Chapter 5.5
Planet: N/A
Location: The Citadel
Operation Codename: Firebase Yuletide
Presidium, Huerta Memorial Hospital…
"Wow. I know I was complaining about being in the hospital, but of all the excuses I've had to get out early, this has got to be…the best one ever!" Floyd exclaimed as Cerberus gunships fired down on the Presidium. "This is crazy," said Vesna. "Cerberus really must be insane if they think they can attack the Citadel. There's no way they can take this whole place themselves." "I don't know about that," Floyd contradicted. "If they managed to make it to the Presidium so quickly, it's only a matter of time before they take the whole station. And to think, Cerberus just had to attack today of all days!" said Floyd with an annoyed expression. "What do you mean? It's just Tuesday," said Vesna. "It's December 24th! Christmas Eve! The Illusive Man could have at least waited until the 26th to pull this shit off! THIS MEANS WAR!" Floyd roared, pulling on a Santa hat and jumping from the smashed window of their room down to ground floor. Vesna face-palmed and decided to take the elevator like a normal person…
Meanwhile, down in the Wards…
Two Atlases and a squad of Dragoons and Centurions were advancing down the streets, gunning down C-Sec officers left and right. Combat Engineers set up their infamous turrets while terrified civilians ran for cover. Suddenly, the Cerberus squad came upon a lone Quarian tied up and squirming around in the middle of the street. As the squad surrounded her and prepared to open fire, the Engineer's sentry turrets suddenly sparked and began firing on the Cerberus soldiers while the two Atlases began pulverizing each other and then exploded. As the dust cleared, a Turian, a Human, a Krogan, and a Salarian walked out from behind some desks. "See? I told you. Even better than a cluster of EMP mines," said Drakyn. "Derp field truly impressive, Tira'Misu. Must allocate time to carefully analyze this effect," Zeer said. "I wish Floyd had something like that. I'd love to use him as a human land-mine," said Zuren. "You must have a quad to volunteer for a plan like that, Quarian!" Ajax cheered. "I didn't volunteer for this you bosh'tets! Untie me right now!" As Zeer and Ajax untied Tira'Misu, Zuren and Drakyn relieved the Cerberus soldiers of their weapons and thermal clips. "Unreal. I mean, I truly cannot believe this," said Zuren as he looked around at the bodies of slain civilians and C-Sec officers. "I always knew Cerberus was crazy, but enough to attack the Citadel itself? They either must be really bold, or really desperate." "I'm going to say desperate," Drakyn replied as he loaded a Raptor sniper rifle. "Considering how badly we've been hampering their operations all over the galaxy, they must have decided that taking the Citadel would be the best way to deal an equally significant blow to the allied forces." "Well, if we don't find a way to stop them, they'll be right. Any plans?" Zuren asked. "Cerberus' efforts appear to be concentrated on the Presidium. C-Sec's response to the attack has been staggered at best. Cerberus has likely taken control of C-Sec headquarters. We should head there to in order to coordinate our counterattack," said Zeer. "Right. Let's double time it, then. We don't have any time to lose." Suddenly, a squad of Cerberus ORCUS mechs rounded a corner and began firing at the team. "Mechs attacking! Quick! Release the decoy!" Drakyn yelled. "What decoy?!" Tira'Misu called. Suddenly, she felt herself being lifted into the air as Ajax raised her over his head. "Oh Keelah…NOT AGAIN!" she screamed as Ajax hurled her toward the killer robots…
Meanwhile, near Purgatory…
