Title: I'm a Shade Too Pale For Handsome and Have Habits I Can't Shake
Author: Emono
Rating: FRM
Fandom: Wrestling
Series: I'd Rather Fight With You Than Make Love With Anyone Else verse
Pairings: John Cena/Jack Swagger, Randy/Cody (Candy), Miz/Morrison, Chris/Evan, Hardycest
Disclaimer: The WWE is not mine nor are any of it's child branches, it is the 96% property of the McMahon's and God bless the bastards that work for them. I respect the sexual preferences and identities of all the wrestlers on WWE roster, and who they share a bed with is really none of my business.
Beta: gil_follower
Warnings: Wrestling violence, slash, episode re-writes, love, fluff, smut, good stuff, OOC
(AN: It's two in the morning, and I think this may my favorite. I loved writing this chapter right here!)
Jack was extremely bored.
It was still Thursday night, and most of the wrestlers were still up from sleeping late this morning. Midnight was nothing to wrestlers. Everyone was still up, roaming the halls, getting things to eat, talking loudly in the lobby, playing cards, some even beating up the vending machines to try and get free candy.
No one even really went to bed until about three, and that was just party-poopers like CM Punk.
With the way he could hear people carrying on in the hallway, you'd think it was midnight.
John went out who knows how long ago, leaving Jack bored and alone in the hotel room. He was laying upside down on the bed, head hanging over the edge in only his jeans. He was reading Jericho and Miz's Twitter war, it was kinda funny.
Ding!
Jack raised a brow, he had an IM.
RainbowEnigma: Are you up?
"What's Jeff doing up?" Jack wondered, then corrected himself "I mean, why isn't he fucking Matt's brains out right about now?"
J-Swag11: Yep. Bored
RainbowEnigma: Second that
J-Swag11: Where's Matt?
RainbowEnigma: *pout* Not entertaining me
J-Swag11: Obviously
RainbowEnigma: He's reading *pointed angry look across room*
Jack laughed loudly at this.
J-Swag11: *snicker*
RainbowEnigma: Where's John?
J-Swag11: Out somewhere in the hotel
J-Swag11: also not entertaining me
RainbowEnigma: Damn them and such
J-Swag11: Yeah
RainbowEnigma: Wanna do something fun?
J-Swag11: Are you propositioning me, Mr. Hardy?
RainbowEnigma: *grin* Despite the talk, I know I can't beat Cena in the ring. I don't need that kind of heat on my ass
J-Swag11: Is it a naked thing?
Jack had meant it as a joke, but was surprised when he got the reply.
RainbowEnigma: If you want it to be, but I prefer to keep my boxers on
Jack gaped at the tiny screen, his fingers working on autopilot.
J-Swag11: I don't think I'm aloud that sort of fun
RainbowEnigma: Come swimming with me
The blonde sat up, looking out the window.
J-Swag11: Not only is it midnight, it's raining
RainbowEnigma: The pool's lit
J-Swag11: Heated?
RainbowEnigma: Probably not, but we'll never know unless we jump in
J-Swag11: You want to go swimming?
RainbowEnigma: Just said that *smack* pay attention
J-Swag11: …
RainbowEnigma: Come on! Swimming? In the rain? After the night you had?
J-Swag11: …
RainbowEnigma: Consider it a celebration
Jack bit the side of his lip.
J-Swag11: I'm in
RainbowEnigma: Sweet!
J-Swag11: I've got no trunks
RainbowEnigma: Fuck that, meet me in the lobby in 5. Tell no one
J-Swag11: Synchronizing watches
Jack threw his phone to the side, jumping up in only his jeans and all but running out of the room. He nearly slammed right into Jeff, both grinning mischievously. Jeff was only in these violet H.I.M. boxers, his hair stained the damn near exact color. Together they ran down the hall, playfully shoving one another, trying to get to the elevator first.
Then the elevator dinged, and they both yelled spastically as they ducked into the stairwell.
Tommy Dreamer stepped out of the elevator, his foot hitting the carpet the moment the stairwell doors slammed shut. He took pause there, looking around with his brow creased.
"Something…" he declared to no one in particular, pointing at the floor "…something important, just happened here. I missed it."
