at him.
"We can't ignore this forever, Hermione."
"Ignore what?" she said with feign confusion.
His eyes flared in disbelief and he pushed his bottle aside, leaned closer to her, and shook his head. "No. I know what you're trying to do and it won't work on me." He was met with silence, but this didn't make him shy away as she intended. It only spurred him on to get a reaction out of her. "Look at me, Hermione," he said as he plucked the bottle from her hands and placed it aside. The moment he had done so, her eyes rose to meet his. He saw the surprise harden to denial.
"Harry, I don't-"
"You remember everything. Every touch. Every glance. Every step. Every word, Hermione. I know you do. So don't even try that load of bollocks. You're better than that."
At this Hermione's cheeks flamed, and she sat up and lifted her chin at him. Harry ignored his sudden urge to kiss her.
"I am not trying anything, Harry. I'm just thinking rationally. There was soft music, the room was dimly lit, and we were alone," she ignored the disbelieving look that clouded his features and continued, "The dancing just added another touch to the romantic atmosphere. So naturally, your words fit the circumstances we were faced with."
His eyes darkened and he suddenly grasped her hand in his own, pulling her towards him.
"I meant every word," he said slowly and carefully.
She was shaking. Her mouth opened but words failed her. Then without warning, his disposition changed and his eyes softened as he raised a gentle hand to her cheek. Harry whispered her name. Her lip trembled, and with a fierce mental shake of her head she tore herself from his grasp and stood. Without a word she bolted from the table and pushed her way through the bustling crowd and out the door. The cold wind clawed at her with a vengeance and in dismay she suddenly remembered that she had forgotten her jacket. Feeling faint, she swallowed and fell against the street light only five steps away from the pub. Billows of smoke filled her vision with each gasping breath and she clutched her midsection and shivered violently.
She heard the familiar roar as the door opened allowing a certain figure out onto the nearly empty street. The door swung shut, cutting off the tumult of voices. Crunching footsteps made their way towards her and she squeezed her eyes shut, forcing back tears.
"Here," the deep voice sounded and Harry slipped the jacket into her awaiting arms.
She quickly shrugged into it, wrapped the scarf around her neck and gratefully pulled the gloves over her trembling hands.
"Drink this, it'll warm you up," Harry said stepping closer to her and handing her the butterbeer.
She gratefully accepted it and brought the bottle to her lips. The liquid sent pleasant warmth though her chilled body and yet she still couldn't stop trembling. He was looking at her again and she stubbornly met his gaze with her own. "Thank you," she said quietly.
Snowflakes drifted lazily about them, and Harry nodded in answer before saying, "Now, where were we?"
Hermione sighed and raised her eyes to the sky in frustration. She cursed the tears that traitorously threatened to fall.
"Stop it, Harry. Why do you keep doing this! Why can't you just let it go!"
"Because that would mean letting you go," he said with eyes that caressed her trembling form. "and I can't do that, Hermione."
Two steps.
Two steps was all it took to have her back pressed against the dark iron and his warmth filling her senses.
"Please don't do this," she whispered as she felt him fit himself against her.
With one hand at her waist, he brought up his other hand to trace the tendrils of hair that brushed against her flushed features.
"Don't do what?" he asked and she could feel the warmth of his breath graze her skin with a ghost of a touch. He let his forehead fall to lean against her own as he proceeded to drown her with his eyes.
Don't make me fall in love with you.
"Please don't make this harder than it already is," she whispered instead.
His hand traveled to the nape of her neck and rested there. Snow matted his hair causing it to fall into his eyes.
"Then allow me to make it easier for you," he said and she dared not answer him.
Wind whipped through them, around them, against them, but they were ignorant to its taunting. His lips were dangerously close.
"Hermione," Harry breathed.
Hermione whimpered in answer. Brilliant green filled her vision and she shut her eyes and took a shaking breath.
"I can't," she managed to utter, her voice breaking.
"Yes. You can," Harry whispered and brushed his lips softly, tantalizingly, against her own.
His arm tightened around her waist pulling her against him. He wanted to deepen the kiss. He wanted to tear off those wretched layers of clothing that served as the only physical barrier between him and what his blood cried out for. Harry wanted to crawl inside her, bury himself deep and find the spot where he ended and she began. He wanted to feel her arching against him and hear his name escape her lips with a cry. He wanted to kiss her. At that moment however, fate decided to turn its pretty nose up at him.
The door to the Three Broomsticks opened.
"Hey, isn't that Harry?"
