Chapter 10: Eve & Solitude

Rick left his house around 8:15 am. Walker's opened at 11am and closed at six, but Rick and Negan always got in two hours earlier. Michonne would meet them an hour later. Rick was listening to his GPS but found Negan's neighborhood pretty easily. He was surprised at the neighborhood, it just seemed like something a family would live in. Not Negan. Rick again thought of the woman in the photo and Negan's clear lack of plans on Thanksgiving. He didn't know if he was divorced, or just had a breakup, or maybe was a widow like Rick. There was no point in assuming or theorizing anymore, Rick had pulled up alongside Negan's house.

The house was two stories and was pretty nicely sized. It was a little bit bigger than Rick's house. Rick took note of the landscaping disaster. There were dead flowers that should have been removed from the mulch, the grass was unkempt, and there were leaves still left everywhere. Rick decided to just send a text, saying "here," and waited for a response.

Negan:
Door's open just come in.
8:30am

Rick hit his head gently against the back of the seat. He didn't want to go in. He got out of his car and began walking up the driveway. The air was frigid and Rick pulled his scarf closer around his ears. He opened the door and walked inside.

The inside wasn't nearly as bad as the outside, but there was definitely a lack of caring. Mail was piled up on a shelf by the door. To Rick's immediate left was the staircase, which turned halfway up, blocking Rick's vision of the upstairs. The downstairs was an open floor plan; to Rick's right was a dining room that lead into the kitchen and a living room. Rick walked to the kitchen to see if Negan was there.

Dishes were piled mildly in the sink and Rick noticed even more stuff strewn along the counter space. He looked over at the living room. He could see picture frames. Some were knocked over; he walked over to one of them. In the photo Negan had his arm around the woman's waist, he was laughing hard and his nose crinkled. The woman was laughing too. Rick walked back towards the kitchen, lost in thought.

"Sorry for the shithole." Negan said, walking into the kitchen. "I uh, have been busy."

"It's fine." Rick said. "You ready?"

"Yeah, one sec." Negan walked over to his fridge and pulled out string cheese. "Oh fuck, you want one?"

"Uh, no." Rick replied.

"Alright, let's go." Negan said walking past Rick. Rick followed him out the door. After Negan locked it, the two got into the car.

Rick watched Negan take the plastic off the cheese and bite into it, which unnerved Rick. Negan would be the type of person to bite into string cheese. Rick could have laughed, again, at the sheer weirdness of the man next to him. He didn't know who he was, or atleast, every time he thought he did Negan would do some weird shit like eat string cheese for breakfast with nothing else.

"I like your car." Negan said.

"Thanks."

Negan looked at the backseat and saw Judith's car seat, he faced forward and stared out the windshield. "My car's such a fucking piece of shit…" Negan mumbled.

"Maybe you should get a new one." Rick suggested.

"No! I don't need a new one I need mine to fucking work." Negan snapped.

"Shit, sorry." Rick said softly, making a turn out of the neighborhood.

"Fuck. Sorry." Negan muttered. "I probably should get a new one. I just hate getting rid of shit. I should also move. But...same thing."

Rick didn't respond, he didn't know how to and didn't want to say something wrong.

"You ignoring me now?"

"What? No, I-"

Negan laughed, Rick winced when he remembered there was a different kind of laugh Negan did, one where he sounded like an actual donkey.

"Got you." Negan said. "You gotta stop being so serious."

"Yeah I know." Rick replied. "I'm just tired a lot, I guess." Rick didn't mean that, he just didn't want to stay silent again. In all honesty he just did not know how to respond to Negan without it turning into some form of teasing or agitation. It was also evident that Negan took a lot of his feelings about himself out onto Rick. Negan just freaked out about his car, but was telling to Rick not to be serious. Rick brushed it off, as he always did, because he knew there was something deeply affecting Negan.

"God I hope no one fucking comes in today." Negan said. "I wanna go back to sleep."

"It's usually not that busy towards the afternoon, I thought you wanted it busy though." Rick said.

"I do but I also want a fucking break. These fucking customers, man. I guess I just don't know what I'd fucking do besides this job. It pays well, I know sure as shit that I wouldn't get anything better. I used to sell cars but they were used pieces of shit like the one I have so it didn't really pay the bills. And again, customers."

"I used to be a sheriff." Rick said.

"WHAT? No you fucking did not." Negan grinned. "Are you shitting me right now?"

"Nope. I got shot, was in a coma for few weeks. After that I just wanted to focus on family. I knew Dale previously and he offered me the job. Figured I could still be part of a team but with less bad guys. I moved out here with my family...then Lori died. I'm glad I made the decision, I don't think I would've had the same foundation of support if I stayed a cop. I mean...I would have, but I think it would have led to some destructive behavior. Drinking, going out...I did drink a little but...the people at Walker's...they were amazing." Rick said.

