Luar'ke-de struck me, sending me crashing to the floor of the kehrite in a heap where I cringed around the new bruise. The Yautja didn't use training mats, believing pain to be the best teacher, and I was beginning to miss the twenty degree water of Lake Superior. I tried to muffle my gasp of pain, but it came out as a quiet trill that hardened my teacher's eyes. Seeing this, I scrambled quickly to my feet, not enjoying his idea of "helping" me up, and dropped into a stance only to have him stand there and glare at me. The training room we stood in was empty of everything except us, but there were several panels in the wall behind him, the same wall that held the doorway to the rest of the ship, that could be pulled out to reveal training weapons should one desire to use them. We were practicing hand to hand today however, and I was doing poorly. Though I knew I should be focusing on the task at hand, I was distracted and had been for days. It was much harder than I had thought it would be to control the impulses brought on from breathing in the scent of others, especially when one of them was Lar'ja. I seemed to be specifically attuned to him and it was sometimes difficult to not be pulled along for the emotional and physiological ride. I had more than one reason to be distracted, however.

I was still acclimating to the changes that had been forced on me and I found certain day to day tasks to be suddenly awkward thanks in no small part to my new claws. Though not all of it was bad. I seemed to be tougher now; harder to hurt, though Luar'ke-de didn't seem to have trouble finding ways to accomplish this. Still, had I been my plain, normal, human self, I'd have been sweating and black and blue by now, but I was not and never would be again. Both of the boys and Savanna all seemed in complete agreement; I would never see Earth again, or if I did, it would be very brief. My place, for better or worse, was now with the Yautja and their harsh rules and standards. Thankfully though, when I mentioned my unwillingness to give up my faith in God, Luar'ke-de had assured me that I was within my rights to pray to whichever god I wished, even the "ooman" god, as long as I kept the Yautja's codes.

I had thought that I would be capable of that, but Luar'ke-de seemed to have his doubts based on my recent inability to meet expectations.

He got in my face and scowled down at me, growling angrily, "Have defeated Cetanu and still show pain? What is this? Expect better from my student! Feel pain or not, but never show! Is a weakness that will be exploited by others! You know this! When we go among other Yautja, will be during the mating season. Some will seek to mate, some simply to kill. Must be prepared for both and am getting tired of saying so, Mei-jadhi!"

His golden eyes glittered ominously, deep, rough voice hard like granite. It had been several days since the completion of my transformation and he still believed firmly, no matter what I said to the contrary, that I had fought and defeated Death himself in order to come back from the dead. I had tried to explain that near-death experiences, though not common, happened often enough to be documented and studied among humans, but he had scoffed. He refused to believe that humans were capable of what the Yautja were not; defeating Death.

None of this would be so bad, but I had not seen my mate much over the past few days in spite of his initial unwillingness to leave my side. I knew it was difficult for him; to have a mate who's scent said she was receptive to romantic advances, but clearly didn't want that. It must have been confusing and frustrating for him, and made me feel very guilty, and so he stayed away, working on his gadgets or training. I was left wishing that the Yautja had a form of contraception that would ease the situation, but unfortunately, children to the Yautja were all-important. Like living trophies, each child sired by a hunter was proof of that hunter's skill, strength, and cunning. The higher number of children, the more powerful the hunter. Birth control would have been unthinkable; to prevent the physical evidence of one's own skill, power, and honor would go against everything the Yautja believed and stood for. Though using some form of birth control didn't make one a Bad Blood, it certainly made one a fool and probably not worthy of breeding to begin with. At least to the Yautja way of thinking, anyway.

But how many of them were in the same situation that Lar'ja and I found ourselves in?

Lar'ja didn't complain once though, even though that didn't change the fact that I knew he had needs that I was failing to meet. If he were like any other Yautja warrior, he'd have to wait between breeding seasons, but he wasn't. He had a mate that was potentially ready at any time and he had apparently become quickly accustomed to the knowledge that he would need to be prepared to perform at any time as well. He had met the knowledge with an enthusiasm and eagerness that I had come to find both amusing and rewarding, but now that it was potentially possible for us to procreate I simply couldn't allow the contact. He seemed both confused and hurt when he realized that I had been serious when saying "no", as though believing that I didn't want to mate with him because I somehow didn't find him worthy anymore.

