Chapter 10

When the sun presented itself on Friday morning, I was almost too tired to get up. I forced myself to crawl out of bed and stumble over Ray's figure in the living room to the kitchen, and then to go to work.

I went about my day more slowly than usual, trying to get myself to pay attention despite my sleepiness. I went to the bathroom in the lounge to wash my face with cold water, and looked at my tired expression with dismay.

My phone buzzed as I was staring at my reflection, at the dark circles forming under my eyes. I pulled it out and brightened when I discovered it was Piero.

If you have nowhere to go tonight, you can come pass the time until you can return home at my house.

Oh, that's right. It was Friday, the day I usually couldn't go home until late at night. Things had been much easier when it was only Friday and Saturday that I couldn't go home. Now it had become every day. Would I have to stay out until two every night!? Impossible! If I'm this exhausted after only a week like this, how would I feel after several more?

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts away. I'll figure it out. It'll be okay. Maybe Ray would get another job quickly. I leaned against the sink in the bathroom, staring once more at my tired eyes in the mirror.

Then I remembered the text, and sleepily held up the phone.

Yes, please. I needed somewhere to go tonight.

Tonight and every other night as well. At least today I had a place to go after work. I would be back with Piero! My heart fluttered in my chest. Tonight I'd be able to see his sweet face, look into his shining brown eyes. He'd hold me in those strong arms and protect me…

I blushed and quickly shook my head at myself. I needed to go to Piero's to apologize. I needed him to disregard what he knew already and accept that I wouldn't tell him anything more. He needed to understand it wasn't his responsibility to worry about me. My heart thudded in my chest, imagining Piero's concerned face after I delivered my apology. I wanted him to know everything, but I shouldn't tell him anything. It would be selfish of me to worry him.

As I worked throughout the children's hospital, I formulated my speech. I carefully worded everything and whispered it to myself, imagining telling Piero. As soon as I saw him, I'd tell him, despite the tightness in my chest and the longing to confide in him.

After work I went straight to Piero's house, and when I went up the steps he opened the door wide and reached out his arms for me. The words I had formulated so precisely slipped away from me, and I went to him and threw my arms around his neck. The apology can wait a minute…

"Hey Julia," he said, grinning, and gave me a quick kiss before leading me inside and shutting the door behind me. I went to the sofa and sat down, waiting eagerly for Piero to sit beside me. When he did, he smiled wide at me, his eyes sparkling.

"How was your week?" he asked.

I shrugged, pushing the surfacing images of Ray and the memories of being struck to the back of my mind.

"Fine, I guess."

"How were the kids at the hospital?"

I smiled.

"Wonderful! They get better every day, and they're such amazing children! We even sent some of them home this week."

"That's great! And…how are…other things? With Ray?"

My smile vanished as I was reminded of my apology.

"Piero, I need to talk to you."

"I'm all ears," he said, reaching up and tugging playfully on his ears. I smiled, but then corrected myself and sat up straight, adopting a contrite expression and taking in a deep breath before I began. He saw my shift in mood, and his smile faded as he waited for me to speak.

"I owe you an apology."

"Why? What for?"

"Because I've been selfish. I shouldn't have told you anything about my home life."

"What!? Julia, you-"

"Piero."

I reached out and touched his knee, and he quieted. His sweet concerned expression made me feel weak inside, and I let go of him and looked down at my hands in my lap.

"Piero, listen. I should've kept all the information to myself, because it's not your responsibility to worry about what happens to me. I'll deal with my own problems, and you don't have to fret over them. You have other things to worry about besides me. I don't want anyone else to have to deal with the mess of my home life. I shouldn't have told you anything in the first place, and you won't hear anything more. Don't ask me, and don't worry about me. I'll be okay, and I'm sorry. Leave it alone."

I nodded, satisfied with my explanation, and exhaled in relief at finishing my delivery. I turned expectantly to study his face. He was silently watching me. His face was expressionless, and it unnerved me.

