A/N:

There's not much to say. Doyle's hunt is on. The BAU team is in danger. And... action...

Albeit the review number slowly (and sadly) seems to drop, the number of story alerts still goes up – so I keep telling myself that I must (hopefully) do at least something properly.

Thanks a million to my loyal readers and reviewers! And to those of you, who read and didn't review before – click the button, do it for my sake, it doesn't take much time (depending on how fast you can type and how much you have to say). ;-)) Thx!

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Criminal Minds belongs to CBS. I own nothing but a vivacious imagination.

No-one likes hospitals. The aseptic smell, the muted colors, the hushed voices. Nevertheless in times past Hotch associated something good when he thought of a hospital – Jack's birth. But this positive memory was displaced long ago by the many bad ones – the New York disaster, his almost death due to Foyet, Garcia being shot by a fake lover, Emily's injuries after Cyrus' savage beating and now this.

In spite of the bad memories he wishes though that he could be there, just drive to the hospital and stay with the one of his agents that has been shot. Surgery goes on and from what he knows so far it doesn't look good. But he can't be at the hospital now, none of them can. It's too dangerous. Too many people, too many exits. A security nightmare. None of them would be safe and it's bad enough as it is. If this was no random shooting or is connected to another of their gruesome cases, Doyle really has started his revenge. There's personal protection for the wounded agent at the hospital (now that something has happened, budget cutbacks are suddenly irrelevant – it's so cynical) and the rest of them will meet at Quantico. Precautions. He doesn't want to risk anything, although he can't even be sure that the rest of them is okay. They haven't reached everyone yet.

Emily is driving and the night flies past. Dawn is near, but in a way, he thinks bitterly, there will always be darkness in their lives.

Hotch has been on the phone since they left her apartment. It was Morgan who called and informed him that there had been a shooting. When a FBI agent is attacked, the superiors are informed immediately. It's standard procedure. But someone at the bureau must have screwed up so that Morgan had received the initial call instead of Hotch. Within the first 24 hours with reduced security measures the worst had happened. After Hotch told Morgan to call the others (except Emily because she was right there with him – news Morgan didn't react to at all) and to meet at Quantico, he dialed Strauss number. It was during their discussion that Emily realized she had never heard him yell at anyone before. Let alone that Strauss is his direct supervisor. Hotch was angry beyond reason though. He had predicted that something would happen. They would have stood at least a better chance to prevent this, hadn't personal protection not been cancelled because of the budget cutbacks.

They arrive at Quantico and Hotch hangs up, his face an angry mask as they get out of the car. When Emily passes him by, he grabs her arm and pulls her into a brusque embrace. He didn't have time to shave and his five o'clock shadow is an unfamiliar sensation, scratching her skin softly. Well, actually an embrace in this place is unfamiliar, because this is completely against their policy to not let their private life interfere with their work. There are cameras in the parking block and someone probably has a heyday right now watching the unit chief with one of his female agents.

But Hotch obviously doesn't care. At least not now. "It could have been you," he murmurs, referring to the shooting.

"It wasn't me," Emily responds softly. "I'm here." Everything is still raw and complicated between them. The make up sex was good, incredibly good in fact. That doesn't mean though that everything is all right again just like that. The awkwardness lingers and surrounds them. It takes more than reunion sex and one straightforward conversation to find back to each other. Nevertheless a shiver of relief floods through her. In the last two weeks she wasn't certain anymore what she means to him. Most likely he wasn't certain himself and who is she to hold that against him. Yes, he told her he loves her last night, but this could have been only the heat of the moment, the desperate need to erase Doyle from the memory of her body and her soul. This open display of affection on the other hand shows her that he cares emotionally. Emily closes her arms around him and relishes the feeling, only now realizing how much she has missed this, missed him.

"What if it was Doyle who assigned the shooting?" she asks hesitantly and senses Hotch tense up when she mentions Doyle's name. "And what if we... or Interpol... finally find him – will you..."

"...kill him?" Hotch finishes her question.

