HA! I DID IT AGAIN!
I found very quickly that –although I still love you, Padfoot- Moony is far easier to write from, and I looooooooved writing this chapter. You can definitely expect more from dear Remus's POV in the coming chapters.
Padfoot: (sniffles) I CAN JUST DIE NOW!
Moony: Victory. Word.
(Padfoot- goes and drowns himself in peanut butter)
Uh, right. Anyway, I was shocked at the number of reviews the last chapter got! I like, fell out of my chair. And thus my family got involved…Ahem. Right. So here's another WTDW chapter for you! Also, it's not as Christmas as I originally planned.
Thanks to all my reviewers: Angel-of-Vampires (ha, I thanked you first again)Nymphondratonks, lily, emma, IluvvRemus, Crayon-Lover, TheRavenclawNinja, hi, jagrfkjhduigadrs, Mary Gooby, Kira2667, justthegirl, Jess.91, Tang Si Ming-Yue, The Queen of Confusion, Cinderella912, soffmcsoff, books4evah, saragirl47, Vampire Scooby, PhantomoftheBasket, Karin-chan9743, IAMaMUDBLOOD, Marauderlovers, mrs. Ronald bilius Weasley, Shubie, asdef, Apostle1Apostle2, Paige, CSI3Lyra and:
Tyem Marodyor: Now that I'm updating again, we can continue our random conversations about Bird! YAY! Haha.
Anonymous Jane: I, OF COURSE, accepted your challenge. It's amazing, because it helps me figure out situations to write about, and thus, entire chapters form from five simple objects. THANK YOU.
Disclaimer: I own a hockey stick, a lacrosse stick, a field hockey stick, and a lot of t-shirts. I do not, unfortunately, own Harry Potter. Damn.
Sirius: AND YOU DON'T OWN ME, EITHER! YOU CAN'T BELITTLE ME, AND GIVE ME LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE! MUAHAHAHA!
Actually, you'll find I can do that.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
"Hey, Moony! Hey, hey, hey! No, seriously, look this time! Me and James have something REALLY important to show you! No! No, seriously! LOOK UP! Hey! Hey you! Hey you with the book! Moony!"
"WHAT?"
I finally threw my book upwards into the air with a mighty force, breathing heavily, and turned to glare at James and Sirius.
They had identical, matching grins on and were both sporting Bertie Bott's beans all over their faces.
"Get it? We're pimply! Ha, do you get it?" Sirius guffawed, high fiving Prongs beside him.
Idiots. Pure imbeciles.
"Very funny, mates," I answered wearily, sliding off my seat to collect my book. "Almost as funny as when you were the Cookie Monster TWO MINUTES AGO!"
Prongs gaped at me in shock. A large green jellybean on the tip of his nose fell off with a squelching noise.
"Why are you so miserable?" he demanded, as Padfoot and Wormtail slowly began to pick the jellybeans off his face and eat them. "It's Christmas Break! We have two weeks of freedom and parties lined up! AND we get presents," he added smugly.
I rolled my eyes.
"You and Sirius get presents. Now, excuse me, I must keep my brain from rotting out of my skull."
Peter gave a high-pitched, nervous laugh and stared at me in terror.
"No, Pete, your brain is not going to rot out if you only read comic books," I amended, slumping back across my seat, careful not to sit on Lily's hair. She was passed out next to me, her hair cascading everywhere and getting on everything.
Girls.
"What are you reading, anyway?" James asked curiously, his watch glinting on his wrist as fields and mountains whizzed past. Sirius spotted it and glowed with pride at his superior shopping abilities.
"A Midsummer's Night Dream," I admitted grudgingly, reddening under Sirius's smirk.
"MY present, of course," he added airily.
Prongs rolled his eyes and elbowed Padfoot in the gut, annoyed.
"Yes, you have reminded us at every opportune moment," he growled, hair standing on end.
He looked rather like an electrocuted Newfoundland.
Sirius snickered.
"Your hair looks funny, mate."
"It's all the static electricity in this train!" Prongs wailed, flailing about in panic and attempting to flatten his hair.
"I'm sure it is, James," Wormtail said kindly, looking much like a deformed Chihuahua with his straight, blonde hair.
We were all saved from Prongs possibly strangling Peter with the arrival of the Trolley Woman, or Gladys, as Padfoot had named her.
