Hey all those special reviewers out there!! How are you doing?? Well, I was working really hard on this chapter...and I'm almost done with the next chapter. For those of you who are hating Tommy right now, I'm sorry, I promise you, there is a reason for all of this. And all of you who are hating Kwude, again, reasons here. I like Kwude though...but that's just me...Thank you...all of you for the amazing reviews!! I am so glad you like the story. Okaii, enough babbling.
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or the song Never Again by Kelly Clarkson (great song...suggest it). I do own the song You Saved Me.
P.S. The title of the chapter Mouth Shut is from the song Mouth Shut by The Veronicas...if you haven't listened to it, I suggest you try to. It's basically what Jude feels like, just the chorus though.
Chapter 9: Feeling Lost in Your Arms
Tommy woke up with him hugging his pillow. He could see the tear stains on it. Jude has left plenty of times before, but this time he knew it was different. He made the worst mistake he could ever make. Why the hell did he even say that? He let his anger get the better of him. But one thing he regretted the most, was that he didn't prove that he loved her. He let her walk out of here. All he could give her was an 'I'm sorry'. He didn't know what to do though. What was he going to do? How can he prove to Jude that he really did love her?
Tommy heard someone open the door. He turned around thinking it was Jude, but found Stephanie with Bengal in her hand. She climbed on top of the bed next to her dad. Tommy kissed her head softly and looked into her beautiful, big brown eyes. There were a couple of tears in them. She heard the fight last night and could hardly sleep. He heard her whimper and start to sob a bit. He wiped some of the tears that escaped onto her cheek and hugged her closely. He had to fix this. This was tearing up all of them. Faster and faster he and Jude were slipping and he hadn't done anything to stop it yet. There was nothing he could do to stop it.
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Jude had woken up to a stream of sunlight that was begging her to wake up. She fluttered her eyes open not exactly sure where she was. Once everything came into a clear view she saw Kwest next to her. She smiled as the events from last night came flooding back in her mind. The way they did it was so slow, gentle, and loving. Kwest made her feel so special. She lifted herself up and kissed his lips softly making him stir and wake up. He woke up and smiled when he saw her. "Hi," he whispered as he pecked her lips.
"Hi," she whispered against his lips.
Kwest sat up and Jude followed. She wrapped the sheets around her and laid her head on his shoulder as they leaned against the headboard. Kwest wrapped his arm around her and laid his head on hers. "Jude, are you okay with everything that happened last night?" Kwest asked truly concerned. He still felt like he took advantage of her. He didn't want to do that to Jude.
"Of course I am," she reassured him. She took her head off to look into his eyes. "Kwest you made me feel so special; so loved. I haven't felt that way in a very long time."
"I was just kind of scared that I took advantage of you," he confessed.
"Oh, no you didn't Kwest, I promise. I wanted to."
That made him smile wider and he attached his lips to hers once again. Jude looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost 10:00am. She had to go home soon. They would wonder where she was all this time. But she didn't want to go home to the person who didn't want to be her husband. After getting dressed and giving Kwest a goodbye kiss, she decided to go straight to her rehearsal space. At least there she could think. As Jude drove there she kept thinking about last night. She thought about what Tommy said, how he let her leave, how she went to Kwest's house, and how he made her feel. It was so wrong, though. He had never cheated on anyone except on Spencer. But those were under different circumstances…weren't they?
Then what Kwest told her last night came back into her mind. "He wants a divorce. He told me today. He's going to divorce you and go with…Cathy." Ugh! How could he just do that to her!? He was the most heartless person she had ever met. All the crap they went through just to hit a dead end? Did he not promise her a long time ago he wouldn't hurt her anymore?
Jude: How can I be sure you won't hurt me again?
Tommy: Just trust me Jude.
