Chapter 10 (A)
"So how lucky is Erin getting tonight?"
Her eyes stayed locked on the body mirror as she twirled around examining her outfit. She wore an aqua colored cami with matching necklaces hanging loosely around her neck and tight blue jeans. "I'm not sure."
A dramatic sigh snapped her out of another daze. "I can hear it in your voice, Doll. You're barely listening to a word I'm saying and just saying whatever to shut me up. What's the deal? Are you nervous?"
She walked out of the closet and took a seat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through her newly fixed hair. "I'm not nervous." Blue eyes landed on the dresser mirror, fixated on the small picture of her and Ashley. "Erin doesn't make me nervous, its just...something else." The last part was sighed as she fell back onto the bed. "Aiden, is this a good idea?" She asked into the expensive cell phone in her hand needing someone else's opinion.
"Is there a reason for you to think otherwise?"
A couple, no. Just one, she thought closing her eyes. Everything she did seemed to be contradicting itself. Nothing made sense anymore, and what was making sense, confused the hell out of her. "Ashley came over after you left." She softly confessed for no reason at all or maybe that was her way of answering him.
"Did you guys get into another fight? Is that why you're acting so weird?"
"No, we didn't fight." At least, she didn't think they did. The moments before her migraine episode was blurry, but what made her so weird wasn't the thought of them fighting. It was the complete opposite. How sweet she acted, how she ran her fingers through her hair and kissed her, cursing when an interruption broke them apart.
"She's no good for you regardless. You just need to ignore her existence and move on. Make Madison your girl BFF if you really need one."
"I can't just forget her." She stated quietly knowing no matter how hard she tried, Ashley would always be there.
"She's not a good a friend, not your family, and not your lover. Why can't you tell her to go fuck herself and move on?"
Frustration slowly filled his tone. She understood where it came from, understood why he felt the way he did about Ashley, and he was right. She was bad for her. "I love her." And that's what kept her from saying what she had every right to tell the brunette. To go fuck herself. The problem was, she didn't want her to go away, if anything, she wanted her constantly. In her presence, there at her side, on the bed-
"That wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't one sided but we both know she's a selfish cunt who only gives a damn about drugs."
"She loves me back."
"Did she tell you that lie?" The disgust was evident in his tone.
"She doesn't have to say a word."
A moment of silence passed before he said anything else. "Phoenix, this love...this love you keep mentioning between you and Ashley, its like our love right? Just a friendship love type thing, right?"
It was something strange and confusing, soft one moment and then hard another, blissful before it hurt- it was a love type thing. Something close, but far, affectionate and then distant...."Yeah." She heard a car outside the house. "We're just friends. Nothing else."
"Good, because you can't start seeing someone while in love with someone else. It's just...not a good idea."
"I know." Sitting up, she got off the bed and walked to the window, ignoring the fact she didn't deny being in love with her. "I have to go. Erin's here."
Aiden's words echoed through her head as she walked down the staircase. It wasn't a good idea to go on a date with Erin when Ashley occupied so much of her thoughts, but she was the one who texted her, telling her another lie. I'm lying here in bed thinking of you and the wonderful time we're going to have. The message couldn't have been farther from the truth. She was lying in bed looking forward to canceling so she could spend the rest of the day with her....but she had other plans.
Don't think of me! How could she ignore her after spending hours asleep in her arms? Only to wake up and have her hovering above her, kissing her... how could Ashley take her phone and push her into going on the date? It obviously meant nothing to the brunette. Not a thing.
Maybe her feelings were one sided, she wanted to be on the other side.
The side that didn't give a fuck.
Lost in her thoughts, her arm reached and she grasped the door knob, opening the front door before her date had a chance to knock. She felt the blush paint her face as her eyes met green, only intensifying the red. "Hey." She greeted smiling to mask her embarrassment. Her eyes briefly scanned the other girl's body and she had to admit the girl looked good. Her ebony bangs stylishly fell across her forehead as the rest of her long, wild hair loosely cascaded over her broad shoulders and back, the tips of the dark mane dyed blonde. She wore a colorful Beatles T shirt over a tight pair of black Levi jeans with holes at the knees and checkered van slip-ons on her feet.