"Anything off the trolley, dears?"
Sirius aimed his most charming smile at her.
"What you really mean is, will I have anything else to eat for my fat self after you order?" Sirius corrected.
I aimed my most painful kick at his stomach.
"Three of everything, I believe, is what he meant," I gasped, as Sirius had grabbed my foot and was now twisting it in an attempt to drop me.
Trolley Lady stared at us uncertainly, but by then Peter had started throwing shoes and the like at us, and James was muttering to himself in embarrassment.
"I do apologize for them, and please, three of everything. We have a rather long trip, I'm afraid," Lily smiled, straightening up off of the plushy seat.
She, too, looked electrocuted from all the static in the air.
Sirius scowled and attempted to chuck his shoe at her, which, unfortunately, was still on his foot, and just succeeded in toppling me to the ground and on top of a pile of Exploding Snap.
"OW! OW! OW!" I howled, scrambling to my feet and desperately beating off the tiny flames.
"Stop, drop, and roll!" Peter squeaked, from where he was hiding behind James.
"Get the bloody hell out of there!" James bellowed, clearly frightened to find himself sitting on Wormtail.
I had started stopping, dropping, and rolling, but only succeeded on trampling over more cards.
"HELP ME! I'M DYING!" I shrieked, clawing at the windowsill in a last crusade to jump out the window and escape the maniacs.
Padfoot, however, did not see this as an opportunity to let me free. No, instead, he leapt terrifically off his own train seat and plummeted on to me.
"HANG ON, MOONY! I'M COMING!" Sirius called, giving a war cry.
"No, no, no, no—"
He landed like a stack of bricks on top of me.
And promptly lit on fire.
"OW! OW! What the bloody hell did I just do that for?" Sirius moaned, shaking me roughly.
There's friendship, for you.
This would have continued for at least another half hour, but Lily Evans arrived from where we didn't even know she left, hauling a large, red tank with a long nuzzle.
"Oh, Merlin."
She sprayed us down calmly, walking around us in a small circle, making sure not to miss.
No. She sprayed everything. Her aim leaves something to be desired.
"It's up my nose!" I cried nasally, snorting and snuffling.
"MY EYE!" James howled from his seat, removing his glasses and hopping in place.
"I was nice and safe behind Prongs," Peter said happily.
"WILL YOU GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF THERE?"
"Well, boys," Lily said matter-of-factly, "I think we learned our lesson."
We all stared at her like she was crazy.
"Hey, where's Gladys?" Sirius asked in disappointment, eyeing around the tiny room. The trolley lay abandoned against the wall.
"She said we could have it," Prongs recalled, reaching over and helping himself to a platter of Cauldron Cakes. "Well, done, Pads."
Sirius stood up and bowed.
"I did my best," he admonished, snatching a Pumpkin Pasty and tearing the packaging off with his teeth. "It was all Moony, really."
I hate people, sometimes.
I crawled onto my seat, and promptly curled up in exhaustion.
"Where's Wormtail?" Prongs asked suspiciously, looking around for him.
"Right here," he answered glumly from the floor. He had fallen down in the fray after leaving his safe haven behind James.
James looked relieved and sat down with a thump.
"How did you arrange this, anyway?" Lily asked, helping herself to a handful of Drooble's. "The train ride, I mean. Everyone else had to leave two weeks ago."
James grinned wickedly, his hair crackling.
"Let's just say the Dorea and Charlus Potter International Library will be opening very soon in twenty-seven different countries."
"Good old Dad will get us anything," Sirius sighed cheerily, rubbing his stomach like a puppy and helping himself to another cookie.
"Don't you ever get full?" I sighed in irritation.
Sirius looked affronted.
"I'm a growing boy, Remus! I need nourishment!"
Dear Merlin, this is going to be a long two weeks.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
When the train finally deposited us an hour later in front of a long, winding road, I had to admit I was a little frightened. If James was anything to go by, I wasn't so sure I wanted to meet his relatives. Especially adult ones.
"Are you monologue-ing in your head again, mate?" James sighed, shaking his head, which had notably deflated since leaving the static electricity.
"No," I answered defensively and convincingly.
"He means yes, really," Sirius stage whispered.
"Don't be mean!" Lily admonished, sitting primly on her suitcase.
