(Tai's POV)
Title: The only lone angel of courage and the comforting princess sincerity
Chapter 10: One Step Closer
Chapter done: 13/04/08
Author: Shadowh3art The Clone
Rating: PG-13 to PG-15 (Based on violence and depressive thoughts)
Genre: Angst, romance
Summary: Tai experiences a fear he's never thought was possible, and becomes distant from the ones he loves; Kari, Matt, Sora, his mom and…Mimi. But one girl wishes to change that. I will use musical references to some songs to add to the atmosphere.
Disclaimer: I do not own any lyric of any song quoted from any band. I also do not own or partake with anything of Digimon or it's characters. I use them to make literature.
Songs used:
One step closer by Linkin Park
Wish you were here by Incubus
I woke up as I looked over at my alarm clock. It read 3:34pm. I jumped out of bed, as I noticed there was no sound or footsteps outside of my room. I opened the door and noticed no one was around. I walked up to the kitchen table and noticed a note. I read it as I examined it thoroughly.
(One step closer by Linkin Park)
I
cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I've said before
'Tai,
Be back later. Your Grandmother asked us, Mr and Mrs Ishida to watch over you guys. Any ways, talk to you later, Tai.
Mr Ishida'
All
these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
I began to frown. Great more people I get to hurt and let down. I sighed loudly, as I saw someone stir on the couch. Two people actually, Sora and Matt. They both rose to there feet both with a look of concern on their faces, especially Sora. "Hey how do ya feel?" Asked Matt, as he walked over to me.
The memories of what had actually happened to me several hours ago refreshed my mind. The rush of seeing the cliff and witnessing time stopping on the spot. Then As I stared down I experienced a backwards fall as I landed on the ground, stomach and face first, and then losing consciousness. "I don't know." I replied as I looked down at my fingers as I extended them.
"Tai, we need to talk. You need to stay away from Mimi. She's causing you more grief then you need!" Explained Sora as she walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
Less
I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway
"Tai you need to forget her. Listen, buddy, I know your holding back too much to handle. Don't. You can't do it on your own, Tai, you someone to help you out. Please don't do this man!" Pleaded Matt, as I walked back into my room.
Everything
you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm
about to break
I
need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the
edge
I'm about to ….
I stood as I heard feet scurry over to the living room, as I heard feint sobs. I looked from the brightness of the sun as I sunk down against the door. I looked around to think of something when another sleeping spell hit me. Damn, I passed out.
Break……
I woke up as my room remained total pitch black. I blink as the weariness of sleep encumbered my eyes. I looked up at my window as I noticed a feint glow. I sat up then stood, stretching my muscles as I felt a distant headache starting. I think I might have slept too much. I stared out as I barely caught glimpse of the Ferris wheel and other rides which almost stood as high as it. The lights on each ride shone brightly. I looked away as I sat back on my bed. My stomach growled as I felt the absurd sensation to throw up, but fought it off.
(Wish you were here by Incubus)
I dig my toes into the sand.
I exited my room, as I noticed Mr Ishida sitting on the couch. He had probably just got back home. He's sitting in…moms chair, when she could take a seat. I looked down at my feet as I walked towards the bathroom. "Hey Tai. Matt and Sora went to the fair and said they'll be back at nine to pick you up. They said something about there is no way out of it? I don't know." Explained Mr. Ishida as he turned to face me, staring at my sullen figure.
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
I looked over and saw both him and Kari stare at me. Kari was smiling brightly. I just don't know how she does it. How she able to fully pull of a shell of lies? I know she's hurting inside. Why won't she tell me or someone else? "Thanks Mr. Ishida." I weakly spoke as I disappeared in the bathroom.
I lean against the wind, pretend that i am weightless and in this moment i am …
After I placed the usual hair glue in my hair to get that chocolate 'messy' look, I walked off to my room, as I slipped on a pair of baggy Fubu cargo jeans, my System of a down black t-shirt and a button up plaid t-shirt which was black and white. I quickly slipped on a pair of ankle socks as I walked out to find Sora and Matt kissing in the hallway. The sight was rather disgusting, but at the same time, I'm glad they're together. Matt always treated her so perfect.
happy.
It's like one of those couples that 'had to be'. I quickly walk over, as they didn't notice me and I coughed, as they broke their lip lock, and both began blushing bright red. Kari and Matt's dad laughed aloud.
After A small drive, we arrived in time. The fair grounds close every night at mid night. It was only nine. "Tai we brought you because you need to chill out. You got to loosen up. Listen your grandmother had to leave because you were keeping her out, when she wanted to help you. You need to open up bud, we all will be forced to do things like dragging you here." Explained Matt as all three walked past the mall and into the fair's entrance line up, which wasn't that big.
"Tai, listen. You're scaring everyone, even Daisuke. You're never this quiet, this isolated, and this secretive. Tai, we want to help you, just need to let us do so, instead of throwing us aside." Explained sora as she took out her wallet, as we arrived to the ticket booth.
Sora asked for three bracelets, as she took out a few bills out of her wallet and handed them to the cashier. She handed one to each Matt and me, as we both slipped them on as we ventured fourth into the social maze.
(Mimi's POV)
I waited around for Izumi, as he just said he had to leave the fair. I've been here since seven, as we wanted to enjoy ourselves, especially after what happened in the afternoon. Hey seemed to be pretty angry. He kept advising me to stay away from him. I feel bad, because I know I'm the one that can help him, but I'm also the one that hurt him, my feelings for Tai are stronger then the ones for Izumi. But I don't want to hurt Izumi. I'm so confused.
I lay my head onto the sand.
I looked over towards the public washrooms; as I recognized the tall boy commonly known as Izumi, walk towards me with a smile. " I had too much soda's" Added Izumi as he tapped his stomach.
I smiled. The feelings for Tai left again. What is going on? "Your cute, Izumi!" I giggled as he smiled up at me.
Before too long as we started to walk off, an alarm began ringing loudly as Izumi looked at his watch. He sighed as he looked from his watch to me. "I'm sorry Mimi, but I got to go home for now. I have to get ready for the morning…I'm sorry." Pleaded Koushi, as he looked up at me with his sad eyes.
I smiled as he reached down and kissed his lips, as began to blush lightly. In seconds I broke the lip lock. "Don't worry, I'll forgive you this time!" I told him as I winked at him.
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it.
He smiled and then began running towards the exit. I then found a bench to sit on, as recognized two familiar faces. Matt and Sora. I smiled as I stood back up and walked over to them. "So, what are you two lovebirds doing here?" I asked as I managed to get my voice louder then the crowd ambience, as I got closer.
I finally made it over as I recognized Tai behind them. He was wearing his usual baggy cargo pants and black T. I felt the butterflies tremble in my stomach, as Matt taped my shoulder, and brought me aside. "Mimi, listen. I understand you can't make up your mind between Koushiro and Tai, but please just leave him alone. He's not dealing with his…" I grew furious at his statement as I cut him off.
I'm
counting ufo's.
I signal them with my lighter
and in this
moment i am happy.
"Who do you think you are, telling me who and who I can't talk to? If I want to talk to Tai, I'll talk to Tai." I stopped as I looked over at Tai.
, happy
His stare was blank, and absent minded. He had put up a shell that almost seemed practically impossible to break. I could see the cloud above his head making it impossible to think or act. "Listen, I know how angry you are and confused, but you need to realize that you only bring him more stress and drama. He's not himself. He won't be for a long time." Added Matt, as he stared into my eyes.
I nodded as I looked back at him. "Tai…" I whispered as I walked off, feeling the need to burst out crying.
I wish you were here
Seeing him like this just wasn't right. I walked around the fair grounds a few times, not passing the three once during that time period. I decided to head to the area where there was a medium length lake. One lone tree faced it. It was located on the other side of the mall. I sat down beside the tree as I noticed the black and white plaid button up shirt. It was Tai's. I looked around as I saw one lone figure kneeling near the shore of the lake. I approached the figure, as it became clear it was Tai, but something didn't seem right. He had…no shirt on. I didn't mean to think this at the time, but man, Tai has a nice bod! I felt my cheeks turn instant red. "Tai is everything alright?" I asked a little confused yet happy at the view of his bare chest.
I wish you were here
I stopped immediately, as I noticed the object held in his left hand. I knife. I began trembling at the sight. "Tai what are you doing…" It dawned to me as I realized what was actually happening.