"You look great." Erin complimented noticing the color of her shirt and the effect they had on her eyes. They intensified the blue into a color you could only find on some rare secret island surrounded by the cleanest, purest, water of the sea. She stopped herself from continuing and smiled a nervous, giddy smile. "I spent the entire week thinking about this moment and now that its here, I can finally give you this." She handed Spencer a CD case.
The blonde looked down smiling at the CD itself. At some point in time it was an ordinary plain white disk, but Erin turned it into something beautiful. The sharpie work done on it was impressive. Skillfully drawn hearts, chocolates, flowers, and music notes cleverly filled the circular canvas. She looked up at her. "You're my first date in forever and I spent a lot of time debating whether I should bring you flowers or maybe chocolate but then I thought, you can't have the chocolate without the flowers, but I didn't want you to think I was cheesy or anything so I decided to burn you a CD." Her green eyes dropped to the disk in her hands. "7 songs. Each expressing what I felt when I thought about you that day."
"I love it." Erin didn't resist when Spencer hugged her, wave after wave of relief washing over her. She returned the hug smiling the entire time. "Thank you. I'm sorry I don't have anything for you." Spencer pulled away feeling a sense of guilt as she gazed into her date's eyes. Erin put a lot of thought into the night and in return she wanted to cancel for someone who didn't even care for her love life. "Would you like to come in for a bit?" Somehow, someway, she'd make it up to her.
"Yeah, sure." She stepped into the house and turned around hearing Spencer close the door behind her. "Do I get to meet the rents, too?"
"Unfortunately." The blonde mocked disappointment. "They're on a cruise."
"Oh, lucky them." She looked around and noticed picture frames hanging on the wall pinned against the staircase. "It must be awesome cruising in the middle of December." She moved closer to the pictures and smiled at the one with two adults posing on the beach with two small children. "You have your Dad's eyes and your Mom's gorgeous looks." She looked at Spencer who was right at her side. "Does she still look anything like that?"
"She managed to keep her figure." Her features turned playful. "Just please no MILF comments. I've heard enough to last a lifetime from my brother's friends."
"I wasn't planning on it." Her face scrunched up. "I'm not really into Moms."
"That makes two of us." Spencer laughed and the sound was music to Erin's ears.
A wide toothy grin shaped her lips. "It must mean we're compatible." She regarded the picture again and looked closely at the two blonde toddlers playing in the sand. One obviously a boy, she assumed it was her brother and found it odd that she never mentioned him, but pushed the thought aside. They've only been talking for a week. It'd be ridiculous to know every detail about her life, but she didn't mind slowly reaching that point. "You were a cute baby by the way."
"Thanks. I'm sure you were too with the dark hair and bright green eyes." The older girl turned and she was once again faced with her good looks. Her eyes lingered and she noticed a tiny freckle just below her eye on the right side of her cheek. "Would you like something to drink?" The slight shift in Erin's demeanor brought the question out her mouth. She could tell the dark haired girl wanted to kiss her, but it didn't feel right. At least not yet.
Erin backed away a little. "Sure. Have anything fizzy and bad for my health?"
She smirked. "One Dr. Pepper coming up."
Erin slowly continued up the staircase looking at the rest of the pictures lining the wall. Spencer's obvious attempt to avoid a kiss wasn't discouraging. She assumed she was her first girl date and knew it would take some time before she became comfortable enough to do anything like that with her. "Thank you." She accepted the cold soda being handed to her. "Do you have a sister?" Her fingers popped open the can as she gestured to the picture with a simple head nod.
Her eyes moved to the wall. The picture brought a good memory to mind. It was one of her and Ashley on Halloween dressed as power rangers. She was pink and the young brunette yellow posing like they were ready to kick some ass. "No." The question was understandable. Ashley was in a few of the pictures around the house. "That's Ashley."
