Chapter 10

It was a difficult week for Leah and Lucas both, but by the end of it they'd gotten the house cleared out and everything secured for a time of inoccupation. The last thing they did before returning to the Orizaba was set the plaques to the memorial tree. Her father's was simple and matched her mother's plaque. Lucas had chosen an Alliance Trident image for his father's plaque and the image of a woman with a child raised above her for his mother's. Hackett was shocked when Leah pulled out a fourth plaque decorated with the image of a sun and moved almost to tears when he read Antonia Carmen Hackett. He recognized the sun from Argentina's flag then. He kissed her feverishly when she stepped back to his side. It was all he could do to express his gratitude at being included.

They were packing to return to the shuttle when Hackett received a priority call. He stepped away for privacy, but returned shortly. "They have Shepard. She's hurt, but she's back on the Normandy." Hackett's week had been busy on all sides. He was currently 'hosting' a Batarian official on the Orizaba, under suspicion of his collusion in Shepard's disappearance. "Apparently I owe Balak an apology."

"I hope he accepts it. The Batarians have never been cooperative." Leah finished up with her packing and let her fingers dance across his cheek as she passed. Hackett couldn't resist capturing her for a quick kiss. "All right, you insatiable man. Not that I'm complaining, but we need to get moving so don't start something we can't finish right now. I assume that we'll be headed to Sur'kesh."

"As soon as we board. We've tested the Relay and it works like new. We'll be there a day or two at least." He let her go and finished with his own packing. He'd enjoyed this week, exhausting as the trips to and from the ship were. He liked the land and he liked the house. He had an idea to talk with her about when they had the time. He could hear her calling to Luc to see if he was ready to go or if he needed help with anything. The feeling of belonging to a family, that it brought, was something he hadn't known in a long time. He liked having that sense of family more than he'd admit.

Leah stuck her head into the bedroom Luc had been occupying. "Need a hand, buddy?"

"No, I'm almost ready." He finished zipping up his duffle. The backpack he'd arrived with was waiting by the bed. "Miss Leah?" He said tentatively.

"Yeah, Luc?" She stroked his hair away from his eyes and he flipped it back with a shake of his head in a typical teenaged fashion.

"Thanks, for letting me say goodbye."

"You're welcome, Luc. We can come back anytime to visit if you want." She offered.

"No, that's okay. I mean, maybe sometime, but I guess I can talk to them anywhere now." He sounded miserable.

"Yes, you can. They're always with you." She went in and hugged him tight. "Steven and I are here too. We aren't your mom and dad, but we love you, okay?" He nodded and turned to hide his face in her shoulder.

"I miss mom, Leah." It was the first time he'd just called her Leah, and she took it as a good sign that he was adjusting to their new dynamic.

"I know. I'm not her, but if you need me I'm here." He nodded, and pulled back.

"I'll let you know." He shouldered the pack and picked up his duffle. "I'll go load this in the shuttle."

"I'm right behind you. We're just waiting on Admiral too many things to juggle." They shared a grin.

"I heard that, woman." Hackett's voice came from behind. "I'm loaded and waiting on you two slow pokes." He returned.

"Well then, let's get moving." She let them lead the way out and made sure to turn out the lights. She locked up and they boarded the shuttle.

The trip started with Hackett meeting Balak and apologizing to the Batarian leader.

"I understand the caution, Admiral. Through all this I've learned that for my people to survive, changes have to be made from within the Hegemony. We can still be our own people, and fit with the rest of the galaxy, but some of our ways must change. I may have hated Shepard before, but she has proven that she would do anything for the peoples of the galaxy. Even my own. Not all my people feel this way. Not all understand that if we had just listened to her and prepared that maybe we would not be on the brink of extinction."

"I'm glad there's no hard feelings, Balak. Start working on your people and approach the council again when things calm down. They have been forced to make their own changes because of this war." Hackett offered reassurance.

"I had heard that they now have several new councilors. Perhaps we will grow as a people enough to join them one day. I assume that you are going to take possession of the responsible parties."

"Only briefly, they will be tried by the council. They have committed acts of war here, but I will speak to the council on behalf of the batarian peoples as a whole. I know that they weren't working on orders from you. In fact your order to bring Shepard in alive is probably what saved her, and I'll send the council to you for any inquiries." Balak left it at that, and they were soon in transit to the Annos Basin. The jump didn't take long, but the flight between systems would take several hours. Hackett spent the time in his office while Leah and Lucas organized their quarters. The furniture had been swapped earlier in the week, and they were putting the finishing touches on their individual spaces. Luc decorating his walls and Leah melding her possessions with Steven's.