"Erm, Justin, I don't think now is a good time to-"
"Oh, come off it Neville. He won't mind." And with that Justin sealed his death wish by cupping his hands and shouting, "Oy, Harry!"
With a sudden jolt Hermione's eyes flew open and she pulled herself out of his grasp. Mortified at what Neville and Justin may have witnessed had she continued to allow her feelings to get a hold of her, she turned away and made to busy herself with buttoning up her jacket. She was surprised to find that the now empty bottle was still clutched in her gloved hands, and she tossed it in the trash.
Harry growled low in his throat at the sudden disruption and turned to find Justin trotting up to meet them. Neville hung in the back for a few moments. Then seeing as there wasn't any point, he slowly made his way towards them and gave Harry an apologetic look. Harry only had eyes for Justin.
"Hey, Justin."
"Hey, Hermione!" an oblivious Justin waved.
"Hello, Justin. Hey, Neville," Hermione managed to say weakly.
"You guys just come out of the Three Broomsticks? Neville and I spotted Ron with Luna. Didn't figure that, eh?"
Harry smiled thinly at him and simply said, "They look happy."
"Yeah, they do don't they?" He paused to rub his hands together before continuing, "Cold isn't it? I don't know how you're gonna survive up in the air at the game today."
"We'll manage."
"Guess so, yeah. Well, good luck Harry. We're going to grab a carriage. See you at the castle?"
"Right," Harry said, and with a good natured wave to Hermione, Justin turned to go.
Neville shrugged and said, "See you on the pitch, I suppose. Good luck and, er, sorry if we-"
Hermione shook her head at him and smiled. "It's alright, Neville. You didn't interrupt anything."
Neville's eyes darted to Harry uncertainly then back to Hermione. "Right, well. Cheers."
Hands in his pockets, he walked away, leaving Harry and Hermione alone once again. This time for the remainder of their moments alone together, they merely stood a small distance away from each other, their gazes never breaking. It was only when the sound of the door opening once more and a familiar laugh echoed in their ears that they blinked and reverted their eyes to their best friend, who was strolling towards them with an arm around the smaller blond haired witch. The couple didn't even seem to notice the pair until Ron finally looked up the path. Once he had spotted Harry and Hermione his face broke out into a grin.
"Hey Harry, Hermione! C'mon! We should grab a carriage before we freeze to death."
Much later, they were seated in the cozy warmth of the carriage, Ron's arm still around Luna, Hermione's hands nervously fidgeting on her lap, and Harry staring darkly out the window. The wind had died down and the snow was falling freely now. Ron stared at his best friends wondering what had transpired between them.
"So," he said, breaking the heavy silence and gaining the attention of the two sitting before him. "What'd you two do?"
"I can't believe what you did to me!"
"And what did I do to you, Hermione! Explain to me that."
"Oh you know very well what you did, Harry. And I do not appreciate you treating me like I'm some wanton whore who'll swoon into your arms with a crook of a finger!"
"You're saying that was my fault! Well, if you'd just stop being a sodding coward and open you're bleeding eyes then maybe, just maybe you wouldn't-"
"Don't you dare talk to me about that rubbish because I am tired of your-"
"Tired of my what!" Harry exploded and Hermione fought the urge to shirk away as he continued, "What, Hermione! Tired of my what! My attempts to get you to see the truth? To get you to stop running away? Bloody hell, Hermione! In all these six years I've known you, I've never seen you run away from something. Whether it was as dangerous as Voldemort or as simple as a school problem, you've never turned your back so why now?"
Hermione cast a wild look around the Gryffindor change room as she raked her fingers through her hair. The two of them were once again alone. At first sight of Hermione, Ron had gathered the rest of the team out into the hall. Ginny was now pressed up against the heavy door while Ron kept the rest of the team occupied. Though she needn't have strained her ears, for the shouts coming from within the room were loud enough to hear with the door wide open or shut tight. Harry was red in the face. His eyes flared and were sparking with green fire. Hermione' s cheeks were aflame with anger. Her hair wild from the constant grooming her fingers gave it. She took a steady breath to calm herself.
"Because."
"Don't give me that. I want a straight answer, Hermione. Because. What."
"It's not that simple!"
"How hard is it then? Do you fancy me or not?" Harry said.
Hermione took another breath, but she couldn't bring herself to say 'no'. Oh, Harry. We can't. I'm not safe.
Ron heard a faint whistle calling the teams to make their way out onto the pitch.
"Oy! Get away from there!" he said to the few team mates that managed to break away and hovered by the closed door. He raised a hand and knocked. The sharp sound brought Harry's attention to the door and his face darkened. Hermione shut her eyes in relief. Harry flung open the door.