"Oh, the famous Ashley?" Erin smiled at the questioning look on her face. "You mention her a lot when you talk."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." A big white dog came from around the corner and headed up the staircase, stopping at the top. "And who's this young guy?" Erin asked showering the dog with affection.
"He's an old boy." Spencer fondly smiled at the sitting dog as she ran her fingers through his short fur. "Ashley found him about 10 years ago digging through the trash. Her mother wouldn't let her keep it so she brought him over here." She could still see the look on her father's face when he showed up with Ashley at their house holding a small white puppy. 'You in the market for a new little brother, Sunshine? Where are your folks? I gotta convince them to adopt this little guy.' "His name is King after our favorite movie at the time 'The Lion King.'"
"What was Simba taken?" She playfully inquired ruffling the top of the Dog's head.
"Ashley didn't like the name for him." She was done talking about the brunette, the guilt was coming back and she didn't understand why. Staring into Erin's face, she didn't see any signs of jealousy or frustration. "Want to see my room?"
"Sure."
They walked down the hallway in silence. Spencer stepped inside the room first followed by Erin. Green eyes landed on the tallest stack of magazines she'd ever seen. "Wow." She turned to the blonde in awe. "This must have taken years of collecting."
She nodded placing the CD on the dresser. She opened her mouth, about to tell the story behind all the magazine, but quickly shut it. "I love to read them." She shrugged hoping the little lie wouldn't bother her conscious. The truth was Ashley was behind her fascination with the magazines. The young brunette would always come to her house with a new story to tell from something she read in a magazine while shopping at the store with her parents. Spencer loved the stories and started collecting the magazines for her and Ashley to sit in her room and read them together, laughing at every other page. The brunette was good at making fun of celebrities. Plus they were fun to cut up and staple to the wall.
Erin steered away from the magazines and walked over to the Zune dock. "Mind if I take look?"
"Go ahead."
She grabbed the small black Mp3 device and began searching through her library, voicing the music they had in common. She was impressed with all the different Genres especially the foreign music and occasional Opera song. "You listen to a lot of Britney." She mused noticing all of the famous Pop singer's CDs.
"Yeah, I love her." Thanks to Ashley. "We should leave now if we want to catch that movie." She had to get out of the house. Before tonight, she was oblivious to all things Ashley related and thinking of her was becoming tiresome. She had to leave.
Erin placed the Zune back onto the dock and faced her. "I was actually thinking we do something else. I drove by the theatre and it was just too crowded. So many kids from school...it wouldn't be a good place to go."
"Okay." Spencer agreed. "Did you have anywhere else to go in mind?"
The large garage style door to the small warehouse was opened by the Artist. Spencer smiled at her as she walked in holding two subway sandwiches in one hand and her purse in the other. Her eyes took in the new surroundings and she found the open room to be charming. A mattress sat in the far corner of the room, the rest filled with tables of art supplies and many blank and full canvases. "This is really awesome."
"I'm glad you like it." Erin stopped at her side. "We can go eat at that table." She gestured to the only one in the room without anything on its hard top. Grabbing two chairs, the taller girl waited for Spencer to take a seat before gently pushing her in.
"Thank you." The blonde gratefully flashed her a smile and watched as she took the seat across from her. "Who taught you how to be so polite?" She playfully inquired unwrapping her food.
Erin grinned. "Nickelodeon." She chuckled along with the blonde while taking her drink out from the cup holder and handing it to her. She did the same with her drink and popped off the lid deciding to ignore the straw.
The two girls ate in a comfortable silence. It was short lived. Spencer's cell phone rang loudly in her purse; with knit brows. she reached down and retrieved the blue Rumor. "I'm sorry." She told her date relieved when a 'no problems' was her reply. The text message was from Glen. She rolled her eyes and turned off the phone after reading it. "That was just my brother, Glen." She looked up at the dark haired girl. "He's throwing a house party and didn't want me to freak when I got back home."
"You don't look too excited about it." She took in the blonde's features and realized, she looked a lot like the only Glen she knew.
"I don't care." She smiled wanting to ignore the frustration bubbling up inside. Last time her brother threw a house party she was the one left to clean it all up. Not this time, she internally promised. "My parents come back in a couple of days. He's just celebrating what's left of his freedom."
