Say you won't leave me no more
I'll take you back again
No more excuses no, no
'Cos I've heard them all before
A hundred times or more

I'll forgive and forget
If you say you'll never go
'Cos it's true what they say
It's better the devil you know

I'll take you back
I'll take you back again

Kylie Minogue – Better The Devil You Know

With the beginning of second semester, it seemed everyone knew about me and Alec.

It wasn't like we made a secret of our relationship, but we hadn't gone public either. We had each other's backs, and sometimes, Bella snapped at the odd person staring at us the wrong way.

The Loners' Club was rapidly turning into The Gay Rights Club. A few brave students, more curious than anything else, stopped one of us in the hallway or dropped by our table at lunch to ask questions about being gay. Sometimes, I felt like a rare exhibit at the museum, especially when Alec and I kissed, 'cuz that happened at school, too. We were teenagers, after all, like everyone else.

The sad part was the others' parents weren't called at school if they kissed in the hallway or held hands.

"That was completely humiliating," Mom told me one day when they returned from meeting the principal at school.

"I told you I was dating Alec. Remember? At Christmas. You chose to ignore me."

"We thought you were joking," Dad interjected. "So that older rapist got bored of you, and you moved on to someone your age?"

I balled my hands at my sides. Fuck you! Fuck you! Stop saying shit about Jasper.

"What about Bella, darling? She's such a sweet girl," Mom added softly when she saw me growing angry.

"If you haven't noticed, Bella is not exactly my type. Heck, you met Alec! He's been here a lot lately. What the fuck did you think we were doing in my room for hours?"

They both looked horrified. Stunned into silence. They didn't even comment on my curse words.

"Of course, you don't care what I do. You never did. I could hang myself in my room. Whatever."

I turned around, ready to head upstairs, when Dad called my name in a tone I'd never heard him use. It sounded dejected, defeated, resigned.

"Yeah?" I frowned, looking between them.

"We'd like to meet this Alec. Properly. His parents seemed like decent folks."

"Uh, sure." It was my turn to be stunned into silence.

A few days later, on a warm early April morning, I let Alec inside my house, ready for the meeting. He looked nervous, and I didn't blame him. I had no idea what would happen. My parents were unpredictable lately.

We sat on the loveseat, holding hands, facing my parents who were on the couch.

It reminded me of the time they met Jasper when he'd tried bringing me back to them, only to understand why I hated them so much and wanted to escape my family. I quickly pushed away that thought.

They'd changed somewhat since I returned home, but not as much as I wanted. We still weren't communicating enough.

As we talked, Mom seemed genuinely curious of what was happening at school and how everyone was treating us. Even Dad commented on how unjust it was to pick on us. It was like picking on nerds. I tried not to point out that I was a nerd and gay; perfect combination for my peers.

All in all, it appeared they had talked to Alec's parents and had done some research of their own, because they knew about us more than I ever told them. Actually, all I'd told them was Alec and I were dating. They knew about our dates, which creeped me out. Alec caught my eyes, confirming my suspicions—his parents had talked to mine.

Mom even promised to keep an open mind about our relationship. It was a huge step, coming from them. The last time we had this discussion, they thought I was being forced. Back then, they couldn't even conceive maybe, just maybe, I really was gay.

"Sandra offered to take me to PFALG club." Mom beamed.

"It's PFLAG, as in Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays, and it's part of the LGBT community," Alec explained automatically.

"You don't have to," I interjected, elbowing him in the ribs. She wasn't exactly a supportive parent, and as much as I wanted her to understand me and be there for me, it would be too much.

"I want to learn how to be around you," she answered brightly.

That just showed she didn't really understand me at all. "Be yourself. Like you used to be. I haven't changed, Mom. I've always been gay," I said seriously.

Both my parents winced at the word. It was the first I'd said it so calmly and while holding another guy's hand, but they had to see me for who I was.

It was going to be a bumpy ride, but I got them to at least accept I was gay and allow me to have a boyfriend. I considered that itself as a miracle.

OoO

"You sure about this?" Alec shuffled on his feet, stalling.

"Yes. Come in." I dragged him by the sleeve inside Rainbow.

I didn't care if we bumped into Jasper or any of his friends. It was Alec's night and I wanted to have fun.

"You turn eighteen only once." Catching his chin between my thumb and index finger, I pressed my lips to his. "We're going to have fun."

"Drinks on me. The least I can do," he said, caving.