Two Centurions were bearing down on a female Turian and an Asari. They were backed into a corner, and with nowhere else to turn things were looking grim. Suddenly, a blue blur flashed out of nowhere and slid into the Centurions like a baseball player sliding into home base, knocking them into a wall. Springing to her feet, Laelia sprinted towards one of the Centurions. Before he could react, Laelia delivered a powerful kick to his torso, knocking him back even harder into the wall and cracking it. She grabbed the second Centurion by the helmet, flipped him over her head, and slammed him into the floor. Turning towards the Turian and the Asari she just saved, Laelia smiled and said, "You guys should get somewhere safe if you can. Leave the bad guys to me!" "Thank you," said the Turian. "But Cerberus still has people trapped inside the club. Save them!" "I'll have them out of there in no time," Laelia said as she sprinted through the doors. As she entered the club, a Dragoon, a Trooper, and a Nemesis turned toward her and prepared to open fire. Just then, a gout of blood erupted from the sides of each of their heads and they fell down, dead. Laelia looked across the room and saw Asura holding a smoking M-11 Suppressor heavy pistol. "Laelia! You're alright! I was worried," he said. "Surey! I was worried! I wasn't sure if you had made it off of the Presidium," said Laelia. "Yeah, just barely. I left the hospital with Master T when the attack started. He went to go find Commander Shepard, and I ended up here. There are some civilians holed up in some of Purgatory's back rooms. Kolyat has been providing first aid and I've been putting down any Cerberus troops that come this way, but it's been hard with just the two of us." "Well, now that I'm here, I can help you out," Laelia said with a smile. "And not a moment too soon! More Cerberus forces, inbound!" Asura said, checking the reading from his recon mines. Laelia took cover with Asura behind the bar as he passed her a Scorpion heavy pistol while pulling out a Viper sniper rifle. As assault troopers funneled into the bar, they ran over sticky grenades and into a hail of sniper bullets. Just then, the window near the bar's ceiling shattered and Centurions and Phantoms began droppings in. One of the Centurions dropped several cluster grenades onto Asura and Laelia. "DANGER ZONE!" Asura yelled as he jumped behind a kicked-over table while Laelia jumped onto a stage. "Laelia, look out! You're completely exposed up there!" Laelia looked up as the Centurions took aim at her and fired. Springing to her feet and grabbing onto a nearby, vertically-aligned pole, Laelia swung around on it, dodging wave after wave of bullets, spinning, twisting, and twerking out of harm's way. Once the Centurions had exhausted their thermal clips, Laelia biotically grabbed the bar, ripping it out of the floor and threw it at the soldiers. "Hells to the yeah!" Laelia exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air. "Now's our chance to get out of here, Asura. Where are you?" she called. Laelia then saw Asura sprawled out on the floor, blood flowing from his nostrils. "So…flexible…" Asura mumbled in a dazed stupor. "Oh no! Asura's been hurt! Kolyat!" Laelia called. Kolyat came sprinting from the back rooms to Asura's side. "Kolyat, something's wrong with Surey!" Laelia said as Kolyat examined his friend. "Oh dear, what did Asura see this time? Did one of the Phantom's have a wardrobe malfunction? He see one of the dancers running away?" he asked. What does that have to do with anything?" asked Laelia. "Well, sometimes Asura has a violent physical reaction when he sees something-", Kolyat was cut off as a Cerberus shuttle descended into the club. Kolyat ducked and covered while Laelia break-danced across the stage. Suddenly, a loud, throaty roar was heard overhead, as Floyd came crashing through another window, landing on the Cerberus shuttle surrounded in a heavy mass-raising field, sending the shuttle crashing onto Purgatory's lower floors. Clambering up to the VIP level where Laelia was, Floyd brushed off some ash and scrap off of himself. "Jingle all the way, motherfuckers!" he said, giving the downed shuttle the finger. Floyd then straightened his Santa hat