The past week at work Sam only thought he had been antsy to see Andy, but after what he heard from Collins his need to see her turned from impatience to an outright force demanding to be reckoned with. He may have let her sleep the night before, but first thing on Saturday morning he was at her door only to find she wasn't home. He came back twice more, but still no Andy. Sunday was more of the same – Collins said she still loves me! I have to see her! - He'd be relentless if he had to. She still wasn't home when he came back Sunday morning and then again Sunday evening – My God, Where the Hell has she been all weekend?! - Driving around trying to think, he decided to give in and call Traci. Surely she knew where Andy would be. After a few rings, Traci saw the caller ID and greeted 'Hey Sam what's up? Is there a case… need me to come in?' 'Uh Yeah… No, Listen… I'm trying to track down McNally. Have you seen her?' She heard Sam say in response. Smiling at this, Traci offered 'Yeah, actually she just left my place after dinner. Give her about 30 minutes and she should be home.' 'Thanks Traci – I owe you!' Sam said in a rush. Grinning to herself, Traci replied 'Just go get your girl Swarek!' Throwing his truck around in the direction of St. Helen's Avenue, Sam pulled up outside Andy's condo. Looking towards her window he saw that her lights were on, but she wasn't alone. Only then did he notice Collins' truck parked across the street. Letting out a frustrated breath, he reaffirmed his resolve…. He would wait. He would wait Nick out, and head up to her apartment as soon as Collins left. Pushing the seat of his truck back a little further and settling in for who knew how long, he sat hold-up waiting for his chance. He waited… and waited…. Damn it Collins, we all have to work in the morning! Leave already! He tried not to pay too much attention to the two shadows… tried not to notice how close they stood or how naturally they both moved through the apartment. He kept waiting, but eventually her lights went out and Collins never left.
The next morning Andy and Nick made their way to headquarters. Steeling her nerves, Andy dialed Sam as she and Nick walked from her building. 'Andy!?' Sam answered. His voice was thick with sleep and she could tell she had woken him up. She was almost to Nick's car, when she heard the echo of her neighborhood garbage truck coming through Sam's phone. She looked down the street only to make eye contact with a set of tired brown eyes sitting behind the wheel of a big sliver Ford. Still holding the phone to her ear, she glanced at Nick, and started walking towards the truck. 'Sam? What… what are you doing here?' she asked still trying to understand what she was seeing. Making her way to his truck, she took in the sight of him…. Eyelids heavy, day old stubble. Closing her phone as he stepped out of the truck, she greeted him with concerned eyes 'Sam, what's going on? Did…did you sleep out here?! Are you ok?' Not exactly sure exactly how to explain, he looked down before looking back at her with a small smirk and saying 'Yeah looks that way doesn't it.' Before he lost his nerve he continued, 'Look, Andy, I needed to see you.' 'Uh yeah ok… I actually needed to speak with you too. I just didn't expect to find you sleeping outside my apartment,' she answered with a small smile trying to ease the awkwardness. When he didn't offer further explanation, she continued 'Look I'm going to be late, but could you meet us down at headquarters? See… I called this morning because I was going to ask you a favor… I needed to see if you would work with me and Nick this week? He's going to go under for the Hill task force and I need… well… I want your help with his cover story. Listen, I know things have been strained with us, but that doesn't change the fact that you still know Hill like the back of your hand and the task force will be weaker without you…' she rambled on nervously. 'So do you mind? Will you come?' she finished. Surprised by her request and not wanting to make her any later than he had already, He just nodded. 'Uhh… yeah… ok. Uh just let me get cleaned up and I'll be down….. And Andy… Mind letting me give you a ride home after? Seems your pleading ramble has left me without time to speak…' trying to tease her with a dimpled smirk. Her voice was tentative, but the slight upturn of her lips didn't go unnoticed as she nodded ok, taking a few steps backwards, before turning back to Nick. He watched her turn and climb into Collins' truck.