Sirius growled at her and began to scribble madly on his hand.
"What are you writing?" I asked curiously, leaning forward to snatch his hand.
"Nothing!" he squeaked in a high-pitched voice, pocketing his hand swiftly. "I'm not writing 'die, Evans, die' on my hand one hundred and twenty-one times, or anything," he added in a strangled voice.
We all stared at him uncertainly, but I became rather distracted as the ground began to tremble and shake underneath us. Lily screamed. Peter cowered behind James. I felt my Vertigo kick in. Sirius and James played patty cake, clearly bored and used to whatever was happening.
The ground swirled underneath us, and without warning we popped out of the air and in front of an enormous manor house. Sirius sighed happily, and promptly began to skip towards the massive structure, failing to notice Lily, Peter, and I prostrate in the muddy road.
James laughed loudly and ran after his best friend, also leaving us stunned and confused on the ground.
"It's my home, you know!" he bellowed, catching Sirius by his elbow and pulling him into a headlock. "You have your own!"
Even in a stranglehold with his heavily mussed hair in his face, he managed to snort.
"Yeah, my home's great! At least your parental units don't buy you illegal dark magical creatures as presents and expect you to actually hatch it!"
"Man, you got to get over that," Prongs stated dramatically, and then proceeded to drag Padfoot, in a headlock, towards the great stone stairs of Potter Manor.
Leaving Peter, Lily, and I with their suitcases in the dirt.
As if reading my mind, James turned to look at us, nearly sending Padfoot tumbling down the stairs and to his untimely death.
"Leave the suitcases!" he called, now struggling against Sirius's parade of swears and scratches. "The house-elves will get them!"
Slowly, I rose to my feet, extending a hand down to help Lily up, as well.
"Thanks, mate," Wormtail sighed, snatching my hand and heaving himself to his feet.
I stared at him and shoved him back down on the ground.
"Not you!" I snapped. "Lily!"
She beamed gratefully and stumbled to her feet, clearly in as much awe as Potter Manor as I was.
"It's so pretty," she murmured, and I couldn't help but agree.
We started up the large stairs, marveling over the age and splendor of James's home.
"Hey!" squeaked Peter, still on the ground. "I need help! Remus! Can you get me out of the rosebushes?"
Sometimes, you can just have too much of Wormtail.
I pretended to be deaf.
"Sirius seems pretty happy to be here," I commented.
As if on cue, Sirius shrieked, "MUM! I'VE MISSED YOU!"
Lily laughed lightly.
"Well, I guess Sirius hasn't had such a great family. I guess I can't really relate to that, but I have a friend who can."
"Who?" I asked immediately. Having grown up with four aunts and roomed with my fellow Marauders, I had become a gossiper.
"You know him. But I know Se- I mean my friend, isn't going to be very happy when he finds I spent Christmas here," she stammered, reddening visibly. "Which reminds me, isn't it strange that there's no snow anywhere here, and it's positively a blizzard in the rest of England?"
"It's enchanted," a deep voice answered from behind us, causing Lily to let out a soft scream and for me to jump about a foot. "So we can enjoy the grounds all year round, of course."
A tall, slender man with bright, blue eyes and messy black hair beginning to gray at the temples regarded us with amusement, his skinny face pulled into a smile.
"You must be James's friends," he greeted, cordially bowing, making Lily giggle. "I'm Charlus, James's father."
"DAD!"
Sirius appeared out of nowhere like a bolt of lightning and threw himself on Mr. Potter like an overeager child.
Mr. Potter let out a rumbling laugh and pulled Sirius into a hug.
"I'm also, apparently, Sirius's father, now too," he added.
Sirius squirmed in his arms and stuck his tongue out at him.
"I've told you," he retorted childishly. "I'm a Potter born into a Black family, and eventually, you're just going to have to adopt me."
"Merlin knows that day will hopefully always remain in the future," I grinned, earning a scowl from Sirius-the-child. "I'm Remus Lupin, by the way."
Mr. Potter nodded gravely, releasing Sirius to shake my hand. "I know your father. Excellent man, really. And your mother's quite darling."
I winced inwardly at the mention of my father. My father, who can't even look me in the eye, who caused my- well, you know.
"I'm Lily Evans," Lily, too, extended our hand.
