*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much!*
JOE's POINT OF VIEW: (3 WEEKS LATER)
I pace outside my bathroom in my bedroom as I wait for Teagan to come out, I have never been so nervous in my entire life. In fact nervous isn't even the word I am looking for more like scared. It's been a while since Tea and I had sex with each other but the last couple weeks she hasn't been feeling her best. She's been feeling pretty nauseous lately and sick more than she should. Tea believed it was a bug until the other day when she told me that her period never came and she's at least a week late. I believe that she just has a bug and is under so much stress from her classes at school that she's running late but she got a pregnancy test just to make sure she isn't pregnant. We're both 15 years old and in 10th grade there is no way we are ready to have a baby or be parents. I bite my nails from nervousness as I hear the toilet flush. I hold my breath as the bathroom door opens. She looks at me holding the pregnancy test in her hand. "So what does it say?" I ask.
"There's a smiley face," she says as her voice cracks.
"A smiley face? Isn't that a good thing?"
Her blue eyes filling up with tears as she shakes her head, "it means I'm pregnant Joe."
"Oh Shit," I say, "you're pregnant."
"It says that I am," she says before we walk over to my bed. I'm in shock. I wrap my arm around her as we approach my bed. "Joe," she says taking a seat. "I'm pregnant."
"You can't be pregnant. You can't be pregnant."
"I hope I'm not but this is really accurate and it's positive. Is there a such thing as a false positive?"
"I don't know," I say, "are you sure?"
"I'm sure, Joe," she says, "what are we going to do?"
"We aren't going to panic. We're going to go to the free clinic and get a pregnancy test done have them confirm it for us then we'll figure out what to do."
"I can't be a mom right now," she says.
"You can't be a mom? I can't be a dad. I have football and Gina.. fuck what about Gina?"
"At this point Joe I don't really give a shit about Gina. I am more worried about being pregnant than worrying what she's going to think about it. She's the least of my worries."
"She could break up with me if she finds this out."
"It would be the best thing for you," she says. "She's a bitch don't worry about her. Focus on this," she says handing me the pregnancy test. "I thought my boobs were bigger than usual and heavier than usual. I also thought that it was more than a bug."
"You're freaking yourself out," I say looking at the pregnancy test. "This could be a false positive. We really need to go to the doctor to find out if you're pregnant or not."
"When do you want to do that? Do I need an appointment for the free clinic or can I just go in and get the test done?"
"I'm not sure. I think you can just go in and get the test done. They can give you the results today I believe. I just need to know if you're really pregnant. This test is not very helpful."
"I think it's very helpful, you're just in denial."
"I won't believe it until a doctor tells me that you're pregnant until then you're not pregnant. You're just sick."
"Joe, I think you need to stop denying it and just accept it that we're pregnant."
"No," I say, "I won't accept it unless it comes from a doctor."
"Okay," she says, "whatever you say," she says before she looks sick. "I have to go to the bathroom!" she says before she gets up and runs to the bathroom. I scrunch my nose up as she slams the door. She stays in there for a few minutes before I go to the door to make sure she's okay.
I knock on the door. "Are you okay, Tea?"
"No, I feel…" she says before I hear her throwing up again. I open the bathroom door and walk in. I take a seat on the side of the tub and pull her hair back. I rub her back as she continues to throw up. Tears fill my eyes as I realize that she could very well be pregnant and I could be a dad at 15 years old. It's hard to digest, it's hard not to be scared. 15 is so young to be a parent. I don't even know how to take care of myself and I still depend on my dad for everything.
Later that day Teagan and I are sitting in the waiting room of the free clinic waiting to see the doctor. I couldn't wait till the next day to find out if she is pregnant or not. Teagan has not stopped crying since she took the home pregnancy test. I have wanted to cry as I see all my dreams fading away. My leg bounces as we wait. I look around the waiting room and see babies crying, coughing and I have to look away. My palms start to sweat as I wipe them on my jeans as Teagan keeps her focus on the babies surrounding us. I don't know what she's thinking but the fear on her face is evident. She places her hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing. "Relax," she says.
