This chapter is dedicated to...vampchick09! Who turned 19 on the same day I turned 16 :) Happy birthday!
Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keep spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
-Keep forgetting to forget about you, Jojo.
-BPOV-
I got out of his damn car, eager to get away from his presence. I had to forget his words, and I had a promise to keep.
Don't fall for me...
Trust me, I won't. I won't be that stupid again. I'll never believe in a player like him. And even if it torn my heart away, I wouldn't let myself fall for him.
I was walking fast and I wasn't looking back. I couldn't meet his gaze again, it would make me weak. And I had to be strong if I wanted to stay away from him, if I wanted to control my feelings.
After he told me not to fall for him, none of us talked anymore. And we had nothing to talk about. He had been very clear about his feelings for me, so what could I say now? All the way up to Alice's house, where everybody was, I had expected him to say something! Anything! To tell me that it was only a joke, and the he had..feelings for me! That he wanted us to be friends... But I only heard the awkward silence... And it hurt! It hurt even more than his words.
Rain started to fall as I was heading to the front door, where Alice was waiting for me now. Tears filled me eyes when I heard the engine of his car and I knew that it was really over. These days, the time we spent talking in the cafeteria, the way he had almost showed me the real Edward, the guy who hated the player, the show he had to put on just for his reputation. It was all over. He was going back to the player he claimed to hate. To the player I hatedand who hated me.
"Oh my God, Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked when she saw the tears on my face.
As I was trying to answer her question, all the suppressed emotions overwhelmed me and I burst into tears. Alice put her arms around me, confused, but she didn't ask anything. And I was grateful for this.
Five minutes later, we were in her room and she was trying to comfort me and get me to calm down and stop crying.
"Will you tell me what happened?" She asked me carefully.
I took a deep breath, and nodded.
"Edward.." I said simply, and Alice's hands clenched into fists.
"What did hat mutt do to you?" She hissed.
As his words were spinning around in my head again, I realized that Alice didn't know the whole story. She would have killed us both if she knew that I had feelings for him and he rejected me that way.
But she was still my best friend and she had a right to know, only because she wanted so bad to help me. Like I had helped her in the darkest part of her life. I had listened to her, she trusted me, and it would help me a lot if I did the same thing now.
"When he invited me to a coffee," I started. "I thought it would be a good idea to play with his nerves. Because I knew there was something wrong with him and there was a game and..I don't know.."
I wiped away the tears rolling down my face again.
"We talked for a while, and he told me I was...sexy...And I was mad and I left...Then he texted me and he apologized."
I was literally sobbing.
"Then we talked for two hours...But when we were in his car he told me that I should hate him and not to fall for him."
I burst again into tears, as Alice was watching me intensely. As I was saying all these things out loud I realized how stupid I was. In just two hours, I threw away all the hatred I felt for him, all the things he had done to me, and all the times he and his stupid friends laughed at me. How could I forget that? How could I trust him? Once a player, always a player! I should have seen that it was only a fight for pride. He couldn't see the real me. He just wanted me to think that he could.
"Bells..." Alice started. "Do you remember when...that thing...happened to me?"
I nodded. Of course I did. I had never seen her like she was then.
"The three of us, you, me and Rose, thought that I would never be able to trust any guy again, remember?"
I nodded again.
"But I did, right? I found Jazz. And he's the love of my life. You have to be strong, and you have to believe that you're soul mate is somewhere out there. After every blow, you have to get up and move on! Just like I did."
"Or like I do when I trip." I chuckled.
Alice laughed.
"Yes, like you do when you trip."
I smiled sadly. But she was right after all. Why should I let some one like Edward Cullen ruin my life? Just like Alice said, my soul mate was somewhere out there. And my heart told me that it was close...very close. So close that I couldn't even see him...
-EPOV-
I have no idea why I had to tell her not to fall for me!
I had hurt her. I had hurt her so bad. Every tear she shad was tearing my heart away. But I had to do this. I had to, because if I didn't,she would have suffered even more. She had to get up and move on, she had to find some one who would be able to love her like she deserved to be loved. Because she was wonderful and she deserved the best. And I was clearly not the best.
Tears ran down my face. And I was so frustrated because I had no idea why! Why did it hurt me so bad to say goodbye to Bella? She was a geek! I didn't belong to her world, and she didn't belong to mine! And we had nothing to do about it. A clean break was the best thing I could have done.
I was walking up and down in my room, already missing Bella's chocolate eyes. They were like heaven to me. They were so deep and...
Stop it, Edward! You must forget about her!
But how? How could I forget about her? My feelings for her were so deep after so little time! I had never met a girl like her! Tanya was so small in comparison to Bella...All the girls I knew were small in comparison to her. She was like a... skyscraper compared to a house in Forks...
I had been so stupid! I wanted her not to have feelings for me, but what about my feelings for her? I couldn't stand the idea of another guy kissing her, touching her, looking into her eyes!...
My phone rang. I looked at the caller ID. Alice... Here we go!
"Hello?" I answered sheepishly.
"You are so in trouble." She whispered, and I supposed that Bella was around.
"How is she?" I asked.
"Why do you care?" She said sharply.
"Alice..."
"Listen to me, asshole!" She cut me off. "I don't want to ever see you around her. Consider your job finished! You didn't waste your time. You broke her heart even before having it."
And she hang up. Great! So now I lost Bella officially. There was no way she would forgive me. And dang it! I deserved it.
I know it's short, but I hope you like it! :-)
So, next chapter is dedicated to who will guess Alice's secret and what made her to never trust a guy again. Well, except for Jazzy.
Favorite line/scene?
Please review! :)
Deedee