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in.
I went to grab the object away as I successfully did. Tai didn't move as I looked down at his arms. Crimson stains told me he had just finished. I fell to my knees as I picked up his right arm to examine it. The light from the moon bouncing off of the lake was enough light to make anything visible. I saw the deep penetrated holes. I saw Tai's eyes almost fade away, as his skin was mostly whiter then the moonlight itself. I gasped, as I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. I felt my lungs burn as I almost forgot to breath. How could this of happened to, of all people, Tai?
Maybe I should hold with care,but my hands are busy in the air.
(Tai's POV)
I saw Mimi walk away from Matt, as I walked away from them. I looked to my right and I blink several times. I stare, as I can't believe what my eyes are exactly showing me. Mom? I look closer and realize it's only an illusion, as the person revealed was actually someone from last years mathematics course. The sight of seeing mom would be the ultimate day in my life. I continue to walk as I hear a heated argument going on between two carnival operators. They are fighting over another ride that was hidden behind some game booths. The both walked off as I noticed they left a tool bin lying wide open. I grew instantly curious as to what was in the tool bin; as I looked around too see no one. I ran as fast as I could and made it there safely.
I went through only finding modified versions of casual tools. I lifted up the top part and I saw something that caught my attention. It was a knife and brand new at that. It resembled a hunting knife at that, as I picked it up examining almost every angle. I looked at the blade, as I grew hypnotized as if it was showing me something.
Tai…you're not strong enough… What the hell? Is someone…talking to me?
Tai, you will fall… I felt my heart beat beginning to pound out of my chest as I feel to my knees. I quickly snapped out of it. I put the knife in between my boxers and pants, as the belt made the hilt sort of stick out. I made sure to move calmly and not to rush, as the blade was so sharp that when I nicked it, I have a large gash on my finger.
I ran to the lack beside the mall and carnival. I stopped at the tree as I felt the tears pour down my face, but when I went to touch my face, nothing. No tears, only a frown. I walked over to the lake as I peered into it to show me only I looked…empty. My stare, my emotions, all-blank. I fell to my knees as I took the knife out. Its laughter and various flashbacks of my past taunted me. I grew tired. I didn't want to live a lie, as I clenched the hilt, raised my left arm, and plunged it into my right arm.
I wish you were here
The pain was too much, but my body made no sound. I looked back down, as I saw two images, one of my blankly kneeling, and the one that was crying and clenching his right arm in pain. It was all too much. Tiredness was setting in.
I wish you were here
(Mimi's POV)
I grabbed a hold of him, as I placed two fingers on his wrist to feel a feinting pulse. Tai was in trouble. I picked him up as I felt my eyes sting and fill with tears. Tai's eyes keep opening and closing as I looked down at him. His eyes looked so blank and empty. His weight once more felt unbearable, but my adrenaline was pumping so fast, that it made me possible to do so. "Please, Tai, don't leave me here…" I cooed as I began to sob.
I took each step as if it was precious, and I walked by multiple people, as I knew I was going to attract attention. I was carrying a boy who was bleeding severely from his right arm, while wearing no T-shirt. His skin was extremely pale, which made the matter seem worse. I walked by as I saw Sora cover her mouth with both hands gasping from shock as I saw her eyes tremble. I looked past her as my anger filled my body as the words of Matt echoed through my head.
I stormed through the crowd, as Tai's dead weight seemed to be taking its toll as I found his car. I needed to drive him to the hospital. I set him down on the hood, as I reached into his pocket of his pants and pulled them out and opened the back seat door. I picked him up and gently laid him in the car. "Meems…" He quietly said, "You should have let me die…"
I gasped at the words and the thought of what he had just said. I couldn't. I felt my eyes beginning to blur even more. "No I can't Tai…I need you…" I cried out as I sniffed.
I quickly kissed him on his semi-cold forehead, as I shut the door and then entered the driver's seat. I started up the car as I began to drive away, as I felt my eyes swell in pain. Tai is dying and I can't help him. I tried to concentrate as I enter the main road off of the parking lot, as I heard the horrible sound of metal colliding, before I blanked out. Damn.
I wish you were…