"Wow." Negan replied, staring at Rick. "You're cool as shit, Rick."

Rick laughed, genuinely.

"I mean it. Uh…"

"What?" Rick asked, pulling into the Walker's parking lot.

"Uh, let's get to fucking work already." Negan said, switching the conversation. "Shit, we have a lot to fucking do…"

"Yeah, okay."

The Christmas decorations in Walker's were in full effect. There were trees set up across the store and garland everywhere. Glenn was setting up a new display in front of the Sports counter. Abraham was in front of the counter, leaning on it.

"You get Maggie anything for Christmas?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm taking her out to a fancy restaurant tonight." Glenn said, looking at the display.

"That's a good idea…" Abraham said. "I'm starting to think I went a little over board."

"You got Rosita something expensive?" Glenn asked.

"Oh uh, I'm not with Rosita anymore."

"You're not? I didn't know that." Glenn replied, looking up at Abraham.

"Yeah it was getting a little...I don't know. Actually I'm beginning to see Sasha." Abraham admitted.

"Ah...so you got Sasha something expensive then?"

"Yeah I got her a tablet." Abraham laughed. "She dropped hers in the parking lot trying to show me a video. I felt really bad."

"Well I think that's really nice. Maybe a little overboard, but it's Christmas. You're allowed to do that stuff." Glenn reassured. "Now you're making me feel like a loser."

"Are you kidding? I should be taking pages out of your book. You've been smooth as butter with Maggie since day one."

Glenn laughed, "That's not true. Maybe day four."

"I do feel bad about Rosita though...gonna be fucking awkward at the party." Abraham sighed.

"It's life." Glenn said. "Sometimes things have to be awkward. Maybe you should talk to her there? Everyone needs good closure."

"You're right." Abraham said.

Michonne sat in the office, alone with Negan, feeling extremely awkward. Usually Rick was there. She never had a real one on one conversation with Negan. It's not that she needed Rick, but Rick stayed calm when Michonne could have easily gotten mad.

"So you like being with Rick, huh?" Negan asked, turning around in his chair.

"Yep." Michonne replied, swiveling her chair too, she planted her feet on the ground. "So you like agitating Rick, huh?"

Negan smiled. "Yeah, I do. It's the best part of this job. That and seeing you two act all fucking adorable with each other."

Michonne glared at him.

"Haaa….Rick used to give me that look. He's warmed up to me though. He told me all about his past and shit. Ex-sheriff, widow, the whole thing. Yep...me and Rick are fucking B. " Negan said charismatically.

"He told you about all that?" Michonne asked.

"Yeah, why, is that unlike him?"

"A little, I mean, kind of, Rick doesn't really tell a lot of people." Michonne said. "If you use that information to be a fucking prick I'll kick your teeth in, you know that right?"

"I have somewhat of a conscious, Michonne." Negan said. "I only go for the throat when I don't like someone. And I like Rick. And you. You just have to warm up to me too."

Michonne smirked, "Good luck with that. I don't get buddy buddy that easily. Don't take it personally." She said standing up.

Negan laughed. "I won't."

Michonne left the office, she was pissed. Why would Rick tell Negan about his life? Of all people. Negan used information to be an asshole and to pick on people. Michonne would not be able to handle it if he did that to Rick. Rick had been through too much for that to happen. She found Rick in the breakroom.

"You told him about Lori? About your job?" Michonne asked upon entering the room.

"What? Yeah.." Rick replied, standing up by the table.

"Why?" Michonne said, hurt.

"He asked about Judith, which usually leads to Lori. It's a part of my life, am I not supposed to tell it?" Rick asked, getting annoyed.

"Of course you can but...it's him."

"Michonne...look, I think he might be going through something similar. If I can help someone like me, then I'm going to." Rick explained.

"But you don't know that for sure. And he feeds off of people's pain." Michonne said. "I don't want him to hurt you."

"He can't hurt me, Michonne. I think he needs someone to understand."

"Why are you such a good person, it makes me sick sometimes." Michonne sighed. "I'm sorry, I guess I just start to feel protective over your experiences. And I don't think Negan deserves to know you yet."

"Probably not." Rick said.

"He said he wouldn't use anything against you...but I don't trust him."

Rick walked over to Michonne and put his hand on her wrist. "He's not important enough to worry over."

"That's true."

Rick put his other hand to Michonne's face and kissed her. The door opened and he pulled away.

