As the Rain Pours

There were faces everywhere. People I loved, people I liked, and people I hated. They were everywhere and I was trapped beneath their gaze. I was sitting pathetically in the white dress, looking up at them with tears streaming from my eyes. I saw a ballerina-shoe-clad foot step forwards, out of the circle and near me.

"Why did you run away from me? Was I a bad friend? Why do you hate me?" Quinn asked accusingly. I felt the hurt beneath her words. I tried to tell her that I didn't run away from her, that she was keeping me grounded, that she was my best friend and that I loved her, but the words stuck in my mouth. The silky material of my dress slid under my fingers as I grasped it, just to grab something. Quinn was crying now. Why did she think that I hated her? It made me so… so angry! How could she ever think that?!

"You're such a bitch Santana, you won't even answer me!" she said and suddenly her tears were gone and wrath was in its place.

"You had everything, Santana. Mom and dad gaveyoueverything. You're so spoiled and ungrateful. Look what I got, I've got nothing! You're tossing about you with your fortune and you don't even care!" Marco, my beloved big brother said, looking down at me with the eyes that matched mine. No, he had just as much. I didn't ask for this, I wanted to share with him. He had turned me down when I asked him to move in permanently. I wasn't the bad guy here! He was being unfair. I grasped tighter at the material of my dress, but I couldn't hold on. I felt the force on the back of my head from the veil as it heaved me down. Why was I in a wedding dress? Where was I? Why were they all so mad at me?

Then lips were on mine, greedily so, and pushed me onto my back. Her lips on mine and I was melting into her, disappearing in the warmth of her. I felt her everywhere, her hands were everywhere, roaming over my body possessively, her tongue was delving in my mouth but her torso was gone. I sought it, sought the comfort of feeling my hands on her heart, feeling her heartbeat, but she pulled back, smirking.

"That's all I am to you, isn't it?" she husked in my ear before pulling at my earlobe with her teeth.

"No" I whimpered and shook my head the best I could, under her grasp. I had said a word, I was resurfacing. "I-I" I tried to speak but my throat constricted again and her lips silenced me, her knees pressing against my hips as she tangled her hands in my hair.

"That's all I'll ever be to you" she whispered and pulled back. I sought the blue eyes that always gave me comfort, but she was gone, and I was pushed back. The earth disappeared beneath me and I screamed, feeling the air leave my body as I disappeared in the darkness. I tried to scream for her to save me but the words wouldn't come out

"No!"

It was raining, like really hard. God, I hated when it was raining, when I wanted to go outside. I had woken up at what I thought was around 3am, but had found it to be almost 8am. The sky outside was covered by gloomy dark blue-grey skies that had seemed to decide to pour an entire oceans worth of water out. The pool was in uproar caused by the massive drops of water colliding with the surface. It was nature's chaos colliding with a creation of man. How fitting, that nature still overpowered man.

I had always thought that those who thought nature was controllable were blind fools. Nature is everywhere, in our hearts and in what we see with our eyes, it's in what we eat and what we smell, and yet people think they can control it? Can they control the taste of a salad leaf or the smell of a rose? Can they decide the direction of a hurricane or how the heart chooses to love? I think that this perspective was what had made me accept who I was more. My heart was a part of nature and feelings shouldn't be explained through chemical reactions in the brain or impulses. As much as I admired science and what it had accomplished, there was no use in trying to explain love. Even if they could, wasn't that a part of life's mystery? It confused and fascinated me at the same time. I cherished my feelings, even if they were wrong or just really badly timed or placed, because they made me feel alive.It was how I felt when I was with people I actually liked, when I was just being me. I wasn't fighting a war, like the rain and the pool seemed to be, I was living, flying almost. I looked at how the rain fought the pool again, and it made me feel strangely of dancing. Of tango, or something, where you throw yourself at your partner and when you recoil they melt into you. How wrong I was. The rain wasn't fighting the pool, they were melting together. They were becoming one, like in a dance or like love. Suddenly, the rain didn't seem all that bad. It was what made the trees grow tall and what made the air fresh and clean. It melted into its element even if this was man-made, careless of that. It didn't care.

God, what was I thinking? Rain couldn't think. It was just molecular structures and the result of nature's eternal cycle.