"Pleasure!" Mr. Potter enthused, looking quite cheerful in his bright red dress robes.
"Charlus!"
James, too, rounded the corner like a madman and hugged his father.
Mr. Potter's face visibly lit up at the sight of his raven-haired son.
"James, m'boy! I heard Sirius is part of the family now!"
Even with his face pressed into his father's collar I knew he was rolling his eyes.
"He's always been part of the family, Charlus."
James grinned over at Lily and me.
"I see you've met Evans and Moony," he cackled wickedly, sharing a look with Padfoot.
"Moony?" Mr. Potter questioned.
But before I could get into the whole technical lingo of our nicknames, a tall, graceful woman dressed in flowing ivy stepped from around the corner, her blonde hair pulled back regally into a bun.
"Charlus? Are you home?"
"MUM!" Sirius shrieked, running over to hug her again. "I've missed you!"
"Yes, five minutes without me can do that to people," she responded dryly, ruffling Padfoot's hair.
"Dorea, I would like you to meet Remus, Lily, and—wait, where's Wormtail?" James demanded.
"Wormtail?" Mr. Potter repeated in much the same manner as his earlier question.
"Uh, Peter, our other friend," Prongs amended quickly. "Where?"
"Uh, we kinda left him out with the suitcases," I answered, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment.
Mrs. Potter seemed unperturbed.
"The house elves most likely took him in with the luggage, then," she said serenely, brushing invisible lint off her dress. "They'll finish scanning him and realize he's not luggage within the hour."
Right.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
"So, my dears, how is Hogwarts?" Mrs. Potter asked energetically, bouncing around the parlor like an over-excited puppy. "Do you like it? How are your classes? Are they hard? Do use the Cloak, darling? Sirius, are you eating enough? You look rather skinny. Remus, you're mother is always fretting about you. Are you quite liking the library? She said you would. Do you like Minerva? She makes such a great Head of House, though I always hoped for a Ravenclaw, of course. So?"
I feared she was going to knock something over, as she swung from side-to-side, pacing much like James.
"Dorea!" James laughed. "Let's actually talk and not get quizzed."
"Yes, Mum," Sirius added petulantly from across the room from a pile of cushions. "Don't give yourself a heart attack."
I couldn't help but think how adorable Sirius and James were with their parents, James calling his actual parents their first names, and Sirius calling them Mum and Dad, as if they were his own.
Mrs. Potter smiled radiantly, but before she could hammer us some more, Peter burst in, looking rather confused and dizzy.
"Wormtail!" James greeted. "How was the conveyer belt?"
"Luggage is done," Peter slurred out. "Pretty colors, Prongs."
And he slumped to the floor.
"Prongs?" Mr. Potter questioned much in the same way as his other two yet to be answered questions.
"Poor child," Mrs. Potter said sympathetically, bending down to feel Peter's temperature. "Some can get very dizzy on the conveyer belt."
Or he just found the firewhiskey. Either one works.
"Why don't we unpack?" I suggested hastily, grabbing Peter by his arm and dragging him to his feet. "Padfoot, can you show us where the rooms are?"
"Padfoot?" Mr. Potter questioned once more, eyebrows raised.
"Long story."
"One that will be told, James," Mr. Potter said sternly.
"Right, right, Charlus, once we get situated," James said absent-mindedly, hurrying towards the parlor doors.
Merlin knows what he's thinking.
"James, you and Sirius are in the French Riviera suite!" Mrs. Potter called. "And tell Remus and Peter they're in the Indonesian Tea suite! Lily, darling, you'll have to make due with the Austrian Crystal suite!"
Make due? Where am I?
I deposited Peter in the room James indicated, hardly glancing about lest I faint.
Wormtail let out a moan, and, as I suspected, a half-empty bottle of firewhiskey tumbled out of his jeans.
"Sleep it off, little alcoholic," I whispered, petting his head.
I returned to the hallway just in time to hear Lily say, "James? Can you help me set up my things?"
Sirius barked angrily and glared at her, but James smiled brightly.
"Sure, Evans—I mean Lily. Hang on."
Padfoot's eyes sparked with fury, and I knew what I had to do.
"Actually, Prongs, why don't you and Pads unpack? Pete needs to sleep it off, and I don't want to disturb him. I'll help Lily set up."
James's face fell.