He took a deep breath, then walked off grumbling, "I always miss all the good stuff!"
-xXxXxXx-
Cody was in the lobby, pacing, on his phone and getting crappy reception because of the rain. He really should buy a new, updated phone…but there was no point in wasting money on something he already had.
"So you saw the match, Dad?" Cody asked into the device, one hand pressed over his ear so concentrate on his father's voice "I know, I know…it wasn't Priceless. But even without Teddy, I thought I did…"
Anger flashed over Cody's face, scowling as his voice showed his outrage, "No, I'm not screwing Jack Swagger, Dad. Thanks for being a jackass though."
Cody winced at his father's harsh words, "You called me, remember? I though you were going to congratulate me on my match, but if you're just going to talk shit-"
Cody knew this was no way to speak to his father, and boy did Papa Rhodes chew him out. He hung his head, massaging the bridge of his nose.
"Fine, dad, whatever" Cody stated "But remember…you can't get in the ring anymore. It's my time now, and I'm not going to let you live through me. You saw what Mr. DiBiase did? That wasn't cool."
Cody's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, turning to pace the other way across the floor, "Oh! We agree on this. Wait…what do you mean you talked to him? You what?"
Cody chuckled at the image of his father chewing out Ted's dad.
"Yeah, dad, I…" Cody looked down at his phone, his service cut off.
Cody growled, throwing his phone into the nearby trash can.
"Piece of shit" he spat "I'll go get a new one tomorrow."
//Or just make Teddy buy it for me.//
Cody was about to storm back up to his room or go find Randy when he spotted them. Jeff Hardy and Jack were making their way down the stairs, the rainbow haired man in only his boxers. They had their heads together, grinning about some inside joke that was going on silently. They went by him without a look, Jeff quickening his step and hurrying to the glass doors that led out to the pool.
The Hardy slipped outside, the rain washed in and soaked some of the carpet. Jack was right behind him, but caught the reflection of the young Rhodes in the glass door.
Cody gave a faint smile when the man turned to him, head cocked. Jack shut the door, making his way over to the brunette.
"Hey" Jack stated, as if it were nothing to be standing there in nothing but a pair of jeans.
"Uh, hey" Cody glanced at the doors "What are you and Jeff doing?"
"We're going swimming" Jack stated, then he caught his breath and smiled brilliantly "Oh! Cody, come with us!"
"Swimming in the rain?"
"Come on! It's gonna be fun" Jack took his wrist, tugging insistently "It's just gonna be me and Jeff, no one's going to see us."
Cody chewed his lower lip, "I'm not sure…"
"How 'bout this…" Jack stated softly "If you don't enjoy yourself, you can punch me in the face ok?"
Cody fought off a smile, but it won and his lips curled up, "Ok."
"Let's go!"
-WwE-
All three of them were soaked through to the bone within the minute, the pull lit from the sides and glowing in the dark of the night and the rain. They said fuck-it and jumped the gate, too rushed to even think of unlatching it like normal people. All else was black, the walls of the hotel encasing them in the dark courtyard and cutting them off from the rest of the city. The rain itself was cold, and Jeff shouted that if they didn't jump in, they'd never know if the pool was heated.
Jeff jumped in, sinking into the surface and becoming a black streak in the ominously bottle green water. The whole area was glowing but, the light broke up in the rain and didn't hit the walls of the hotel.
Jack hesitated a moment, but he shed his jeans right there and exposed black boxer briefs. Cody hesitated just about as much as his friend, then stripped off his shirt and pants as well. His boxers were red, standing out in the dark.
The Tag-Team champions gave each other equal grins, then screamed and jumped in as well.
All was silent there in the courtyard, three dark shapes swimming through the radiating water.
Cody surfaced, screaming, "It's fuckin' freezing!"
Jeff resurfaced a bit quieter, slowly coming up until the water lapped just below his chin, "Oops."
But the grin on his face gave away his knowing.
Jack sputtered up, clawing the blonde hair out of his eyes, "Damn!"
But they really couldn't get the water out of their eyes, for the freezing rain beat mercilessly down upon their heads. Heavy rock music drifted down upon their heads as well, filling the area with a thick base.