"Say something," I pleaded softly after a moment.

His eyes saddened, then he shook his head and took my hand tenderly in his.

"No," he said. "Julia, I will not leave it alone."

I took my hand away.

"Piero…"

"You are pushing me away, and I don't understand why. I only want to help you. You can tell me anything. Julia, I-"

"No," I said quickly, standing up and startling him. I wrapped my arms tightly around my middle and wandered away from the couch. "You can't convince me, Piero! I won't concern you with things that are not your responsibility to worry about."

"It's not about responsibility…" Piero said softly, getting up from the couch and coming close to me. From behind, he moved his arms around my middle, over my arms. My back was against his chest, and I felt the comfort of his warmth. My arms around my middle relaxed slightly, and I closed my eyes and felt him touching me.

"Julia, you don't have to hide things from me because you don't want me to worry."

I quickly pulled out of his arms and faced him.

"No, Piero. Stop."

"Julia-"

"Stop. I don't want to talk about it anymore. You have to try to understand me, Piero! I'm not telling you anything else!"

"Julia, think about it. I only want-"

"Stop! I…should go."

I wasn't sure how much longer I'd have the strength to resist opening up to him. I turned and looked at the front door, and then started to walk toward it before I could stop myself.

"Julia, wait!" he pleaded. I paused, reaching toward the door handle. "Please don't go! You need somewhere to stay this evening, and you're safe here. I won't ask any more questions. Please stay."

I turned and looked over at him watching me. He smiled pleadingly at me. He moved back to the couch and sat, watching me. I stayed cautiously by the door, poised to escape if he tried to convince me again.

"Stay. I won't ask you anything."

I dropped my hand from the doorknob and watched him quietly.

"Julia, how are you feeling right now? Honestly?"

I hesitated, and then felt the wave of exhaustion wash over me.

"I'm so tired... It's been a pretty hectic week."

He smiled and patted the couch next to him.

"Won't you come here?"

I went to the couch and sat beside him. He put an arm tenderly around my shoulder, and I winced when he touched my bruises, hidden under my sleeve. Thankfully, he didn't notice. He moved his hand up to my face, and gently invited my head to lean against his shoulder, then slipped his arm down around my waist. It was cool inside the house, but Piero was warm, and the fabric of his T-shirt was soft and soothing against my cheek. Piero turned his head to me and gently kissed my cheek before turning on the TV. He adjusted his hand on my waist, and rubbed the fabric of my scrubs with his thumb. I closed my eyes, comforted by his scent and warmth, and by the low clamor of the television.

"Is the door locked?" I whispered, opening my eyes and looking up at him.

"Yes, mi amor." He kissed the tip of my nose and I smiled, allowing my eyes to close again.

When I was dozing comfortably in Piero's grip, my phone rang. I stirred, and reached drowsily for it. I looked at the screen, and discovered that it was one of the other nursing interns. I rubbed my eyes and answered.

"Hello?" I asked sleepily.

"Julia? Hey, so I know you're off and all, but you told me to call you if anything happened with Gracie, since she had the surgery and all, so…"

I sat straight up, startling Piero.

"Yes! Why, what's happened!?"

"Well, we're trying to get her to sleep, but she says she's hurting. We already gave her medicine, and she's throwing a horrible tantrum and calling for you. Do you think that…maybe you could…?"

I sighed and relaxed. I stifled a yawn and nodded, though she obviously couldn't see it.

"I'll be right there."

I hung up, and Piero reached out and cuddled me to him.

"Where are you going?"

"The hospital. Gracie, the girl who likes to be rocked, refuses to sleep and is calling for me."

"So you're going to her!? But it's already dark outside, and you're so tired…"

"But she needs me, so I'll go. It shouldn't take too long. I can sleep after. You can come, if you want."

"Yeah, sure. I should probably drive, to make sure you don't fall asleep at the wheel."

I smiled.

"Good idea. Come on, let's go."