Gable dropped in to talk to Lucas one on one, and was satisfied with the boy's answers. "He's coping well enough. Stop worrying, Leah. He's dealing with things in his own way. Just be there."

"It's hard, John. I feel a little out of my element, so I keep falling back on what I would have done as a teacher."

"That's a good practice actually. Teachers are there to support children in a very similar fashion to parents. He just needs time, Leah."

"I know. He has been doing so much better since I took him out of the foster home. He was a mess when I got him, and it's only been a week."

"I think he didn't feel comfortable with those others. Not enough to let himself grieve and start to heal. I should have seen that it might be a problem for him. The other children have new families or their own family members and felt safe. Luc only has you it would seem."

"Steven too, now." She reminded.

"Now, and then as well, though he didn't realize it." Gable agreed. "I think it'll just be a matter of time. It won't be easy, but he's getting there." He eyed her critically. "How are you handling everything?"

"I'm okay, John. Steven is a big help there, but I've lost a parent before. I know the steps to take. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to hold on to the house and the land, but I'm taking it a day at a time."

"Something happened with you two, didn't it?" He was sly, but transparent.

She was amused now. "Not that it's your business, Doctor, but we had that talk that we knew was coming. It helped. I finally met that handsome man on that boat we were on."

"I suppose it did. You've changed rooms." He said knowingly.

"I won't ever sleep without him again if I can help it. I'm pretty certain he feels the same. Oh, you can tell Rin that she won't have to share her students with me. I'm going to tutor Luc here for a while. When he's ready we can integrate him into her classroom, but for the time being I'll conduct his classes."

"A good idea. She really doesn't mind you helping out either. She proposed a plan to Hackett to divide up the class into different age groups, so that there'd be a position for you." He smiled fondly at the thought of his wife.

"I appreciate that. You know, I'd like to meet her and say thanks. I might take her up on that soon, but for now, I'd like to focus on Luc."

"That's understandable. He's never lived shipside, so it'll be an adjustment to that on top of everything else. I assume you have lived on a ship before."

"Not since I was a little girl, but yeah. I think we moved to Colorado when I was nine or ten. No, it was closer to thirteen. That's a story I don't think I'll be sharing." She grinned at the thought of it though, remembering her dad saying she was becoming a regular little woman in the moderate-size cabin they'd lived in. "We'll be okay, I just really wanted to have you involved. I don't want to do the wrong thing and hurt Luc more than help."

"You have a decent grasp of how to deal with a grieving child. You've taken care of yourself well enough. Most patients I've seen that had the trauma you've both had take years of counseling to recover. You've gotten past the hardest parts without too much help from me. I think you'll be fine." Gable stood to return to medbay. He still had patients after all.

"Thanks. I am glad that you chose to help me. Those others didn't know what to do. So they mostly ignored me. I didn't care enough anymore to help myself. I'm sorry I was so broken by all that."

"Stop, never apologize for grieving for the kids you thought lost."

"I know, it was just no matter what I did I saw them. I saw them, Jeda and the boys, after the husks had done with us. I woke up for short intervals for a while before they found me. The reapers were gone and thank all the gods that there weren't any cannibals with them, so the bodies were badly damaged, but mostly untouched. When I woke in that hospital camp…no one said anything about the other kids. I just thought they'd been lost too. I started seeing all of them as broken as Jeda, Berrol, and Deakan." She explained.

"I know all this, Leah. I'm glad you're finally talking about it with me, but I figured out the cause of your mental state long ago." He placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"I'm still sorry I didn't just ask about them. I'm a little mad at myself for not asking right away instead of assuming. I hated that I'd lived and they hadn't."

"Don't regress, Leah. It's over now, I don't think less of you for it. And I know that Steven most definitely doesn't. He'll never say it but he's a bit of a soft spot for kids. I think it stems from how he grew up after his mother passed." Gable explained. "I've worried over him a long time. He needed someone in his life to balance work with life. Being Fleet Admiral became his only focus for a time. That wasn't healthy at all."

"Oh, don't worry about my admiral. I'm keeping him on his toes."

"I don't doubt that. You really should let him get some sleep every once in a while though." He chuckled at her blush.

"Who says I'm the one keeping him awake. I swear, whomever it was that told him he was old was a gigantic idiot." They laughed a moment. "Its actually more mutual, sometimes its him reaching for me and some times the other way. We'll normalize eventually. In the meantime I plan to fully enjoy this new, hmm, vigorous side to him." It was Gable who was embarrassed this time. Leah laughed, "now, get out of here. I've got things to accomplish in that room of ours."