"Time to go, mate," Ron said and Harry nodded. He looked back at Hermione who had her back to them.
"You'll be there?" he asked.
"Do you have to ask?" Hermione said.
With her back turned, she failed to see his features soften. Before they left he heard her say, "You'll be careful." It sounded more like an order than a question and Harry smiled.
"Yeah. I'll win, too."
Hermione knew the moment the team stepped out onto the snow laden pitch, for the crowd thundered in a mixture of cheers and boos. She sighed. "Let's hope that will happen only in quidditch," she answered him and walked out of the room.
He did it for her. He watched the game. He eyed the players. Saw them zip and turn and glide around the goal posts. He allowed himself a good old fashioned fist pumping into the air whenever his team mates managed to score on the opposing team. Then he would go back to scanning the pitch, watching their every move. He even caught a glimpse of the snitch once.
He did it all for her.
He guarded the posts with his life, and with each save and each dive, he thought: This is for her.
When he managed to spiral from one goal post to the other, stretching his arm out and knocking the quaffle out of harm's way, he had thought, For her.
When he spun and dived, barely missing an oncoming bludger aimed at his head and managing to block the quaffle, he had muttered, "For Luna."
Every block.
Every save.
Every hit.
Luna.
Luna.
Luna.
So it wasn't a surprise that Gryffindor had managed to beat Slytherin 250-0. He whooped and cheered with the rest as Harry glided around the pitch in a victory lap with the snitch caught tightly in his fist. A bright smile clung to his face and Ron saw him scanning the crowd of students rushing onto the pitch. Some slipped and slid on the snow, but none of that mattered. They had won. A cheering and singing Seamus and Dean hoisted Harry and Ron up on their shoulders and in a flurry or red and gold they trooped around the pitch once and headed back inside.
Ron scanned the bustling bodies for a familiar spark of blue. She smiled up at him and sang with the rest. His heart swelled and his cheeks hurt from grinning and laughing, but he didn't care. They had won. He had won. For her. For Luna. Giddy, Ron turned to his right to look at his best friend. Harry was scanning the pitch, the stands, the group of faces swarming around them. The smile on his face slowly faded and with each passing moment, the light in his eyes dimmed. Ron looked questioningly at him, but Harry refused to look at Ron, and Ron noticed Harry force a laugh for Seamus. Then it hit him. Hermione. Where was Hermione? The hand that had managed to find Luna's loosened its grasp and he twisted to look around, but it was all in vain. Luna, also noticing the missing bushy head rose on her toes and looked around over the heads of the students.
The crowd carried them along. Hermione was absent, and all the while Harry kept a strained smile on his features. All of the euphoria of winning, and all of the excitement, had left him. They weren't put down until they had gotten to the portrait hole. Before the two of them were pushed inside Ron managed to mutter, "She didn't miss it."
Within moments the party was already in full swing. Students were dancing wildly, talking animatedly and, in the case of the seventh years, ingesting copious amounts of alcohol (courtesy of Seamus Finnegan) whilst the snitch zoomed happily around the common room. Hermione wasn't in sight. It was a half hearted Harry at the party. Finally, after having taken his fill of firewhiskey, he made his way over to Ron and Luna. Ron looked up at him as Harry patted him on the back.
"You're going up now?"
"Yeah, I'm a bit tried."
Ron looked around the room, noting the missing Head Girl, nodded and said, "D'you want me to-"
"No,"
"Right. Get some rest, mate."
"Yeah."
Harry turned to go, but Ron called him back. "I'm sure she had a good reason."
Harry only nodded at this and said goodnight to Luna. He waved away the outbursts of dismay that followed him up the stairs and managed to avoid several drunken girl's advances before stepping into the boys dorms with a tired sigh. Then he froze at the sight that greeted him on his bed. He sighed heavily, and turned to shut the door. He brushed past her on his way to his trunk without even a look of acknowledgment.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as he shrugged out of his quidditch robes and tossed them lazily into the trunk.
"I need to talk to you," Hermione said as she watched him sit on Ron's bed and pull off his boots.
Harry didn't even bother to look at her as he pulled on a shirt and began to button it up. "Where were you?" he asked
"You actually think that I missed your game? I saw it Harry. I saw the whole thing."
With a loud snap, his trunk slammed shut.
"With your eyes shut, right?"
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Hermione said with her arms folded over her chest.
Harry took off his glasses and rubbed them wearily before placing them back on. She looked lovely in the moonlight. He mentally shook his head and walked to the door and pulled it open for her.