I shook my head and threw away the philosophic, almost romantic thoughts away, wondering how they had got there in the first place, and walked into the living-room. It was unnaturally cold, though that was mostly caused by my very limited amount of clothes. I shuddered slightly and made to pour water into the coffee-machine. I remembered the nightmare from last night. It was probably the book I was reading, which was getting to me. The only other book I'd brought was a book Quinn had convinced me to read,Skipping Towards Gamorrah. It was actually pretty good, though I'd read the first chapter to Quinn and told her it was shit. She'd taken it back but I'd stolen it with me, and she hadn't complained.

There was a subtle knock on the door and I realized that I was still in my undies and bra as the only thing. Capital 'g' great! The knock became insistent and I looked around panicking. God… Okay, play this cool. I walked to the door and hid behind it as I opened it a crack. Of course it was Brittany. I blushed furiously and shut the door in her head, thinking suddenly about my attire and the dream I'd had of her. She'd been kissing me. God, those lips… but she'd accused me of pure lust. There was another knock and I felt how my heart attempted to flee from my body. I opened again, just a crack, but Brittany pushed it open further, enough to get a clear visual of my body. She turned bright red and turned around, coughing and holding her arms tight across her chest, looking down at the ground as she kicked it. I couldn't help but smile. Then I saw how her clothes were getting drenched by the second.

"Get in" I said. "Come on Britt, get in; you'll get sick"

"W-would you please dress?" she asked, still not moving.

"Yeah, sure. Just get the hell inside girl. I'll go now and you just count to three or something and then turn around and get in?" I asked. She nodded and counted out loud. I resisted the urge to keep standing there and posing alluringly, and ran into my bedroom and shut the door. The sound of the rain was muffled by the door and I flung open my closet and took the first thing I found. A T-shirt with the words, 'kiss me'… okay, not good! I threw it on the bed and drew out another. Okay, that was pretty neutral, a black tank-top, though very low cut. I grabbed a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and threw them on. I grabbed a light jacket and threw that over my arms, feeling cold. I walked back into the living room and saw Brittany standing drenched to the bone, looking at the ground with her face still bright red.

"Sorry about that" I said with a nervous giggle. She didn't look up, just shook her head.

"I-I was just um… It's raining" she said. I smiled fondly at her and walked to her, laying a hand on her still crossed arms. Her head dashed up and her eyes flickered wildly between mine before settling for a calm stare. It wasn't even awkward, staring at her. I think maybe it was for her, given what she'd seen, my panties had after all been… not very disguising, to say the least. Then I remembered my dream and how she'd bit my ear and how she'd pushed me back and straddled me. Okay, then it became awkward… But still, I didn't look away. The only thing was that her eyes weren't there in my dream; she wouldn't let me see her face but now she was staring at me. She shuffled closer and I felt my heart race even wilder than before. I held her gaze, but suddenly, her eyes flickered downwards. I jerked back, knowing that look a little too well.

"You're wet" I said without thinking. The glimpse of humor in her eyes made me gasp and I slapped my forehead, my entire body warming up, seeming to make every inch of my skin blush in embarrassment. Why the hell did I have to say that?!But she is…Oh for the love of… Get the hell out of my head, damn R-rated thoughts and stupid perverted dreams! It was so… so frustrating! And not just inthatway.

"I wondered if you wanted to watch a movie with me…" Brittany said, breaking the silence again and making me look at her. We were both pretty red in the faces and even as I spoke, I felt a new surge of warmth, though this wasn't caused by embarrassed blushing.

"Sure, we could do that… but we've got to find you some dry clothes first, don't we?" I asked, trying to miserably fix my mistake. It wasn't really going very well.

She snorted a single short laugh and nodded, pulling at her t-shirt which was – I noticed that now – quite see through. She was pulling it out so it hung loosely over her body as she looked at it.

"I should've taken an umbrella" she said with a pout, her cheeks still slightly pink.

"I have a Onesie you can borrow if you want?" I asked.

"I don't think that's very waterproof" She said, scrunching her nose.

"To wear, silly" I said. She smiled sheepishly and nodded. I walked back into the bedroom and retrieved an old Onesie with space rockets on it. She giggled when I handed it to her.