Shaking his head, he got in his own truck and drove to his house to shower before going down to headquarters. Waking up outside her apartment was not what he had planned… helping Collins and Callahan with a task force had also not been on his 'To Do List', but no way was he going to refuse her request.
'Everything ok?' Nick asked as she climbed in the passenger seat. 'Uh yeah I guess so…' she replied, still a little bewildered by the exchange. 'He's has to go home first but he said he'd meet us at HQ.' Nick didn't press her for more. He knew he his admission at the Penny had been a jolt for Swarek, though he hadn't expected to find him holding vigil by Andy's apartment. 'This was going to be a very awkward week', he told himself.
Andy and Nick arrived at headquarters just after Luke and Blackstone. Andy confirmed that Sam was in and would be coming down to meet them. Luke, still none too thrilled, just nodded and muttered 'Anything for you, Andy' only slightly under his breath. When Sam arrived, the five of them did their best to put their personal feelings aside and get down to business… ignoring Luke's comment, 'Better late than never, Sammy.' They briefed Sam on the task force and eventually the group began brainstorming a cover story and a way to get Nick into Hill's organization. Finally deciding to wrap it up for the evening, Luke dismissed them. Walking out to the parking lot Andy slowed to a halt, seeing Sam waiting at his truck. Slowing his pace with her, Nick put his hand on the back of her shoulder as if to prompt her forward. 'Go ahead,' he said. 'Do what you need to do. I'll be there when you get home.' Smiling gratefully at him, Andy nodded and walked on towards Sam. Andy didn't know how this car ride home would end up, but she felt like it was the least she could do after Sam's willingness to help. Not to mention maybe she'd find out more about his strange new sleeping habits.
Seeing her stop as she walked out with Nick, Sam held his breath, only to release it has he closed the passenger door behind her. 'Ok Swarek, she's in your truck…. closer than she's been in a very long time,' he reassured himself. Getting in and cranking the ignition, he pulled out in the direction of Andy's. The ride was silent at first, neither knowing exactly what to say. Feeling awkward, Andy finally said 'Sooo twice in a matter of months I've found you sleeping in your truck… you going to tell me what that's all about?' 'Oh you know, was just trying something new,' he replied. Picking up on the double meaning implied, Andy asked 'Yeah? How's that been working for you?' 'Not well,' he threw back quickly. 'I'm sorry,' she offered genuinely… actually feeling of bad for him. As far as she could tell, Sam had really cared for Marlo, so Andy figured the breakup had probably taken a toll on him too. Coming to a stoplight, Andy turned towards him and ever so slightly rested her hand on his arm – snapping him to attention. 'Seriously, Sam… What's going on? Why were you parked outside my building this morning? Why are you driving me home?' He knew he needed to say something, but he also knew that there was no way he could have this conversation and drive at the same time. A few more blocks and her building came into view. He pulled over saying 'Uh yeah, you're right I want to talk… but uh you think I can come up?' When he told her he wanted to give her a ride home, she hadn't thought about the possibility of his wanting to come up to her apartment. How would she explain Nick practically living there with her for the last week before his UC? 'Well actually, maybe we should find someplace else… Nick's at my place. We sort of decided to stay together for this last week…' she explained as she fumbled for the right words. 'Oh uh, yeah sure... course… I shouldn't have assumed,' Sam said – trying really hard not to think about the message Andy had left for him the night he went under 'I'm tired of saving the good candy…We have three weeks… let's make them count… I'm coming over.' He did NOT want to think about Andy eating candy with Collins!
