thank you for your lovely reviews,
as for people who are reviewing about why I skipped through the five years so quickly
Calebs position in this story - why he made her leave
Tylers significance to the story, Jacob & Bella's relationship
all will be slowly unravelled as the story goes on, so after some patience your questions will be answered :]
READ AND REVIEW PLEASE :)!
BELLA POV
"Bella I'll be right back, just get a drink 'kay?" Seth kissed my forehead and ran off; I gazed at the table there were a huge selection of drinks, ranging from simple mineral water, sodas, juices, alcoholic beverages and a selection of cold ice teas. My eyes caught a beer and I took the bottle sipping at it, I could feel heat, I knew Jacob was standing besides me, I had to face what I did, I had to apologize and hope he just accepted it, there was nothing much I could do besides that. I looked up I hadn't even realized I was crying, I think I saw his hand move, but as my eyes caught sight of it, it was dangling by his side, we stood in silence for a good few minutes, I broke our gaze almost every minute, looking down and then back up, but his eyes remained on me, he was hurt, I had hurt him, I knew I did, I was one thing to be left by a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but to be left by your imprint, leaving something behind so sickening, even if you lied, of course he wouldn't ever find out, he couldn't.
"I shouldn't have come" I whispered, placing the beer bottle back onto the table, "I'm sorry for leaving I am, I shouldn't have left everything like that…but I had no choice Jacob" …silence, "I'm sorry, this was a bad idea, I'm gonna go" I turned closing my eyes for the briefest few seconds, "yeah you leave, you seem to have mastered that quite well" he croaked out, "go on leave, what are you waiting for Bella?" he never called me Bella, it was always Bells, Bella was very rare but the tone to how he said it just now wasn't like before. I turned to look back at him, shaking my head, "I don't expect you to understand, hell Jacob I don't expect you to forgive me" I answered, "but I can't tell you why, I can't do it, I left because I had no other choice, I didn't choose to leave Jacob" my voice was louder now, "I never wanted to go, but I had no choice, if there was a way around it, I would have stayed, I would have given anything to stay but I couldn't" drawing in a sharp breath I sighed, "I couldn't even come to Charlie's funeral, that's how bad it was, I couldn't return, I couldn't until now"
"I'm not going to ask you to forgive me, I'm not going to do or say anything, I came back because I had to see things for myself" he chuckled darkly, "so what I don't deserve an explanation?" he spat out, "yeah you do but I can't give you it, I'm just sorry, but I did it to keep you all safe that's all you need to know" I turned around, and as much as it pained me to walk away I took a few steps sobbing quietly, "DON'T FUCKING WALK AWAY BELLA, I DESERVE AN EXPLANATION, WHY DID YOU LEAVE?" he grabbed my hand turning me around, I tried to pull away but he held me by both wrists, "TELL ME" he growled through his teeth, "Jacob dude you're gonna hurt her" Quil came to his side gripping at his hands to let go, "fuck off Quil, move NOW" Quil sighed taking a step back and I looked over at him, pleading for him to help, "I can't…I can't go against the Alpha's command Bells" Quil spoke.
"Jacob please let go I can't tell you" I whimpered trying to pull my hands out his grasp, "Jacob I'm gonna bruise please, just loosen up please" he didn't he kept his hold on me his eyes still locked on mine, "if I was you I'd get my hands off her now" I turned to see Tyler walking up to him, "I'd advise you to step back and fuck off before I break your nose" Jacob replied, his eyes now on Tyler, "I'm serious I'll fucking kill you if you touch me or Bella" I winced and Jacob tightened his grasp pulling me slightly closer, "Ty it's okay seriously, just go with Quil" …"Tell me please" he begged before dropping his hands from my wrists, flexing my fingers I looked up into his eyes shaking me head and taking a step back, "I can't do that Jacob, please just understand" he sighed deeply, before looking past me into the forest which lead up onto the beach. "In there now" he ordered me but I didn't move, "I'm not in your pack, you can't order me around Jacob" I shot at him, "fine hard way then" he picked me up by my waist and slung me over his shoulder as he walked towards the forest, I squirmed in his arms, my balled up fists punching his back which was hurting me rather then him.