"It's ancient" I said, trying to preserve some dignity. She just bit her lip, still giggling.

"There's a towel in the bathroom" I said and let her walk past me into the bathroom. Okay, so that was… embarrassing. I looked around for something to occupy myself with that didn't involve thinking about the amount of clothes Britt would be wearing right about now. Okay, what kind of perv am I?! Right, movie. Um, yeah I had those somewhere. I looked around randomly for a bit before remembering that they were in the bottom of my closet.

Okay, so I had Sweet Valley High, 500 Days of summer, more Sweet Valley High, Lion King, even more freaking Sweet Valley High – I'm really obsessed with this show –, 300 and 10 things I hate about you. Mainstream dork! She liked Disney, right? I took the Lion King DVD and my computer, which was in a bag next to it, and walked back into the living room. Brittany was sitting in my Onesie in the couch, hugging her knees and clearly feeling very cold. I decided that the movie could wait a bit. I walked to her and sat down, silently wrapping my arms around her, and feeling her curl hers around my waist, pulling me closer, begging for warmth of some sort. I heard how her breath was kind of shaky and how her heart fought to warm up her cool body. I rubbed my hand along her back forcefully, trying to warm her up. Of course, I could easily think of a better way to warm her up, but I didn't really think that was appropriate. She wiggled her head under my chin and pressed her ear to my heart. It took some force but I managed to pull her closer so that she was practically sitting on my lap, curled into a ball like after I met Mercedes here. Even though she was bigger than me, she seemed small in my arms. It still somehow surprised me how fragile she was. Shereallywas fragile and she was easily broken. That was still my reason for keeping away the best I could; she was broken and she didn't need for me to confuse her any more than she already was. I just wish… I really, really just wished that there was something I could do to help her. Maybe there already was.

As the movie started playing I felt Brittany shift to watch the screen. I also felt the goose bumps on her arms as the song softly played in front of us and I discovered I had goose bumps too.

"You could've just texted you know. I would've been right over" I said as I felt her shift slightly again for a better view at the screen.

"I didn't want Sugar teasing us" she said and leaned back to let her head rest on mine. I smiled and I knew she could feel it on her cheek.

"Why so shy all of a sudden?" I asked teasingly.

"I'm breaking down my walls." She said with an airy voice and a shrug.

"How's that going for you, by the way? I know I ask a lot about that, but I'd like to keep up with how you're doing" I noticed.

"Fast. It's like taking out that first brick and they just tumble down on you, you know? I can't sleep, I think so much. I just-. So much is happening so fast and it confuses me. Everything I thought I knew is just gone and so many things happen so fast. I don't even know how to deal with that" she said in the same airy but also slightly dreamy voice.

"New things?"

"Yeah. Like you. You confuse me."

"How so?" I asked curiously. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"I've never cared so much for anyone so fast. It was like, magnetism or something. You're not a robot, are you?" She looked at me with fake worry. I laughed.

"No Britt, no robot. I care about you too. Very much" I said and tightened my grip on her.

She chuckled. "I know"

"You're really smart, San. You knew what I was going through and what I needed. How did you know that?" She asked me.

"I went through the same. I still am. I may seem all out and stuff here, but that's only because I finally got the balls to tell Mercedes and you and I don't know anyone else. But back home. Nobody knows. Only Kurt and Mercedes and you. I have the same mask you do, only where you're all happy, I'm just a bitch. I don't get how you can hide and be happy at the same time. I'm so freaking tired of hiding" I sighed. She looked at me again.

"Then don't"

"It's not that easy, B. I've had the same conversation a thousand times of how I was going to tell my parents that I'm gay, or tell Quinn, my best friend. I only ever told Kurt because he was gay too and I knew he'd keep the secret." I said.

"It must be really tiring. Why did you tell Mercedes?"

"It wasn't really telling, it was more like me mumbling about you and her guessing, Remember that night at Luna Park?" I asked and blushed. It was so embarrassing to talk about my crush on BrittanywithBrittany.

"Oh… Look, can I ask you something?" she asked and turned to sit next to me and look at me fully.

"Um, yeah" I said nervously.

"Why me?" She asked.