The only one Jude could trust right now was Kwest. She smiled as she thought of him. How could she not see it before? Kwest was always there for her, and has never hurt her. He never would. He truly loved her. Tommy; she wasn't so sure. She finally made it to her space and climbed out of the car. When she got there she saw SME playing one of their awesome songs. She smiled at them as she walked in. "Jude, hey!" Spied yelled as the music finished. He put his guitar down and set next to her. "I have a proposition for you."
"Oh do you know?" Jude said with an eyebrow cocked.
"I know you haven't sung in a while, but I was wondering if you would like to do a bootleg," Spiederman said.
Jude looked at him and then at Kyle and Wally. The both nodded their heads in agreement. "I don't know if I can. Since the…well, you know, it just hurts too much. I love it, don't get me wrong. But I always get the same pain in my stomach that I had the day I lost it."
"I know Jude, and I know it's hard. But your fans have been downloading Broken Wing and it's climbing the charts. It's number two on top downloads."
"Really?" Jude was surprised to say the least. She didn't know she still had fans. She thought about it for a minute. Could she really sing again? "Okay," Jude nodded. "I'll record two bootlegs, but that's it."
Jude and SME were in the studio working on a song. "Okay Kyle," Jude began, "on this part you have a little solo for about eight counts. After that, Wally you come in with the bass for about four counts. That's when you jump in Spiederman. Everyone got that?" She looked at the trio as they nodded their heads. Just about as they were going to start, she saw Tommy and Kwest walk in. Tommy's eyes went wide and he ran into the booth. They just stared at each other until Tommy put her in the biggest hug. Jude didn't return the gesture at all.
"Tommy, I'm, uh, a little busy. Can we talk later?" Jude asked as she didn't meet eye contact with him.
Tommy put on a sullen face but nodded. He walked out of the studio and Jude sighed. Her eyes met with Kwest and instantly a smile appeared on her face. Kwest laughed and smiled back and sat down. He pressed record and they started the song.
I hope the ring you gave to her Does it hurt If she really knows the truth Does it hurt Never again will I hear you Does it hurt
Turns her finger green
I hope when you're in bed with her
You think of me
I would never wish bad things
But I don't wish you well
Could you tell
By the flames that burned your words
I never read your letter
Cause I knew what you'd say
Give me that Sunday school answer
Try make it all okay
To know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew
Exactly what you were doing
Don't say
You simply lost your way
She may believe you
But I never will
Never again
She deserves you
A trophy wife
Oh, how cute
Ignorance is bliss
But when your day comes
And he's through with you
And he'll be through with you
You'll die together, but alone
You wrote me in a letter
You couldn't say it right to my face
Well, give me that Sunday school answer
Repent yourself away
To know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew
Exactly what you were doing
Don't say
You simply lost your way
They may believe you
But I never will
Never again
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never
Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never!
To know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew
Exactly what you were doing
Don't say
You simply lost your way
They may believe you
But I never will
I Never Will
I never will
Never again
Jude took a deep breath when she finished the last note. That felt a lot better than she thought it was going to. It felt good to put her anger and pain into words again, and belt it out. Tommy was outside the studio the whole time. He heard every single word. Why was she singing a song like that? He didn't understand. He was waiting for a Screw-You-Tommy song, but that couldn't be it.
After rehearsing it a few times and finally sending it to Darius, Kwest and Jude went to go to hospitality. Soon Kwest grabbed her arm and she found herself in a storage room. "Oh, Taylor, you're so bad," Jude said in a seductive but playful voice. Kwest smiled and started to kiss her. "But…Mr. Producer man…this is so…unprofessional," she said between kisses.
Kwest suddenly stopped and sighed. "You're right," he agreed trying to keep his face straight. Jude looked at him confused. "I won't do it ever again." He was about to walk away until she pulled him back to her and kissed him passionately. They heard the door click open and moved away from each other as fast as they could. Jude's mouth was agape and she forced a smile. "Hi Sadie," her voice shaked. "What are you doing home so early?"
Sadie looked at them in suspicion. "I decided to come home to see how you were," she responded. "I was a little worried about you. What are you doing in the storage closet…with Kwest?"
