This is a little short (sorry!) but I am also a little early according to my weekly schedule so I hope I can be forgiven. Also, I am pretty sure I have the next chapter figured out so if I can get my work done today I might have it up really soon! Thank you so much for your support of this story it has meant so much to me! This is such a supportive community! I welcome constructive criticism too- always! Thanks!
As was her custom when her cousin spoke Elizabeth's mind began to wander. She thought it lovely that Mr. Collins' first duty as a husband was to bring his wife home to be guided and advised by his imperious neighbor. She smiled at this, but then as she looked around she noticed that everyone was looking at her. Their expressions varied. Miss Bingley looked pleased beyond measure, as did Mrs. Bennet. Kitty and Lydia looked about to burst with laughter while Mary seemed angry. Mr. Darcy looked concerned. His gaze went from Elizabeth back to Mr. Collins whom she now realized was holding out a hand to her. She looked at it and a suspicion of what he might have said while she was not attending began to form.
"Mr. Collins I," Elizabeth began, not certain what she meant to say. Fortunately, she was spared the necessity of finishing an unformed thought by the entrance of Jane and Mr. Bingley. Although normally the reentrance of formerly absent parties would not cause a stir the radiant smiles of these two particular individuals alerted the others to what may have transpired and of course this could not be ignored.
"Jane," Mrs. Bennet exclaimed loudly. Before answering her mother Jane turned and spoke quietly to Mr. Bingley who nodded and, bright smile still firmly in place, left the room by the opposite door.
"Mother, I think it best we not speculate on anything until Mr. Bingley returns." Jane said in the firm voice she generally reserved for reigning in Lydia. Taking up her needlework she gave it her undivided attention. Mrs. Bennet seemed at a loss, but before she could inquire further Mr. Collins spoke up once again.
"Perhaps as we wait patiently for an announcement in one quarter Miss Elizabeth and I might be excused that we might also contribute to the joyful tidings about to be felt at Longbourn." Again, his hand was extended.
"Yes of course, Mr. Collins." Mrs. Bennet beamed. "Lizzie, take Mr. Collins to the gardens."
"Mother, I am certain Mr. Collins has no desire to see the gardens. There is so much more entertainment to be found in here." Elizabeth said attempting to affect a breezy air with all eyes in the room on her.
"Lizzie, you will go directly." Was the firm response.
Elizabeth looked briefly at Mr. Darcy and saw that he continued to look concerned and she suspected he wanted her to alert him as to whether she was in need of her assistance. Not completely certain as to why, this angered Elizabeth. With their awkward almost conversation outside of her father's study still parading around her mind she was in no humor to allow him to assume a place of protection he did not truly want nor did she truly need him. That did not stop her from wishing things were different.
"Mother perhaps we can wait until Mr. Bingley returns." Jane offered and while Elizabeth appreciated her attempted intervention she realized that now was as good a time as any to hear Mr. Collins and let him understand her own position. Before her mother could insist again, likely far less politely, she rose. Rather than taking Mr. Collins' hand Elizabeth simply preceded him out of the room. Only when she reached the nearest garden bench did she turn to see if Mr. Collins had followed. He had. Though Elizabeth preferred to meet this particular challenge on her feet Mr. Collins looked nearly done in by the short walk from the house and so she sat that he might.
"Cousin Elizabeth, you can be in no doubt as to why I have asked for this private audience. However much your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble." He began. "My attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with my feelings on the subject, perhaps it would be advisable . . ."
Mr. Collins kept speaking. Elizabeth knew this because his lips were moving but she was no longer listening. She knew what was coming and she thought she knew how she would respond. However; when Mr. Collins spoke of feelings Elizabeth considered her own. Not for him, but for another gentleman.
Her father's earlier careless words and Mr. Darcy's embarrassed response were still playing over in her mind. She wondered why it affected her so. Was her heart already lost? As she thought over the last few weeks of her acquaintance with Mr. Darcy she realized that although she had tried stop it, tried to deny it she could now see that she was in fact a fair way along to being in love with Mr. Darcy. This was not a pleasing realization. She could admit it to herself if to no one else. Of course, it made perfect sense. He was the handsomest man of her acquaintance. He was also the most intelligent and he treated her as an equal in any discussion, listening to her opinions not in a way that placated, dismissed or flattered but to find holes in her arguments, flaws in her reasoning. He defied and challenged her as if she were a peer and this was what likely did her in. This, most likely, conquered whatever meager defenses she had built against him knowing full well he could never be truly hers.
So now what was she to do? Elizabeth suspected he had ruined her for other men. She would not soon meet a man as good looking, nor one as well read or as well-spoken – once you got past his natural defenses – that haughty disdain that had made their initial acquaintance so . . . interesting. Indeed, once you penetrated that he was quite charming. Nor would she likely encounter another man who valued her opinions and courted her impertinence. All in all it probably didn't matter, for she had an inkling that she could encounter a twin of Mr. Darcy and somehow it would not be the same because it would still not be him. This made her irrationally angry at the man himself. How dare he make her fall, nearly fall, in love with him and ruin her chances of making a match of affection anywhere else. Perhaps with time her feelings would fade, but knowing herself Elizabeth did not feel secure in this possibility.
That is why Elizabeth must be forgiven for what she did next. She truly had intended to reject Mr. Collins. Kindly, but firmly. He had not stopped talking as she considered all of these things regarding herself and Mr. Darcy and for Mr. Collins' sake that turned out for the best for when he finally took a breath long enough to allow for a response to her surprise she said, "I thank you for the honor of your offer. Might I have some time to consider it?"