The few times over the last few days that I had seen him, he had been quiet and stoic, though still solicitous of my well-being. It felt like a kick to the gut that he felt he needed to be that under control around me; as though he thought that I didn't want him to be affectionate or something. I knew he still loved me just as strongly as before because his scent gave him away, but it also told me my rejection of him after everything he'd done for me had hurt him even though I knew he would never admit it. Or maybe that was just my guilt talking. I wanted to give him what he wanted, but couldn't. It was a frustrating situation and I couldn't see the solution yet. For him though, I would do almost anything.

My back hit the wall painfully, knocking the breath from my lungs, but the angry, roaring, Arbitrator in my face held the majority of my recently questionable attention, "What is the matter with you! Has never been this bad! Know you can do better! ANSWER ME!"

I refused to wince or do anything other than be submissive when his large hand closed around my throat and slammed me back into the wall again in a surge of aggression that filled the air with a bitter, reptilian scent. He was right; I could not afford to be distracted no matter how unnerving and strange the situation and no matter what went on between me and my mate. I could not afford to show weakness, no matter what. I knew this already, but it was something that I seemed to forget at times.

I met his eyes, "Lar'ja."

He snarled in disgust, cursing in his language, and let my throat go, "Agree with choice not to mate, but am getting sick of this quickly! The both of you are annoying! Fine. Have a solution but will take time. For now, must focus. Yes? Capable of better! This should not be a problem!"

My eyes were wide, my thoughts caught on just one thing, "A solution? Really?"

He huffed and tossed his dreads, aggravated, "Just said so, yes?"

"But Lar'ja said there wasn't a solu-"

"Prank among new Young Bloods." He interrupted, scowling, "Stupid, but they think it's funny. Leaves a warrior sterile for a day. Small, easy to conceal in food. Harmless beyond the obvious. They do not try on older hunters for good reason; only each other. One can still perform, but cannot produce a youngling. Only Young Bloods, females, Elders, and Arbitrators know of this. Lar'ja-thwei would not."

I thought on that for a moment with Luar'ke-de frowning down at me. That would solve a lot of problems, but… "Would Lar'ja go along with it?"

"Ha! At this point? Lar'ja-thwei would kill the Grand Matron if he thought it would help. Tired of you both!"

I suppressed a grin. Poor Luar'ke-de, "Where will you find the stuff? Is it expensive?"

He smirked, "Expensive? Am an Arbitrator. Within my rights to simply take it. Will go to nearest clan ship to have work on this ship done. While there, will confiscate what I find. If Lar'ja-thwei does not wish to take, will force him."

I blinked up at him, tilting my head, "What work will you have done?"

His smirk turned back into a scowl, "Sound-proofing the rooms!"

It was a struggle not to laugh and I was glad I could no longer blush. It was just as well. Luar'ke-de attacked without warning, then kept it up. With a possible solution to one of the problems, I had an easier time of focusing on defense and my own attacks, though I was no where close to being a match for Luar'ke-de. I found that his hits, though painful, weren't as bad as they had been when I had been a full human. It almost felt like cheating somehow, but I wasn't about to complain.

We continued on for roughly an hour until Savanna, who had taken it upon herself to become the caretaker of the group, poked her head in cautiously. Luar'ke-de stopped his attack, fist only centimeters from my ribs and an opening that I had foolishly decided to risk, to look at her, "Yin'tekai-di?"

"You have a call."

"A call?"

She frowned, "Yes. A call. Incoming message. Whatever you want to call it, you have one."

He gave her a warning glare, but said, "You know this?"

She shrugged, "All I know is that the screen you use to talk to people on keeps making that chiming noise. I figured you'd appreciate knowing."