"Right. Good idea, Moons."
I snatched Lily's elbow and steered her into the Crystal suite, barely marveling over the walls of crystals glittering above, and the fact that the entire floor was enchanted to look like water.
"Look, Lily, we need to talk," I said abruptly, sitting on her massive couch in the parlor of the suite.
She looked stunned- whether at the room or me- and slowly started towards me.
"What's bothering you, Remus?" she asked carefully.
"Look, Lily, I know you like James. But here's the thing: Sirius loves James. He's never, ever betrayed him, and never would. He's loyal, and he always wants James around. And you ruin his ideal world."
Lily's lip jutted out immediately and her green eyes narrowed.
"So? Black can deal. It's not like I'm going to move to a different continent with him."
I sighed and ran my fingers heavily through my hair, gesturing for her to sit next to me.
"I assure you if you even tried to do that, Lily, Sirius would be hiding in your trunks ready to strangle you at the first available moment."
"What are you trying to say?" Evans demanded fiercely.
"That if James has to choose between you and Sirius, ten times out of ten, he will choose Sirius. Just keep that in mind."
I said it bluntly, forcefully, and I felt terrible, but I knew it was necessary.
"I didn't know it was that obvious," Lily said softly, looking away.
"Well, Peter lives on the moon and is addicted to alcohol, so he doesn't notice anything. James is James, and is thus oblivious to the universe. But Sirius knows, and Sirius won't be afraid to do anything to turn James and everyone else against you. Or trick James into doing something stupid. Or risk James's anger to get rid of you. Or—"
"I get it."
She looked embarrassed and thoughtful.
"I guess I did kind of rush into this whole "friendship" thing fast. One minute I totally hated your guts and the next I'm spending Christmas break at Potter Manor. Maybe I should just sort of, I don't know, back off. He can be really arrogant sometimes."
I had the terrible feeling I had just started a very bad thing that would last for years.
"But, you know, he's still really cool," I said desperately, clutching at strings.
"And you know what, you guys did almost kill me," she muttered, frowning. "I mean, what's wrong with me?"
Damn.
"But he's still really great!" I shouted hysterically.
Evans eyed me like I was insane.
"Yeah, I guess. But I swear to Merlin, Mrs. Potter must have been a cheerleader or something, she's just so peppy."
"A cheerleader? Like with pom poms?"
Without warning, the doors to the suite burst open with an audible bang and Mrs. Potter stood there, beaming.
"Who needs pom poms? Remus? Do you need pom poms?" She was bubbling with excitement.
"No, Mrs. Potter, I'm fine, really," I began hastily, jumping off the couch.
But I was too late. She had already whisked a pair out of thin air, her wand tucked neatly in her sleeve. She threw them at me.
"Go GRYFFINDOR!"
Of course the pom poms would be red and gold.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
I rounded the corner from Lily's suite to find Sirius crouched on the top stair, clinging to the railing and eavesdropping.
"Mate?" I whispered coming nearer.
He grinned up at me and pressed his fingers to his lips. Without warning, he snatched my leg and pulled me face first on the carpet next to him.
"James is explaining our nicknames to our parents," he said wickedly.
I widened my eyes in horror.
"No!"
The sounds of James desperately lying bubbled up the stairwell.
"And the first time we saw Remus, the moon was out, so we, uh, named him Moony, and Padfoot because the…um, the- the soles of his feet are so thick they look like pads!"
Utter silence.
"And Wormtail?" Mr. Potter pressed.
James sounded irritated now.
"We thought he had a tail the first time we saw him, because he was lying really weird on his bed," he snapped.
Sirius nodded approval.
"That one was pretty good compared to the other two. He might get out of this alive," Padfoot commented.
"What about Prongs, dear? Why do they call you Prongs?" Mrs. Potter's lofty voice floated up the steps.
Damn. There's no way out of this one.
"Well, uh, uh, um," James began creatively, "My favorite animal is a stag, so they, uh, call me Prongs! Ha, ha, ha, ha, uh, can I leave now?"
Padfoot turned to glare at me.
"How's Evans?" he spat.
"Is that rhetorical?" I questioned, scratching my nose.
Sirius stared at me. Big words aren't exactly his forte.
"Uh, good?"
He smiled evilly.
