Pure euphoria. There was no other way to describe his embrace. So long had I yearned for it, so long had his allured pulled me silently towards him, and now, in the subdued glow of the vanity light, I had no intentions of releasing him. His arms locked around me like a vice, strong and powerful, and my head nuzzled into the firm perfection of his sculpted chest, as his lips planted gentle kisses in my hair. I had no idea how long we stood there in that fashion, embracing each other in the near darkness, for time no longer seemed of consequence to me. I would have happily spent the rest of eternity in that moment, frozen in perfect serenity.
"This is better than I ever imagined," He whispered into the recesses of my hair.
"Yes – It is," I whispered into his chest, a question swimming to the forefront of my mind.
"Have – Have you imagined this before?" I asked timidly. He chuckled, the vibrations filling his chest, providing a backdrop to the tempo of his magnificent heartbeat.
"Oh – once or twice," he chuckled. I could envision the breathtaking grin which surely graced his features at that moment, and withdrew my head far enough away from him to confirm my suspicions. I felt pleased with myself for having been correct. He stared down at me in the muted light, his eyes twinkling gloriously. Visions of the numerous occasions on which I had so deeply desired to feel his embrace swam through my mind, and my curiosity began to bubble to the forefront of my consciousness. I realized that upon this occasion, I truly had his company entirely to myself, and therefore could inquire of him anything I wished, supposing I was audacious enough to do so. I glanced up at him, trying my best to hold back an my inquisitive grin.
"When was the first time?" I asked, a coy smile gracing my face.
"The first time that what?" He replied with a smirk.
"The first time you imagined – you and I, I suppose - doing this?" I responded, rolling my eyes at his artful stalling tactics. He paused for a few moments, his features becoming introspective as he contemplated his response. Finally, the edges of his perfect lips tugged upwards just slightly.
"Well," he began, a slight smile gracing his expression, "I suppose the first time the thought ever crossed my mind was probably on the first day of class, though I'll admit it was very fleeting, and I instantly retaliated against it for many reasons, a few of which I would now assume to be obvious." He elucidated. "But then, on the day we performed equipment proficiencies – the day with the scalpels..." he elaborated, glancing down at me as if to see whether or not I recalled. I doubted he comprehended the perfect clarity with which I recalled that day. The hitch of my breath, how my heart had beat wildly in my chest at the unbelievable power of his eyes, the warm humming current of his touch. It was impossible to forget.
"I remember," I whispered into the darkness.
"It was in that instant that I realized that my gravitation towards you was unique and inimitable. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. From the moment I first touched you, I was instantly aware that you were inescapable for me. As it turns out I was not entirely incorrect. That was the first time I imagined this moment, or a moment such as this one. Although, I must admit I had envisioned the journey to this moment to be slightly different and significantly easier, and I may have initially envisioned a moment rather different than this." He chuckled cheerfully at me, his teeth gleaming even in shadow. "Never had I desired a moment with such intensity as I had that day. At least not up to that point in time." He amended, nodding to himself.
"I still don't understand why," I whispered offhandedly into the air, my gaze out of focus.
"What exactly do you mean?" He shot an eyebrow upward in a flawless arch. I couldn't suppress the anxiety I felt at having to admit to him` what I could now see no way out of telling him.
"Well it's just that – well, look at me – I'm the poster girl for ordinariness, and then look at you," I said, nodding my head in the direction of his flawless figure, both impressively athletic, and impossibly handsome.
"Never before in my life have I had the honor of standing before someone more strikingly prepossessing than yourself," he responded, his voice smooth, his eyes overwhelmingly intense. It was impossible to stop the burning in my cheeks at his generous, yet preposterous words. He smiled gently at the changing coloration of my cheeks, obvious even in the subdued light, and leaned downward, his hand sweeping my hair back from the left side of my face. He pressed his soft lips lightly to the skin of my neck, just below my ear, and his fingers traced lightly over my shoulders. A wave of energy rippled through my system from where his lips touched my skin, stunning me, and causing my heart to beat with renewed vigor. I stared intently at him, my excitement clear in my expression and a satisfied grin crept its way across his perfect features. I took a deep breath attempting to clear my head, which was filled with the aroma of cedar and pine. I recalled something he had mentioned before, something that I had been curious about.