Erin nodded taking a bite out of her sandwich. She watched Spencer do the same and after swallowing voiced her curiosity. "Is your brother Glen Carlin?"
"Yeah." She was fearful and curious at the same time. "Do you know him?" She picked up her ice tea and took a couple a sips, hoping Glen didn't have much to do with her.
"Not really." Erin answered having some more of her drink before continuing. The blonde's answer some what surprised her. Glen was nothing like her. "I see him around a lot at clubs and stuff. Plus he has somewhat of a reputation around school it's strange you two are related. Then again, I'm sure people say the same thing about me and Madison."
She nearly choked on the liquid sliding down her throat. "You and Madison are related?"
"Only by blood." She smiled at the shock on the other girl's face. "My real name is Eleanore Marie Duarte. Madison and I are cousins, but we don't get along. Never have never will."
She thought back to their first encounter. "That explains the drawing." They shared another smile before moving onto the next topic. They talked about kids at school, her last game, Erin's last show, and didn't stop until they finished their meal.
"Want to do some painting?" Erin asked collecting her trash.
Spencer did the same and walked with her to a nearby trash can. "Sure." She looked at her. "Just don't expect me to be good."
"Deal."
Spencer was in awe as she stared at the finished pieces. Erin used a lot of color in her work and it amazed her to be able to tell the mood behind some of them. Like the darker colored ones always sent a sad or angry message. The brighter colored ones usually depicted a happy image, and then there were some that forced her to wonder what was going through the other girl's mind, just way out there, almost trippy, she had fun trying to figure them out. "You're incredible."
Erin stood behind the blonde watching her move from canvas to to canvas, admiring her work. She was touched and the honesty in her compliment brought an appreciative smile to her face. "Thank you." She moved in front of the blonde and gently removed the used canvas from one easel. "Now show me watcha got." She placed the finish piece on a table and grabbed a stool.
Spencer took a seat and accepted the think black brush handed to her. Staring at the empty canvas, she felt Erin's presence behind her and stared up. "I don't know what to do." She confessed gazing into her face.
Erin knelt down until her lips were adjacent to her ear. "Just paint what you feel. Happy, sad. How do you feel right now, Spencer?"
The voice was soft in her ear, the closeness of her body affecting her ability to think straight. She was scared, the brush trembled in her hand, she tightened her grip trying to get it to stop shaking. Erin doesn't make me nervous. Her earlier words came to mind and she wanted to laugh at the falseness of them. Fear coursed through her as she felt the eyes on her, watching, waiting, the simple turn of her head was all it took.
Blue eyes closed, Spencer turned her head.
She felt the smoothness of her lips and with a shaky hand reached up and cupped her cheek, feeling the height of her cheek bone against the palm. They kissed slowly, Spencer stood up from the stool and felt the Artist's hands slowly touch her body. They ran up and down her back as she parted her lips. Erin's tongue entered the warmth of her mouth to meet hers, they moved languidly together, deepening the kiss. She clenched her eyes shut tighter, trying to keep Ashley away.
The only thing running through her mind as their lips teased, tasted, and played was how different she was from Ashley. She begged her mind to stop and pushed the thought away moving her hand from the girl's face to her hip and regretted the move. She was reminded how different her body was from the brunette's and felt the tears stinging behind her eyes. This isn't what she wanted. Erin was a great kisser and had a body to die for but it wasn't right. Nothing felt right. "I'm sorry." She broke the kiss and stared into perplexed green eyes. "I'm so so sorry. I..I can't do this. I'm sorry but I..I just can't."
Erin's heart sunk and she felt confused but refused to show any of it to Spencer. The tears slowly falling from her face kept her from doing or saying anything that'll make her feel worse. "Don't be sorry." She forced a smile of reassurance. "It's okay. I understand." Erin placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Lets get you home."