"Look, I'm tired. Why don't you go downstairs, have fun, and leave me alone."
"You're acting like a child, Harry," Hermione said firmly.
Harry only shrugged, shut the door and stalked towards her. She took a step back, but needn't have for he only moved to light his lamp.
"Harry, I was there. I saw everything. I saw Ron block every shot and you soar around the pitch after you caught the snitch. I saw them carry you all the way here. And I saw you look for me."
Harry looked at her in confusion. His anger ebbed away. "Then why didn't I see you?"
"Because something happened."
Harry pulled aside his blanket and placed his wand on his bedside table.
"Something important, eh?" he said bitterly and not bothering to look at her.
"Something that was out of my control," she answered and Harry turned to look at her expectantly, but she didn't say anything more.
"Right. Well it was nice talking. G'night." And with that he got into bed and shut the curtains.
With a sigh, Hermione walked to his bed and pulled them aside. "I wanted to apologize, Harry."
Harry lay on his bed with his arms behind his head. His eyes trained to the ceiling. "For what?" he said indifferently.
"For shouting."
"Ah."
Hermione's brow furrowed at his answer and after a few moments he turned his head to look at her. "Is that it then? Well, apology accepted. Now if you don't mind," Harry sat up and placed a hand on the curtain, making to pull them around once more, but Hermione's hand stayed his.
He looked at her standing over him, the moon reflecting off of her fair skin. Her hair, untamed with tendrils teasing her stern features. Her scent filling him, calling him, reaching for his touch.
"Go away, Hermione," he said with gritted teeth.
"I want to talk to you, Harry."
Something snapped inside him.
He sat up and with a swift and with a sudden fluid movement, he had pushed the curtains aside and was now on his feet, towering over her.
"You want to talk. Okay, let's talk then. But what will be talk about, Hermione?" she took a step back from him as he continued, "Oh, I know, why don't we continue where we left off? That seems like a good start, don't you think?"
"Harry-" said with a nervous smile.
"No, Hermione. Humour me. Give me your answer. You did come here to talk, right? So we're gonna do just that," he said in a voice that had lowered to a dangerous tone.
Hermione slowly back away from his advancing steps. "This hardly seems the time to-"
"Oh, I think this is the perfect time."
The full moon now fell on them both casting their contrasting forms in its warm glow.
"Can't this wait until-"
"No. Hermione. It's a simple answer to a simple question. All I need is a yes, or no. Just give me that. That's all I want. Yes. Or no?"
Hermione looked at him as if he had completely lost his mind. She took a deep breath. She opened her mouth. She closed it. Her hand raised to tangle itself in her hair as she frantically began to pace from one bed to another. Her eyes looked around the room in frustration, as if she was looking for some means of escape though Harry had in fact barred her from the only door with his hands crossed over his chest. He held his breath.
Say yes.
Suddenly, Hermione stopped in her tracks and turned to face him, teary eyed and breathless.
"It wasn't supposed to be this way!" she shouted, surprising him. "I had everything ordered, everything planned! We were supposed to be friends, destroy Voldemort, graduate, get jobs, get a flat," her voice faltered slightly and she swallowed before gathering herself and continued with a shrill and desperate, "None of this was supposed to happen!"
"But it did, Hermione! This isn't some list that you can check off when things go your way. It's life. Things happen. Things change!"
"But I don't want it to change! I want everything to be back they way they were. Things were fine the way they were!"
"So you'd rather have us live deaf and blind? You can't just ignore this, Hermione. You're smarter than that. You can't just wait for it to go away, because it won't. I. Won't."
"Don't you think I know that! Do you think that I forgot everything we've done?" she paused to take a shaking breath. "I am ashamed, Harry. I'm ashamed of the way I acted. The way I practically threw myself at you. I'm ashamed at the fact that even though I know what I want, I'm still a coward. I'm still running away. I'm ashamed that I'm the one holding you back."
Harry blinked at her answer, but he didn't dare speak in fear that all of this was just one horrible dream and he would awaken alone in his bed with the party still raging downstairs and Hermione no where in sight. So he held his tongue and allowed her to finish, and what she said surprised him even more.
"And even knowing all of this, knowing all of the change that this could bring," she swallowed and her voice quieted, "I'm ashamed of myself, Harry because despite everything… I still want you… I still care for you."
There was a moment of painful silence in which she silently willed him to say something. Peals of laughter burst from behind the shut door mingled with strange animal sounds. They ignored these distractions and Harry took a step towards her.