Jeff splashed the younger men, laughing when they dove back under the water to avoid it. They splashed back, and it was on. The three of them carried on like children like this, splashing at each other's heads and laughing when they got the other. There were no teams, it was a free-for-all. Of course, that didn't stop Jeff and Jack from grabbing Cody up in the air and throwing him towards the 12-foot side.
Jack attempted to show his lung power, diving to the bottom and sitting there. Cody watched from underwater, rolling his eyes at the man's attempt. It was all fun and games until Jeff held him down, making the blonde flail and let loose a stream of bubbles before the Enigma let him up.
They tag-teamed up on Jeff, picking the Rainbow-Haired Warrior up in unison while he kept screaming "No! No! You brats, let me down! Stop it!". They dunked him hard, laughing when he came up and saw lavender-tinged streams of water coming off his hair.
"Wow, I didn't know you were so blonde!" Cody teased, getting a face-full of water.
The splashed further, trying to send bigger and bigger waves. The pool sloshed and gurgled with their movements, flowing over the edges and slicking the pavement. Jeff floated on his back, kicking out and giving the two a mouthful of water each. They just kept raking their hair back, growling, laughing, trying to outdo one another.
They didn't give a thought about how their near-bear bodies were being exposed to the cold.
-xXxXxXx-
Chris Jericho was a happy man right now, just Goddamn content with everything.
Chris was sitting there on the end of the bed, his suit jacket and tie lay forgotten on the floor. His white shirt was undone at the cuffs, his shoes and socks somewhere as well. Laying just beneath his tie was a certain Bourne To Fly t-shirt, the materials mingling together.
Chris had a warm, willing Evan in his lap…connected to his mouth, under his hands.
Evan pulled away enough to catch a breath, his nimble fingers coming up to play with the blonde's button-up shirt. He licked his lips, two sets of pupil-blown eyes meeting and refusing to look away first. Evan circled the ivory buttons, then undid the first three. Casually, sensually, Evan ran a finger around his lover's neck and back again, loosening the tight starch of his shirt.
Chris tilted his head back, a low moan escaping, "Evvy…"
Evan rocked his hips, leaning in and nipping sharply at the man's Adam's apple. Chris grabbed those lean hips and pressed him closer, grinning when he felt the distinct bulge of his lover's desire against his abdomen. Even though the ravenette was still in his jeans, all that hot skin and light panting was seriously getting to him.
"Oh, my Heaven, you're already so hot for me" Chris murmured into his ear, warm palms running over his back and the nape of his neck.
"I'm always hot for you" Evan replied, cheeks coloring at the nickname.
Their mouths met again, opening wide and letting hot tongues dance for all they were worth. Evan kept working at the white shirt, grinning into the kiss when it parted beneath his fingers. He started sliding it down those tan shoulders, Evan's heart rate jumping when he felt the blonde shudder.
Oh God, he loved this man.
"Evan!" came a thick voice from behind the door, scaring them both so bad the jolted apart from their kiss.
Chris hissed, his lover's nails biting into his shoulders.
"Cena" Evan hissed, rage showing in his dark eyes at the prospect of having his quality time with his lover disturbed. He gave Chris one last kiss, muttering something under his breath, then eased off him. Chris grinned at his lover's fury, glad to know he wouldn't have to get pissed in this situation.
Chris didn't like to get all Jericho in his lover's presence.
Evan opened the door just enough to see John standing there, clearly distressed and a bit out of breath, "Cena, you're interrupting my naked time. You better have a good reason."
John's eyes were pleading, "I can't find Jack, do you know where he is?"
Evan gaped at the older man, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Well?"
"I would castrate you right now, but Jack loves your dick too much" Evan slammed the door in his face "Look harder, Cena."
There was a pause behind the door, "Ok, I deserve that."
"Go away, John."
There was some grumbling, shoes against the carpet, "…a simple no would have done it…"
Evan made sure he was gone, then dead bolted the door. He turned back to the older man, leaning against the door and licking his lips at the sight of his Lionheart. Chris was leaning back, a small grin on his face and his hands supporting his weight. The way his hands were a bit behind him…it pulled open that ivory shirt, exposing the canvas of his smooth chest.
"I could fuckin' eat you, Chrissy."
