"So wait are you telling me that you may have felt something for Fitz?" Alli asks me shocked. We had met at the Dot the next morning.

"No." I sigh. "I don't know." I shake my head and sigh again, "All I know is when we were leaned towards each other and I thought he wanted to kiss me, I wasn't running away."

"But you did run away." Alli stated.

"No, I didn't."

"But you did. You said you left early and told him that your bus would be coming soon when you fully knew your bus wouldn't be there for like 30 minutes." She shook her head, "I think you knew if you stayed there and he tried to kiss you, you would have let him."

"No, Alli, I wasn't going to kiss him." I whisper.

"Then why do you feel so guilty, Clare? You didn't do anything wrong."

"Alli, I lied to Eli and told him I went to my grandmother's last night and then I'm with Fitz and all I can think about is I wonder what it would feel like if he did kiss me. I'm pretty sure that is something wrong."

"Clare, so what? You told Eli a little lie to get him off your back. You do have a little rebel in there." She smiled, "Besides, isn't it awesome to have some sort of secret life?"

I smile and laugh, "Kind of like you with your one outfit for leaving your house and another once you get away from your parents? Or the ever famous quiet sex life you have so your parents don't find out?"

"Exactly!" She smiles. "It's kind of a rush to see if you get caught or not. That's why I think later on in life when I'm married, I'll end up having an affair just for the excitement of it."

"Alli!"

She smiled, "What? I'm just kidding, Clare." She giggles, "Besides, if I didn't know any better, I would really think you are starting to enjoy spending time with Fitz."

I shrug, "He really isn't all that bad, Alli. He is really actually smart, but he doesn't want to show it which I really think is just because he thinks people expect him to be the dumb school bully, so he plays the part."

She shrugs, "And I think you have something for guys who are messed up and you want to save. Just be careful, Clare. You may be playing with fire."

"Alli, are you not the one that encouraged me to continue tutoring Fitz behind Eli's back?" I whisper afraid someone would hear.

"That's the fire I think you should be concerned about. I really don't think Eli is always playing with a full deck, Clarebear." I go to ask her what she means by that when I hear her cell phone beep and she picks it up and I see her texting. "Crap, I gotta go. Sav is on his way. Apparently, we have some family thing we gotta do today." She stands up and kisses me cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Ok, bye."

I walk home in the fresh fallen snow. I loved the winter time right after a snow storm. I loved the trees with the snow hanging off them. The peacefulness of it all. I reach my house and open the front door to hear my parents fighting for what seems like the 1,000th time this week.

"Oh Randall, why don't we just call it the end then? Obviously, your family is not the most important thing to you anymore." I hear my mother's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Do not push all this on me Helen," I hear him reply. "You haven't exactly been the most loving wife over the years. Do you even remember the last time we had sex?"

I walk back out the front door quietly shutting the door behind me. I sit down on the front step. I can feel the cold through my jeans. I didn't want to stay here today. I needed to go. I take out my cell phone.

Clare: Hey what are you doing?

Eli: Hey babe I'm on a road trip with my dad. He got tix to see some band he liked when he was my age. Apparently thinks I might like them. Didn't want to let the old man down so I agreed to go. How's your visit w/ur g-mom?

Clare: Came back early

Eli: Oh. U should have told me u were coming back early. Could have gone with Bullfrog and me

Clare: it's ok. I'll c u Monday school

Eli: k

I sat there wondering what to do. I knew Alli was busy and Adam and Drew were away for the weekend. I stood up and started just walking. I didn't know where I was headed. I just knew I wasn't going back into my parents house.

"Son-of-a-bitch," I yelled at the TV. "Yeah nice you punk ass kid." I mumble into my headphones.

"Mark," I hear my mom yelling over the voices coming through my headphones.

"What?" I ask as I take off the headphones. "I'm in the middle of a game, Mom."

"Mark, you just yelled at some child for shooting you." She laughed. I gave her a look, "Look, I know how into your x-box thingy you are but I thought you would like to know that you have a visitor." She smiled.

"I do?" I ask throwing the controller and headphones onto my bed.

"Yes, you do." She smiles. "Clare's here." She smiles again and leaves my room.

I jump off of my bed and quickly look down to see I'm still wearing just boxers. I grab a pair of jeans off the floor and a t-shirt out of my dresser.

"He'll be right out, Clare." I hear my mom saying. "He's been in on that game box thing of his all morning."

"Oh if he's busy, I can come back," I hear her say.

I run out of my room with the shirt still in my hand, "Wait, no, you don't have to go. I'm not busy."

"Oh." She smiles timidly and blushes.

"Um, Mark," I hear my mom's voice, "I think we should greet guests fully dressed."

I look down to see my bare chest and my shirt still in my hand, "Sorry." I throw my shirt on. "Did we have plans for tutoring today?" I ask wondering why she was there.

"Um no…" She trailed off. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have just come unannounced."

"Clare, don't be silly," my mom smiles warmly at her. "Mark wasn't doing anything that he couldn't take time away from to study."

"On a Saturday?" My mom shoots me a glare. "Sure, um what did you want to study?"

"Ummm…" There was something bothering Clare. I could see it in her eyes. She looked sad.

My mom must have noticed as well, "You know, I just remembered I have some shopping to do. I think I'm going to be gone awhile so you two will have the place to yourself. Nice and quiet for some study time."

"Oh Mrs. Fitzgerald, you don't have to leave." Clare smiled shyly.