By the time they'd returned to Earth, Hackett had seen Shepard himself to make sure she was okay, and the three of them had a tentative routine. Hackett headed to his office in the mornings. Leah and Lucas spent that time with schoolwork. The afternoon was free time for Luc, and Leah would make dinner while tidying their quarters or drawing in her pad, or just being lazy watching ANN or a vid. Hackett would return and the three of them would eat together. Luc was venturing out some, he'd go down to work out or jog. He'd met a couple boys his own age and they were fast friends.

The tour made it to Tuchanka, and the Relays continued to be repaired. Shepard's group wasn't the only group repairing relays as they went. After a few months more, the Fleets were on the way to Arcturus to start rebuilding the station. The galaxy was healing.

Hackett had insisted on being hands on in rebuilding the station, and, as a result, had been coming home exhausted the last few days. Leah was worried about him. She cornered him, finally, after he'd showered for bed. "I talked to John. He agrees with me that you're pushing yourself too hard."

"Leah, I'm fine."

"No you're snappy and tired. You need to take a day or two and rest. Steven, I don't want you to run yourself into the ground." They'd been arguing over this issue for days now.

"Leah, you aren't going to let this go are you?" Truthfully, he was too tired to argue it any more.

"Of course not, I love you. I want to take care of you. You aren't letting me." She moved around behind him, and urged him into their room. "Get on the bed, face down, Steven." She ordered and locked both doors into the room. She returned to him then and stripped him of his robe.

"What are you doing, Leah? I'm-" He protested.

"Exhausted, I know. You've been too exhausted to do anything but eat, shower and fall asleep for over a week now. I'm taking care of you whether you like it or not." He went to get up and she tackled him to the bed and straddled his hips. "I'll tie you to this bed if you try to get up again, my love." She reached to the stand by her side of the bed and pulled out some lotion. She made sure that it wasn't her jasmine scented lotion, to preserve his masculine pride, and squeezed some into her hand. She then proceeded to massage it into his back. The firm muscles there were tight with stress and fatigue.

"Oh, god, that feels amazing." He gave in to her then.

"I know. I've been waiting to do this for you for a few days now. Just lie there and enjoy it, Hon." Her ire was calming down as he let her soothe his soreness away.

"I love you, Leah."

"Back at you, ya mule." He laughed at her teasing. "I've missed you. Luc won't say it, but he misses talking with you in the evenings."

"I miss you both, too. We're almost finished with this section, when we are done, I'll take a few days. We can go somewhere to relax." He hesitated a moment, but stayed the course. "We can maybe head back to Colorado. I've been thinking on that one a while. I think we should hold on to the place. It could be our vacation home while we're with the fleets and we can live there once I retire."

"You really want to?"

"I do, Leah, it's a wonderful place for us. Your parents made it a haven for their family. We can do the same." He felt her posture stiffen.

"Are we a family, Steven?" She asked him tentatively.

"Marry me, and we'll be official, but to my mind…we've been a family since before Luc came to live with us." He'd brought up marriage several times in casual conversation or a joking manner to disguise how much he was starting to crave having Leah as his wife. He felt the rigid posture harden and rolled beneath her, so that he was looking up at her straddling his hips. "Leah?"

"That's like the fourth time you've mentioned getting married this week." She combed her fingers through the hair on his chest before tracing the line of muscle down the center of his body. "You weren't really joking about it were you?"

"At first, I thought I was, Leah. As the weeks have gone by, I've come to realize that all I want is to be your husband. I want you as my wife. Maybe someday add to the family." He confessed his most private dreams for them.

"You really want that, maybe kids someday?" She sounded scared and he pulled her tight to make it go away.

"Absolutely," he hesitated, but realized there was no reason to keep anything from her, "quite some time ago I made a deposit of genetic material. Most soldiers keep those samples private so that they are on hand if something happens and they are unable to have kids. I didn't ever see myself finding someone to share a child with, so I had it available for donation. I was notified that my sample had been pulled for use about a week ago. It got me thinking about what I really want with you."

"And?"

"I want it all. I want the house, kids, dog, married life that I never thought about enough to want it. I want Luc to feel like part of our family and be a brother to any child we might have." He was confused and a little hurt at her laugh. Then he noticed the brittle tone of it and worried that something had happened. "Leah?"

She shook her head and wiped away a stray tear. "I didn't know how to tell you about the small scare I had a little over a month ago. It turned out to be nothing, well, a virus so not nothing, but I had Gable put my birth control to rights."