"Woah-ho! Don't stop the show just because of me." Negan said, walking through the door. "Just grabbing a soda, seriously guys, don't mind me." Negan laughed to himself.

Rick gripped Michonne's wrist when he felt her tense up.

"Getting some on company time, I guess I gotta find someone haha." Negan laughed again. Rick and Michonne stared at Negan with pure venom. "Wow! If I didn't know any better I'd say you guys hated me." He chuckled.

"Getting close." Michonne said.

"Okay…" Rick started, "Negan can I talk to you?"

"I think you can talk to me right here, Rick," he replied, leaning against the vending machine.

"You gotta stop being a fucking piece of shit, I'm serious." Rick said.

Negan nodded, "What? You don't think it's too late for me?"

"No, I don't." Rick said.

"Just shut up once in a while." Michonne added.

Negan laughed, "Alright, I'll give it a fucking shot."

"I. Can't. Stand. Him." Michonne hissed, walking with Rick to the second floor. "He's like a fucking middle schooler."

"It's all compensation, a facade." Rick said. "Maybe we should just stop letting it bother us, just bite right back."

"Yeah and then he turns psycho." Michonne replied. "Can't wait for the party. That should be a blast and a half."

Rick laughed.

"It's not funny." Michonne said, laughing weakly. "He drives me insane. How are you not bothered?"

"I'm very bothered, I just...have talked to him more. I'm used to him. He treats everything like a joke to hide how much he actually cares."

"That seems really hard to believe. Maybe he's just actually an a-hole, ever consider that." Michonne asked.

"Oh definitely, but he's still human." Rick said. "Atleast I think so."

"Barely." Michonne added.

"Don't let him get to you Michonne. He's not worth it, seriously."

"Rick, you know me." She sighed.

"I do. Fortunately." He smiled.

Michonne smirked and poked his side, "You're lucky you're cute. Ugh...alright, I'll try to chill out."

"Good."

Christmas Eve at Walker's went well, and like Rick had said, the customers stopped coming in around the afternoon. Most of the employees left around four. Maggie was spending Christmas Eve with Glenn and she followed his car back to his apartment. Maggie had brought extra clothes and packed makeup to get ready for dinner. After getting ready, she checked herself in the mirror and walked out of the bathroom.

"Woah." Glenn said, looking at Maggie. She was in a beautiful navy dress and black heels.

"So do you want your Christmas gift or is this enough?" She teased.

"Uh…either one is fine." Glenn replied.

"I'll give it to you at dinner." Maggie said putting on her winter coat, concealing the dress. "You look really good yourself, by the way." She said shyly.

"Thanks." Glenn handed her a scarf and she tied it around her neck.

The two arrived at dinner and Maggie and Glenn stared at the menu. The restaurant was extremely nice and both of them felt a little out of place. Maggie was used to being around nature and animals, not fancy napkins and chandeliers. But she loved it. Glenn watched Maggie look intently at the menu, he was just grateful to have someone like Maggie in his life. Someone who he wanted to take to fancy places or just sit on the couch with.

"So many options." Maggie said. "I've never been anywhere like this before, I don't know what to get."

"You can get whatever you want." Glenn replied, "Just go for it." He said smiling at Maggie.

Maggie laughed, "Alright."

Maggie ordered a seafood dish while Glenn chose pasta. They shared wine and ate the complimentary bread that was already on the table. Towards the end of dinner, Maggie pulled a little gift out of her purse and handed it over to Glenn.

"It's not as elaborate as dinner but here ya go." She said.

Glenn unwrapped it, it was a silver pocket watch.

"My dad gave that to me...but I want to give it to you." Maggie explained.

"Maggie, I can't-"

"You have to take it Glenn. I'll take it back if we ever break up, but right now, I want you to have it. And hopefully you'll have it forever and then it's both of ours, okay?"

"Okay..." Glenn smiled. "Maggie..."

"Yeah?" Maggie asked.

"I love you."

Maggie's heart could have exploded. "I love you too."

Rick was heating up the car when Negan finally walked outside of Walker's. Daryl locked up and took off on his motorcycle, he was meeting up with Carol at her place to have a lowkey Christmas Eve night. He had been doing this with Carol since her divorce, and they always watched movies with Sophia. Abraham and Sasha parted ways but not before Abraham kissed her cheek. Rosita had left earlier with some of the others, including Tara who was still nervously trying to figure out if she and Denise were going anywhere.

"You have a ride between Christmas and New Year's Eve, right?" Rick asked, turning the vent towards his hands.

"Yeah, you get to be off the hook for a little bit." Negan laughed, buckling his seatbelt.