Piero got his keys from the counter and we went out to his car. Even though it was only a two mile drive, I leaned my head against the back of the seat and closed my eyes.

"Julia," he said, smiling.

"Hmm?"

"We're there, and you're already falling asleep."

"Oh."

"You didn't have to come, Julia. You've finished work for the day. Gracie will be alright."

I shook my head.

"Gracie needs me. I'll sleep after."

I climbed out of the car and went inside the hospital, Piero following me. Gracie was lying on the bed, sobbing and calling my name as she tugged at the IV in her arm. She was surrounded by anxious nurses who looked relieved to see me.

"Gracie."

The little girl looked up in surprise and reached out to me, smiling through her tears.

"Julia!"

I pulled the rocking chair to the window and swung Gracie into my lap. She immediately wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and pressed her face into my shoulder.

The nurses dispersed, and Piero shut the door quietly behind them, then sat on the edge of Gracie's bed.

"Now, Gracie," I said, "I'm here, but you can't do this every night, okay?"

"Okay. Just tonight."

I nodded in approval and kissed her forehead.

"Julia?" Gracie asked, looking up at me. "You look tired. You never look this tired. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Gracie."

She reached up and touched my cheek with her tiny white hand.

"You looked sad today when you came to check my medicine. Why are you sad? What happened to you, Julia?"

"I don't want you to worry about me, okay? I'm fine. It's not your responsibility to worry about me. Don't ask me anything more, baby girl. I'm okay, see?"

I smiled encouragingly at her.

She watched me for a moment, then nodded in satisfaction.

"Okay, Julia."

She laid her head on my shoulder again, and I wrapped my arms around her back. I looked over at Piero, who was watching me with a strange expression. His brow was furrowed, and he seemed to be deep in thought. I smiled at him, but he looked out the window instead and began to chew his lip.

His pensive mood remained the entire time I was rocking Gracie, who slowly sunk into sleep. A faraway smile appeared on her face, and she sighed softly. I smiled down at her, and turned my gaze up to the night sky, looking up at the beautiful moon above.

I didn't realize I was falling asleep myself until Piero woke me with a kiss on the cheek.

"Come on," he whispered. "She's asleep, and you're exhausted. Let's go to the house."

I looked up at his face shining in the moonlight, the light reflecting off his glasses. I smiled at him, and in response he bent down to kiss my cheek again and help me up from the rocker. I laid Gracie carefully in the bed and pulled the covers up to her chest, leaning down to kiss her temple. I smoothed her hair back and paused, watching her sweet little face. She looked so peaceful, and I gently cupped her face in my palm.

I felt a hand on my arm, and I looked up at Piero, who motioned for us to go. I stepped back from the bed, and Piero leaned over it and kissed Gracie's cheek.

I smiled at his sweetness and when he came beside me I slid my arm around his waist. He put his arm around my waist in return and we walked out the hospital together.

Back at the house, Piero heated up some pasta for the two of us, and we sat across from each other at the table. Piero ate slowly, gazing out the window with a look of reflection on his face.

He looked a little somber, but he didn't seem to be moping about my refusal to clue him into my home life. He must have something serious on his mind. When I finished eating, I pushed my plate away and leaned on my arm, watching him.

"Piero?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you okay?"

He looked in surprise at me.

"Why do you ask?"

"You're thinking about something, and you seem a little sad."

He reached across the table toward me, palm up, and I slid my hand into his and watched his fingers curl around it.

"I'm just…trying to understand some things."

"Will you tell me what things?"

"You. I'm thinking about you. I'm trying to understand you, and why you refuse to tell me what's on your mind."

I didn't speak, watching him. He was being completely honest, and I couldn't object to him expressing this because I had asked.

"I told you. It's not your responsibility to worry about me."

He opened his mouth to respond, and then thought better of it and closed it. He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb, glaring thoughtfully at the table.

"I'm really not so complex, Piero."

He laughed suddenly, making me smile in surprise.