Putting me down he put his hands on either side of me, on the tree which I was now trapped in, "you have to tell me…you left for five years Bella, you wouldn't talk to me, I was so close to killing Edward did you know that?" my eyes widened as my mouth hung open, "I thought he had taken you, you just left all of a sudden, and I couldn't find him, then I did, we fought and I was so close until he swore he didn't and I could see in his eyes he didn't. No one knew anything as to where you went," his words were strained, his cheeks stained with tears. "Jacob look at me" tears ran down my cheeks, and onto my shirt and down my neck as his eyes followed them, "I left to protect you, but I can't tell you why, I can't put you in that danger" I shook my head, "Bella, look at me, how could you put me in danger? I kill leeches, even with their advantages, and new-born strengths, nothing had happened to me – look at me!" the last three words were snarled and I flinched, my body began to shake, "Bells I'm sorry please just" I felt him pull me against his chest and his arms were now wrapped tightly around me,
"Are you in trouble? I'll protect you if you are, just tell me, I'd kill for you Bells" I looked up hearing my nickname for the second time, his eyes were softer, "are you angry with me for leaving?" I blurted out and he shook his head, "no I'm hurt" I nodded pulling away from him but he kept his arms locked around me, "don't please, please don't walk away from me not again" I felt my eyes close and I leaned against him, "I can't tell you why I left Jacob, I don't know myself exactly what the reason was, but I had to go, I couldn't watch any of you die, I couldn't go through that, I couldn't lose you" I bit down onto my lip, "wh-what do you mean?" I sighed shaking my head, "Jacob, look you have to trust me, I never wanted to leave,I left because I had no other choice" shakily I brought my hands up to his face, "look just listen to me, and trust me, I'd never lie to you, but I can't tell you, not now, maybe one day when I know it'll be safe, please?"
His hands were now cupped over mine, his eyes closed, my heartbeat had quickened within the last few seconds, and he noticed, his lips were still in a straight line and he pulled away abruptly, "know what? Fuck it" my heart plummeted, my mouth dropped open and he just stood there shaking his head at me, "I.." …"I've fucking been there for you Bella, through everything, when that leech left you" I squeezed my eyes shut, what a low blow that was. "I've been there through everything, I've loved you, I've protected you, where's Cullen now huh?" I fought back the tears, this wasn't my Jacob anymore, this person, had changed my Jacob. I looked up, his lips moved as if he said 'I'm done' I struggled to get past him, his arms gripped around mine as I continued to push him, "LET ME GO LET ME FUCKING GO" I shrieked at him, tears spilling from my eyes, his warm hand was immediately there wiping them away,
"DON'T YOU DARE, DON'T TOUCH ME" I cried out puling away from him and walking, "I'm done too, I'm done trying" I ignored the fact that my legs were shaky and I continued walking pulling away from Quil once he came towards me, "don't" I shot out at him, "you tell Jacob, to stay away from me, I'm done with all this, I'm done with this magical world you all belong in, I can't do it anymore" I croaked out, "what did he say?" I looked up at him and heard a growl from the side, "Bella listen to me" I spun around to face Jacob who stood there, "no, I'm done, you never understood when to stop did you Jacob?" I questioned him; he just looked over at me confused, "don't get it? Let me refresh your memory" I growled pulling out the paper I had been forced to write on all those years ago, chucking it towards him, "REMEMBER THAT JACOB? READ IT, AND MAKE SURE IT STICKS" take it back take it back before you fuck up the best thing that's ever happened to you my mind furiously shouted at me, yet I chose to ignore it. "You never meant those words, I know you, I know you better than anyone"
I shook my head at him, "no, you don't you see…I've changed, just like you have" I held my hand out as he took a step forward towards me, "your girlfriends lonely you go keep her company, and like I said to Quil, leave me alone" turning on my heels I bit my tongue regretting every word that came out, I never wanted this, I never wanted to hurt him, or any of the pack, I wanted him to hold me, I wanted to explain but I had choice but to lie. "Bella?" I approached Tyler my hand over my forehead, "I don't feel well Ty" I whispered, taking a deep breath, "what's wrong?" he pulled me to him, as I broke down sobbing, "I-Jacob-him-go-love-broken-never" it all came out jumbled up and incoherent, "shh calm down baby" hearing a growl behind us I didn't lift my head, I knew that growl all too well, "yes?" Tyler snarled back pulling me closer to him as I sighed, "I want to talk to Bella" Jacob replied his arms crossing over his chest, "I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to see you right now, or talk to you ever again" Tyler had balls, I had to give him that, standing up to someone like Jacob who was near enough 6'7", even bigger than before, Tyler only stood at 5'12" and was no where near Jacob's size.
"I want to talk to her" he continued, pulling away from Tyler I turned to face him, his hands were balled up by his sides, his eyes were locked on Tyler's arms and hands which were wrapped around me and resting over my stomach, "take your hands off her" he practically snarled, Tyler's grip only tightened on me and I could see Jacob begin to shake. I couldn't let anyone get hurt, not Tyler he didn't deserve it. Jacob's body was practically twitching and I could see the pack approaching, pulling away from Tyler I placed my hands over his arms, pleading with my eyes for him to stop, he calmed down almost instantly and his face softened, please I mimed out quietly, to my surprise he nodded his head, dropping his eyes to the ground, "I gotta go" I whispered only low enough for him to hear, "I'm sorry, but I think it'll be for the best if we continue with things how they were…from the last five years" I lied unhappily, and pulled away, taking Tyler's hand in mine, "please don't" I shook my head, "I have to, it's not fair on you, I'm sorry Jacob, you tell Billy I said hello" and with that I used everything in my power to turn and walk away from him, from the needs, the urges, the wants, the desires I had, it took everything in my power to not cling to him, to not tell him why I left, how much I loved and needed him, but I couldn't, I couldn't jeopardise everything – not now after so long.