and walked over to Laelia, and saw Asura and Kolyat sprawled out on the floor, blood oozing from their noses. "I'm not even going to ask," he said as he kicked them awake. "Wake up, you two! Christmas isn't going to save itself from these assholes." Kolyat and Asura bolted upright. "Oh good. I was afraid you had been really hurt," Laelia said. "Just a case of the local swelling, I'm sure," Floyd said with a sly grin. "The what?" Laelia asked. "And visions of 'sugar plums' 'dancing' in their heads," he continued, making air quotes. "Shut up, Floyd," Asura said, wiping the blood from his face. "So, what are we gonna do now? We should go out and help fight Cerberus, but we have to get these people out of here first," said Laelia. "There is a backdoor they can use. I'll take them to it and we'll find somewhere to bunker down. Meanwhile, you guys can use the rapid-transit sky-cars to fly out of here, but it won't be easy with Cerberus gunships flying all over the place," said Kolyat. "We need a plan to deal with Cerberus. There's gotta be a way to stop them," said Asura. "Just leave it to me. I'm sure I can come up with something," Floyd said with a mischievous grin…
Meanwhile, in the C-Sec academy on the Presidium…
"Zeer, do you have that door open yet?" Zuren called as he fired a Phalanx heavy pistol at an Engineer. "Security protocols on the Presidium use heavy encryption, and this is the Citadel Tower. It won't be easy to get into, even with my skill. Need more time," Zeer calmly said as he punched commands furiously into his Omni-Tool. "Okay, you heard the man! Keep those troopers back!" Zuren yelled as he picked up a Mattock and shot a Nemesis in the arm. Ajax ran out of cover and into a crowd of troopers, punching one in the face, spinning around and slashing another with the Omni-Blade on his shotgun. A Centurion and a Dragoon snuck up behind him while he was beating down an Engineer. Drakyn jumped down from a balcony and landed on them, stabbing them both in the back with his Omni-Blades. "Watch your back, Krogan!" Drakyn yelled as he zapped two Rampart mechs with an overload pulse. "Speak for yourself, birdbrain!" Ajax retorted as he grabbed two more mechs that were charging toward Drakyn and smashed their heads together. Standing back to back in traditional badass fashion, Drakyn and Ajax picked up Cerberus Harriers and began firing into the crowd of troopers surrounding them.
Zuren was running down the street with a Mattock and a Phalanx shooting at everything that moved. Tira'Misu was backing him up throwing out Cryo Blasts and Incineration shots all around. As she shot down a Trooper with her Shuriken machine pistol, she saw three Cerberus gunships preparing to drop more soldiers and Atlases into play, when they were suddenly crashed into by three skycars. Asura and Laelia then landed gracefully on the ground surrounded in biotic auras. As they did, two of the three Atlases that survived the crash began to get up when a voice yelled out, "MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!" And the Atlases were suddenly struck by a rain of biotic grenades, knocking them back down, this time, permanently. Floyd then hit the ground at that moment with an empty burlap sack slung over his shoulder. "Looks like you guys must have been on the naughty list," Floyd said as he straightened his Santa hat. "FLOYD! WHAT. THE. FUCK!" Zuren yelled as he clambered out of the pile of rubble from the crashed skycars. "Oh, 'sup Zuren? Didn't know you were here," Floyd said with a cheery smile. "Obviously! We almost got crushed! What if there were civilians down here?!" Zuren chastised. "But there weren't," Floyd replied. "But what if there were?" "But there weren't." "I don't know why I even bother trying to talk sense into you," Zuren sighed. "What are you even doing out of the hospital? I thought you were still recovering from surgery," he continued. "And the new implants have settled in quite nicely," Floyd