"Please, Britt. I'd really not get into that, it's so embarrassing"

"I'm just curious as to why you'd fall for me. I mean, you I'd understand, but never me."

"Britt. I don't usually fall for people, but I fell for you. Doesn't that tell something? You're… wonderful" she blushed deeply and turned her attention to the screen, just as Simba was being shown the kingdom.

We had stopped talking completely, but instead we had sung every song along with the movie. The tension had been palpable during the first part of the movie but after Brittany had forced me to dance along with her in "Just Can't Wait to Be King" I suddenly remembered something. That song had been played loudly in the airplane by the kid in front of me.

"Britt?" I asked as she combed my hair, my head in her lap.

"Yeah?" she asked and looked down at me.

"Where in the plane did you sit?"

"Right in front of you" she said smilingly.

"It wasyouwho was listening to Disney songs wasn't it?"

"Mhm, busted huh?" She giggled.

"Yup. That actually helped me sleep, you know" I said as the credits rolled over my screen. She didn't say anything but I saw her smile. I suddenly felt really drowsy again; it was hard to keep staying awake with her hand in my hair like that. It was so calming it might just stop my heart completely. Without further thought I closed my eyes, hummed slightly as I exhaled deeply and felt myself drift off.

There was rustling from somewhere to my right. I inhaled sharply because I had forgotten that when waking up, you were supposed to breathe. The rustling stopped and it wasn't ten seconds after I felt a hand ghost over my cheek. It made my eyes fly wide open and they darted between a pair of blue ones. God those eyes, I'll never get used to the sight of them.

"Britt?" I croaked. I smacked my mouth several times to prevent it from feeling so dry.

"I made you lunch. Well, late lunch actually, but still." She said smiling at me. I groaned slightly and rubbed my eyes tiredly. She was sitting on her knees in front of the couch and resting her head on her arms which lay crossed on the edge of the couch. She looked absolutely adorable. I sat up tiredly and ruffled my hair slightly.

"What time is it?"

"Almost 2pm. You needed the sleep I think" She said and got up, offering me her hand. I smiled and took it, flicking bangs out of my face and stifling a yawn. Had I really just slept for almost four hours? Apparently so. What had she done meanwhile? I seriously hoped she hadn't been snooping around in my stuff, she might've found my five-step list. I really hoped that she hadn't.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked as she led me to the table where a tuna salad had been made with eggs and tomato and everything. It looked delicious. I didn't answer her, only looked at the food.

"I can't cook, so I took the two already cooked eggs from your fridge, I hope you don't mind" she said sheepishly.

"This looks awesome" I said and smiled reassuringly at her. She bit her lip, trying to stop from smiling like a sun. I was still Santa Claus it seemed. Good.

"So, what did you spend four hours doing?" I asked and took a bite. It tasted really good too.

"I watched the movie again, I hadn't really been paying attention. Then I wrote a bit in my notebook and watched the rain. It's really pretty; I love being outside when it rains." She said.

"Notebook? That one you write in about love?" I asked. She pointed to a red and blue notebook on the couch next to where I had laid. I wondered shortly what she had written but it was hers, not mine so it was none of my business. A part of me hoped though, that I was in there somewhere. Okay, maybe not a part of me, maybe just me in general. So sue me.

I turned my attention to her again as I heard her chewing on a piece of salad. She was gazing at me with much intensity, but the meaning behind it was quite vague. What did she mean by that look. It was kind of scary, if you can have anything that's scary in a good way. I think she noticed now that she was staring at me, because her eyes widened shortly and then she became very focused on her dinner. Strange.

"So, I was thinking maybe we could go visit that cute store I was talking about the other day?" She asked after a few minutes. She looked very eager.

Cute. Store. Not really my thing.

"Sure" I heard myself say, with at least half the enthusiasm as her. Wait, why? I could easily excuse myself from this. Glitter pens and funfairs were one things but some cute store visited while it was raining this hard, no way. Not in a million years would I want to be seen in such a store. Nuh uh.

"We'll just go when we're done with lunch, alright?" I could get out of this still. Just mention the rain.

"Yeah totally" I said. What the fuck? My mouth was totally betraying me here. I didn't want to go there. I hated being outside when it rained, and I hated those mawkish baby-pink stores with little pearls and bows on everything.