Not knowing where else to go, they just sat quietly in the truck. Finally, Sam spoke up. 'Listen Andy, I've been trying to find you all weekend. I came over on Friday, but you were just getting home with Collins.' Sam cleared his throat before continuing, suddenly finding it dry as he recalled images of Andy and Nick in a lip-lock. Watching his expression shift, Andy knew Sam had seen them kissing goodnight…. She cringed a little at the thought. 'I ran into Collins at the Penny that night… he probably told you most of the story… needless to say probably not one of my finer moments. He told me then about his going under, and I needed to see you. I came back three times on Saturday and again on Sunday but at first you weren't home and then Collins was there so I waited.' 'Ok…' she said in response, waiting for him to go on. When he paused again, she encouraged him to continue. 'Sam, you said you needed to see me... and I'm here now. So, please, tell me what you need… Why did you need to see me?' Taking a breath and pinching the bridge of his nose, he began again. 'Last week when I saw you and Collins in the office with Frank, Callahan and Blackstone, I guess I jumped the gun and thought you might be going under again. I know I have no say so in what you do or where you go, but the thought of you leaving again… Well I didn't want to think about that being a possibility. So when I pulled you in the interview room and you told me you weren't going under, I was relieved. But then you never showed up to work or the Penny for the rest of the week and part of me wondered if maybe you really had left. Frank told me you were at headquarters, but I just needed to see for myself.' Deciding to up the ante, he went on. 'You see, I once had this rookie that kept hounding me about being such a control freak,' giving Andy a small smile before sharing more. 'And fact is… She was right…. I worried about her all the time. I had to be with her all the time… Be in control… Be able to protect her. Then one day I realized that this was impossible…. And I didn't handle that revelation well. I thought if I wasn't around her I wouldn't worry as much, but then she left and I didn't even know where she was or when she was coming back and I didn't cope. Andy, I didn't want… I don't want to go through that again, but it's not my place to hold you back. When Collins told me about the task force, I knew you wouldn't be able to go with him. I knew you had gotten burned with me while we were trying to help Emily. I guess I'm worried you'd be upset or disappointed that you can't go with him… upset that our past got in the way of your future. Andy, I'm sorry if I messed this up for you.'
Andy sat astonished, trying to compute all that he had shared and trying to formulate a response. 'Wow… that's a lot to take in. Thank you for telling me all this… I'm sure it probably wasn't the easiest, and I'm so sorry that my going under during Dakota hurt you. I mean I knew when I left, you and I were in a very rocky place; and honestly, I tried not to think about what my leaving might have meant to you. But when I got back and you were with Marlo, I figured you managed pretty well without me. As for going under again for this task force, no I hadn't wanted to go. I mean, I would have - if the circumstances had been different. I would have gone with Nick solely because he's my partner and we've been a good team, but I wouldn't have really wanted to. Things may not have been what I expected when I got back, but with time I've realized that I'm still glad to be home. Laying her hand on his forearm, she went on 'Thank you again for helping us this week. Getting your help was the best way I knew to have my partner's back.' With a small squeeze to his arm, she turned to exit the truck.
'Andy…' He said, reaching out to grab her hand before she could get away. 'One more thing I needed to know… Uh, is it true… do you still love me?' She was flabbergasted, her jaw dropping to the ground and her heart to her stomach…. Had he really just asked her that? Shaking herself back to reality, she gathered her words. 'Sam, you are part of my history – a part of who I am - and though our circumstances have changed, I will always care about you… I think it would be impossible for me not to.' Accepting her answer, he released her hand and let her go. She hadn't said love, but she did say she cared. Maybe he could build on that.
She watched as he drove off, sitting on a bench outside her building trying to sort through what just happened. If the truth be known, of course she loved him… never stopped… part of her afraid that she always would. - But these days she didn't trust her love… didn't trust that she could be brave enough to feel it again.
The team all returned to headquarters the next day. Neither Sam nor Andy mentioned anything else about their heart to heart. Sam had always been proud of the cop that Andy had become; but watching her work and listening to her suggestions, he realized that she had become even better. She was still courageous, but now she was also calculating. Planning an UC op was very different from working one. Working UC, you had to be good at shooting from the cuff and thinking on your feet. Planning an op was more like a chess game. You have to think ahead. You have to plan for every possible move your target might make – a calculating strategy was a must. Seeing her in this setting, he realized Andy McNally was good at both. They focused their attentions down to some of the finer details of the op and began ironing out some of the possible kinks. Wrapping up, they headed in separate directions for the night. Andy and Nick were back to going for their routine round at the Penny. And Sam was back to his usual drink with Oliver, having to try even harder now not to stare at Andy.