He made a vague trill and walked out of the room and around the corner muttering, "Pay closer attention than I'd thought…"

I scowled at his back, then looked at my sister, "I hate it when he wanders off and doesn't tell me what he'd prefer I do."

Savanna grinned, "And here I thought you'd appreciate not getting hit."

I shook my head and looked toward the rest of the room with a huff, hands on my hips, "Oh, don't get me wrong; I like the whole no-pain thing, but seriously I wish he'd communicate a little better. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens, but if he thinks I'm going to spend hours waiting for His Scaliness to show back up, he's nuts."

"Scaliness?"

Savanna shrieked and seemed to just about jump out of her skin in shock. I spun back and stared, surprised and wide eyed, at a sheepish Lar'ja who proceeded to pat my sister on the head, "Did not mean to, Yin'tekai-di."

Savanna aimed a dead look at me out of the corner of her eye, her meaning quite clear. I smirked, "What's up, Lar'ja?"

He wore some of his armor, casually as both boys tended to at times, and squared his shoulders, chin raised slightly, "Need to speak, Baby Jess…"

"You know you can talk to me whenever you want…" my shoulders sagged. This was depressing.

He shook his head a bit and Savanna cleared her throat while beginning to move away from the door, grinning at me, "Um… I just remembered I have things I need to do so, uh, I'll see you later, Jessie! Bye!"

She left at a jog before I could say anything and I was left blinking at where she had been standing. Lar'ja stepped into the kehrite and though his face was emotionless, his scent was not. It wasn't the thick, cloying incense of his need to mate, but instead was light, airy almost, but sweet in the way a spring rain is sweet with an almost metallic undercurrent. Love and pain. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to him and jumped up into his arms, throwing my own arms around his neck and holding onto him tightly. I was sick of the carefully polite interactions. I wanted my sentimental, affectionate mate back, damn it. So we couldn't mate right now. So what? That changed nothing.

He staggered back a step out of surprise, but his arms automatically wrapped around me and he held on to me tightly, breath rushing out of him in a loud purr. He buried his face against the side of my neck and I muttered into his dreads, "Stop being so damned polite, you big, green idiot."

He chuckled through his purring, the sound vibrating against my skin like the wings of restless butterflies, "Cannot help, Baby Jess. Very tempting. Better to stay away for now. Not forever."

"But I can smell your sadness." I clung to him tightly and he slipped an arm behind my knees, easily holding me up.

He nuzzled the side of my neck and I could feel his mandibles pull into a smile, "Do not get to care for Baby Jess as much as I would like. Disappointing to get you back and not be able to fulfill my role."

"Your role?" I pulled back to look at him, and he chuckled again.

"As your mate. My job to give care, pleasure, and younglings. Can do none of that right now. Frustrating. Better at controlling your scent. Both of us are better at dealing with each others' musk. But not perfect. Never will be. Agree to no younglings, so must stay away for now to honor your wishes."

"Compromise is an imperfect art, huh?"

"Exactly, Baby Jess."

"You're here now." I lay my head on his warm shoulder.

His arms tightened around me, "Ah, I stay away, but always think of you. Brought proof. Can do no less."

"Proof?" I was in his arms, could smell his skin and his love for me, and he thought I needed anything else?

"Gifts, Baby Jess. Have promised before."

I held onto him more tightly, face against his muscular neck, "This is all I need."

He purred into my hair and we held on to each other, taking comfort while we could in each others' warmth and closeness. Should either of us begin to need anything more than that, the other would leave, but for now, we were behaving. After days of very little, very sterile contact, this was a balm.

"Ugh! Here? Now? No mating in the kehrite!" Luar'ke-de stood in the doorway, scowling at us. I frowned back.

"We're not mating!"

"Yet." Lar'ja chimed in with a grin. I rolled my eyes, hiding a smirk. It was always amusing to watch the boys interact.

Luar'ke-de scowled, "You will wait, Lar'ja-thwei! Or else!"

"Will wait," he agreed, "but because Baby Jess wishes it. Not because of you."

I thought Luar'ke-de was going to spontaneously combust. His golden eyes seemed to almost glow and his mandibles snapped shut as though that alone would keep him from saying exactly what was on his mind. He squared his shoulders and stood straight at every inch of his eight foot height, growling. Lar'ja chuckled, his arms tightening around me, large, powerful hands giving my flesh a gentle squeeze. Luar'ke-de shook out his dreads, the skull beads clacking against each other, and snarled, "Ungrateful! Do not know why I bother! Waste of time! Better off alone!"

I gave one of Lar'ja's dreads a tug and he sighed while Luar'ke-de continued to rant, the subtly acrid scent of his aggravation filling the air. Putting me down on my feet, I let him go and Luar'ke-de stopped and glowered at us. Lar'ja tilted his head, a roll of purring clicks in his throat, "What are you angry at? Not us. Have joked before."

The Arbitrator's eyes narrowed, "Must go after a Bad Blood. Will have to wait to go to the Clan ship."

"Clan ship? Why?" Lar'ja tilted his head again, bird-like.

Luar'ke-de looked at me, then back to his brother, "She did not say?"

"Say what?"

"I hadn't gotten to it yet." I said.

Luar'ke-de huffed, tossing his head with a roll of his eyes, "Found a solution to your problem. You may not like, but have had enough of your moping."

"Do not mope!" Lar'ja glared toward him, offended, "And what solution other than what I've done?"

The Arbitrator frowned, "Your mate will tell you. Not now."

"Do you know where he is? The Bad Blood, I mean?" I asked.

Luar'ke-de looked at me, silent, and I could see the gears in his mind turning behind his canny eyes. Finally, he said, "She. And yes. Know what direction."

"A female?" Lar'ja jerked in surprise.

"Is that strange?" I asked.

"Happens. But rare. Assume she was cast out?" Lar'ja directed the question toward Luar'ke-de who nodded.

"Huntress. Killed her youngling. Killed an Elder. High Elder R'ka-de was specific. No mercy." again he turned that piercing gaze toward me and I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach and had a feeling I knew what he was thinking.

Luar'ke-de liked to hunt with bait.

I sighed, frowning at him, and ignored the twitch his upper mandibles gave, "What do you need me to do?"

Lar'ja turned to me, confused, but Luar'ke-de's mandibles pulled in a wide, pleased grin, "Ah, Mei-jadhi! You renew my faith in your potential! Intelligent and brave! Proud to call you Student!"

"What are you doing, Luar'ke-de?" Lar'ja demanded, frowning. He was smart enough, I noted, not to physically come between me and my teacher.

Luar'ke-de snickered, pleased, "I? Mei-jadhi just volunteered! Will be bait should I require. Good student! Not like most Young Bloods. Fools all! But Mei-jadhi is worthy!"

"Cannot use Baby Jess as bait!" Lar'ja was appalled, "Use Yin'tekai-di! She is your pet! Baby Jess is my mate!"

"And a Blooded Warrior," Luar'ke-de frowned, "Makes her own choices. Made it clear she did not like being sheltered. Yin'tekai-di won't do for this. Need one that can fight and defend if necessary. Plus is a hybrid. Will likely anger the female more than an ooman pet. Is a good idea and Mei-jadhi supports. Asked herself. Very brave. Honorable. Should be proud, Lar'ja-thwei."

"Am proud." He replied, grim, "But care. Will be near. Females are not like males and Baby Jess has never seen. Will not interfere, but will not leave her to face alone. You use her for an edge because you are outclassed. Do not feel guilt for following her close."

My eyebrows and Luar'ke-de's brow ridge went up at the same time. My gaze shifted between the two of them and I had to ask, "Is it that bad?"

Lar'ja frowned, "Our first teachers are our mothers, Baby Jess, and this female is a huntress. Outclassed against a female that is not a huntress. What do you think? And a Bad Blood? Yes, Baby Jess. That bad."

Well, fuck. And I couldn't take it back, either. Damn it all. Well, if that was the way of it, I was gonna make both of the boys proud of me. Or question my sanity. Might as well have fun with it. So I was going to be bait to something that made Luar'ke-de nervous. Big deal! I'd once hit an Arbitrator over the head with a shovel and killed a Queen candy amanda with a door! Luar'ke-de didn't have a Queen skull, but I did and after only a month of training. I could do this!