"Okay." I kissed him deeply.

A shot of Vodka later, we hit the dance floor. They were playing T-Rex—I Love To Boogie.

Alec moved sinuously against me, after turning his back to my front. His delectable ass kept rubbing against my half hard dick. It filled as the friction became more and more insistent. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and kissed his neck.

Being with him was as easy as breathing. We never did anything that felt forced. Sometimes, days passed without us kissing or sleeping together. It gave me enough freedom, and didn't make me feel chained. He also loved to surprise me with my favorite candy when he noticed my mood was down, or lately, he had a habit of bringing me flowers for no apparent reason. What surprised me the most was how romantic and attentive he was in bed. I had never experienced that.

Alec opened my eyes to how much more there was to a relationship. Fucking wasn't all. Sometimes a guy needed to be wooed, and Alec knew how to do it.

After a few fast songs, a slow one came on, and I turned him around, my arms loosely linked around his neck. I pressed my temple against his, swaying along with the slow beat of the love song. We had yet to say that magic word, but I was comfortable with what we had. Truthfully, I didn't feel that way. I knew he did, though.

Alec twisted his head to press his lips to my ear. "Love me tender, love me sweet."

A shiver ran down my spine at his voice humming along with Elvis. He'd only graced me with his sweet singing voice twice since I learned he knew how to sing.

My eyes opened when I felt an intense stare. Across the dance floor, near the Backroom door, was a pair of dark blue eyes looking my way.

I gulped thickly.

Everything and everyone disappeared for a fraction of second. It was just the two of us.

My chest hurt.

He cocked his head to the side as if regarding his next move, then the spell broke when a shirtless guy stepped in front of him. They quickly vanished through the door, without even a glance behind.

I wasn't thinking right, because if I were, I wouldn't have pulled Alec that way.

"You know what depravity goes behind that door?" he shouted in my ear over the loud song pumping around us.

"Let's find out."

I'd been there only once with Jasper, and it was amazing.

Once inside the Backroom, Alec squeezed my hand. "We could stay here, near the door."

I wasn't paying attention to him. I had a one-track mind—to find Jasper. I walked aimlessly through the corridors of the maze of the room until I saw him. He was already fucking his trick.

Conveniently, there was an empty spot right in front of him. A low wall separated us. I placed Alec's hands on the wall, next to the other guy's, and bent his head down.

"Don't look around. I promise to make you feel real good." I pecked his cheek. "Happy birthday."

"This is exciting, actually," he admitted as I unzipped his pants and pulled them down.

Jasper watched me intensely as I stroked my dick before rolling a condom on. I ripped the lube foil with my teeth, prepping my boyfriend while looking my ex in the eye.

His eyes widened when I pushed into Alec for the first time. I braced my hands on Alec's shoulders, never breaking eye-contact.

Jasper wet his lips and groaned lowly when I picked up pace. He mimicked my rhythm. It was as if we were fucking each other.

My eyes rolled back as heat exploded in my veins. The way he looked at me was enough to make me lose my mind. When I ran my hand through Alec's hair, Jasper noticed the leather bracelet around my wrist. His head tipped back, but he kept watching me through heavy lids, his mouth slightly opened.

My orgasm took me by surprise. I exploded deep in Alec's ass, and fell on his back, moaning too loudly Jasper's name. I heard him coming a moment after me with a short yell, but no name.

Saying Jasper's name in the throes of passion had never happened, not when I was with Alec. I hoped he was blissfully unaware.

"That was hot." He turned to stare at me amazed, face flushed and eyes alight.

As we redressed, I looked around, but only saw the guy Jasper had fucked. He was buttoning his jeans.

I had no idea where Jasper had gone, but I felt horrible. I used Alec to get my pleasure while imagining I was with Jasper.

My insides twisted.

I was such a sick bastard.

"Uh, I need the bathroom," I told Alec once we left that sinful room.

"I'll be at the bar."

At the urinals, I had the misfortune to land right next to my nemesis. He snatched me into a stall, locking the door and pressing me against it, then he kissed me as if the world was ending. I kissed him right back, clawing at his clothes.

Jasper turned me around so I was facing the wall, pushed my jeans and boxers down, before pushing two fingers into me. I moaned loudly, throwing my head back. Even though it itched, considering no one had been there since him, the feeling diminished when he added lube. Then he gave me his cock, and I moaned even louder.

He cupped a hand over my mouth, moving urgently against me.