His hands don't leave her body when he leans back to look at her. "I have taken an oath to obey the rules of the bureau... so I could only kill him in self-defense," he says slowly, stopping there, not speaking his mind aloud. Emily reads the rest in his eyes anyway. What he doesn't say is that this time he won't obey the rules of the bureau. If they catch Doyle, he will find a way to kill him.

The bullpen is much too empty. Morgan and Reid are there, but that's it.

"Where are the others? Did you reach them?" Hotch asks the moment they walk through the door.

"Garcia's phone goes straight to voicemail," Morgan says. "Probably she is with Kevin and doesn't want to be disturbed." Every other explanation is too devastating. "I sent someone to check." The tone of his voice implies unmistakeably that he doesn't like it at all that he can't check this out himself, that he has to hide like a coward. But that's what Hotch decided.

"Rossi?" Hotch asks next.

"Phone rings, but he doesn't answer it," Morgan responds and they all fall silent. This isn't good. They are all supposed to be on call anytime. It's weird enough that they can't reach Garcia, but she has these rebellious tendencies every once in a while. Rossi – no way. "Same here," Morgan adds with a strained voice. "They are checking on him. We should get the call any minute."

The building still is asleep in these wee hours and it's just the four of them. They all have brought their go-bags, knowing that they won't leave, let alone go home, soon. If Doyle really is on a man hunt, then it's a safe house or the spare rooms in here. Everything else is suicide, personal protection a drop in the ocean at this stage. There are whispered rumors about other agents who had to use Quantico's spare rooms before in similar situations, but they never would have thought that their names could become part of the legend.

A door closes somewhere in the background.

"I think Strauss just came in," Hotch remarks and leaves to have a word with her. Emily hopes that there won't be more yelling. Because of her Hotch is already in a difficult if not compromising situation. She doesn't want him to lose his job due to this chaos she inflicted on his life.

Without his presence beside her Emily feels even more uncomfortable, aware of the glances Morgan and Reid dart at her. JJ tried to explain to her that they all are uncomfortable around each other, because they sense her being uncomfortable, but with those two it's different. She is close to them or at least was and the sudden distance can't be fixed so easily. JJ... Emily swallows hard at the thought that her friend and colleague undergoes lifesaving surgery right now with none of them by her side. When she wakes up there will be a deserted room with nothing to look at than blank walls, with nothing to experience than pain and loneliness. She deliberately forces herself to think when JJ wakes up and not if. Emily doesn't want to tempt fate. When Hotch called Will on their drive here she almost couldn't hold back the tears. Albeit Hotch tried to convince Will to stay with Henry, Emily is convinced that he will find a way to make sure that their sun is safe and then will get to JJ as soon as he can. It's what Hotch would do, if it was her.

"Do we know whether JJ is out of surgery by now?" Emily asks and what she really means is, Do we know whether she survived? Reid looks like a lost child and shakes his head. The surgery still goes on. There has been no information on JJ's medical condition as yet. Morgan just snorts as if, oh yeah, what a hell of a question coming from her, since she's the reason for all this, and turns around to do something – or rather anything – that requires to put more distance between them.

At least Reid doesn't flee and Emily touches his shoulder gently to get his attention, "Hey." He startles as if he has woken up from a dream. A bad dream. Reid and JJ have always been close; therefore it's no surprise that this upsets him particularly.

"She will be okay," Emily assures him, assures herself, because every other option is unthinkable. How is she supposed to live with the blood of her friend on her hands?

Reid lifts his head to look at her and Emily holds his gaze to give him the much needed support and strength that things will turn out well somehow, even if she has a hard time believing it herself here and now. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but he seems to believe her, his eyes darkening when he obviously contemplates on something else. "You feel guilty," he then states the obvious. Well, it doesn't take a genius to observe that. He can do better. And he does.