And then Chris bit his lower lip, lashes lowering to half-mast…
Evan pounced at a run, pinning Jericho to the bed and devouring him.
-WwE-
John sat up suddenly at the deep thud on his hotel door, eyebrows raised at the harshness of it. He thought for a moment some drunken dumbass had fallen into the door and chose to ignore it, but the repeating beat sounded more like a knock.
"Stay here" John stood up, dressed only in his boxers as he started for the door.
"Ignore it, Johnny" came the throaty purr from the bed, the Miz arching his back and pulling against the cheetah-printed straps that kept him tied to the bed "You haven't even touched me."
John paused, looking back at his love. Poor Miz, all spread out on coverlet. A feast for his eyes and his eyes alone, smooth skin all over and muscles tense as his cock throbbed and leaked against his abs.
"I've touched you plenty, my little demon" John replied lowly "All I've done this past hour is touch you."
The blonde whined, "Not where it counts."
John raised a brow at him, "I could leave you tied there and not touch you again until the morning?"
"No, Johnny, please" oh, his beloved was so desperate and so lustful, it was hard for him to acknowledge whoever was outside the door when he had his lover at his mercy and needy "God, all I want is you inside me, and you know I want to touch you back."
John turned to the door, eyes lingering on his boy.
Miz wet his lips, "Ignore it and feed me your cock."
God! His demon was trying to kill him with talk like that, licking his lips and offering to take down his cock just the way he was. So beautiful…the ravenette stepped toward the bed, breath coming heavier.
"John! Quick thinking with your cock for two seconds and tell me where my boy is!"
"Oh" John ripped himself from the temptation, walking quickly towards the door and unlatching it. He opened it up wide, revealing none other than a very pissed off Randy Orton.
"Randy-"
"Cody's missing, he's just gone" Randy was clearly worked up "I can't find him anywhere, no one's seen him for hours!"
"Randy" John held out a hand, trying to calm down his friend with his hushed tone "Cody couldn't have just disappeared, ok? He's somewhere here. Have you checked your room?"
Randy flexed his neck, a sign that he was frustrated and trying to contain it, "Yes."
"DiBiase?""Ted's passed out."
"Why would I know?" John asked, the thought crossing him suddenly "I haven't been out of this room for about just as long."
"Because lately Cody's always with them!" Randy pointed at the bound man on the bed "Him, Swagger, and Bourne. I hoped…"
"What?" John snorted, blocking his lover from view by angling the door "That we were in here having a threesome? That I was corrupting him?""I'd rather him be cheating than be gone" Randy averted his eyes "He could be anywhere, someone could have taken him! God, John, he's just a baby among some of these guys. What if-?"
"Enough" John held up a hand, actually managing to cut his friend off "Go check the front desk, ok? Those girls down there know everything."
Randy nodded once, then left down the hall.
John shook his head at the sight, locking the door firmly. He turned and made his way back to the bed, taking delight in the way Mike squirmed on the coverlet.
"Ok, Demon, you'll get what you want" John knelt on the mattress, grinning when sun-kissed legs parted for him like water. He reached out, running two fingers over the smooth skin of his inner-thighs.
"Fuck me" Miz mewled, totally lost in anticipation for what was to come.
"All that you want, honey, all you want."
-xXxXxXx-
Out of the three men, none of them heard the gate creak open…the sound of water pelting thick woven material, the quiet laugh.
"Jeff."
The deep voice cut off their laughter, their play ceasing as they all three turned toward the far end of the pool.
There stood the darker Hardy, sable eyes showing amusement and rose-tinted lips quirking up. He had an umbrella over his head, big enough to cover two if needed, and a very large fluffy white towel in his hands.
Jeff half-hid behind Jack, sure he was in trouble, "Hey Matty."
"Little brother" Matt clicked his tongue, giving the man a certain look "What are you doing?"
Jeff's lower lip started to plump, hands laced on Jack's shoulder now, "Playing?"
"I think you're done" Matt stated, getting a low whine "Jeff, it's freezing out here. It's raining, for fuck's sake. I know you're immune system is good, but I don't wanna push it. You've got a fight tomorrow, remember? A pretty fucking important fight, if I remember…defending your title and all."