"Clare, don't be silly. I really have to get some Christmas shopping done and then I'm meeting a friend from work in a few hours anyhow so you guys will have plenty of time to get some studying done." She smiled as she walked to the closet by the front door and took out her coat. She put on her coat and smiled, "Call my cell if you need anything, Mark."

I nodded. I watched my mom leave and saw Clare take a deep breath. "So what did you want to work on today?" I ask. "Didn't you say last night that you would call me today to set up for next week?"

"Did I?" She squeaks out. "I was sure I said I would stop by today."

"No, I'm pretty sure you didn't say that." It was then that I noticed she was on the verge of tears. "Clare, is something wrong?"

"Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"Because, you look like you are about to cry and you don't have your bag so that tells me you didn't come here to study so the question is why are you really here?"

"I didn't know where else to go." I saw her swallow hard and a tear ran down her cheek.

I walk to her and take her hand and lead her to sit on the couch. I sit down next to her and help her take off her coat and gloves. She's barely moving on her own. "What happened?" I ask quietly.

"I was out for coffee today with Alli and she had to leave and so I decided to go back home and I walked in on my parents having a terrible fight." She sighed and I saw more tears start streaming down her face. "It seems that's all they do anymore."

"I'm sorry." I state quietly. "I know how it feels."

"I think my parents are going to get a divorce," she begins to sob. I put my arm around her and she leans into my side putting her head on my shoulder. "My parents always seemed to have the perfect relationship. So many things in common. So much love. Now, when we sit down to eat dinner one of them is usually missing or they stare daggers at each other."

"I'm really sorry, Clare." I sigh. "Watching your parents marriage crumble really sucks. I know."

"How old were you when your parents divorced?" She whispered.

"I was around 9 or so." I state. "They'd been fighting for a long time and then one day I came home from school and my mom was gone." I sigh.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "What happened with your parents?"

"Oh you know they were high school sweethearts, got pregnant, got married right out of high school, and then along came me." I smile. "I remember when I was small I always thought they were like a couple on a TV show. Perfect. Happy." I sigh, "But that was all on the surface. Underneath it all, they were hiding how unhappy they really were. Finally, one day my mom had enough and she left. She just up and left me with my dad."

"That really sucks," She sighed.

I nod. "Yeah, I blamed myself for a long time after she left. I guess in a way I still do."

"Why?" I hear her ask quietly.

I shrug, "I don't know. I guess you know because I was young and thought she left because I had done something wrong, but now I understand that there was just no way for them to work out the problems that had been brewing for a long time. What about your parents?"

"I don't know. I guess maybe I didn't really notice at first. I mean a couple months ago was the first time I had really heard my parents fight. I was asleep one night, and I woke up and decided to go get a drink and as I was walking down the stairs, I could hear their voices raised in the living room. My mom was yelling about all the time my dad spends working. He was saying that she needed to understand that he had to work a lot because he had to make sure that we were taken care of." I stopped listening and went back to bed. She sighed, "That's what I just don't understand my mom should be proud of my dad's accomplishment at work. He's been working hard to get where he has. Sometimes, my mom is just too hard on him."

"I know it sucks to hear this and you won't believe me when I tell you this, but sometimes you know it turns out for the best." I try to sound positive.

"I don't think so, Fitz." She cries. "It's just I always thought my parents would be in love forever and now I'm starting to think it's all fake."

"What is?" I ask her confused.

"Love. Relationships. I look at all the relationships around me, Fitz, and they are all fake." She sobs again. "Have you ever seen a relationship work out?"

"Well, no, but that doesn't mean that they don't. I mean I guess if you're right for each other, then it will all work out, you know?" We stop talking and she continued to cry with her head on my shoulder. I kept one arm around her while rubbing her back. She never moved and continued to just let me comfort her.

"I'm sorry." She whispers sometime later.

"For what?"

"Coming over here like that and just breaking down on you." She sits up and wipes away her tears.

I shrug, "I don't mind."

She turns and looks at me shocked, "Really? Come on, Fitz, you really don't come off as someone who allows girls to lean on his shoulder and cry."

"Well, you would be shocked to know that this shoulder has been used a lot." I squeeze her closer. She looks at me eyes wide with surprise. "Yeah, Bianca has used it several times. You know after every time some random guy she hooks up with doesn't call her the next day or some girl at school makes a comment about her being well, you know." I smile. She giggles. "What?"

"You just keep surprising me, Fitz."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I have to be honest. When I agreed to tutor you, I really thought it was going to be horrible. I guess I assumed you were…"

"Dumb?" I laugh.

She smiles, "I mean based on how you were at school? Yes." She giggles. Oh how what that giggle was doing to me. "And then I mean there was Vegas Night."

I stop smiling and remove my arm from around her, "Look, Clare, about Vegas Night. You do really know I was never going to stab Eli, right?"

"Fitz, if you would have let me finish, remember when I first started tutoring you, I said I thought there was a good side to you?" I nod. "Well, I really believe that deep down inside you is this really sweet guy who hides behind the person he thinks he should be and not the person that he can be. You proved that today just by being here for me." She paused, "Fitz, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What would you think if I told you that I want to go to Simpson and appeal to him to see if you can come back to Degrassi sooner than next fall?"

"What?" I ask her shocked, "Clare, do you realize that no one wants me there? I mean nobody."

She shrugs, "You shouldn't worry about what other people think." She smiles, "Besides, maybe I would like you there."