The ride back to her house was quiet. Spencer stared out the window as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. Erin hadn't said a word since leaving the warehouse, She didn't blame her. Her earlier words came to mind and she was thankful for them. She deserved to hear the worst from her mouth but instead, the artist said nothing but kind caring things. I understand. No you don't, Spencer argued in her head. How could you possibly know when I don't have a fucking clue?
The car pulled to a slow stop and her eyes caught sight of the many cars outside her house. The house party. She wanted to cry all over again. The night was miserable and the funny part was, she did it to herself. "I'm sorry." She looked at Erin for the first time since entering the car.
"Don't be." She wasn't angry but the soft smile on her face didn't seem real. "I'm here when you're ready, Spencer."
Having nothing left to lose, she leaned over and hugged her trying to keep from sobbing. Erin was such an amazing person, nice, kind, and caring- why wasn't that enough? Why couldn't she just kiss the girl and enjoy it? Enjoy her and forget..."Thank you." She pulled away and got out of the car.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she walked numbly to the house and didn't give a damn about her appearance. The kids in the yard stared but she didn't care. She deserved the humiliation. Turning the doorknob, she entered the house and leaned back against the door. There were people everywhere, fast techno music blared from their surround sound, she turned head and stared at the dancing bodies in the living room. Her eyes landed on Ashley, she wanted to look away, but stood transfixed.
The brunette danced close to another woman, their hands on each other's body as the blonde whispered in her ear. Ashley's face stayed expressionless as she gazed into the sea of moving bodies, not responding to a word the girl was saying.
Spencer watched Ashley move to the music with the pretty girl feeling angry at herself. Did she really ruin an amazing night with Erin for her? The brunette didn't have any problems forgetting her existence and doing whatever to whoever. There was nothing on her face, just a remote blank look, like her mind was somewhere else, but it wouldn't be on her. She was never on her mind. That much was obvious.
The blonde pulled away from her ear and moved forward to kiss her, but Ashley turned her head, and their eyes met from across the room. Spencer stiffened under her gaze and she all of a sudden cared about her appearance, cared about openly staring at her and the girl, and her peers who surely walked by thinking 'what the fuck is up with her?' She had to get away from there. Away from Ashley's probing gaze. What was she searching for anyway? It didn't matter. Spencer didn't care.
She moved to the stairs and hurried up to her room, thankful to find it empty. She collapsed on the bed but didn't cry.
She was out of tears.
Chapter 10 B
The door to her bedroom slowly opened but she didn't care to turn and greet the intruder. She knew it was Ashley and in her mind wished she'd turn around and go away. A bitter grin shaped her lips. She thought that a lot in one night, but her wish never seemed to come true. Especially on her date when she needed it to happen the most. Of course, Ashley kept coming to mind and she just had to end the date only to find her dear Ashley with another woman in the living room. Yes, she was jealous and had every right to be. "That silly little kiss wouldn't be the reason I leave you." The words were hushed as the brunette moved closer to her. Holding her breath, Spencer watched Ashley's face as it neared hers feeling her fists clench around the bed sheets as her head tilted slightly to the side. "It'd be the reason I stay."
Fuck you.
The bed shifted and seconds later she was eye to eye with her. It was just like Ashley to get in her face instead of talk to her back. She wondered what the brunette saw in her eyes, the lights were on, there was no hiding in the dark. Not this time and she didn't want to hide anything. She wanted Ashley to see the misery reflected in her harsh gaze. "What'd she do to you?"
Nothing. Not one fucking thing. Its you. You're the reason I'm like this. "I don't want to talk about it."
Ashley's gaze never faltered as she remained silent. Spencer boldly stared back, her running thoughts adding fuel to the flames, each passing second only making her more angry. "It has nothing to do with her, does it?"
"I'm not talking about it." She curtly repeated turning on her other side. Blue eyes closed and she listened closely to the girl behind her, waiting to hear her get up and leave. It never happened. Instead of running, Ashley moved closer, wrapping her arms around her, she spoke softly into her ear. "Dance with me." Spencer laughed and it was far from joyful. Did Ashley really have no clue? Was she not dropping enough hints? Right now she didn't like the brunette, and here she was, asking her to dance. "Come on, we'll get down like a couple fags on E."