"Thanks, I know that's probably not your thing, but if you want we could go to Joe's afterwards?" No I definitely did not want to go to Joe's, not after what he almost asked Brittany the last time.

"That'd be great" I said, smilingly. I. Am. So. Whipped.

"Okay then" she said.

"But no getting drunk" she said and held out her pinky. I looked at it quizzically.

"Promise? No getting drunk. We might end up naked somewhere" she said and winked.

"Britt, the flirting" I chimed annoyed and blushingly. She looked down and smiled into the table, not really seeming that ashamed. Her pinky was still held out towards me. I sighed and grabbed it with my own. "Promise" I said as her head rose and her eyes sought mine.

"Are you sure you want to wear that outside? I usually only wear it inside or for bed in the winter." I said as she was on her way out into the rain, still in my space rocket onesie.

"Do you have anything else?" she asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, I have my black shorts with the spencers and a shirt?" I offered.

"Yeah, I'd like that. I don't think going to a bar in a onesie would be acceptable" she giggled. It looked at her slightly, she didn't seem like the type to care the least what people thought of her attire. I noticed that she had overall worn very odd things; for example, those the giraffe shorts I had borrowed.

I got her the clothes and waited as she changed in the bathroom. Like the last time, she seemed sort of bashful at having to change. I was still standing with my back against the door, having closed the kitchen window for once, when she emerged. She looked really hot. Her legs grew impossibly long from the wedge heel sandals she'd worn on her way here.

"Ready" she said and pulled out a little in the red tunic, making sure that her cleavage wasn't showing too much. I held my tongue, though it'd have been really easy to comment on that.

She looped her arm in mine as walked to the door. We both took in deep breaths and stepped into the rain. We had beforehand decided that we might as well not run because it was a long way and we'd get soaked either way.

We should've probably stayed home because we hadn't even reached the end of our road before I felt the rain soaking my shirt all the way to the bra. I wondered if we'd ever be allowed into the store looking like this. I was at this moment very pleased that be both had chosen to wear clothes that weren't see-through. We walked with our arms looped and pretty soon I had to wipe my forehead to prevent too many drops from seeping into my eyes. I noticed that Brittany was doing the same, though she had a harder time, because apparently she had chosen to wear mascara that wasn't waterproof. She wasn't wearing much but enough for me to notice. I don't really know how I didn't notice it before, because she had looked equally rained on when she got there in the morning. Maybe she had just had something over her eyes then.

The minute we crossed the sidewalk we both broke into a run, spotting a covered part of the sidewalk opposite us. The minute we broke into a run I think we both found out how hilarious our situation was and how silly we were for doing this and both broke into a fit of giggles. The minute we got under the cover I felt her damp body wrap mine up and spin me around as we laughed.

"Oh my god, this was such a bad idea!" she laughed and put me down. Our clothes stuck together but we also kept pretty close.

"Let's just do what my horrid Glee teacher taught and take advantage of this," I said and walked back out in the rain, strolling the best I could while screaming the lyrics to singing in the rain.

"You're crazy!" Brittany screamed from under the covered sidewalk.

"Join me won't you?" I asked and lured her over with my pointerfinger. She laughed and nodded before walking back into the rain.

"I'm singing in the rain!" she sang.

"Just singing in the rain! What a glorious feeling, I'm happy you came" I sang and let her spin me around. We were practically dancing in the thick cloud of rain, letting her lead me around. It was as if I was in a movie or something, and I didn't even feel the rain hit me anymore. It was just her and me and I felt her joy as well. She really was happy when she danced, in a whole other way than when she wasn't dancing, but happy. It was magical.

We completely forgot to sing, but somehow the song was still there as she led me into some sort of classical dance, the name of which I didn't know. She held one hand to my shoulder and one clutched in my other as she did a quick step and another and then a slow, as we danced.

"Ragazze Pazze! Vedere così uscire di mezzo!" yelled an old man in an annoyed voice as we passed the restaurant with the pink chairs. We merely laughed but stopped dancing none the less. She led me under another covered sidewalk as we turned the corner towards the square. We were both truly soaked and our clothes hair clung to our faces.