Wednesday came and they returned to the drawing board. As the week wore on and Friday loomed ahead of them, Andy was feeling more and more uneasy. She finally admitted to herself what was bothering her - she didn't like Jacob Blackstone. She hadn't forgotten the stunt he pulled during Dakota… barging in with a sawed off shotgun. She realized he was too cavalier. He was dangerous. Trusting her gut, she blurted out 'This isn't going to work! Jacob, you aren't going to work! I think Sam should be Nick's handler.' She stood up, not backing down despite the four sets of eyes that were all staring at her like she had three heads. 'Look, I know being under you have to be flexible and role with the punches, but running a UC you have to be thoughtful… be able to predict… know your target's moves. Nobody knows Hill's moves like Sam. If things go sideways Sam can predict what Hill will do next. He has to be the one. Sam, you have to be the handler.' This time it was Sam's turn to be flabbergasted. Looking at her the same way he did when she first asked to borrow his truck, he was sure he hadn't heard her right…. 'You asked me to come down here for the week and help, and now you want me to be the handler? Andy, I have a full caseload… I'm not a Guns and Gangs detective… I can't take this on.' 'Can't or won't Sam?' she challenged. 'Come on, you know you are the best guy to handle this op! You know how this works; being the handler doesn't have to be fulltime... Let someone else man the wire room… You can be contacted as needed… You'll meet Nick on occasion.' She wasn't going to back down.
The others sat back, still shocked by Andy's outburst. Luke scoffed and shook his head… 'Unbelievable!' He spat. Jacob, leaned back in his chair with an arrogant smirk… watching the entertainment. But Nick, Nick focused on his partner. He listened to her words and recognized her sincerity. No way in hell would this be easy or comfortable, but she really believed this would be the best way and he was going to trust her. Sitting up straighter, he spoke. 'She's right. She's my partner and she's trying to have my back. So I guess if I'm still going to do this, Swarek's going to be the handler.' Now it was Nick who was being ogled at. Luke sat dumbstruck. Jacob just huffed out a laugh and walked out saying, 'No sweat of my back... I'm gone.' As for Sam, he just sat there. He thought he'd probably do anything for Andy, but this… working long-term with Callahan AND Collins…. This takes the cake! Closing his eyes he ran a hand down over his face. 'Andy…' he started, but it was Luke's voice that cut him off. 'Forget it Swarek… Blackstone's gone and you're the only choice we have. Looks like you're in whether we like it or not.' With that, Luke got up and walked out. Saying as he went, 'I'll go call Frank.'
So that was that. Sam was going to be Nick's handler. Sam Swarek was going to be the only tie between Nick and real life… the only tie between Nick Collins and Andy. The three sat there wordlessly, for what seemed like forever, before Luke came back and waved them off saying, 'Seeing as this day is shot to hell... go home… get your heads straight and we'll start over tomorrow.' Walking out, Andy stopped them. 'Listen, I know I overstepped my bounds today,' she acknowledged as she looked between Nick and Sam. 'I know I pulled the rug out from under everyone in there…. But I was following my gut – the way I was taught,' she said looking up at Sam. 'I'm sorry if I've made things worse for either of you.'
Sam listened as she tried to explain herself; but he needed some space to sort the barrage of thoughts that were coursing through his brain…. And he suspected Collins did too. They parted ways no one having anything else to say other than some version of 'Yeah, sure…. See you in the morning.' Andy and Nick drove back to her place. He went out for a run. Andy stayed behind and tried to lose herself in a hot bath and Sam was at his place pacing the floor.
Thursday came and went. This time, it really was what it was, and all any of them could do was be professional and get it done. The cover story was in place…. Foolproof, just as Andy suspected. Nick had an entry into the Hills business and Luke, Sam and Frank had sorted out Sam's workload and responsibilities. They were ready. This op would bring down Anton Hill. Having nothing else to do but wait, they shook hands and agreed to meet back at the barn Friday night set Nick on his way.