"When you said you imagined a moment such as this one, you said you had envisioned something different?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.
"I suppose so," he began, his expression turning pensive. "I had just Imagined that I would be able to court you in a far more chivalrous fashion. You deserve far better than the way I have gone about things. " he said with a slight sigh, his gaze meeting mine with blazing intensity. "I must admit however that there are many things about the reality of this moment that have far exceeded my wildest expectations," he said, a playfully provocative grin tugging upward at the edges of his flawless lips.
"Things like what?" I inquired with bashful perplexity, as his expression threatened to overwhelm me.
"Things like his," he replied softly, gently placing a finger beneath my chin, tilting my head upwards toward him before moving his lips to mine. My breath caught almost instantly in my chest, as a rush of delight flowed through my willing body. My lips pressed against his with increased fervor, and he responded to my desire, one of his hands running through my hair, the other ensnaring my waist in a powerful grip. With as little effort as though I were made of nothing but air, he lifted me onto the elevated mattress, and I pulled firmly at his sweater, inviting him forward towards me as my body made apparent months of desire for him. He did not hesitate to provide what I requested, hoisting himself onto the mattress with ease, his skin tight sweater showing off the powerful musculature of his arms. He repositioned himself so that his head rested upon the pillow at the top of my narrow mattress, his right side firmly against the wall, though he had rotated himself slightly towards me. I switched on the lamp at the head of the bed, watching his mesmerizing eyes glow amber beneath the warm light. He was irresistibly handsome, and after having spent so long restraining myself, I could hold back no more. I lunged forward, meeting his lips with a fiery passion that he hastily matched. I held his face between my hands as my lips meshed with his, before sliding my hands downward across his sweater, feeling the powerfully muscular planes of his chest beneath the soft fabric. Muscle that I could feel shift, and contract beneath my fingertips as he moved his hands up the length of my back. I couldn't help but errantly wonder what his incredible musculature must look like if the sweater were to be removed, before he gripped me around the waist firmly yet again, and shifted me so that I was lying next to him on the bed with the side of my body partially on top of his, concavely meshed into him. He gently, yet with sufficient force for me to understand what he desired, tilted my head away from him towards the lamp, and I felt his warm breath across my neck and the exposed skin of my shoulders. Ever so tenderly, he placed his lips against my neck, lightly kissing my skin. A wave of delight surged through my body, as I inhaled jaggedly. His lips moved down my neck, and across my collarbone as far as my clothing would allow, before reversing direction back towards my neck once more. The sensation was unimaginably intense as he executed the maneuver flawlessly. I turned to face him, to stare at his majestic beauty, at his glorious eyes. He smiled at me lustfully, an expression I couldn't help but return. I rotated my body towards him, contouring myself to his side, and placed my head against the firmness of his chest. His heart beat wildly, seeming to jump through the plush fabric of his sweater in his excitement. I couldn't help but grin knowing that I was at least partially responsible. His eyes lit with sudden alarm.
"Will Jessica be home soon?" he asked, propping himself up slightly beneath me so that he could stare wide eyed at the door. A could feel the mass of muscle tighten powerfully beneath my cheek, and found my mind once again envisioning Edward's majesty without the obstructing presence of his sweater. I pushed the thought aside for the time being, instead focusing on the exhilaration of his presence.
"No," I said softly, basking in the warmth I felt within. "She won't be home until tomorrow after class," I mumbled lazily. I felt my eyes becoming heavy. I had nearly forgotten the emotionally exhausting day that I had endured. It all seemed so very long ago while lying in the security of Edward's arms. My lids began to droop, though I fought against them with all of my willpower. I did not want to close my eyes, lest he disappear from beneath me.
"Bella, it's alright," I heard him whisper, as he brushed a strand of my hair away from my face tenderly. "You can sleep if you wish."
"I don't want to," I responded groggily, my body beginning to feel heavier, my mind more sluggish.
"Bella, you're clearly exhausted," he whispered, gently pressing his lips against my forehead.