Jeff moved away from the other two, slicking his hair back as he made his way to the shallow end, "Are ya mad at me, Matt?"
Matt rolled his eyes, unrolling the towel with a flick of his wrist, "No, baby brother. I suppose it's my fault. I didn't amuse you enough, did I?"
"You were reading" Jeff offered as a way of explanation, ascending the steps there "You said I was buggin' ya."
"I can't believe you dragged these two with you" Matt threw his chin at the two younger men standing there in the water just watching. Jeff took the offered towel, wrapping it around his shoulders. It almost went down to his knees, something warm for his goose-pimpled skin.
Matt curled a hand in blonde locks, humming in content as his younger brother nosed under his jaw affectionately, "Come on, pretty boy, it's time for bed."
"How long have we been out here?" Cody inquired.
Matt's eyes fluttered back open, his stare piercing, "Almost two hours. It's time for all good little boys to get back inside."
Jack made a face, "What if we don't wanna?"
"Then one John Cena and one Randy Orton are just going to keep running around the hotel screaming" Matt stated, smiling as they paled "They've been looking for you two."
"Oh man" Cody groaned, trudging through the water towards the stairs with the blonde in tow "Dude, I think we're in trouble."
"No shit, Sherlock."
Cody stuck his tongue out at the older man, both climbing up the stairs and getting a full hit of night air.
Matt pulled his little brother closer to his side, keeping them both shielded as they all made their way back inside the hotel. The three started shivering, Cody and Jack hugging themselves when they realized how fuckin' cold they actually were.
Matt closed the doors behind them, blocking off the rain. He took down the umbrella, shaking it before tossing it to the side. It wasn't even his.
At the front desk, Orton and Cena were all but fighting over the girl there's attention. She was flushed, looking between them, worried even as they talked over one another.
"Hey!" Matt shouted, getting their attention. Both men stopped, turning around, looking upon the group there. Their mouths fell open in shock.
"Oh shit" John looked over his lover, worry creeping into his eyes. Jack was standing there with his arms around himself, dripping wet. Flaxen hair plastered to his forehead, almost obscuring his eyes and reminding him that he needed to make Jack cut it soon. He was shivering, his lower lip trembling.
"Damn" Randy looked over his lover, recognizing Cody was in much the same position. Only his shivers were near violent, his lithe frame wracked with them.
Of course, a group of the Divas in the lobby (who had just been dying for some ice cream) started whistling and applauding them. The way they were soaked through? Their boxer-briefs clung to them in some very impressive ways. Randy and Cena shot them equally fierce glares, and they shut up.
"Here" Matt walked toward them, brandishing large fluffy towels (his brother in tow behind him) "They'll need these."
Jeff chuckled darkly, pressing up behind his brother "That is, unless you like having your pretties ogled."
"Fuck you, Hardy" Randy snatched one of the towels, scowling and walking away.
John gave Matt a half-smile, accepting his towel a bit more calmly, "Thanks, guys."
The Hardy Boyz gave him that patented grin, and he hurried to get away from them.
"You're evil, you know that?" Matt led his brother away, Jeff already to jump into bed after having so much fun.
-WwE-
"Cody, what were you thinking?" Randy scolded, going over and wrapping his boy up in the towel "It's not even 50 outside and it's raining, so you think it's a good time to go swimming?"Cody just grinned up at him sheepishly, sucking in a sharp breath.
"It's my fault" Jack stated, John wrapping a fluffy towel around his own shoulders "I t-talked him into it."
"You're going to get sick, you know that" Randy half-scolded, curling his arm around the brunette's waist and leading him away (lowering his voice so only the other could hear him) "Let's get you in bed, warm you up before you get Death."
"You're too good to me" Cody's smile was weak, but his lover's touch was warm.
"You're in trouble now" John teased, cupping the side of Jack's face and brushing back blonde tresses "Corrupting Orton's sweet little angel?"
Jack attempted to curl his quivering lips into a pout, "Jeff corrupted me first."
"Orton's right about one thing, you're both gonna be sick as hell if you don't get dried soon" John wrapped the towel tighter around him, urging him toward the stairs "Give you a nice hot shower, then I'm putting you to bed."
"…that sounds r-really good right now."