The rest of the ride was pretty silent, which surprised Rick. Maybe Negan was finally tired from being so on all the time. It was already really dark outside, the joys of daylight savings. Rick pulled into Negan's driveway. At nighttime, it was jarring how Negan's house was the only one not lit up with lights. Rick turned to Negan and noticed he was crying.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Rick asked, he was shocked. Negan burst into tears, he leaned forward and buried his head into his hands. "Negan…" Rick said, putting his hand hesitantly on Negan's shoulder.

Negan flung himself into Rick's lap, his hands gripped Rick's jacket, and he sobbed.

"I didn't want to tell anyone before." He said, muffled. He rested his forehead on Rick's leg. "My wife died at the end of September. She just fucking died and I don't know why. And I don't know how to live anymore. Which is fucking stupid because she probably fucking hated me and was gonna fucking leave me anyway because I'm a shit fucking person." He cried. "And then you told me about Lori, and you have her fucking children, and I have shit nothing. And you have Michonne too and she fucking loves you. And I'll never fucking have that again."

"Negan that's not true-"

"Yes it is! Because I can't be anyone else. Jesus fucking Christ…" He began to breathe rapidly, trying to calm down. "I'm fucking lucky I got married once." Negan laughed painfully. "I didn't fucking deserve her but I sure as hell deserve this I know that for a fucking fact. And I'm going to be alone tomorrow just like Thanksgiving because I have no family and her family fucking hates me. I'm so fucking alone."

Rick felt his leg getting wet, he didn't know whether to try and talk to Negan or comfort him. He put his hand on Negan's back.

"It gets easier." He said.

"Bullshit."

"It does. A friend from back when I was a sheriff, she told me at Lori's funeral that the pain never goes away, you just make room for it." Rick said. "And that's the truth. It doesn't go away, but it gets easier to live with."

Negan sniffed and loosened his grip on Rick's jacket. The two stayed still for a few more minutes. Negan practically ripped the seat belt off of him.

"Don't fucking talk about this to anybody." He said before leaving the car and slamming the door.

Rick watched him walked inside his house. Rick stared at the garage door, the lights from his car were bouncing off it. He had no idea what had just happened. His right leg was soaked, and he didn't know what to do. He was overwhelmed. Rick pulled out of the driveway and drove home. When he got home Michonne met him at the door. He dropped his jacket on the floor and hugged her. She put her hands on his face and he rested his on her waist. He touched her forehead with his.

"What's wrong?" She said.

"I just love you so much."

Negan didn't make it past his staircase. He had fallen against the door and cried. After an hour passed he fell asleep, curled against the door.

The next day, Michonne left Rick's house before 3pm like she said. Rick was having his usual holiday company over. They were going to arrive around four. He was sitting on his couch, staring at his phone. Carl was on the phone with Enid in the other room, telling her what videogames he got and what they should play first. Judith was in her playpen, playing with the toys Rick and Michonne had gotten her. He thought of inviting Negan to dinner. He pressed the call button and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" Negan asked, confused.

"Hey, was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner. Carol and Daryl always come so uh, if you want to, you can come too." Rick said.

"Oh...um, nah it's cool." Negan replied. "Besides then you have to get me and shit."

"That's not a problem."

"That's really nice of you Rick but I think I'll just stay home." Negan said. "I'm not good with families. Thanks though.."

"Alright, just don't drunk text me again."

"Haha, fuck you." Negan laughed. "I'll drink a six pack just for that comment."

Rick laughed too but then stopped. "Don't." He said. "It doesn't help."

"I know." Negan sighed.

"See ya later." Rick said.

"Yeah, bye." Negan replied, hanging up. He was lying in bed, staring at the wall. He smirked to himself.

The rest of Christmas went well for the others. Maggie and Beth were having a chill day with their family on the farm, and Beth was texting Daryl. The original employees of Walker's all texted Jesus saying "Happy Birthday," and it never got old. Everyone was off visiting family and the day was relaxing and warm.

Negan finally got out of bed and turned on all the lights in the house. He decided to spend the rest of the day cleaning everything. He was kind of shocked at Rick inviting him over, but it still made him smile, which annoyed him. He had never had someone care like that before. He was slightly embarrassed about what happened in Rick's car, but he knew Rick was a good guy and wouldn't be a jerk about it. After cleaning up he laid back in bed. He didn't drink the entire day. And a part of him missed the blackout visions. But there would be more chances for that, he thought.

| END CH 10 |

Authors Note: Hey guys! I'm going to be getting into the New Years Party part of the story, which is going to span multiple chapters and cover more of the characters. I know I've been focusing on a select few, but I'm excited to explore the others stories and relationships that have been building up. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's the longest one yet haha.