"Will you still be here?" I managed to ask through my stupor.
"Of course. I'll sleep right here tonight," He whispered gently into my ear.
"Promise?" I asked him through the haze. I felt his arms tighten around me slightly, and I could see the faint outline of a smile on his lips through my barely cracked lids.
"I promise," he whispered, as I was lulled quickly into unconsciousness by the perfect rhythm of his beating heart.
The morning sunlight streamed into my eyes through the window slats. I had forgotten to close the shades the previous evening and I reached for them blindly in my morning stupor. I needed to shut them, as I refused to allow my dream to escape me, the most wonderful dream I had ever had. Edward had come to my door to declare himself to me, and I had spent a glorious amount of time intimately in his presence. It had seemed so incredibly real, and I did not want to lose such an incredible fantasy so soon. I huffed frustrated in my groggy state. I could not reach the blinds, and so reluctantly I sat myself more upright to further extend my range. Something slopped of my back, hitting the pillow behind me with a plop. I spun my head quickly, searching for the origin of the mysterious noise. I had to stifle a yelp of surprise. There on my pillow, in my bed, behind my body, lay the glorious perfection of Edward. I had to still be dreaming. No other explanation seemed logical. Even in the morning, unbathed, unprepared, graced in five o clock shadow and taken by sleep, he still looked unbelievably beautiful. His head was turned towards the wall, drooping slightly in his dreaming state, his bangs low and disheveled across his forehead. I had never woken to a more beautiful sight. I could only imagine what I looked like in the same state, and with that thought, I resolved to sneak out of bed. I could tell by the taste in my mouth that my breath would be less than pleasant, and I knew from previous sightings of myself after freshly awakening that I likely looked like I had survived a tornado.
I slowly crept my way to the edge of the mattress, careful not to make any sudden or jarring movements that might wake Edward, and alert him to my plans. I carefully climbed down the stool to the floor hoping the wood did not creak as loudly as normal. It let out a slight popping noise, and my eyes darted to Edwards face. He continued to sleep motionlessly, not stirring in the slightest at the noise. Feeling proud of my success, I tiptoed my way across the small room into the vanity area. I quickly squeezed out some toothpaste onto my brush, and began quietly brushing my teeth, feeling the minty freshness spread through my mouth with relief. I spit out my toothpaste as quietly as I could and popped in my mouthwash, refusing to gargle for fear of waking him. I rinsed the sink out with ever so slight a trickle of water, grabbed a towel from the linen rack, and crept through the door to the bathroom. I turned on the hot water and felt the refreshing torrent of liquid pour over my body, streaming through my hair, making it thick with weight. The warm steamy air felt spectacular, cleansing my lungs and body of sleepiness. I stepped out of the shower, my thoughts preoccupied with the incredible individual who was currently sleeping in my bed. I wistfully hoped that some of his scent lingered in the pillows and sheets when he departed.
I wrapped myself in the towel after drying, and as noiselessly as possible opened the bathroom door, dashing forward into the uncomfortably cold air.
"Well don't you look alluring," his velvet voice commented from across the room. I instinctively threw my hands across my chest, although the towel was tightly fastened to it, and ducked behind the incredibly small partition between the vanity area and the main room. I stared at him bewildered. His face was adorned with the most enticing smile I had ever seen. It was nearly impossible to stay away from him as he unleashed such a playfully seductive expression, but in my current state of nakedness I thought it wise.
"Could you give me a moment?" I asked apprehensively, my eyes wide with embarrassment, despite my amused smile.
"Certainly," he responded, nodding respectfully. He reached behind his head, his bicep contracting powerfully, to retrieve the grey pillow that he had slept on, pulling it from under him and promptly laying backwards, allowing the pillow to fall on top of him, covering his face entirely from view. I couldn't help but chuckle at his antics. His returning chuckle was muffled by the pillow causing me to laugh audibly. I smiled at him, though I knew he couldn't see it.
"Oh and no peeking," I added.
"I would do nothing of the sort, milady," he responded in a smothered mumble. I could vividly imagine the taunt of his expression beneath the pillow. I knew I could trust his word, even if he was being playful. Edward was nothing if not a man of honor.