"You thought you were pregnant?" He was hurt that she was just now telling him about it.

"For maybe four hours I thought I might be pregnant. We didn't exactly take any kind of precautions those first couple months. I assumed that my implant was renewed after I'd been found, but I didn't know." She caressed his face softly. "I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know what would have been worse, for you to be disappointed or relieved that I wasn't. So, I just didn't say anything." She wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Disappointed." He sounded that way now, too. "I love you, but you have to share things like that with me, Leah."

"I know, I'm sorry, I know. I just," she shook her head to clear it, "I'm an idiot. I didn't tell you because I didn't know how you'd react, and then I didn't tell you because I felt like an ass for not telling you right away."

"Next time just tell me." He settled his head forward against her.

"I will, I'm sorry, Steven." Her arms slid around his shoulders to hold him to her.

"It's okay, Leah." He looked up at her then. "So wanna marry me?" He asked quietly.

"You know, I think I do." He smiled then. "No, I know that I do." Her fingers traced the scar on his face, and she fell a little more in love with that twinkle in his icy, blue eyes.

"When is too soon?" He asked seriously.

"Now, now would be a little too soon, but after tonight there is no too soon." She kissed him lightly and tried to pull back. Hackett didn't let her go anywhere though.

When he'd finished thoroughly ravishing her lips he pulled back a little. "I'll work on clearing some time and finding someone to keep an eye on Luc while we are away."

"Away?" She was a little dazed from the kiss.

"We are going to have a little honeymoon/vacation just the two of us after." His hands were busy on her pajamas.

"Okay. I'll talk to John. Luc can meet Rin, and maybe I'll finally get to as well. He needs the company of other kids. He's doing well with the tutoring, but he needs to get out there with his friends."

"I think that would be a step in the right direction." He was more focused on her than the conversation and she let him pull her with him. "Make sure he's ready though."

"I'll talk to him in the morning. If he likes the idea then we'll talk to Rin." She gasped when his hands found a sensitive spot. "Steven."

"Right here." He was giving her a cocky grin, so she kissed him for it. Their conversation became a secondary concern after that.

Three days later, it was decided that Luc would start in the classroom in a few weeks when the new semester started. Leah and Lucas had just finished his lessons for the day when Gable commed Leah.

"Hi, John!" She greeted cheerfully, then saw his face. "What's happened?"

"Leah, there's been an accident." They were the words she had started to fear the most over the weeks since Hackett had insisted on helping with the rebuilding.

"Steven?" She could hear the tremble in her voice. Lucas was on his way to the kitchen and heard it as well.

"What's going on?" He sounded like a little boy with the fear in his voice. Leah beckoned him over and took is hand to pull him down beside her on the couch.

"There was a collapse in the section they were working on. Several of them are still buried in there." He heaved a great sigh. "Steven is in there. We haven't been able to reach him over the comm. I've got patients coming in already from the site. They say he was a lot deeper in than they were, inspecting the next section. We just don't know."

"Where can we go? Where do you need me, John?" She was keeping a tight reign on the fear and the worry and the premature grief. "I can't sit here on my hands, what can I do?"

"You and Luc need to stay calm. If you need something to do head down to medbay, and I'll have you helping with minor injuries." He turned at a call, and listened to the other person for a moment. "You know basic first aid, right?" At her nod he continued, "we could use you here then. Take Lucas to Rin. She'll keep him occupied. Just tell her what's happened."

"Okay, I'll be there soon." She ended the call and turned to Luc. "Let's get moving."

"But Leah, if he is out there past where they were working he's in a vac suit. He doesn't have much air." The worry in his voice was heartbreaking.

"I know, Luc. I'm trying not to think about that. They've got to find him." She let her mask slip a little then when she thought of their recent decision. They hadn't even told Lucas their news yet. "We are going to get married as soon as they bring him back. I don't care if it's in the medbay." She declared.

"You guys are thinking of getting married?" He asked startled.

"He asked me, for real and not kind of a joke, a couple days ago. We were trying to work out the details ourselves before telling everyone." She pulled him close for a reassuring hug. "I wanted to be in possession of all the facts before we told you."

"Okay, but I'm happy for you, you know?"

"I know, and I won't do it again. From now on anything that affects us all will be shared as soon as possible. No more holding back." She declared firmly.

"What do you mean?" He caught on to the tone of her voice and knew that there was something else.

"I let it slip to him, so I might as well let you in on it too. About a month ago I thought I might be pregnant. I'm not, but I thought I was for a few hours there. I didn't tell either of you because I didn't think it was a big deal. Steven set me straight, but believe me, if I am ever pregnant you and Steven will be the first to know."