The whole thing was over too soon for my liking. I hadn't felt so alive since the last time I'd been with him.

I had no clue what just happened between us, not here, not in the Backroom, but it made me feel like we hadn't been separated at all.

After buckling my jeans, I turned around. "I miss you." In front of me was a wall. The stall was empty.

I felt empty.

I questioned if it had been my imagination, but then I saw the used condom floating in the toilet.

Fuck.

It was worse than what I'd done to Alec.

What Jasper did to me…

I turned toward the bowl and retched.

He made me feel cheap.

Why the fuck did he choose to hurt me like that?

I hadn't done shit to him.

So what if I slept with the only guy my age I liked? It happened in his bed. So what? It was a stupid move, but he fucked around a lot. A few doors away from me when we lived together.

I heaved again in the toilet. I never knew I could be physically sick quite so literally.

"You okay in there, sweetcheeks?" A light, concerned voice asked from behind me.

"Yeah." I got up, flushed the toilet, and went to rinse my mouth.

"Did you combine drinks?" The same voice asked.

I raised my head to meet a pair of dark eyes in the mirror. The guy behind me wore mascara and lipstick, and had spiked, short dark hair. He looked decent for a drag queen.

"Yeah, something like that," I lied.

"Is anyone with you here? I'll help you find him."

That was really nice of him. I felt really weak. "Sure. Thanks. I'm Edward," I said, taking his offered hand. I noticed his nails were red.

"Liza."

"Like Liza Minelli?" I chuckled.

"Unless you want my real name—Seth."

"Nice to meet you. So, do you sing?"

"I'm pretty good. Come to my show. This Saturday." He gave me a ticket from his purse.

"Do you mind me asking for two?" I gave him a nervous smile.

"It's plus one." He pointed to something on the ticket. I couldn't see much due to the bad lightening in the club.

"Right. Thanks, Seth. I mean Liza."

He laughed, shaking his head.

"There you are!" Alec came barreling at me. "Oh, hi." He glanced at Seth.

I introduced them before saying goodbye and promising to go to his show.

On the cab ride home, Alec noticed there was something off with me.

"Something happened in the bathroom. Actually, in that room, didn't it?"

I bit my lip, and kept my eyes closed. "Sorry if I ruined the mood. I guess Vodka isn't my drink."

"Bullshit. I saw Jasper."

"You did?" I gasped. I couldn't breathe anymore. He knew.

How was that possible? I'd kept his head down so he wouldn't see Jasper.

"Yeah. He stormed out of the bathroom and headed out the door, bumping into people."

I sighed in relief. "Oh, yeah. How did he look? Angry?"

Alec shook his head, looking at me curiously. "He was far away, but I think…he was…crying."

My heart leapt in my throat then fell into my stomach, shattering into a million pieces.

Why, Jasper?

Why are you an idiot?

You love me too.

"We saw each other," I admitted.

"He seemed affected."

I didn't say anything to that.

"Well, this is me. Call me tomorrow, baby." He kissed me goodbye, making the cabbie clear his throat.

Homophobic asshole.

Once Alec was inside his house, I gave the cabbie Jasper's address.

We had a lot to talk about.

If he thought I wouldn't visit after what he'd done, then he was a moron. Four months of nothing, and then we meet, and he screws me over. Quite literally.

When he finally opened the door of his house, I'd been standing on his porch for a good five minutes ringing the bell and knocking. He was leaning against the jamb, dressed only in pajama bottoms and holding a bottle of scotch.

"Pretty Boy!" He grabbed a handful of my jacket and pulled me inside.

I stumbled over my feet. My heart did a somersault at the mention of my nickname, but we weren't going to cave for that. No. We were strong and wanted an explanation. Or so my brain wanted to believe.

"You're drunk." I closed the door and locked it behind me.

"Nah. So, whatcha doing here? Did I remind you how it was and you came back for another round?"

"I wanted to talk, but clearly you're too drunk to hold yourself, let alone a conversation." I rolled my eyes when he swayed, looking at me with an entertained expression.

Jasper pointed a finger at my chest, jabbing my pectoral in the process. "You were a naughty boy tonight." He actually giggled.

"Jeez." I took hold of his elbow when he lost equilibrium and nearly toppled over me. "I'm taking you to bed."