"When I was kidnapped and tortured, forced to choose someone to die, I felt guilty," he says and his voice is almost only a whisper. Emily nods, she remembers the horrible moments when they helplessly watched Reid being tortured, when he eventually said Hotch's name to save his own life, chose him as the one to die. Even if they hadn't been a couple back then, it had hurt her deeply, had felt like a betrayal, although it turned out to be a clever move from Reid to let them know his whereabouts so that they were finally able to rescue him. Emily doesn't exactly understand what Reid is trying to tell her. It feels good though that he talks to her, makes an effort to discuss instead to judge or ignore her. "But that wasn't the only thing I felt guilty about," Reid continues. "Of course the whole experience to be kidnapped and tortured was... horrible. The drugs I was forced to take... that was horrible too... at first... and then... it was so good. And I needed to recreate this high over and over again. I just couldn't stop. I wanted to, but I couldn't." Reid has talked himself into a frenzy. It is his usual modus, speeding up, talking faster and faster, until it is an inextricable constant flow of letters and no single words anymore. Emily nods again. Yes, she remembers this too - vividly. How he changed, how he behaved inappropriately and aggressively – especially towards her. Reid screws up his face in a mixture of embarrassment and pain. Albeit these are no fragrant memories, he slows down his talk, wants her to get the point, "I always associated the drug use with my kidnapping. Still I couldn't stop myself from taking drugs. I felt so guilty and yet the high felt so good." Reid shoots a side glance at her, "I know how it is when you're unable to stop with whatever you're doing, no matter how self-destructive it might be."

The silence when he stops talking is deafening. Emily is torn between gratefulness and humiliation. She didn't make the connection, missed the forest for the trees. Of course it is Reid – with his history of mistreating himself – who is able to understand her and her messed up relationship with Doyle at best. She doesn't ask how Reid can know about her and Doyle, whether Garcia or JJ told him or whether the genius figured it out all by himself. Most likely they all know by now. At least this would explain Morgan's reaction towards her that was even more tense than usual. Just when Emily is about to speak, Reid's facial expression changes. There is something else.

"Doyle didn't kill you a year ago when he killed your former team," Reid states thoughtful, expecting no answer. "So you being alive was to his advantage." He pauses, still caught in his thoughts. Emily has no idea what this is about. "And even now that he obviously is angry enough to attack your current team, us – and despite the pending official confirmation we all know that the attack on JJ was his work – he doesn't hurt you. So you being alive is either to his advantage to this day or a stringent necessity for him."

Emily tries to interrupt his flood of thoughts, "What..." But Reid doesn't even look at her when he continues, "You came in with Hotch and this could either be a coincidence and he picked you up on his way here – although this would have been a detour – or it could have been the trigger for Doyle." Eventually Reid's eyes meet hers and he bows his head almost apologetically. Emily is at a loss for words. She didn't consider that before, thought that there was no specific trigger for Doyle's first attack, that this night was as good or as bad as any other – if this actually is his work (although she, like Reid, has no doubt about it).

She closes her eyes and lets the insight wash over her. It's true. She has always been Doyle's trigger. She is the reason that her former team is dead and that JJ is in mortal danger. If Doyle really chose this night for his first attack, because he somehow found out that she made the first steps to reconcile with Aaron then... a lump builds in her throat. Emily is aware that Reid is watching her, but still she doesn't know what to say. There are no appropriate words for this. No, Reid, she thinks bitterly, you don't know how I feel. Not even remotely.

Suddenly Morgan appears. He is running, his body tensed up, phone in his hands. "Hotch...," he yells and somewhere back a door opens and Hotch and Strauss come over. "I just got a call," Morgan breathes hard and this is not caused by the few steps he had to run over. He is in a state of shock, barely able to stop his voice from shaking, "There was an explosion – at Rossi's home."

When the big picture is too much to take, the world goes into splinters. It's all about the details. The look of confusion and concern on Reid's face. Morgan's angry tension, his readiness to fight the whole world to protect his team. Hotch's calm composure, his indomitable will to exercise control. Everything is a blur of words and motions. Emily feels like a bystander.

Her cell phone vibrates. A message has come in. JJ, she thinks when she checks for it. Please let it be good news. Please let her be ok. Then she realizes how stupid these thoughts are. JJ would be in no condition after the surgery to text her a message. Well then, Garcia maybe, but the text message has been sent from a number she doesn't recognize.

Two agents down, Emily reads and starts shaking. If you want to save the rest, meet me in an hour in the parking block.

There is no name, no sender, but it's not needed. Doyle hasn't given up on her. The game is still on.

To be continued