"You want to have kids then?" He was a little worried sounding.

"I think so. I think I'd like to have Steven's children. I'd like my kids to grow up with a brother like you around, too. You'd be an amazing older sibling to have." He smiled then a little relieved. "I want you to be a part of our family whether we have our own kids or not, Luc. I know you had a mom and dad that were amazing, and I don't want you to think that I'm trying to replace them. I do want you to be a part of Steven's and my family for good. He's already your legal guardian. We are going to push through the adoption as soon as we are married."

"If we find him in time." Luc said sadly.

"We will find him, Luc. Even if I have to strap on a suit and go looking myself. We have to believe he'll be okay." She said it with more conviction than she felt, but Luc nodded reassured.

"I don't want to lose another dad, Leah." His voice was cracking now.

"Oh, baby, I don't want to lose him either. I don't know what I'll do without him." She rested her head on his. "If we do lose him, you will have me. He's already put me in his will as your guardian if something happens to him."

"I don't care about that." He pulled away. "Well, I do, but I just got a family again. We all were finally feeling like a family, and I don't want to lose that again."

"That's what I'm saying, Luc. You won't. We might be a member short, but you and I can still be a family." He nodded again. "Okay, let's get you a bag packed in case I have to stay in medbay for a while. Then we can get you down to the classroom." She stood and pulled him up, and helped him pack his bag. They were both starting to feel a little numb after the initial shock.

The pair made their way down to the shipboard classroom being taught by Corrine Gable and knocked softly. "Hi there, you must be Lucas." She greeted them. "John called and filled me in. I'll keep you busy. Go on in and find a desk." Luc nodded and hugged Leah one more time.

"It's going to be okay, sweetie. I'll comm you as soon as I know anything." She let him go. "Thank you so much for this, Rin." She finally got a good look at the other woman. "Corri?" The other woman was a familiar face from what felt like a past life.

"Jesus, it's a small galaxy, Leah. We can catch up later, but it's nice to know at least one of my old roommates survived." Rin Gable pulled her in for a hug.

"Yes it is. I'm glad you're okay. I'm glad you ended up with someone as great as John too." Leah stated as they let go.

"He's a great dad too. I'll let you go, but Hackett is too stubborn to die out there, try not to worry too much." Corrine smiled sympathetically. "I'll take Luc home with me when class ends. He can hang out with Sam, my oldest, we'll keep him from worrying too much."

"Thanks so much, Corri. I don't know what I'd do with out you and John right now. We will catch up after we find Steven." She waited for the other woman's nod and then made her way to Medbay. She worked with the nurses to bandage minor injuries and watched the door every time a new patient was brought in. She did her best to ignore the passage of time, but after a while it was hard to ignore the glances cast her way. Every face was dejected, and looked at her with sympathy. Finally, Gable came and found her.

"You're doing a good job here they tell me." He beckoned her away from the bandage she'd just finished applying. "You should head home. We're stable here. There's nothing left for you to do."

"But Steven hasn't come in yet." She protested, but let him lead her away from the others into an empty office.

"No, teams are still looking for him, Leah, but…" He trailed off not wanting to say it and make it real.

"He's out of air." She said for him.

"Most likely long out of air. He only had a few hours to begin with." He sounded as defeated as she felt.

"I can't do this, John. I still need him." She felt herself starting to fall apart.

"We will find him, Leah, but it's been too long." He was apologetic now.

"I'm going to be sick." She was fighting the gorge now, and he grabbed a trash can from beside the desk to thrust at her. She finished and wiped her mouth on the cloth he handed her. "Sorry, I've been doing that for the last two hours. Since I realized he had to have run out of air. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Leah. It's late, Rin called and Luc is sleeping already. You can leave him with her for now." She nodded and buried her face in her hands. "I'll let you know as soon as we have his-as soon as we find him." Gable couldn't bring himself to refer to the admiral in past tense let alone as just a body. "Why don't you head to our quarters? Stay with Rin and me, she mentioned that you know each other."

"We were roommates briefly in college." She was quiet for a while. "No, I think I need to go home. Thanks for the offer, but I need to be in our space right now. I need him surrounding me. I'll wait to tell Lucas until you have Steven here, or pick Luc up in the morning." With that she headed out of the office with the can in her hands, she found a place to dispose of the contents and then cleaned out the makeshift pail. She left it there to dry and went back to the home she had shared, however briefly with Admiral Steven Hackett.