Jude looked at Kwest and Kwest looked down at her. "Uh," Kwest started, "we were just looking for a MIC. She's recording some bootlegs."
Sadie's eye went wide and she smiled. "You're singing again?"
"Kind of," Jude responded. Jude looked around and found a MIC on the ground. She picked it up. "Oh, I found it. Let's go record that song."
Kwest and Jude ran out of there. After they were out of Sadie's sight they started laughing. They couldn't imagine how close that was. They were going to enter the booth when Tommy stopped Jude. He insisted that they talk before she went in. Jude reluctantly nodded her head and followed Tommy to Studio 3. Once inside, Jude sat on the chair that was in there and waited for Tommy to start talking.
Tommy had really no idea what to say. He knew he had to prove somehow that he loved her but he didn't know how. All day he was wondering what would be the perfect way to show her. He thought of everything in the book but nothing seemed right. He couldn't buy her a ring. She would probably accuse him of buying her love. A kiss didn't mean much to her anymore. Then he thought about something else. Maybe a song could get his wife's attention.
Tommy didn't say a word as he grabbed his acoustic from the stand behind him. He sat on the chair in the corner. Jude eyed him suspiciously. He strummed his guitar lightly hoping that this song will show her how he really felt.
There's more to me
That only you can see
And my heart is scarred
When I'm not where you are
Don't know how you do it
But suddenly, I'm so different
You opened my eyes
Helped me touch the sky
You changed my life for the better
Helped me through the stormy weather
Wrapped me up in your arms
To protect me from any harm
Yea, you, and only you
Can pull me through
You saved me
I promise I'll stay for a while
If you just smile
My love for you only gets bigger
You've got me wrapped around your finger
I was lost in this world
'Till you touched my heart girl
What can I do?
I'm so in love with you
You changed my life for the better
Helped me through the stormy weather
Wrapped me up in your arms
To protect me from any harm
Yea, you, and only you
Can pull me through
You saved me
Tommy finally stopped strumming and looked at Jude. She had some tears in her eyes. He couldn't tell if that was good or bad. Jude's heart skipped a beat when Tommy finished. She loved the song. But she couldn't forget what Kwest had told her. She stared at her hands. If she didn't accept his forgiveness, he would ask why. And right now she wasn't in the right state to lie. But she couldn't tell him that Kwest had told her about Tommy's plan. Jude decided to play along, and pretend like she didn't know anything. She was use to pretending anyway. It became a routine in their marriage.
She forced a smile and got up from her seat. She went over and hugged him. As much as she hated him right now, she loved the feeling of Tommy's arms wrapped around her. "I'm so sorry Jude," Tommy whispered in her hair. "I didn't mean it, I promise." She nodded her head and held her tears back. She couldn't believe that he was lying to her right now. He was going to say all this and then leave her. "I love you," he whispered again as he nuzzled his head in her neck.
Jude hugged him closer. "I love you too," she said back, truthfully.
Sneak Peek-Chapter 10:
"You're not leaving me to do this on my own. This is your fault in this first place!" she yelled in his face.
He rolled his eyes again. "Yea, yea, yea, of course it is. You know, I'm just going to get that tattooed across my forehead. Now, will you please move at least three steps to the left and get out of my way?" She couldn't believe what he was saying. What the hell made him so damn heartless? These were the times she wished Kwest was there holding her hand. Jude just stood there not moving an inch. Tommy tapped his foot as he looked at her in annoyance. "I'm waiting," he said in a sing-song voice.
She didn't know what came over her, but suddenly her hand made contact with Tommy's face.
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He bolted from the rocking chair and ran to find Jude tossing and turning. She was screaming so loud that it was ear piercing. She was crying and her face was red. Tommy ran to her and felt her forehead. She was burning up. He tried to wake her up but it didn't work. She kept on screaming. He tried everything. He called her name, shook her, and even took the covers off and kissed her. It was like she was in some other world. He was getting scared now.