I crossed the room quickly to the closet, immediately abandoning my wet towel and adorned myself with a bra on the off chance he did playfully decide to peek. I selected my cloths carefully, trying to figure out an outfit that would compliment my complexion without giving him any wild ideas. It turned out to be a much more difficult balance to strike than I had anticipated, but after a few moments of thought, I achieved what I believed to be probable success.
"Alright, you can look now," I told him. He tossed the pillow aside emphatically, his eyes racking over my figure. He sat upright, swinging himself off of the mattress with impressive agility, and landed lightly on his feet, approaching me slowly, a smirk on his face.
"You look nothing short of ravaging," He told me softly, his eyes lustful. His hand snaked its way around my waist, pulling my body against his. He dipped his head down to plant his lips against mine, moving them slowly in unison with me. Through the slow and deliberate opening of his lips I could taste the mintyness of his breath as it filled my mouth. I couldn't help but ponder how he managed to wake up in such perfect condition. Upon being released from the embrace of his lips, I stared upward at him with a puzzled expression, and attempted subtly to smell my own breath. He caught me and began to chuckle down at me. He smirked, rolling his eyes upward and to the left with an innocent child-like expression. I glared at him suspiciously.
"I may have cheated," he admitted. "I stole some of your mouthwash."
"I doubt I would have cared," I replied, tugging at his sweater until he willingly leaned down for another tantalizing kiss. He stared about my room while I made my way over to the stool, boosting myself upward to sit on the mattress. He seemed to absorb his surroundings intently as he followed my lead, bounding upwards on to the bed, rolling over and pulling me with irresistible force, though as delicately as though I were made of glass, into his chest as he laid flat against the sheets.
"Studying up on me are you?" I asked, aware of his eyes roaming around his surroundings curiously.
"Of course," he replied with a smile.
"And… what have you learned so far?" I asked, perking my eyebrow at him playfully.
"Well," he began, "You seem to have far better taste than Jessica, you enjoy living in a state of organized disorganization, and you seem to be very fond of Stephanie Taylor," he said, gesturing to the three posters of the musician lining my half of the room, and the six albums laying in my cd rack. I sighed, preparing my explanation with a mild degree of embarrassment.
"Ever since I was young, her music has always spoken to me on a certain level," I said, staring at the photo of the curly blonde, holding her guitar before her. "It's almost like her and I have had a lot of the same struggles, and sometimes it just felt really nice to feel like someone else had been in that place before and made it through alright. I admire her a lot actually. I suppose I look up to her. I just find she resonates with me, and so yes, I am very fond of her." I said, a smile crossing my face. He seemed pleased by my answer, and grinned at me.
"That's very admirable," he said softly, pulling me into his chest. There, against the sound of his beating heart, I began to fully appreciate what I had before me in that moment, the long road that we were about to embark upon, and the realization of the challenge that such a path might present suddenly filled my entire being. It seemed that keeping a relationship such as ours from the world would be a nearly impossible task, and yet, I was fully aware that we had to do just that. Nobody could know. Nobody could ever know. It seemed unlikely to me that if anybody discovered our relationship it would survive intact. I looked at him somberly.
"What are we going to do?" I asked him gravely. His eyes became solemn as he paused, considering his response.
"I'm – not sure," he said flatly. "I feel it would be in our best interest not to tell anyone for obvious reasons." He said.
"I tend to agree with you," I admitted, hoping he didn't think me ashamed of him, as if that were even within the realm of possibility.
"But I would still like to see you as often as I can," he insisted softly, "even if it has to be in secret."
"Well that's a good thing. I don't think I could keep myself away from you for long." I replied with a slight smile.
"It does seem unimaginable," he replied with a chuckle that quickly turned grim. He glanced at his watch and I reluctantly released him from my embrace.
"I'm so sorry Bella. I don't want to go, really." He said, his eyes ablaze with sincerity. I sighed as he leapt down from my bed and strode over to my desk, grasping a notepad and a pen.