replied as he crushed the torso of a crawling Rampart mech under a biotically charged foot and kicked it's head off, sending it flying into the face of a Centurion who was crawling out of the cockpit of his Atlas, knocking him out. "You know, it's the small things in life," Floyd said with a smirk. "And what about Vesna?" Zuren asked. "Wasn't she in the hospital with you?" Suddenly, pieces of Orcus mechs began raining down from a catwalk. Vesna jumped down from the catwalk holding the head of an Orcus mech, crushing it in her cybernetic hand. "Consider the both of us discharged," she said with an icy glare. "Well, looks like the gang is all here," Drakyn said as he and Ajax walked over, covered in blood, oil, and bruises. "Drakey! AJ! Are you guys alright?" Laelia asked. "Wow, those Cerberus dudes really did a number on you, didn't they?" Tira'Misu observed. "What, this?" responded Ajax. "This ain't from Cerberus. Drakyn said I had a small…hump…and so I called his mother a cankerous pyjak and shot him in the face." "Right. A small 'hump'," Asura said with a grin as Ajax punched him across the room. "It's a good thing I had my tech armor active. He tried to shoot me with an Executioner pistol, I'm lucky I still HAVE a face," Drakyn said, rubbing his mandibles. "Not that it would make much difference. Drakyn is so ugly, he—no, no, NO—OW!" Asura yelped as Drakyn walked over and kicked him in the face. "If we're all done trying to rearrange each other's faces, we need to get moving," Zuren spoke up. "Zeer, you done with that door yet?" "Done ten minutes ago," the Salarian called from inside the Citadel council chambers, fiddling around with his Omni-Tool while standing in front of a control terminal. "Trying to hack into the Citadel archives now. More fun than watching you all bicker with each other for the fifth time in one day," he said as he punched a button on the holographic keyboard. "Archive access, granted," a synthetic voice said as several screens popped up. "Yes! I'm invincible!" Zeer cheered, with a huge smirk. "Zeer, stop trying to commit capital computer crimes and-GAH!" Zuren was interrupted as a pulse of energy knocked him onto his back. Looking up from the terminal, Zeer saw a male Cerberus Phantom hovering in the air. Zeer barely had time to react before the Phantom flew down and kicked him in the chest, sending him flying across the platform. Zuren got back on his feet as Floyd, Vesna, and Drakyn ran to his side and began firing at him. The Phantom raised his hand and erected a kinetic barrier, shielding him from the bullets while he punched some buttons on the tower's master terminal. "Ah, wonderful! I now possess the command codes for entire Citadel! Thanks for doing all the heavy lifting for me. I'd have done it myself, but why bother fighting all the way here and wasting time hacking into the Citadel's master control terminal when a bunch of idiots like you just end up doing it anyway?" the Phantom jeered. "YOU!" Vesna yelled, her voice full of rage. "YOU OWE ME AN ARM, YOU BASTARD!" The Phantom looked down and Vesna and a vicious smile appeared on his face. "Well, well. Isn't THIS a treat?! I wasn't expecting to see all of you assholes again so soon! I don't suppose the frog boy is here too?" The Phantom was answered by a bullet whizzing by the side of his helmet. "I did that on purpose! I didn't have to miss!" Asura yelled, lowering a Viper rifle. "I want you to see it coming when I kill you!" "Geez, lighten up, buddy! We're all friends here, right? I mean sure, I've threatened your lives on a few occasions, but I'm not so bad once you get to know me! Look," he said, as he activated his Omni-Tool. "I'm such a nice guy, I'm going to deactivate the Citadel's defenses just so my friends can come in and throw a party for you! I'd offer you cake, but we all know it's a lie!" he cackled, as he pressed a button on his Omni-Tool, deactivating all of the Council tower's automated defenses.