"Hold up, you have mascara all over your cheeks" I said and stopped her, forcing her to look at me. She did so and I brought up the back of my hand and wiped it away. She smiled and tried her best to wipe the other cheek, but I swatted hers away and replaced it with my own. I was suddenly holding her face between my hands, and I found that the easiest thing would be to just lean up and steal that one kiss, but I knew that I couldn't; maybe someday, maybe never. No matter what now was not the time. I had to wait for her, and I would gladly do so if I ever in a million years had a chance.

"Thanks" she said when I removed my hands and let out a nervous giggle. She leaned down and grabbed my pinky with her own. I chuckled at her childishness but went with it. It was a silent promise, the content of which I had yet to discover.

We walked under the covered part of the sidewalk for the rest of the walk and were pretty cold, but she managed to send jolts of warmth through me.

"That's it, that's the place" she said and pointed at a two separate windows that formed conjoined store. It was clearly closed.

"Oh, I really wanted to show you the Grumpy plush from Snow White. It's so cute!" she said. I was secretly very happy that it was closed because my every assumption I had had about the store had come true. There were tiny varnish bags with pink spots all over them and little varnish bows and shiny hinges. There were giant plush toys with shapeless bodies and really large doe eyes. There were little dolls with green shirts with peace signs on them and a gazillion Disney plushes. Just the place I'd choose to barf in. Definitely not my style. I may have liked Barbies and other girlish stuff when I was a kid, but I was twenty two, and that store looked really bizarre. But Brittany looked really down.

"Look, we'll go tomorrow or something, okay?" I asked and caught her eyes. She nodded but pouted none the less.

"Look, let's go get something to drink at Charlie's bar and get warmed up, huh?" she nodded and let me guide her over the slowly decreasing rain and towards Charlie's bar. Joe was standing outside again, but still in the covered part dusting crumbs of the tablecloths.

"Hey girls. Wow, who used you as spoons for their morning tea?"

"Brittany insisted we go here" I complained with an annoyed groan, feeling how my clothes stuck to me.

"W-h-i-p-p-e-d" he mouthed as he led us inside. I felt a sudden urge to kick him in the nads, also as a punishment for the last time.

"Do you have anything warm, like coffee or something?" Brittany asked sweetly as she sat down on the barstool gingerly and dragged another closer to her for me to sit on. I did so and looked at Joe with a daring glare. He just shrugged and rolled his eyes at me before turning his attention to Brittany.

"Why yes sweet girl, we do." He said nicely. Brittany smiled and rubbed her hands together and breathed on them for warmth.

"So, Brittany" Joe began and I pierced him with my eyes. Damn he must have whale skin or something, because he didn't even notice me.

"How's the boyfriend?" I slapped my forehead.

"Whose boyfriend are we talking about?" she asked innocently, but with a glimpse of mischief in her eye.

"Yours, silly" Joe said and looked at Brittany with the same glimpse of mischief

"I don't have one anymore." She shrugged, like she hadn't just broken up with him three days ago. I must admit that to me it felt like much more as well.

"Oh so you're on the market" he chimed and looked at me reportedly. I snorted. God he could be such a pain.

"She's mending, Joe." I said.

"Mending? Guy broke your heart?" he said with much compassion and took Brittany's hand between his own two beefs of hands.

"No, not really. He just betrayed me. I'm used to it" she said and sighed, letting him warm up her hand, before giving it back to her.

"You shouldn't have to be used to it" I muttered and rested my chin in my hands.

"Joe, what happened to trying to warm us up? Do you have any hot drinks?" I added with furrowed brows to Joe. The latter smirked and ducked to find ingredients.

"Well maybe someday I will actually meet someone who'll be faithful to me." Brittany sighed. Joe seemed on the verge of breaking and I noticed that he pointed discretely at me with hisfinger of the hand he was holding a glass with as he poured some transparent liquid into it and along with that a dash of red grenadine.Oh great, now I got the hint of what he was making.Why, Joe? Really. God, annoying persons list, please add that guy will you? I snorted as he started to pour orange-juice into the two glasses.