"I can't. I am too nervous."
"Me too," she says as she takes my hand into hers, "but we'll figure this out."
"I guess," I say as the door to the back opens.
"Teagan Madison," says the nurse.
"Here," says Teagan as she stands up. I stand up with her not breaking my hand from hers as we walk to the back. The nurse greets us and we greet her before she takes us to the back room. She hands Teagan a cup for her to pee in while she sends me into the room the doctor will be seeing her in. I take a seat in the room nervously as the nurse stands by the shelf in the room looking at Teagan's papers. I look around the room and see pictures of women's vaginas and a baby in the womb. I am physically sick thinking about it.
Teagan comes into the room holding the cup in her hand. She hands it to the nurse before the nurse begins to speak to her. "Teagan, how old are you?"
"15," she says.
"And you believe you could be pregnant?"
"Yes," says Teagan as she sits on the table.
"When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?" she asks.
"I believe it was September 1st," she says.
"Okay," she says, "and what type of symptoms have you been experiencing?"
"I've been really sick to my stomach, really nauseous and I have had really sore boobs and my period is late."
"Okay," says the nurse as she writes it down. "I'm just going to take your temperature and then check your blood pressure. Then the doctor will be in to see you."
"Okay," says Teagan before the nurse checks her temperature and then checks her blood pressure. She grabs Teagan's file and makes her way out of the room leaving us alone.
"This room creeps me out," I say. "The vaginas and the babies I can't deal with it."
"You're so immature, Joe, you weren't grossed out with my vagina when you got me pregnant nor were you creeped out by it. I remember you wasting no time giving it to me more than once. Don't get scared of a vagina now."
"I'm not scared of the vagina it's just so in depth. That's gross and a baby comes out of there?"
"I guess," she says, "let's not talk about that right now."
"See you're just as grossed out with it as I am," I say with a smile.
"No, I just don't want to have this conversation with you," she says as there is a knock on the door. "Come in," she says.
A male doctor walks into the room holding Tea's file. His hair is grey and he's wearing a white jacket over his clothes and he has a stethoscope around his neck. "Hello, Teagan," he says with a smile. "I'm Dr. McAlister how are you today?"
"Nervous," she says.
"I understand," he says, "and you are?" he asks me.
"My name is Joe," I reply.
"Nice to meet you, Joe," he says before he shakes my hand, "so Teagan, I understand you've been feeling pretty sick lately?"
"Yes," she says.
"Vomitting?"
"Yes," she says, "and just nausea."
"Okay," he says, "and your period is late?"
"Yes," she says.
"Okay," he says. "It does sound like you're pregnant but I do want to do a test right now to see. He says as he pulls out a little strip thing and picks up Tea's cup of pee. "I'm just going to stick this in here if it turns blue you are pregnant if it doesn't then you're okay and we'll do further testing on you."
"Okay," says Teagan as she watches him stick the test strip in and my jaw falls open as it turns blue right away. Teagan bursts into tears as she sees the results of her pregnancy test.
"Well, Teagan, you are indeed pregnant," he says, "I would like to do a quick ultrasound and make sure everything is okay." She is speechless as he walks out of the room to get the ultrasound machine. This is not happening. She's not pregnant. She can't be pregnant.
The doctor comes back into the room with the ultrasound machine and has Teagan lay back on the bed as he gets it ready. He lifts her pink shirt up to the bottom of her bra before he puts gel onto her stomach making her flinch. I get up and walk over to hold her hand as he takes the wand over her stomach. "There it is," he says as a small bean appears on the screen.
"Fuck!" I say.
"I am pregnant," says Teagan as her entire face falls and the tears form in her eyes. Tears blur my vision as I see this small little creature on the screen.
"I would say about 6 weeks if we go by the date of your last period meaning you are due in the beginning of June."
"No," she says, "I can't be pregnant."
"But you are," says the doctor.
"My mama and my dad are going to kill me," she says before she breaks down crying. I'm in too much shock to cry. I don't know how to react.
