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Chapter Ten: Watching and Waiting

Bors sat separate from the rest of the knights'. Dirt and blood still covering his body, his muscles twitching from the effort to hold on to his emotions. He was looking down at Dagonet's dead body. There was a large blanket folded in his hands, waiting to be used. Bors's eyes were distant and red, his cheeks still wet from the tears. His closest friend, his brother, was dead. Life would not be the same without him.

The other knights' sat around a fire, no words being spoken. Near the flames lay the woman who had tried to save their friend. Her shaking uncontrollable, her cries in her sleep loud and painful. Tristan sitting with her, trying to keep her warm, trying to keep himself together when all any of them wanted to do was fall apart. Tears could be seen in all of their eyes as the days events sunk in. Galahad shaking slightly himself, trying to face it like a man. Dag's death was a hard blow and Paige's illness and bravery a realization none wanted to face. Tristan had tried to make her leave but no one else. Non of them tried to help him convince her that she shouldn't have been there. She had tried so hard to save Dagonet. So hard and now her life was at risk because of it. How was any of them going to tell her that he was dead? Who would break her by telling her that he was gone?

"It's not right." Galahad said breaking the silence

"It never is." Gawain replied.

"How is she?" Guinn asked kneeling next to Tristan. He shook his head. "She'll pull out of it. She's strong. Stronger than me anyway."

"Stronger than all of us." Galahad told her. "Not many would do what she did."

"She's unique." Guinn smiled at her unconscious friend. "But she'll get better. She has plenty of things to live for." She said putting a hand on Tristan's arm.

A long pause settled amongst them. "How do you think she'll react?" Galahad asked breaking it.

"Not well." Gawain replied.

"She's going to be broken." Guinn added.

"But she'll accept it and move on." Arthur said joining the group. "She will be broken but she will pay her respects and move on. She is stronger than me. She ran after him without thinking of what would happen. I ran out once he was hit."

"She cares too deeply." Gawain said. "She taught us to care. More than before anyway." His voice trailing off.

"She doesn't deserve this." Bors said coming into view. "She doesn't deserve this!" He yelled, starting to pace. "All she wanted to do was help and now she may die because of it! She wanted to save him." He said a little calmer. "If he hadn't been so stubborn she would have pulled him back. She tried to save him but he thought he knew what he was doing. It worked but it cost him his life." He said looking at his friends. "And now look at her. I'll never forgive myself if she dies too." He said and retreated back to Dagonet's limp form.

Tristan's eyes stung with tears and he closed them quickly. He too would never forgive himself if she died. He would not be able to bear it. He would sooner kill himself if he could not have her with him in life. Now the tears were even stronger in his eyes. Not wanting such a weakness seen by the men or by Guinevere. He lowered his head and kissed Paige's forehead. Something he'd done before but now it seemed so much more important. He caressed her face and prayed that she would look at him. Her grey eyes enchanted him and if there was one thing he'd wish to see again it was those eyes looking up at him. The feeling of her lips against his, her smell…seeing her this way was torture. He stood and quickly went to his horse, mounting him and riding through the trees. He needed to clear his mind, get himself in check. He didn't want to leave her side but sitting there just watching and waiting for her to wake up…or to die…was too much to take.