"I knew you wanted more. There's plenty where that came from—"

"Shut up, will you? Tonight was a huge mistake." I dragged him up the stairs with a lot of difficulty. I was still a frail teenager, while Jasper was one hundred and eighty pounds of muscle. Once in his room, I sat him on the bed, making sure he was lying down. "Now, sleep it off."

"Don't go, Pretty Boy. Stay a while." He slurred the words, reaching for my hand and missing, which made him pout.

My resolve broke when I saw the state he was in. I didn't remember him being a clingy drunk. He was usually just horny.

As I sat next to him, with my knees tucked under my chin, I contemplated whether or not it was moral to take advantage of his inebriated state and ask the question I wanted. He'd tell me the truth, but I couldn't do that. I'd done enough damage for one night.

After a while, I lay next to him and stared at his ceiling. It reminded me of our first time and his proposal. Well, his ceiling was a boring white.

"Your ceiling sucks," I joked.

It made him laugh loudly. "I can't believe what an idiot I was. I should have known you were too young and innocent to even understand my suggestion of coming over to my place."

"Yup. That's me—little, naïve Edward."

Jasper turned his head to look at me, sobering somewhat. "You're dating the kid?"

"Who, Alec? Yeah. I guess." I kept my eyes on the ceiling, not blinking, not moving an inch.

"He's kinda cute."

"He is." My eyes watered from not blinking, and from the overwhelming emotions attacking me. "I think he loves me."

"Don't you?" He rolled on his side, moving a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"No, but I like him. A lot."

"But you don't love him?"

I met his eyes—wide, curious azures. "Why the sudden interest in my love life?"

"Despite what you think, I want you happy," he murmured, tracing a finger on the side of my face. Goosebumps appeared all over my body.

"You have no idea what I think, what I want. If you cared, you wouldn't have left."

"It hurt like a motherfucker to see you naked in my bed with that kid," he admitted, never taking his eyes off mine.

"His name is Alec."

Jasper stared with a look that clearly said "Your point?"

I cleared my throat, lifting myself a little on my elbow and bringing our faces closer in the process. "Why didn't you come after me? I know you feel something. I saw the engraving on the bracelet."

He seemed surprised by that piece of information. "You did?"

"It's beautiful." I raised my left hand, admiring the cuff. "Thank you."

Smiling, Jasper pulled off my glasses and placed them on the nightstand, before closing the gap between us. His lips were as soft as I remembered. He tasted of nicotine and booze, but underneath that he was still Jasper—my first love.

"I'm so sorry for earlier. I have no idea what came over me. I had to—" He broke off, resting his forehead against mine. "I had to claim you."

"Yeah, it was pretty sick. And I hate to say it, but if you want another go, it's not happening."

He drew back. "Of course, you're dating that guy."

Alec! What is it with him and avoiding saying his name? "Alec, yes. Though, that's not why. I mean, it has to do with it, but you see… I don't want to make you feel worse. It kinda hurts," I blurted, looking anywhere but at him.

"Fucking shit!" He cursed, cupping my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I should have prepared you better, been more careful. Not done it at all!"

I gulped, taking his face between my hands. He had a day's worth of stubble, and I loved that rough feeling under my palms. "You were the only one."

His eyes flashed, then he sat on his knees. "Roll over." He grabbed something from the bedside table. I did as told, too dazed to think straight. "When you say I was the only one…what do you mean?"

The white flag appeared in my head—abort mission. He was too drunk to have that conversation.

I went with part of the truth, when I realized he truly wanted an answer. "I mean, no one's fucked me. There's only been Alec, but I'm the top." And you're the only one I'll ever love, but it's too soon for you to hear that, I added in my head.

Jasper cursed under his breath, pushing my pants and underwear down. I felt his cool fingers rubbing some sort of gel along my crack. It made me shift uncomfortably.

"What did I just tell you?" I said, unsure what the hell he was doing. I really wasn't up for round two.

"Will you stay still? It's lotion—to soothe the pain."

"Oh. Okay." I settled, allowing him to do the aftercare. He was so gentle, showing me a side of him I rarely saw.

Jasper might never say the words, but he showed me. He always had—protecting me from my parents, asking if I was bullied at school, buying me breakfast, trying to make me breakfast when he had no idea how to cook, taking care of my hangover ass, even though it hurt him to see me with another, chiding his friends for giving me alcohol, buying me the bracelet.

I love you too, I said in my head, closing my eyes.

Too much? Too soon?

See you on Wednesday for the teaser and Sunday for the update! :)