It was late when Ziva pulled up at Gibbs' home. How late, she wasn't sure, but definitely late enough for nowhere to be open for a late night snack except the old staples of fast food. She tapped on the door lightly, slinking inside and closing it behind her, slipping her shoes off as she did. The house was dark, save for a chink of light at the gap in the door to the basement. She sighed, a smile finding her lips. He never did change.
" Gibbs? Are you here?" She received a gruff 'downstairs' from the basement stairwell, and chuckled lightly as she headed down. " I should have known. I wanted to speak to you, I-" She hesitated on the second from last step, hand wavering over the banister, glancing from Gibbs to Tony, and then back again. " Sorry, I did not realise you had company. I do not want to interrupt."
" Not interrupting anything, Ziver." Gibbs beckoned for her, putting down the plane in his hand. Tony almost dropped the small block of wood he had been chiselling at, watching her as she came into the light, before huffing slightly, turning back to the block of wood. Ziva raised an eyebrow, watching as he angrily attacked the wood once again, glancing to Gibbs, who said nothing, but offered her his usual subtle smile. " What d'ya need?"
" A…a word, perhaps. I…" She stopped again, eyes still on Tony, who had now managed to hack half of the wood from the block, sending flakes flying as he continued. " Tony, you are going to give yourself a spliffer doing that."
" You know, Agent David, a spliffer wouldn't go amiss tonight, the mood I'm in. A splinter, however, is a different manner."
" Don't get any ideas, DiNozzo. Not in my basement, anyway."
" Wouldn't dream of it, Boss. A clean cut, good as gold, all American federal agent wouldn't think of it. He would think of another beer, though." He pushed himself off his stool, wavering slightly, before steadying himself, and pushing past Ziva to the stairs. She watched him hobble up them, tutting disapprovingly.
" Are you not supposed to be resting, Tony?"
" Lived this many years without a mother, Agent David. Don't need one now, thanks".
Ziva stared after his retreating back, before turning to Gibbs with a scowl, pointing a finger. " He will do himself another injury! Why does he insist on listening to no-one? What is wrong with him anyway, he is in an odd humour!" Gibbs glanced up from his work, looking to the empty doorway, before shrugging, going back to planing.
" Why don't you ask him?"
The simple question threw her. Why didn't she ask him? Because he had made it very clear in hospital that her presence was not welcome. Because they had barely spoken in her time in DC?
Because she was afraid of the answer?
She turned on her heel, and marched up the stairs; Ziva David did not fear anything. Storming into the kitchen, she stopped at the doorway, Tony glancing towards her.
" What are you asking me?"
She rolled her eyes, folding her arms with a huff. " I was coming to check on you. You do not seem yourself." He took a swig of the newly opened beer, raising an eyebrow, before shrugging.
" Getting shot and spending a few weeks in hospital does that to a guy. Just readjusting to the outside world. Like I said, don't need mothered."
" I was not intending on mothering you, I-"
" Good. Then we're done here." Tony went to push past her, a hand rising to his chest to stop him. He paused in the doorway, turning to face her, Ziva looking up at him with genuine concern on her face.
" What is going on, Tony? You may be able to fool everyone else with that ridiculous grin, but not Gibbs, and certainly not me. You may choose to forget, but there was a point where I knew you better than you knew yourself!" He was tantalisingly close, only inches from her. The last time they had been this close, she was sure he was dying, and the time before that, in Israel… Tony snapped her from her thoughts by gently pushing her hand from his chest, with a shrug.
" I don't choose to forget anything, Agent David."
" Ziva." She almost leant up to him, straightening up. She had forgotten just how much taller he stood. " It is Ziva." He watched her for a moment, before smirking slightly, still inches from her, close enough that she could hear his breath hitch before he replied.
" Oh, I know, Zee-vah." The very way her name rolled across his lips, in that distinctive Tony twang, the way he accentuated the beginning, gave her goosebumps. She studied him silently, eyes searching his face. He was older, the lines under his eyes heavier, but she sensed even his very soul was older too. Neither moved for what seemed like an age, before Tony shrugged, taking another swig of his beer, a smile that did not reach his eyes finding his lips. " I am here seeking advice from the eternal bachelor that is Leroy Jethro Gibbs, as to how to act in my new bachelorhood. You're more than welcome to join if misery is the companion you fancy."
" Bachelorhood?" It took her moment before it clicked, a wave of surprise rushing over her. " You and Zoe are no longer together?"
"Well," Tony started, swirling his beer to keep his eyes occupied, " she walked out on me. But I imagine that yes, that insinuates that we have broken up. Apparently, I don't know what I want in life, and I am only 'half a man' because of it. Something about leaving half my soul on a runway in Israel."
Ziva stared at him, his words washing over her, before shaking her head. " No, no, I will speak to her. I am sorry, I did not mean to cause you and her any trouble, I-"
" S'not about you, Ziva." She looked to him once again, his expression softened and he shrugged, voice quieter. " She told me this was long before you came. Apparently, I've changed, and I still need to keep changing until I find what I am looking for. Zoe deserved better than to be dragged through that, through me trying to find whatever is missing. Especially if that is the other half of my soul, the old Anthony DiNozzo, that I left on the tarmac. Sometimes I feel there's nothing more than a trace left of him."
He looked at her, cocking his head to one side as he considered her, watching her carefully. She too had changed since they had parted in Israel. She was older, but her eyes shone with a life he had not seen for many years before she had left. What had she done with herself during those years they had not spoken? Had she followed her list, the list they had sat and written in the sunshine, and buried beneath the trees? It was strange to him, seeing her, but not recognising her, he felt as though he barely knew her anymore. It was like meeting a blank canvas, with the trace of faint pencil marks left after someone had scrubbed them so carelessly from it. Lines he had drawn there, marks he had made, words he had traced with his fingers and heart.
"Perhaps that is all that remains now, Tony. A trace. Or maybe there is a something more." She watched him, before looking away, a finger finding a curl of hair to twist in. There was silence for a moment, before heavy footsteps came from the stairs to the basement, and Gibbs appeared, raising an eyebrow as they looked at him.
" Boat ain't gonna build itself, DiNozzo."
" Right, Boss. I was just…yeah. On it." He brushed past Ziva, saying nothing more, and disappeared back down the stairs to the basement, Ziva sighing heavily after he disappeared.
" This was me, Gibbs. I caused that. I said I was staying away, to change, to stop causing hurt, and this has proven it. I am here 5 minutes and look at what I am causing."
" You're assuming that you coming back caused that?"
Ziva blinked, confusion wrinkling her face. " Well, what else would it be? You heard Tony, he-"
" On the runway in Israel. Not in the last 2 weeks. Not even in the last month." She stared at him, eyes widening, before looking away, licking her lips almost nervously.
" That was many years ago Gibbs, you cannot think that that alone could-"
" You heard DiNozzo, Ziver," Gibbs started, heading to the kitchen and retrieving two beers, before returning to stand at the top of the stairs, " He doesn't forget. Think not hearing from you was the hardest part for him. You know how he is." He offered her the beer, smile returning once more. " Could use a hand with the boat. And the company."
Ziva hesitated, before taking the bear, laughing lightly before giving him a wry grin. " Is that you or Tony?" Gibbs chuckled lightly, heading down the stairs, Ziva following closely behind.
" Well…"
" I'll have you know DiNozzos make excellent carpenters, Officer or Agent David."
" Just not this one. Make a better paratrooper than a carpenter."
" Very funny, Boss."