He released my hand and stood up, taking our plates to the sink. He rinsed them off, and I yawned and laid my head on the table, finally giving in to my weariness. Piero started to sing as he washed the dishes, some pretty chant in Italian. As I listened, I began to drift slowly into sleep, until he stopped to laugh softly.

"Oh, mi amor, you're sleeping at the table?"

"Yes," I said from within my arms, and he laughed again.

"Well," he said, and I looked up to see him smiling at me, his eyes shining, "I'm sure the sofa would love to embrace you."

"That's pretty, Piero. Like poetry."

He took a theatrical bow, and I giggled and slid out of my chair to go to the couch. I stretched out and closed my eyes as Piero resumed his Italian song. It was chilly in Piero's house, but the couch was soft and comfortable. I listened to Piero singing and the clinking as he put away the dishes, and then a few moments later felt something soft and warm fall over me.

I opened my eyes to see that Piero was putting a blanket over me. He crouched down beside the sofa, his face next to mine.

"Before you sleep, I must ask you something, and you have to be honest."

He had promised not to ask anything! I propped myself up on my arm and looked at him in confusion.

He watched me intently.

"Do you feel safe here?"

I was surprised. I considered this, and suddenly longed to touch him, so I sat up and reached out to hug him. He was warm and he smelled good, and his T-shirt was soft and comfortable against my cheek. I looked up into the sweet brown eyes and said, "I do. Honestly."

He sighed, and a relieved smile spread across his face.

"Good," he said softly, pulling back from me. "You're safe here. I just wanted to make sure you knew that."

He leaned into me again and pressed his lips to mine, simultaneously slipping an arm around my back. He pulled back after a moment, but then leaned in again to kiss both my cheeks and my temple before going to sit at the end of the couch. I drew my feet up so he could have room to sit and laid my head down, blissfully closing my eyes. After a week of trying to sneak a few hours of rest, I could now sleep in peace and safety. I sighed softly in relief at having a place to stay for the evening, and Piero's hand slipped under the blanket and took my feet into it. He pulled them into his lap like he had done before, and gently kneaded out the ache of running about the hospital. His hands felt strong and sure of their task, but were also very gentle and cautious. I sighed softly again and drifted into sleep as he began to sing that song about the moon, the same one from the beach, and I could hear the gentle smile in his voice.

I stirred and opened my eyes, looking about me in disoriented surprise. I remembered that I was in Piero's house, and closed my eyes again. After a moment I folded the blanket back and pushed myself up on my elbow, seeing Piero asleep at the end of the couch. His head was leaning against the back of the couch, turned slightly toward me, and his mouth was open somewhat, letting me hear his quiet breaths. The red framed glasses were still on his face, showing that he hadn't meant to fall asleep here. My feet were still in his lap, his hands resting on top of my ankles. The lights were still on in the kitchen, and the television was off. I wondered if he had watched me fall asleep instead of watching it.

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost two. I stretched and yawned. Now would be a safe time to return home, so I shouldn't stay here at Piero's. I cautiously took my feet from his hands, and he didn't stir. I touched my feet to the cold floor and stood up slowly from the couch. I picked up the blanket, carefully folding it up and placing it back on the couch cushion. I crept to the kitchen and turned off the lights, leaving on the dim oven light for Piero if he awoke later in the night. I tiptoed past the couch and went to the front door, then paused and looked back at Piero, who now had the moonlight reflecting off his peaceful face and off of the red rims of the glasses. I tiptoed back to the couch and reached out for his face, carefully removing the glasses. I folded them up and placed them on the coffee table. Then I turned back to Piero and watched him for a moment, suddenly feeling warm inside and lighthearted. I wanted to touch him, and I leaned forward and lightly touched my lips to his temple, lingering there for a moment as my heart fluttered in my chest. I pulled back and stepped away from him as he breathed in deeply and moved his head slightly. He was still asleep, and I smiled and backed away from the couch. I quietly opened the front door and left, taking one last glance at him before shutting it.