Opening her eyes, she moved on her back and peered up at the brunette. "Is that what you're on?"
Never breaking eye contact, Ashley straddled her hips, a ghost of a smile kissing her lips. Spencer lied silently underneath her wordlessly staring, wondering what she'd do next. "I'm on you." She simply answered. "Now will you dance with me?"
"I'm not in a dancing mood." Her eyes dropped the brunette's gaze and she focused on the hem of her shirt. With one hand she reached out and played with the thin material, her fingers occasionally brushing against the soft skin underneath. "Besides, you already have a hot little blonde to dance with. What do you need me for?" It came out harsher then she intended, but it was hard to mask anything under Ashley's gaze. The closeness of her body was another distraction, it seemed the butterflies in her stomach would never die.
"I'm sorry it hurt you to see me with her and I know it did." She sharply looked up. "But I wasn't going to sit around and do nothing while you and the Rocker..." Ashley trailed off and then continued again, "Hung out." It was all in her voice what she meant by 'hung out' and for some reason she was reminded of the Aiden incident so long ago. She wasn't as blunt but the message was still the same. Ashley thought the worst of what they did together and almost seemed jealous because of it. Spencer didn't know whether to set her mind at ease or let her think she slept with Erin.
She went with the first choice. "I'm not like you." She gently started letting her hand drop from her body. "I can't just hook up with anyone and be okay with it."
"You could have fooled me." The reply was softly spoken with a smile to match.
But Spencer didn't smile back The reason she couldn't hook up with just anyone sat on top of her and it killed her how easy it was to fall for her, for every word she said. Her earlier words came to mind and she stared at Ashley wondering if she really was her dream, or her nightmare. "It's different with you." She confessed quietly staring up at her with an almost pained look in her eyes.
Ashley looked down and this time, it was her hand playing with the hem of her shirt. Up until now, she seemed casual, almost playfully, but there was a noticeable shift in her demeanor. The girl sitting on top of her no longer wanted to dance, she wanted to run far far away and never look back over her shoulder. There were actual emotions playing over her features, and when she looked back up into her eyes, she noticed the fear. "It's different with you too."
The words were spoken quietly. Her eyes searched for any trace of a lie, for something false, but there was nothing. Blue eyes saw nothing but the raw emotion of a scared girl. It spoke three words she needed to hear. "Show me."
Ashley hesitantly leaned forward, Spencer's blue eyes watched her anxiously, expectantly, and kept their gaze locked as she took her face in her hands, her thumb brushing over the single tear running down her cheek. The brunette whispered a thank you as she dipped her head, "No," She paused a hairs breath away from her parted lips, confused. "Tell me." The vulnerability was easily seen on her soft face, time passed, and she was almost afraid Ashley would get up and leave her. But she pulled her closer, whispering with trembling lips, "I love you," before closing the distance between their mouths, and showing her.
The kiss was nothing like anything they'd shared in the past. Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley's neck, her hand buried in dark curls, the knuckles white from the intense grip. She moved her lips just as hard against Ashley's, swallowing the brunette's whimpers and moans as they released all their pent up emotions, giving into their hunger for each other until their lungs begged for air. Eyes closed, Ashley pulled away another soft moan escaping her as Spencer lightly sucked on her bottom lip. "Look at me." She whispered breathlessly as she brushed the back of her finger's over the softness of her new love's face. Brown eyes opened, the hooded, dark, desire in them sending another wave of arousal through her. "I'm scarred too."
"Don't be." She placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I don't want to hurt you anymore." She kissed her again, "I want to be your first." And again, her lips lingering a second longer before she pulled away, staring deeply into her blue eyes. "And your forever."
She smiled running her fingers through the curly hair she adored as a tear spilled from her eye. Ashley kissed it away forever, pulling away, she returned the smiled before moving back down to capture her lips in a sweet gentle kiss, her fingers trailing down her body, stopping at the hem of her shirt. The blonde cupped the back of her head deepening the kiss as Ashley's hand slid up her abdomen, the muscles quivering under her touch.
Spencer moaned deeply into the kiss feeling Ashley slip underneath her bra, her hand cupping her breast, blissfully teasing the hardened bud with the palm. She shuddered under the brunette and slightly cried out, her hips jerking as the pounding between her legs intensified. Never in her wildest dreams did she think it'd feel this good to be with Ashley. Sex wasn't something she ever strongly desired, but under the brunette's hands, she didn't want to ever stop. The closeness was intoxicating, Ashley's soft kisses made her heart soar, her hands ecstasy to her skin, the love so easily felt with each touch. Her fingers gripped tightly onto the brunette, one hand buried in her hair while the other held onto her shirt. Gentle kisses were placed along the soft skin of her jaw. "You're so beautiful, Spenny." She groaned at the huskiness of the warm voice in her ear, her slender hips sharply rising and falling as loving fingers teased the sensitive skin surrounding an erect nipple.
"Ashley." The name breathlessly escaped her lips as a jean clad thigh settled between her legs, "Ashley" She pleaded her hand moving up to her shoulder, ready to push her away. Everything was too much, her senses overloaded with a pleasure that seemed both perfect and painful. It terrified her. "Shh," Ashley whispered into her ear lightly rocking against her, teasing her aching center. "Don't worry, I've got you." Her fist enclosed on the material of her shirt covering a slender shoulder. Moaning, she threw her head back with a slight tilt to the right, offering Ashley the soft flesh of her neck. The brunette accepted and kissed down the sensitive skin, nipping and sucking until she reached the V-neck of her cami.
Blue eyes hooded with desire, Ashley kept her gaze moving to sit on her knees, her fingers moving down, lifting her shirt up. Spencer sat up and lifted her arms up allowing the thin material to be removed from her body. Ashley threw it aside and then dipped her head, kissing her while removing the blue strapless bra covering her breasts. Spencer's hand came up and cupped the left side of her face as she was lowered back onto the mattress. Another soft moan escaping her as she felt the fullness of Ashley's body against her naked torso. Nothing before in her entire life felt so right, their bodies fit so perfectly together, Ashley broke the kiss and with her own dazed hooded eyes stared down at her with a small smile on her lips. it was almost as if they were made for each other.
The brunette dipped her head placing a loving kiss on her brow, both sides of her face, and then another on her lips. Blue eyes fluttered shut as her hands moved up and down her sides, her thighs trembled as Ashley rocked slowly against her. She sighed into her mouth feeling a hand knead her breast. "Ashley," She moaned against her lips, "Ashley," She turned her head and buried the left side of her face into the pillow as her hands clenched tightly onto her shirt, knuckles white as the brunette moved her hips faster, the throbbing between her legs unbearable, her hips moved desperately back against her as her body screamed for release.
She cried out as the brunette moved completely away from her. "I'm not going anywhere." She husked reaching down between their bodies, undoing the button of her jeans. Their eyes stayed locked as Spencer lifted her hips, only breaking the gaze to watch tanned hands slowly lower her jeans and underwear down her legs until she was left completely nude. Brown eyes traveled down her body taking in every inch of her flesh. Spencer felt a bit self conscious under her gaze, and blushed when she dipped her head kissing the neatly trimmed hairs between her legs, she looked up into her face with desire burning her eyes as she sucked and licked up her abs, nibbled up her neck, she lightly suckled her earlobe and hotly whispered "You're perfect," before moving down to take her lips in a hungry kiss.
Spencer jerked back sharply inhaling as Ashley's fingers brushed across her sensitive clit. "You're okay." The brunette dipped her head and kissed her lightly, her fingers lightly stroking up and down her sex. The blonde buried her hand into her hair and deepened the kiss, groaning into Ashley's mouth as she suckled her tongue. "Ashley," She moaned into the kiss as the fingers between her legs became more insistent. "Yeah?" She playfully asked sucking on her bottom lip as her thumb made slow circles around her clit. Her hips jerked as another moan escaped her, her heavy lid eyes gazing almost painfully into brown. Her body screamed for release as her hips moved up to deepen the contact against her hand, "I want.." She sighed against Ashley's parted lips, "Ashley," She moaned as the brunette moved her thumb a little faster, "Please," She panted sucking her bottom lip into her mouth and biting down to keep from screaming.
Ashley placed a lingering kiss on the base of her neck, dragging her lips against her skin until she reached her ear. "I love you." The words were softly whispered, her hands clutched hard onto the brunette's shoulders as she felt her thumb move a little faster. "Ashley!" She groaned deeply her hips jerking off the bed as she felt a finger gently enter her.
Sliding in and out of her, blue eyes rolled back as she felt the brunette add another finger. "Ashley," She continued to moan and scream begging her not to stop, her legs tightly squeezed the hand between her legs as she felt her climax approaching. "Open your eyes." Her blue eyes opened meeting the hooded brown above her, she felt the tears fall down her cheeks, the intensity of the pleasure crashing through her body overwhelming, "I love you." Ashley whispered as she felt her inner walls quickly tighten and relax over and over again against the fingers inside her. The brunette moved faster into her; Blue eyes closed, her back arched off the bed as she cried out 'Ashley', her nails digging into the skin of her lover's hips as she shuddered violently from an intense orgasm that dragged on as the brunette continued to move slowly inside her.
She fell limply back onto the bed breathing raggedly. Her hands fell from Ashley's body as she fought hard to control her trembling limbs. Soft lips lovingly kissed her face as caring arms held her close. A satisfied smile shaped her lips as the brunette lightly kissed them.
Blue eyes opened and gazed fondly at Ashley as she placed another tender kiss on her naked shoulder. Her jello like arm reached up and she ran her fingers through her dark curls, watching as she sucked across both her collarbones, nibbling at the hollow of her throat, her brown eyes looked up as she slowly kissed her way down her body, lingering at her heart before hovering above an aching bud.
Spencer unconsciously lifted her body to the warm breath, feeling aroused all over again. The look in the other girl's eyes was nothing but pure want. She let out a soft groan feeling the warmth of her mouth envelop her tight bud. Ashley's brown eyes closed as she sucked and licked, driving the blonde crazy all over again. Her fingers raked through her hair, messaging her scalp as she sighed feeling her clit twitch between her legs. Just watching Ashley was enough to send her over the edge. Her eyes watched her fingers as they disappeared into a sea of brunette waves, wondering if all this was really happening. For so long, she wanted Ashley and it almost seemed unreal that she had her. A part of her was unbelievably happy while the other part feared- she didn't want to think about it anymore. "I want to see you." The brunette stiffened at hearing the huskily spoken words. With a blank expression, Ashley pulled away from her and moved onto her knees, diverting her gaze from Spencer.
Hesitating, she reached down and grasped the hem of her shirt. For a moment she sat frozen like that, and then ever so slowly lifted the shirt off her body. Removing it completely, she ignored the gasp coming from the blonde and continued to remove her bra, Spencer's blue eyes oblivious to her tossing it aside.
Across Ashley's rib cage read the words 'KILL ME' freshly engraved into her skin. She was mesmerized by the bright shade of red, Ashley had done it recently, there was no question about it. She looked back into her face. Brown eyes stayed glued to the wall, her face free of any emotion. There was no indication of what she might be thinking. Spencer opened her mouth but had no words.
Her gaze lowered back to the two words and she moved closer to them, her fingertips tracing each letter, trembling. Ashley didn't hold back. There were a couple of cuts that needed stitches, the depth of them terrifying. How could someone hate themselves so much...Spencer closed her eyes, replacing her fingertips with her lips, she kissed along each letter, silent tears falling the whole way across, she kissed every inch of tattered skin and when she reached the end, she continued up her body, kissing her until she sat on her knees, face to face with the brunette.
She dropped her head onto her shoulder, kissing the skin she found there. Her arms encircled Ashley's body as she turned her head, slowly kissing up her neck, she felt Ashley's arms slowly wrap around her and pressed her forehead to her temple. "I love you, Ashley." She whispered placing a lingering kiss on her cheek. "I love you so much."