The rest of the appointment is a blur. He offers to print a picture off for us but we decline it. He goes over the ways Teagan needs to take care of herself and gives us some pamphlets about our options on what to do with the baby and some pamphlets about the physical and emotional changes Teagan will be going through during her pregnancy. He schedules us another appointment before we leave. We walk back to my house in silence neither her nor I know what to say. What is there to say? We remain distant as we continue to walk on the cool October day. It is a lot cooler than usual for Florida for this time of year. "You okay?" I ask her as we reach my house.
"I don't know," she says, "what are we going to do?"
"I don't know," I say, "we can talk about it inside."
"What about Gina?"
"Screw, Gina," I say. "We need to talk about this."
"Okay," she says as I open the door to my house. I lead her upstairs to my bedroom and shut the door behind us. "Joe, I'm scared."
"Me too," I say, "I'm just as scared as you are. We are too young to be parents, way too young."
"I know," she says as she gets comfortable on my bed. "I should have made you wear a condom. Taryn kept telling me to be careful but I thought it would never happen to me. I'm not the type of girl that should get pregnant as a teenager. That's not me."
"I never thought I would get a girl pregnant at 15," I say, "I'm not ready to be a father," I say sitting next to her on my bed. I wrap my arm around her and she snuggles into my side. "I can't have a kid right now."
"I'm not ready to be a mother," she says, "I can't be a mother at 15. It's not fair to the baby but what are we going to do about it?"
"Well, I think we should talk to your mom about it and see what she says."
"But I want to have some type of idea on what we want to do before we talk to her and why does it have to be my mama?"
"Because if I tell my mom and dad they are going to flip and your dad I am scared of your dad. Your mom is the most level headed so it's better that we talk to her and have her help us out."
"Sounds good to me," she says, "so are we going to keep the baby?"
"I don't think we can," I say, "I mean we both aren't ready for a baby right? Are you ready to be a mom?"
"No," she says, "I have so much I want to do with my life before I become a mom. I want to finish school and go to college."
"Me too," I say, "and I have football. I'm trying to go on a football scholarship. I can't be a dad. It was pretty irresponsible of us to have unprotected sex."
"I know. I thought we would be okay and now here we are. What do we do? I'm scared. I don't want to be a mom right now. I'm only 15."
"Me too," I say. "We're too young, Tea."
"We aren't even old enough to have a job how are we going to pay and take care of a child. A baby needs things that we can't give it," says Teagan. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know," I say as I trace her skin with my fingertips before I hook my hand with hers intertwining our fingers. "I have so much in life that I want to do before I have a baby. It's nothing against you but I'm just not ready to be a parent."
"Me either," she says. "I don't want to keep it."
"Okay," I say, "we don't have to. Adoption?"
"Maybe an abortion?" she asks. "I know it's not the best choice but I don't think I can carry a baby and just give it up."
"But could we live with an abortion?"
"I don't know," she says, "we have a lot of thinking to do."
"Yeah we do," I say as my phone starts to ring. When I see that it's Gina I ignore the call and continue my conversation with Teagan. "How did this happen?"
"You know how it happened, Joe, we had sex and we weren't careful. We should have been more careful."
"Yeah," I say, "A lot more careful. We screwed up, we really screwed up."
"I know," she says, "but we'll figure it out."
"Yeah," I say, "we'll figure it out but we're in agreement we're not going to be parents?"
"We're not going to be parents," she says.
"Okay maybe your mom can help us out a little with the decision."
"I hope so but I don't think she's going to be very happy."
"I doubt it," I say. "What a crazy day."
"Tell me about it," she says with a smile, "but whatever we decide will be the best decision for us."
"Agreed," I say.
*A/N: What do you think about Joe being in denial of Tea's pregnancy? What about him worrying about Gina instead of Teagan being pregnant? Do you believe Joe is sending Teagan mixed signals? What do you think Tea's mom is going to say when they tell her she's pregnant? What do you think of their choices for the pregnancy? Please review and thank-you for reading.