"For now," he said darkly, rubbing his hands together. "I'll get rid of little Prissy very soon."
Damn psychotic friends will get you every time.
"What are you going to do, Sirius?" I said sharply.
"Oh nothing," he said innocently. "I don't have a secret plan or anything. Not that I'd tell you about it anyway. Not that I have one in my room or anything. So don't look there," he added unconvincingly. "Because, uh, I have magical termites. They're the size of a hippogriff. And they're vicious. So don't go in there."
I raised my eyebrows and continued to stare at him.
"OY! SIRIUS! COME OPEN YOUR PRESENTS!"
Padfoot leapt to his feet and bounded down the stairs.
"Duty calls!"
Damn.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
"Moony, why are we breaking into James and Sirius's room?" Peter asked me groggily, swaying on his feet.
"I told you not to ask questions!" I snapped, dragging my rope behind me.
"Why do you have a rope?"
"In case we have to escape out a window, Wormtail."
"Oh. I guess that makes sense, sort of."
I rolled my eyes and opened the door quietly into the French suite. All the lights were off. Slowly, I stepped into the parlor, prepared to pepper spray anything that moved.
"Mate? There's no one in here," Peter whispered from behind me.
Stupid drunk. He ruins all my James Bond moments.
I stared around the parlor. The suite was enormous, stretching throughout the manor. It would be impossible to find Sirius's room on our own.
"Any idea where it is, Petey?"
"Third door on the right."
Huh?
I whirled around to stare at Peter, but he was staring at a 'YOU ARE HERE' map posted on the wall.
Well then.
I crept down the hallway and towards Sirius's room. I reached the doorknob.
"You ready?" I whispered dramatically to Peter.
He groaned and covered his ears.
I'll take that as a yes.
I swung the door open bravely and charged into the room, gagging on the scent of cologne and chocolate. I stumbled. NO! DEFEAT!
Peter strolled in, quite hung over and slightly drunk, and gazed about the bedroom, obviously confused.
"How'd I get here?" he panicked. "Moony? Why are we here?"
"We're looking for evidence, Wormtail," I sighed. "Just look around for anything suspicious."
"Oh. Well, that looks pretty suspicious to me."
I whirled around to find Peter pointing at a hair blow dryer. A pink one.
Torture device?!
"I don't think that's his," I said quickly, staring at it in disgust.
"It has his initials on it," Peter insisted.
"You're drunk!" I bellowed, deranged. "Just keep looking."
"Okay. I'm drunk. But I'm not hallucinating. What's this?"
Wormtail chucked a book at me. Bad enough that Padfoot was reading. But this?
I mouthed wordlessly down at the cover before finally choking out, "Gone with the Wind? He's reading 'Gone With the Wind'?"
Peter shrugged.
"Maybe he's trying to get in touch with his feminine side so he can better understand Lily."
Merlin, I hope so.
"Sirius may have something he will want to admit to us in coming years."
"Are you psychic?"
"No, Wormtail. I can just put two and two together."
"But, there are only two things here. So you'd only GET two. And besides, I can add two and two together. It's not that hard. It's FOUR."
"Peter?"
"Yep?"
"Unless you want me to hit you very hard and shake what little common sense you have left out the window, I'd shut up."
Wormtail seemed to understand that.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
I hate parties. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm rather nonsocial.
"Boys! Do you have your dress robes on?" Mrs. Potter sang through the door.
Which was why the coming hours were going to be a nightmare.
James strutted out of his bathroom, resplendent in blue silk robes sewn with glittering sapphires.
"Dorea! Must you always get me robes in the Ravenclaw colors?" he howled through the double doors of the French suite.
There was some muffled coughing and then a faint "yes."
I myself had chocolate velvet robes on, and was currently staring in shock at the price tag.
"Who pays 200 galleons on someone she just met?" I whispered in horror.
"At least yours aren't bright green," Wormtail answered glumly, fidgeting in his tight-fitting bottle-green robes.
"Sirius?" James wandered over and pounded on the closet door. "We got to go, mate! Come out!"
"…No."
"Why not?" James stamped his foot in irritation.
"I look like a choir boy."
I choked on air.
"No you don't," Prongs began soothingly, smacking me off the head with one hand. "You look very handsome. Now come out."
There was much shuffling and harrumphs, and finally, Padfoot edged out of the closet.