"Okay," he began in a shaky, quiet voice, "first of all, you didn't throw yourself at me. If you remember correctly, I'm the one who kissed you. Second, you're not a coward and you're not holding me back because there's no one else I want. And third, can I kiss you?"
It's funny how a single word can change so much. A single word can turn someone's world upside down. Everything that was planned, everything that was carefully thought out, written down, checked and double checked could be completely erased with a single decision. A single word.
"Yes."
And he didn't waste a moment to go her, take her in his arms and drown himself in the sweet, aching taste of her lips. She rose on her toes and wrapped her arms around him; running her fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss. Silent tears trailed down her cheeks and Harry kissed them away tenderly before taking her lips once more. She fitted her body to his, and a desperate whimper escaped from her throat.
No holding back.
No interruptions.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"I'm so sorry, Harry."
"Shh, love."
Her hands raced over him as if this moment was their last. Her fingers fumbled over the buttons of his shirt until with a firm tug she managed to tear it open and pull it off of him.
All the while he pulled her to his bed.
He gently pushed her robes off her and they fell to the ground with a whisper soon followed by other articles of clothing. She gasped against his mouth at the icy touch of his hands on her skin and she pushed him onto the bed, her lips feasting upon his with a desperate hunger.
He pulled himself up along the bed, and with her arms around him she followed in pursuit, never breaking contact. Her soft hands ignited blazing fires within him, but he wanted to feel more. He needed to hear more. Heart racing, body throbbing for release, he broke away from her. Their breath came out in deep shuddering gasps.
"Tell me you want me," his voice breathless and hoarse, sounded foreign to him.
"I want you," she whispered fiercely.
He kissed her again and she melted into him as he laid her on the bed and traced his lips up the smooth column of her neck.
"Tell me you need me," his lips brushed against her ear.
"I need you, Harry."
A hint of a smile graced his lips and he almost laughed aloud in elation. Taking his head in her hands, she pulled him back down to her and captured his lips in a tantalizing kiss. With tremendous effort he wrenched himself away from her protesting grasp, braced his hands on either side of her and held himself up with his arms.
Looking into her eyes, his heart in his throat, their pulses racing, in a quiet hopeful voice he asked the one painful question that had been writhing inside of him since that fateful night in the common room.
"Do you love me?"
And in that moment she saw both Harry the lonely, frightened boy he was then and the head strong, tender hearted young man he was now, and she smiled. And with that single gesture all of the breath was ripped from him with a sudden heave and he felt weak with the wonder of it all, for he knew her answer.
"Always."
He was hers.
Harry murmured her name against her skin and all coherent thought left them. He took only a minute to take a hold of his wand, and with an impatient flick the curtains swished shut, giving them their privacy. She allowed him to mutter the silencing charm before pulling the wand out of his grasp, dragging him back down to her and sending him hurtling over the threshold and into the gardens of nirvana where he shouted to the skies, and cried out in triumph again and again:
She loves me.
She loves me.
She loves me.
Hours later with the moon now high in the sky and their bodies slick with sweat, she arched against him with eyes shut in pure ecstasy. Neither paid any heed to the sleepy mumbled 'goodnights' of the returning dorm mates.
Harry loved everything about her. He loved her name, her voice, her thoughts, her eyes, her hair, her lips, her toes, her tears, her smile. He loved it when her eyebrows would furrow in concentration. He loved how her lips would compress into a line when she was cross. He loved it when she moaned his name the moment he pulled out of her with excruciating slowness. He loved the small sounds she made as his lips, slowly making its way down the length of her body, caressed her neck, the hollow in her throat, her abdomen. When she moved over him, he didn't hesitate to profess his love for her. And when the moments of completeness arose, he cried out his love and gave himself to her entirely, never holding back, and knowing that he was utterly loosing himself with each passing minute.
The moon began to fade as the sky took on a rosy hue. Snowflakes drifted and fell, blanketing the ground and dusting the window panes. Harry pulled the covers over Hermione who kissed his shoulder tenderly. Her hair spilled over the pillow and she lay on her side, with her face buried against his neck and eyes shut in content. She lay her hand on his chest, her fingers tracing lazy patterns along his collar bone and up his shoulder. She whispered words that made him smile sleepily and upon his answer she laughed before placing a kiss on his neck. Harry lay on his back with one arm wrapped around her and his hand resting on her back. He had his other arm circled around her waist, holding her small form close to him. He turned his head to place a soft kiss on her forehead, and then rested against the pillow once more. Overcome with fatigue he shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep.