A/N: Fluff alert! Sorry about that. As we all know, I'm a big fan of angst and drama, and I don't really do fluff...but this is necessary fluff, and it gets House and Wilson spending some time together again. Updated 6/15/10 to fix horizontal rule issues.

House woke up the next morning and immediately pulled the covers over his head to block out the sun shining in. He was glad it was Saturday, and he didn't have to go to work...or get out of bed at all. He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. He almost made it.

"House?" Wilson whispered from the doorway. "Are you asleep?"

House cracked one eye open. "Yes."

Wilson took the response as an invitation to come into House's room, and he walked up to the bed. House suddenly remembered Wilson's touch the night before, and tensed up. Wilson didn't try to touch him at all; only there, apparently, to ascertain House's plans for the day.

"What are you up to today?"

House truly had no idea. "Uhh..."

"Because I was thinking of driving to New York and spending the day there. Did you want to come?"

Normally, House would have jumped at the chance to go. He always loved to stop by Bleecker Street Records, and was occasionally able to convince Wilson to go to FAO Schwartz. Today, though, he didn't want to get out of bed yet. He was also a little nervous about spending any time with Wilson. If last night was any indication, Wilson had obviously decided to take a no holds barred approach to showing his feelings for House. House didn't want to find out what his own reaction would be if Wilson touched him like that again. He thought there was a good chance he might grope Wilson right back, and that would not be good.

"No, that's okay. You go ahead. I think I'm just gonna relax today."

Wilson nodded. "I understand. You get some rest; I'll see you tonight. Is there anything you want me to pick up for you?"

House thought about it. "Bagels. Sliced. With a freezer bag."

"But of course," Wilson said with a grin. "Okay, I shall return with tomorrow's breakfast. Wish me luck!"

"Make sure you get some 'everything' bagels!" House called without moving. "If you forget, I'll send you all the way back over there."

Wilson just laughed as he left House alone to sleep. House lay in bed for a few more minutes, but soon realized he was not tired enough to go back to sleep. Cursing, he sat up and swung his legs carefully out of bed. If he took a shower and got dressed, it would be almost ten o'clock. He had told Erica he would call her today, but maybe he would just show up and surprise her instead. The more he thought about his plan, the more he liked it. He limped over to the bathroom and started running the water.

House rang the doorbell and waited to Erica to answer. He thought he heard strange noises coming from her apartment – it sounded almost like a girl shrieking. Intrigued, he pressed the doorbell again. A harried looking Erica finally answered.

"Oh my goodness, you're a life saver!" she exclaimed.

House looked at her in confusion.

"Come in, come in. I've got the kids over today – all five of them."

Ah. House did not really want to interact with Erica's "Little Brother/Little Sister" foster kids, or whatever they were. He didn't do kids. He would probably end up tossing one out the window just to check whether gravity still worked. He started thinking of excuses to leave.

"Sit down, Greg." Erica pushed House onto the sofa. There were two girls who looked about seven and ten years old playing with a Barbie doll on the floor behind the sofa – was one of them the shrieker he had heard from the hallway?

"I have a huge favor to ask you."

Uh oh.

"Can you watch the kids for a few hours? I just got a call from work, and I need to go in today. It's an emergency, otherwise I would have told them no."

House watched one of the girls pop Barbie's head off, and wondered where the other three kids were. No way was he going to get stuck with five kids!

"So what's the problem? Take the kids back where you go them from."

Girl number two began crying as girl number one swung Barbie's head by the hair and threw it across the room. Erica got up to intervene. Grabbing the head and handing it to girl number two, she turned to girl number one and admonished, "Portia, what have we said about breaking Jeanine's dolls?"

Portia rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Jeanine. Here, gimme. I'll fix it. Don't cry."

Erica plopped back down onto the couch. "I can't bring them back home because there's nobody there right now. Foster dad's away on business, and mom's at her appointment at the spa. She's had this appointment for two months. She'll be at least another two hours. She only goes once a year. Heaven knows she needs the break."

"Okay...then bring them to work with you."

"I can't! I work in Philly; I'm not allowed to take them across state lines without permission from the state."

"Well you can't leave them with me, either! I haven't passed any kind of background check. I could be a psychopath or a pedophile for all you and the state know."

"You're a doctor. You deal with children every day. I would trust them with you if we were at the hospital, so there's no reason I should worry here. Just think of it as a very long house call. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it, if anybody asks."

House was at a loss. This was not looking good for him. He could say no and run away, but he had a feeling Erica might never speak to him again if he did that. He sighed. "Let me call Wilson and see if he can come help." At a ratio of five kids to one of him, he didn't like the odds.

Erica looked relieved. "That's a great idea! Backup is good."

House took out his phone and dialed Wilson.

"House?"

"Wilson. Where are you? I need you to come back to Jersey."

"Why?"

House sighed, knowing Wilson would not be happy that he was hanging out with Erica when he said he wasn't going anywhere. "I'm at Erica's place, and she's watching a bunch of kids. She has to leave, and I need you to help me with the kids."

There was a brief moment of silence from the other end of the phone. "I thought you were staying home today?" Wilson asked accusingly.

House fibbed. "I was, but then Erica called me over here..." He looked pointedly at Erica, hoping she would get the message. She nodded. She would corroborate his story with Wilson if need be.

Wilson spoke up. "Okay, I'll be there. I'm about 45 minutes out, so I guess that's how long it will take me to get there. Give me her address."

House put Erica on the phone so she could give Wilson directions. As she was wrapping up the call, he saw another kid leave Erica's bedroom. He looked about five – at least, House thought it was a he. He was completely covered in makeup.

"Oh, shit," Erica muttered as she hung up the phone. "House, this beautiful guy is Benjamin. Benjie, did Katie use all the makeup on you?"

Benjie shook his head no. "She used some on herself, too."

Erica sighed and walked into the bedroom. House followed with trepidation. Sure enough, there was a girl no taller than Benjie, also covered. "This is Katie, and she's six. Kids, this is Mr. Greg. He's going to be playing with you for a while. Come say hi."

"Hi," said Benjie quietly.

"Hi Mr. Greg!" exclaimed Katie.

Erica pointed to the corner of the bedroom, behind the nightstand, where the fifth kid was wedged. He had a notepad in his hand, and he was writing something in it. "That's Alex. He's thirteen, and he doesn't talk much."

Erica left the three to their own devices in the bedroom. "Portia, Jeanine. Come meet Mr. Greg."

Portia and Jeanine abandoned their Barbie and dutifully walked over. The both looked up at House, who seemed very tall to them.

"Portia and Jeanine are sisters; none of the other kids are related."

House nodded, barely remembering names, much less who was related to whom.

"Come on, we've got to get Benjie and Katie cleaned up. You grab him, I'll grab her."

House was already getting tired just walking back and forth between the bedroom and the living room. He again followed Erica, and, tentatively reaching his arms out, gently picked up Benjie. To his surprise, Benjie was fairly light and easy to carry. "Wheeeee," said Benjie.

"Wheee," agreed House. He brought Benjie into the bathroom, where Erica was already working on Katie. House put Benjie right up on the counter.

"Here, use this," she said, passing House a jar of cold cream. He dipped his finger in it and rubbed some on Benjie's face. Grabbing a washcloth, he wet it, then wiped the gook off of Benjie. To his surprise, the makeup came right off with it. This kid stuff might be easier than he thought.

"You got him? Good, I'm going to grab my stuff."

Before he could blink, Erica and Katie were gone from the bathroom. House finished cleaning off Benjie, took him back down, then went to find Erica. She was already at the door, briefcase in hand.

"Thank you so much, Greg. I called their mom, so she knows. She's going to pick them up here as soon as she's done. I'll call you later on to check in. Oh! And they're going to need lunch pretty soon. Talk to you later!"

With that, Erica was gone, and House found himself completely alone with five kids.

"Benjie, don't touch Barbie!" a girl's voice yelled. "You'll get boy cooties on her."

House looked at his watch. Ten-thirty. When the hell was Wilson going to get there?

The doorbell rang, and House looked up from the Disney Channel. Must be Wilson. He levered himself off of the couch and went to answer the door. He noticed he had a tiny, three feet tall shadow.

"Benjie, what should we do before we answer the door?" he asked.

Benjie looked up at House. "Check to make sure it's not somebody bad," he answered.

"Good boy!" exclaimed House. He reached down to pick Benjie up, and Benjie climbed right into his arms as if he'd known House all his life. House held Benjie up to the peep hole.

"Who do you see?"

"Some man."

"Oh? What does he look like?"

Benjie shrugged. "Like a man."

House shifted Benjie to his hip and looked himself. Yep, Wilson. He opened the door and gestured at Wilson to follow him to the couch. "We're watching a Hannah Montana marathon."

Wilson looked around. House had a boy in his arms, and there were two girls on the floor in front of the couch, eyes glued to the t.v. There was one younger looking girl on the couch with her legs curled up underneath her, who appeared to be watching the girls on the floor more than the t.v. House sat down and plopped Benjie onto his left leg.

"Horsie?" Benjie asked. House rolled his eyes, but started moving his leg up and down, and side to side, making galluping noises as he bounced Benjie around. Wilson could not believe what he was seeing. He took a seat on the couch next to House and just watched, smiling.

A commercial came on, and House snapped his fingers at the two girls on the floor. "I need some more chips. And another Coke."

The two girls took off for the kitchen, giggling. Wilson looked on, appalled. "House!"

"What? We're playing 'House servants.' They're my servants, and their only job is to do my bidding as quickly as possible."

"You can't do that to –"

"Aw, they love it. See?" The girls came back with an opened bag of potato chips and a cold can of Coke. Jeanine poured the chips into House's empty bowl, while Portia struggle to open the can.

"Need anything else, Mr. Greg?" Portia asked.

"No, I think I'm good for now. Oh, shhh, the commercial's ending!"

The two girls settled back down to watch.

"I might have wanted a soda too, you know," grumbled Wilson.

House rolled his eyes. "Get your own impressionable kids to do your bidding. These are taken."