I blinked up at Luar'ke-de, who watched me narrowly, and grinned, putting my hands on my hips, "Sounds like fun! If I'm the one that kills her, do I get to mount her skull next to the Queen's?"

There was complete, shocked silence for all of two seconds when Luar'ke-de threw his head back and roared a laugh, golden eyes sparkling with a sadist's joy, "Splendid! Will forgive training today! Obviously distracted earlier!"

He shook my shoulder hard enough to rattle my teeth, then breezed out the door with a jaunty spring in his step. I always found it amusing how he could be angry with me for something one minute, then make excuses for me about it later when I say or do something that makes him proud. Especially when he uses the very thing he was initially angry about. It always made me wonder exactly what was on his mind at those time, but I knew better than to ask. There was only so much a girl could handle in a day.

Lar'ja frowned and was silent a moment longer, only to reach out and pull me near, "Serious, Baby Jess? Not like Queen. Different. Worse."

"Worse? Not possible." I said.

But he nodded firmly, "Possible. Not as big, but more intelligent. Strong, very. And Bad Blood, so rules do not apply. Baby Jess, know that you can handle much, but leave this to Luar'ke-de. Please. Fight only if you must, but let him handle. He is Arbitrator. His job. Not yours. So little training, Baby Jess." He shook his head slowly, blank eyes closed and brow ridge furrowed.

He had a point, and one that I hadn't really thought about. Whoever this female was, she had training and experience that I didn't have. I would be hopelessly outmatched and if I won against her, it would be because of divine intervention. I'd only won against Luar'ke-de once and that had been because he'd underestimated me and was taking it easy. I didn't think that would be true with this nameless female, though who knew? And why take that chance?

I nodded, "Ok, I promise I'll try to avoid a confrontation."

His head jerked back slightly and he tilted his face toward me curiously as though surprised I'd agreed. Then he smiled, mandibles wide, and my insides melted. He pulled me tightly against him, holding me near, "Ah, thank you, Baby Jess. Was worried. Bad enough to be bait, but believe you can handle."

He released me long enough to pull a small, leather pouch free from where it was tied at his right hip. Opening the pouch, he pulled a sleek, metallic horse shoe-shaped object out and held it out to me, "Will need this. Is yours if you want."

The expression on his face was reserved and I realized belatedly that this was the gift he had mentioned. He seemed quietly anxious, as though waiting to see if I accepted it or not and I understood enough of the basic concepts behind the giving of gifts among the Yautja to know that they were both functional and symbolic gestures. According to Luar'ke-de, these gifts were often times jewelry made of the bone of some creature the hunter killed, either specifically for the purpose or from a worthy trophy kill. The message being that the female was worth the time, effort, and thought that went in to the making of the gift, and that the male giving the gift was strong, skilled, and virile. A worthy individual with which to mate.

Though I already knew that about Lar'ja, I took the object from him and looked it over. It was flat on one side, but contoured, and swept down with a smooth nub jutting inward. The silvery metal shone with an almost vine-like pattern etched into it and on the whole, it was a lovely piece of work. Looking at it closely, I frowned, thinking the shape was strangely familiar. Almost like a- "Headphone!"

He nodded with a slight smile, "Where I got the idea… Ruined your headphones once. Thought you would appreciate."

My heart melted. Too bad human guys couldn't be this sweet, "What does it do? It's not like I can play music on it."

He smirked at me slyly, "Can if it's put there, Baby Jess."

"Huh?" I stared blankly.

"Had music on my wrist console three years ago. Kept it. Use it still. Put it on your gift. Control it using your computer."

"Wait… You've had Earth music all this time? You were holding out on me!"

He shrugged, "Never asked, Baby Jess. Did not think of it until Yin'tekai-di mentioned days ago. But that is not everything. Translation tool. Will convert my language to yours so that you can be among us and know what others say. Will tell you what Bad Blood says should it come to that. Want you safe. This will help."