At that moment, three Cerberus gunships and a Kodiak drop-shuttle crashed through a window, opening fire on the squad as the Phantom climbed into the shuttle and began to fly away. "Shit! We can't let him get away with those codes!" Zuren yelled as picked up a Cobra missile launcher and shot down one of the gunships. "Way ahead of you, boss-man! I'll stop him!" Floyd said, as he ran out from cover and jumped out of the broken window and fell through the air into the Citadel's air traffic. Asura wasn't far behind him, followed by Vesna and Laelia. Free-falling through the air, Floyd, Asura, and Laelia powered up their biotics and maneuvered themselves to land on some C-Sec skycars that were pursuing The Phantom's shuttle. Vesna managed to grab onto a skycar that was being flown by a Cerberus Engineer. Prying open it's hatch with her cybernetic arm, she grabbed the man by the throat and said, "You are experiencing a car accident!" and threw him from the vehicle. Driving up to her comrade's position, she opened the hatch and called for them to hop in. Piling into the car, Asura pulled out his Raptor rifle and while Laelia loaded two Locust SMGs. Leaning out the windows, they both began firing on The Phantom's shuttle. The shuttle's hatch then opened as some Centurions leaned out with ML-77 missile launchers and began firing on the C-Sec skycars while some more gunships flew in to provide support. The Phantom himself leaned out of the car holding an M-920 Cain. The Mediciner squad member's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as the telltale red glow of the gun powering up nearly caused all of them to void their bowels. "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" the Phantom yelled as the Cain delivered its payload. "Bail out! BAIL OUT," Floyd yelled as he, Vesna, Laelia, and Asura leapt from the skycar as the Cain round struck it, blowing it, and several C-Sec skycars out of the sky, the shockwave painfully plowing Floyd and Vesna to the ground near the dry-docks of the Presidium's spaceport. Pushing himself up off the ground, Floyd saw the Phantom's shuttle docking with a Cerberus cruiser. Floyd charged up his biotics and focused the most powerful mass effect field he could muster on the large ship. Vesna looked up and saw what he was doing. "Floyd, what the hell are you doing?! You aren't actually trying to-" "Pull a Starkiller? That's exactly what I'm doing!" Floyd said with a laugh. "Don't be ridiculous! No biotic is strong enough to bring down a cruiser! Even Gillian Grayson wasn't THAT powerful! It too big for you!" "Size matters not, V!" "Now isn't the time to be quoting Star Wars! You're gonna kill yourself!" However, Floyd wasn't listening, and muttered to himself, "We can't let that Phantom get away with those codes! Come on Santa! If I ever needed a Christmas miracle, I need one now!" as he flipped a switch on his biotic amp. Floyd's biotics then flared up in a massive nova as he beefed up the mass effect field around the cruiser, stopping it in its tracks as it tried to fly away. On the ship's bridge, the helmsman noted the sudden stop, and the Phantom angrily stormed into the CEC, demanding to know what was going on. "We seem to have lost maneuverability, sir! I don't know what going on; engine power is holding steady, but we're not moving, and we seem to be surrounded by some kind of…biotic field?" the helmsman said as he looked out the window and saw that the ship was enveloped in dark energy. "What the hell is that bastard doing?!" the Phantom said as he felt the ship begin to shake. Back on the ground, Floyd was squeezing out every drop of power he had, straining himself to his limit, when suddenly, the Cerberus cruiser began to tilt…and tilt…and tilt some more…until it was perfectly positioned for a nose-dive. "Christmas pun," Floyd said as he swung his hands down, causing the cruiser plummet towards the lower docks where it collided a large freighter and was crushed against the ship's dense frame, totaling both ships. Collapsing to the ground on his hands and knees, Floyd reached up and flipped back the switch on his amp, causing his biotic aura to flare down and dissipate. Vesna stood speechless as she watched Floyd slowly get back on his feet. "Floyd…how the hell did you do that?" "Let's just say…I'm a bit more powerful…than Gillian Grayson…" he said, massaging his temples. "And 'Christmas pun'? What, you couldn't come up with anything? Hard to imagine you at a loss for words," Vesna said as she looked down at the burning wreckage. "Do you have any idea how much of a brain-drain using that much biotic power is?! I'm sure the gods of irony will cut me a break!" Vesna threw up her hands in a conceding gesture and walked over to a balcony overlooking the docks, facing the Citadel's open end, watching other Cerberus ships fleeing the station and disappearing into the Widow nebula. "Whew, what a DAY. It looks like we won, at least. Cerberus is running scared," she said as she watched a Turian ship gunning down a Cerberus frigate. "We should probably get back to the hospital. I'm sure the others are looking for us, too." "WHAT?! No way! It's Christmas Eve, and I've got presents to deliver! After all this, Santa's gonna need all the help he can get!" Floyd said, jumping over the balcony railing and disappearing into the decks below. Vesna again threw up her hands and made her way back to Huerta Memorial, when she noticed drops of blood following the same path Floyd took…