Wilson watched as Portia stole a handful of chips from House's bowl and shared them with Jeanine. Portia looked furtively up at House to see if he noticed, and House pretended not to.

"Isn't it almost lunch time?" Wilson whispered. "Or were you going to feed them potato chips for lunch?"

As if on cue, the doorbell rang again. "Get that, will ya?" House whispered back. "It'll be about forty dollars, with tip."

"What?" Wilson exclaimed, but answered the door anyway. It was a pizza deliveryman. Wilson took the two pizzas and order of breadsticks, and forked over his own money. He should have known House would somehow find a way to part him from his money – after all, he always did.

"Lunchtime!" shouted House. He gathered Benjie up and followed Wilson into the kitchen, where he found plates and napkins.

"Can we have ice cream after lunch?" Portia asked.

"Do you see a cow hanging around?" House sniped. Portia shook her head no. "Then I guess the answer's no."

"Oh. Okay."

Wilson was impressed with how well Portia took the news. He had half expected a tantrum, or at least some pouting.

House handed out two slices to each kid, who all disappeared back into the living room with their lunch – except Jeanine, who handed hers back.

"I can't eat dairy," she said sadly.

"Oh." House thought for a second, then handed her a breadstick instead. She looked at it and put it down.

"This has dairy on it. See?"

Sure enough, it was covered in Parmesan cheese. House wanted to tell her that a little cheese couldn't possibly hurt her, but then realized that he didn't have her medical records – maybe it could, who knew. He looked around the kitchen for some other option. Seeing the bag of potato chips, his eyes lit up. He poured some chips onto a plate, grabbed the little container of marinara sauce that had come with the breadsticks, and plopped it down in the middle of the chips. Jeanine took a chip, tentatively dipped it into the sauce, and put it in her mouth. Shrugging, she took the whole plate and went back to the living room. Wilson again looked at House as if he had just committed a war crime.

"That's going to be her lunch? I don't even think there's one entire food group on that plate, House!"

"Oh, relax, Wilson. She's lucky to be eating at all. These modern parents and their 'Three square meals a day' business. Back in my day, we had to walk fifty miles in the blinding blizzard, uphill both ways, wearing flip-flops, just to get something to eat. It's not like she won't be able to eat yet again at dinner time. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

Wilson wanted to respond, but now found himself distracted by thinking about House and underwear. He wondered what kind of underwear House was wearing right now, and if there was any possible way he could somehow check. Shaking his head, he tried to change the subject.

"I thought you said there were five kids. I only see four?"

House looked around. "Oh yeah." He grabbed another plate and slide a slice of pizza onto it, then headed for Erica's bedroom. Wilson followed, curious. He watched as House approached the far corner of the room, and only then saw the boy sitting there, behind the nightstand.

"Pizza time!" House announced, handing the plate to the boy. The boy took the plate without looking up from whatever he was doing with his notebook, and set it down on the floor next to him. House shrugged, looked at Wilson, and walked away.

"What's his problem?" Wilson whispered.

House shrugged again. "Just quiet, I guess. Come on, I want to see whether Miley's going to get a date with that guy."

Wilson followed House back to the living room, thinking that despite the unhealthy lunch, things were really fairly under control. He was almost impressed.

Benjie looked up at House. "Horsie?" he asked.

House sighed. "Fine. Come on up."

Benjie started to climb onto House's right thigh, but House stopped him "Ah, ah, ah – what happens if you sit on that one?"

"I'll get a flesh eating fungus and I'll have to pay you five dollars to get the cure," Benjie recited. House nodded.

"That's right. Here, climb over it onto this side." He helped Benjie onto his left side and started 'galluping' his thigh again. Wilson looked away from House, trying not to laugh.

The two men and four kids watched another two episodes contentedly. House had the two older girls gather up all the dishes and load them into Erica's dishwasher, only following behind them when they were done to turn it on. Before they knew it, the doorbell rung – the kids' foster mom had come to pick them up.

"Wilson, go get that," House said, as he walked toward the bedroom. "I'll get Alex."

House heard Wilson make polite small talk with the woman at the door. He ambled over to Erica's nightstand and stood there. "Alex...time to go home."

Alex said nothing, just closed his notebook and stood up. He walked past House without looking at him at all, and House watched him leave, wondering a little about this strange kid.

When the kids were all gone, House and Wilson collapsed on the couch. Wilson turned to House.

"You're a lot better with kids than I would have thought, House."

House shrugged. "Didn't throw any of 'em out the window, if that's what you mean." He closed his eyes, exhausted. Wilson reached out his hands and began gently rubbing House's shoulders. At this, House's eyes popped wide open.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Shhh," Wilson admonished. "Just relax." He pushed House forward and twisted him around so that his back was facing Wilson, then began to massage House's back in earnest, smiling as House groaned happily.

House let himself enjoy Wilson's ministrations for much longer than he intended. He felt himself dozing off, and only woke up when Wilson stopped. House sat up fully and looked at Wilson, confused. It was then that he heard the key turning in the door. Erica was home.