The lunch table over the course of the week had decreased in members. Marley, Ryder, and Jake had each migrated to separate tables with some of their other acquaintances. I had tried to explain to Jake that it was just in the moment but he didn't seem to believe me. I attempted to tell Marley that I wasn't thinking clearly and it wouldn't happen again but that only earned me a glare. Ryder on the other hand didn't even seem to want to give me the time of day.
"So..." Unique started in an attempt to make small talk and destroy the awkward silence that sat between us. "How's everyone been doing?"
"You can cut the bullshit. I know that all of you are mad at me." I bluntly stated while picking apart the sandwich my mom had made for me this morning.
"You know what I don't understand?" Sam started but then stopped himself.
"No go on. You can call me whatever you want to. I can take it."
"What the hell is your problem? You just made three people's lives miserable and still all you can think about is yourself!" He bellowed, his face turning a little red.
"Well, it is mylife." I watched as everyone's faces changed from somewhat sympathetic to completely annoyed. I realized how selfish I sounded but currently didn't care. In fact, I stopped think about anything. I knew it wasn't what friends did and I couldn't tell you I was proud of it, but something inside of me kept telling me to push away everyone else's opinion and worry about me.
"Yeah? Well if it's just your life then you can get the hell out of mine!" Joe said as he stood up to find himself another table. Sam and Brittany were close behind him.
"Sorry Kitty, but you went too far this time." Unique said and reluctantly stood up and looked around to see where everyone else had traveled to. Just like that I managed to lose every single one of my friends and to be honest I didn't care because I knew that if I was them, I would've done the same exact thing.
The rest of the day wasn't much better. Normally in math Ryder and I would attempt to help each other with what we didn't understand, but when I tried to ask him for help he just switched desks. At that moment I noticed how much of a mistake it was to sabotage my friend's relationship but didn't know what I could do. After all what's done is done, right?
Marley ignored each and every phone call I made and I didn't expect anything less. Unique, the mediator, wouldn't even look at me.
"Sam, can I ask you something?" I whispered during one of the debates in English class.
"What do you want?" He whispered back aggressively which earned him a glare from the teacher.
"I just want to know how everyone is doing? I do feel really bad." He looked at me and instantly his face warmed which made me let out a breath I never knew I was holding.
"Jake's fine. He still doesn't stop talking about you. Marley is pissed but she's more sad than anything. Unique goes over to her house every night to talk about it. Ryder is really pissed but it's more at himself than at you. He's mad because he thinks that he led you on. Plus Marls is ignoring him too."
"Oh. Well could you tell them that I'm sorry... again." He chuckled and nodded. I never thought I'd say this but Sam is actually a pretty good friend.
"Am I interrupting something?" Mrs. Holder asked aggravated.
"No. Sorry." I said as nicely as I could but unfortunately we were both handed detention slips.
Detention seemed to draw on and on. Not only were Sam and I there but so was Jake and Marley. Apparently they were late to cooking class. Mr. Schuester had assigned me and Marley to paint a sign that was supposed to be the entrance to a store.
"Listen Marls.."
"Don't you dare call me that." She cut me off, turning to glare at me.
"Fine... Marley I just wanted to say that I was sorry."
"For what? Kissing my boyfriend? Or for breaking the heart of your best friend?" She was trying to make her voice sound strong and hard but failed miserably as her voice squeaked.
"For both. I really have no excuse for what I did and I don't expect you to forgive me."
"Then why are you talking to me?" She inquired while dipping her paintbrush back into the red paint.
"I want you to believe me when I say that it wasn't Ryder's fault." I continued.
She put her paintbrush down quickly and looked at me with a strange look on her face. "Did he put you up to this?"
"No. He's not talking to me either. I just- I want you to know that it was all me. I want to fix this."
"Well thanks but I can handle my own love life." I sighed as the door to the auditorium swung open revealing a very angry Coach Bieste dragging Ryder by the shirt.
"Schuester!" Mr. Schu turned to where his coworker was currently walking down the aisle. "Would you please this boy and explain to him the importance of not sneaking into my office to try and write himself a late pass?"
"Ah, Mr. Lynn. You should know better than that. Please come and join us."
Ryder looked around the room and his eyes instantly fell upon Marley's. I looked at Marley who was biting her lip, probably debating whether or not to smile. Coach Bieste let go of his son's collar and went back out the doors that he came through. "Ryder, you can help Marley and Kitty since they haven't gotten very far." Marley gulped and I just smiled. Not because of my own personal gain, though, which I feel is an improvement.
"Uh.. Hi." He said as he made his way to where we were standing after picking up his own paintbrush.
"So, a late pass? Really?" I asked when Marley remained silent. Ryder looked at me angrily and then turned his attention back to the painting job. "Listen guys, all you're doing is hurting yourselves. Ryder didn't do anything, so stop ignoring him like he did. And Ryder, would you stop being a jerk! Yeah, ok. I was a jerk first but I don't really give a shit. I'm trying to be nice."
"Well last time you were trying to be nice you tried to kiss me!" He growled and looked at me.
"Well I'm not going to do that again!"
"Guys, when you entered detention you lost all rights to talk." Mr. Schuester said as he came up from behind Ryder. I turned to Sam, who was smirking at me as he watched the whole thing go down. I glared at him and he put a hand to his heart in an attempt to act hurt.
"As I was saying, you guys should just get back together." I said when Mr. Schu went to go and yell at some freshmen who were having a paint fight.
"Seriously Kitty, stop talking." Marley said not looking away from the spot that she was painting.
"She's right Marls. Please?" Ryder pleaded.
"You would agree with her." She spat back in his direction.
"She kissed me." Ryder argued through his clenched teeth.
"Actually, we didn't actually kiss. Jake walked in." I pointed out.
"I would've pushed you away either way." Ryder responded un-phased by my comment. "Please Marley. I didn't do anything wrong."
"You promise?" She asked as if his answer could kill her if it was the wrong one.
"I pinky promise." He responded while holding up his pinky. She laced her pinky with his and they swore on it. I giggled and continued painting.
I really don't understand why I was so jealous to begin with. It was stupid and I realize that now. I can honestly say that I will refrain from the wasted emotion for the rest of my life. If I see something I want that someone else has it won't take long before I can find something better. It pained me to say that I already had something better than the infamous Ryder Lynn. I looked over and Jake and he smiled. I waved and smiled back mouthing 'sorry'. He nodded then continued to staple leaves to the top of a tree. Nope, never again would I be jealous. I have everything that I want right in front of me.
"This doesn't change anything, Wilde." Ryder said after they hugged, pulling my attention away from Jake.
"Oh, I know. I don't want it to." I smiled and continued painting, knowing that when I walked out of this room, I wouldn't be alone. I'd have Jake right there with me.
I want a guy who calls me beautiful instead of hot, who calls back when I hang up on them, who stays awake just to watch me sleep, who kisses my forehead, who shows me off to the world and holds y hand in front of his friends, who thinks I'm pretty without any makeup on, and is constantly reminding me how lucky his is to have me.Most of all, I want a guy who treats me with the respect I deserve.
Luckily for me I found one with the whole package. His name is Jake Puckerman and I love him with all my heart.
This was totally supposed to be posted last night but I completely forgot. So here it is now. Last chapter. Thank to everyone who read and reviewed. You guys are amazing.