We stared at him in united silence.
"Bloody hell, you do look like a choir boy," James said, flabbergasted, and Sirius wailed.
"They're not that bad, Pads," I tried. "I want a pair just like them, really."
Mrs. Potter bustled through the door, gleaming in a sleek blue gown, egg-sized sapphires woven into her hair.
"Who needs choir robes?" she said eagerly. "Remus? Do you need choir robes?"
Damn.
"Yeah," Sirius began evilly. "He wanted to match me!" His black choir robes with the white scoop neck stared at me from the future. Dear God, save me.
I was like a deer in the headlights. No pun intended.
"Mrs. Potter, no! I love mine!" I moaned, clutching at my robes desperately in self-defense.
She raised her wand suspiciously in the air, her hazel eyes gleaming like her maniac son's.
"Are you sure?" she asked again.
"Utterly, perfectly, indescribably sure!" I assured.
Sirius pouted and aimed a kick at my leg.
"Right," she said briskly, pocketing her wand. "Lily's changing into her own robes next door, so let's go over the schedule once more. The guests arrive, and what do you do, dear?"
Prongs groaned.
"I show them the coatroom and welcome them."
"And Sirius?"
"I don't talk and just smile prettily," he answered happily.
"Good! Now, then we head on to appetizers and socializing. Talk and hang out. We move onto the main course. Sirius, what do you do?"
"Oh, you know," he sighed modestly. "I smile prettily and don't say a word."
"It's the same for every party," James breathed to me. "That's always his job."
"And James?"
"I beat myself over the head with the nearest croquet and sing the Weird Sisters, on top of the table," Prongs snapped. "I know what to do, I'm not going to tell Dad's clients anything they don't want to hear."
Mrs. Potter's face fell.
"Right," she choked out, "I'll be waiting downstairs, then."
It was my turn to smack James on the back of the head.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
"Hey Moony," Sirius whispered, flicking bits of shrimp at me, "Do you think they'd notice if we all disappeared?"
"Probably not," I answered, watching James waltz around the dining room, taking coats and shaking hands, his deranged, near-hysterics smile on.
"Well, I think we should leave," he complained, now balancing a house-elves tray of oeuvres on his head. The poor thing was running around his feet attempting to get it back. "It's so boring, and I don't want to have dinner."
Did Padfoot just say NO to a free meal?
"Alright then," I sighed, "Where to, Pads? And how do you plan on getting James free?"
Sirius straightened abruptly and sent the platter flying, the house-elf stampeding after it.
"Like this."
He grinned wickedly, grabbed a flute of champagne, and lightly skipped forward.
"Hey Prongs," he said merrily, and then dumped the champagne all over James and his extremely expensive dress robes.
Prongs bellowed in surprise, but Sirius shouted even louder to the stunned guests, "Oops! Slipped, I guess! I'll just bring him out back and hose him down."
Padfoot steered James towards the servant entrance full-speed, sending him flying down the passageway. Reluctantly, Peter and I followed suit.
We all stumbled out into one of the Potter's numerous gardens, and Padfoot quickly dived behind the bushes, for 'cover'.
Or just because he likes diving and causing issues. Take your pick.
"What the bloody hell was that?" James fumed, now not only sticky but covered in dirt. "They're going to kill us!"
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. We're out of the party and away from Priss—uh, we're out of the party. Peter, did you bring the firewhiskey like I told you?"
Wormtail produced a large bottle of the alcohol from inside his robes.
No wonder they were so tight.
James snatched the bottle first and took a long sip, before chucking it at Padfoot, who caught it, grinning.
"Come on," James commanded, struggling to his feet. "I'll show you the grounds."
The four Marauders stumbled out of the bushes and onto one of the terraces, overlooking much of the Potter grounds.
"Look," Sirius chuckled evilly, "A croquet stick!"
And he and James loudly began to sing the Weird Sisters.
Or Billy Idol.
I'm not sure which, honestly.
"Right," Prongs managed, spinning out in front of us like a sticky, covered-in-dirt tour-guide, "And here is where my great-uncle Alfred once assassinated the Minister of Magic for telling him his rosebushes looked rather small!"
"Mate, your family had some serious anger management problems, seeing as your grandfather dueled another Minister to the death for a broken teacup, your great-great aunt poisoned an entire ball for rude behavior, and your cousin slapped an innocent bystander for laughing when his voice cracked!"