I put it on, one tip sweeping behind my ear to end in a rounded point behind my jaw, the other curled up and over to fit snuggly in my ear. Like my mask, it was held in place using a vacuum seal and was, all in all, very comfortable to wear and not bulky at all, "This is great, Lar'ja! Thank you!"

His head tilted and he smiled, pleased and purring, "Glad you like, Baby Jess. But not all. Have much time to make up for. These are yours."

He held the pouch out to me and I took it, confused. I had music and a translation tool all in one and a mate that would willingly follow me through the pits of hell just to be near me. What else could any girl ask for? Opening the pouch, I reached in and pulled out a small, slender hair bead, shaped much like Lar'ja's, but in that pale, colorful stone I had liked so much. The colors flashed and sparked under the kehrite's lighting and I noted more vine-like carvings, impossibly small and detailed, covering the main tube-like body of the bead. The outer lip on each end of the tube was the same silvery metal as my translator and I didn't think I'd ever owned anything quite so delicately beautiful before. Looking into the pouch, I saw more of the lovely beads and knew I'd have to get Savanna to put my hair into corn rows in order to wear them. I couldn't even begin to imagine the time and effort that went into making each one of these and they were completely mine, made specifically for me by a male that was not shy about letting me know that I had him wrapped firmly around my little finger.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him, laying my cheek against his warm skin, "Thank you, Lar'ja. They're perfect."

He purred and held me near, "Want the best for my mate. Deserve it. And tired of you wearing Luar'ke-de's decoration. Already wear his mark. Bad enough."

I grinned. It figured. We made our way out of the training room and toward the ship's main control with its panorama sensor display, "Why didn't you say so earlier?"

He chuckled, "Either no time or distracted, Baby Jess. Tell me about the solution."

"According to Luar'ke-de, the Young Bloods have a bad sense of humor."

He snorted, "Not news, Baby Jess."

"Hang on, hang on. It seems that they managed to come up with… well, I'm guessing it's in pill form, but it's small and renders a guy infertile for a day. You could still, you know, perform and all, but I wouldn't get pregnant unless you stopped taking the med. According to Luar'ke-de, it won't harm you or anything so it would be safe to take regularly."

He was quiet for a while and when I looked up at him, his face was set in a slight frown. Finally, he sighed, "Would please you, Baby Jess? Dead seed?"

"Well… I thought it sounded like a good solution to our problem…" I bit my bottom lip nervously, careful of my new fangs.

"Not our problem, Baby Jess. Want younglings with you. Think you carrying our young would be beautiful. But you do not want right now. Respect your choice and want you happy. If I take, will be because you wished it. But… dead seed." He shook his head with a sigh, "Forgive, Baby Jess, but suddenly do not know why there are so many oomans."

"C'mon, Lar'ja. Isn't this better than having to stay separate all the time? You agreed that kids right now was a bad idea. This is a solution! And it's only temporary…"

His head tilted back for a moment, face to the ceiling, and he huffed a sigh, "Baby Jess… Do not know why you ask. Would do anything to please. You know this."

"Because you'd be the one taking it. If you don't want to, I won't ask."

He stopped walking and regarded me silently for a moment, before smiling and shaking his head slowly, "And Luar'ke-de does not know why I am your willing slave, Baby Jess. Will take med because I need you and distance is killing. If distance is bad for me, must be bad for you and that is unacceptable."

He pulled me close to him with a purr and I could smell his growing need to mate quickly replacing the scent of his mild frustration. After a brief but warm moment in his arms, he released me and walked away in the opposite direction. I watched him leave, sad and clutching the leather pouch full of the evidence of his regard for me, until I could neither see nor hear him. I stayed there a moment longer and felt my throat tighten.

In the quiet hush of the corridor, I stood alone with only the sad, purring roll of clicks in my throat to keep me company. Why couldn't anything ever be easy?

I own nothing, though I'd love to have Jess's hair beads *^.^*

Happy Reading!