"Brittany, I just think you have a bad luck when it comes to men" Joe said and placed one of the two drinks with the very fitting – or in my mind just annoying and totally innuendo-ish – nameSex on the Beach. I'd had them here before and I knew that they tasted pretty awesome, but of all the drinks he could've chosen, he had to choose the one that was named after a place to have sex. I glared as he set mine in front of me, but he just smiled and winked at me. As I took a gulp I realized that he had at least doubled the alcohol amount because it burned painfully down my throat.

Brittany sipped from her drinking straw before answering: "I think you're right Joe. Maybe I should just stop with the whole men thing" she said shrugging.

"And what? Stay lonely for the rest of your life, Britt you can't do that" I objected after sipping from my own drink.

"S, for a girl with your preferences you really have an odd mind. You think that just because I choose not to datementhat I'm done with love? Who would've expected to hear that from you of all people?" Brittany asked with a raised brow at me. Joe snorted.

"So what, you're going to try your luck with women or what?" Joe asked.

"Maybe, I don't know. I mean, Santana's a great kisser so maybe that counts for all girls, or what?" she asked Joe with utter seriousness. I sunk down in my chair and felt like disappearing as I feebly tried to scold Britt, but no sound left my mouth. I just got completely flushed and looked up at Joe.

"Wait, so you two…" he asked and smirked at me.

"She was drunk and hurt, it didn't mean anything" I assured him, even if I totally lied about thatdidn't mean anythingpart, because on my part, it totally did! I looked over at Brittany who was biting her lip as if she wanted to protest. She didn't want to, did she?

"I-It meant something to me" Brittany finally said, making me choke on my drink and my heart increase its rate rapidly.

"W-what?" I spluttered and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Nothing… It's just, it did mean something. We kissed and we got over it and we're still kind of besties, and that means a lot, that we're such good friends and that we don't let it affect us and-" she quieted and pursed her lips, looking down.

"Well, yeah. You're right" I said and sipped from my drink to avoid having to address the subject any further. It was embarrassing enough as it was and my cheeks were burning. I was pretty sure that the color of them matched that of the grenadine Joe had put in my drink earlier.

"Okay, so you're not straight?" Joe asked Brittany and I gaped at him, wishing that I had the height and arms length to forcefully flick his forehead. I settled for letting my fisted hand slam discretely and forcefully onto his hand. He winced and jerked back his hand, looking at me. I hate him, I absolutely hate him.

"No" Brittany said as if it was the plainest thing ever. "I like people" she added and took a large gulp of her drink. I looked at her without shame. Well at least that mystery was solved now.

Let's just say that I looked like a person who had decided to throw herself in a pool fully clothed when I finally got home. The rain had stopped for a few short minutes and then the skies seem to crash like when breaking a dam. Well other than the fact that that totally sucked balls I was pretty damn happy. Brittany wanted to date girls. Now I could really use a sign that said "Available Lesbian this way!" Whatever. Maybe operation GBPtFFSL might not be such a bad idea anyway, or what? Well yeah, it was still a horrible idea, because like any time I thought of trying to woo her I got this picture of a Brittany with a freaking family, and yeah, she'd want that sometime. Wait, why was I thinking that far out? Couldn't I just think about right now? Take things one step at a time? I had no idea where this was supposed to go, but I was damn well going to try. If ten years from now we were together and she wanted a family, then she'd get a freaking family, or if she ten years from now had never gained interest in me, I'd probably still be a miserable bitch with the hots for her. Maybe all I had to do was try and ask her and then she'd either say yes or no and if no, I'd possibly be able to get on with my life.

I was halfway out the door before I chickened out and convinced myself that maybe it was better to do tomorrow, or another day… maybe like Saturday or something. Oh wait I had to go home Saturday. Yes, definitely Saturday. Okay, so sue me, I was freaking terrified that she'd turn me down, which she most likely would. Okay, I just had to work up the lady-balls to freaking ask her out.

A/N - Sorry for the long wait ... _' I was waiting to get it back from my angel, Liz, but she was so busy..! 3

I'm still shocked about the amount of attention it gets, thanks so much :'33

Song for this chapter - Joe Purdy - I Love the Rain the Most (When it Stops)

Youtube for the song -/watch?v=M4yEtuebDdk

Love y'all, please review :)!