"This is my cell number. Feel free to call me any time of the day or night. Just say the word, and I'll come to you," he promised, placing the pen gently back down upon my desk. I smiled at him, my face turning scaret at his tender sentiment.
"Thank you Edward," I said, jumping down from my bed as well, and crossing the room to my desk. I grasped the pen quickly and wrote the digits of my phone number out across the paper beneath the one he had used, tore it sharply from the pad and followed behind him to the doorway. He paused briefly, turning away from the door to face me.
"There's something I ought to mention to you," he said, his face distorted in culpability. "Alice – Alice knows that I'm here, or at least that I came here last night and the reason why. It's actually entirely possible that she was the reason I was courageous enough to run across campus to find you last night to begin with." I stared at him in utter surprise, although he misread my reasoning. "She won't tell anyone, you can be sure of that," he reassured me. I couldn't help but vocalize my puzzled thoughts.
"I don't understand. Why would Alice convince you to come here if she knew it was against the rules?" I asked perplexed. Edward grinned at me widely.
"From the first time I mentioned you I believe she had a gut feeling that things would turn out this way. She's going to be unbearably smug about it too, believe me. But I suppose that is irrelevant. The point is Bella, she's been your biggest cheerleader from the beginning, so I also wrote down her cell number on the notepad too. You can call her as well, day or night. She's really looking forward to getting to know you." He said smiling warmly, although after a moment, a slight measure of apprehension graced his expression. He seemed wary of what his sister might do, or likely even worse, the things she would be able to tell me. I couldn't believe how warm Alice's unexpected support made me feel, but the warmth was fleeting as I sighed, knowing that it was time for him to depart, and wishing wholeheartedly that he wouldn't.
"You have to go," I said glumly. He stared down at me, his expression unfathomable, before leaning down to me with haste, placing my face between his powerful hands and kissing me passionately enough that I began to feel unsteady on my own feet. His eyes lingered in mine for a few moments longer, before he exhaled deeply.
"I'll see you later Bella," he promised, reaching for the door handle.
"Wait," I interjected, pushing in front of him towards the door, "Let me look, in case there is anyone who might see you leave." I said. His expression betrayed that he was clearly impressed with the idea.
"Smart," he agreed. I opened the door slowly, gazing down the hallway in both directions. There was nobody in sight, and so I waved him forward. He slid behind me and out the door, pecking a light kiss at my cheek as he passed.
"Oh, Edward," I called after him, throwing the door open wide enough to give myself time to run to the box in my closet and retrieve his leather jacket from its hiding place.
"Here, take this," I exclaimed, tossing it to him. He looked at me softly.
"You can keep it if you wish," he insisted his eyes burning gloriously as he threw it back to me. I smiled at him, and he quickly returned it, albeit far more brilliantly, and turned, vanishing down the staircase. I felt emptier inside in his absence, but overall it was not enough to dull the glow that shown over me after the most incredible night that I had ever experienced.
Closing the door I sauntered absentmindedly across the room to where the notepad lay on my desk to again see his and Alice's cell phone numbers written across the page in beautiful calligraphy. An idea suddenly flashed in my mind, and I quickly dialed the phone number before ripping the page from the notepad and sliding it into a drawer where it wouldn't accidentally be seen by Jessica.
The text I sent was rather simple.
Hey Alice, it's Bella Swan. I was wondering if maybe you had any time on your hands that I could come and see you for a moment?
I pressed the send button, hoping that Edward had been truthful about her desire for me to have the number. I could only imagine the amount of attention Alice must be bombarded with on a daily basis, and I didn't wish to intrude upon her. Her response came almost instantly however, not allowing me additional time to fret over the matter.
Bella it's lovely to hear from you! Can you come to Kappa house tomorrow at 11am? I'd love to catch up!
Clearly Edward had been right. She had certainly wanted me to have it, and so I prepared to go better acquaint myself with Alice, not because she was the queen of Lakefront University, not because she was Edward's sister, and not even because she knew about my secret relationship with Edward, but because she had apparently been pivotal in creating one of the most enchanting evenings of my life, and for that I would be eternally thankful. I stood by my desk grinning from ear to ear, ready to bond with the girl who was apparently my biggest cheerleader.