"Sirius, that was you."
"It doesn't change the fact that Adam slapped me!"
James rolled his eyes and stumbled forward, leading us onto the Quiditch field.
Without warning, light flooded from the manor doors, spilling on everything in sight.
"James! Sirius!" Mrs. Potter cried from the entry.
Damn.
James took off full speed for the dense forest bordering the grounds, weaving in and out of the trees like a pro. Sirius followed suit immediately, and I had no choice but to follow, clutching the bottle of illegal substances.
The branches cut at my face, and I heard yelps of pain from all around, but dark places do not bother me. Finally, I stumbled out into an open clearing, where Padfoot and Prongs were attempting to start a fire.
"Whuh?" I managed, staring down at the pair of them.
They beamed up at me.
"We're having a ceremony!" James piped up.
Of course. Since that's the most natural thing to decide to do after sprinting through godforsaken woods.
Peter staggered out of the underbrush, gagging.
"I need a drink," he sighed, snatching the bottle and swigging deeply.
Told you he was an alcoholic.
James and Sirius seemed to have given up on the fire, and were instead pretending the pile of branches were lit.
"Everyone take a seat!" James cried, pushing his glasses up and standing before us impressively. It was slightly ruined by the spit running down his chin.
Sirius snickered, but slumped on the ground on one side of the 'fire', Peter opposite him, me to his left. Prongs paced across from me, obviously trying to think of something to say.
"Friends! We are the Marauders Reborn! We have pledged our friendship with secrets- but for how long? Will we know this friendship will last for life?"
He grew still. Then irritated.
"WELL?"
Sirius rolled onto his side, basking in the warmth of the pile of branches. "Of course, mate. We'll be brothers for life."
I nodded my agreement, and James continued his pacing.
"This is a ceremony of friendship, eternal friendship. We will be brothers for life, after this. Sirius Black!"
Padfoot leapt to his feet and clasped hands with Prongs.
"Do you swear to be a brother for life?" James demanded, slightly tipsy.
Sirius giggled, clearly intoxicated.
"Yeah man!" he slurred. "Bros before hoes, dude!"
Prongs embraced him and almost knocked them both over.
"Then jump over the fire! Then you will be a brother for life!" he commanded, pointing at the pile of damp branches. Sirius's eyes went huge with fright.
"I don't think I can make it," he whispered.
James said giddily, "Your brothers will save you, mate! Now!"
Sirius leapt terrifically over the 'fire' and howled with glee.
"Peter Pettigrew!" James commanded.
Slowly, Wormtail ambled over, tripping and hiccupping the whole way, the bottle still in his grasp. Prongs saw it and practically shoved Pete down to grab it.
"Brothers share, Peter," Prongs commented sheepishly, throwing back whiskey like the sky was falling. "Now, do you swear to be brothers for life?"
"Yes," Peter said quite cheerfully.
Prongs pulled him into a drunken hug. "Now, jump over the fire!"
Wormtail took a running leap and landed sprawled drunkenly on the forest floor, clearly thrilled with himself. And then he promptly passed out.
"Remus Lupin!" James slurred, staggering side to side with the bottle.
I rose to my feet and approached him, not realizing until then how drunk I myself was.
"Yes, your sire," I giggled, bouncing around.
James gave me a weird look, even smashed, and said, "Do you swear to be brothers for life, Moony?"
"Of course," I babbled, swaying on my feet. Prongs pulled me into a hug.
"Now jump over the fire!"
I turned to face at the fire, and I leapt over it, practically landing on top of Padfoot, who was giggling to himself and watching a bug.
"I shall name you Squishy, and you shall be mine," he muttered gleefully, poking the terrified beetle.
"Well, we are brothers for life now!" James managed, collapsing on the ground. Sirius seemed to remember him.
"You guys want to see something funny?" he gasped, leaping to his feet.
"What?" Peter rolled onto his side to stare at Padfoot.
"This was James's strip dance for the elves!" he howled gleefully.
Dear Merlin. Even drunk I know I don't want to see this.
"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha!" Sirius bellowed, dancing around the clearing drunkenly.
Prongs snatched a nearby branch and sent it flying at Sirius, who got hit in the small of the back and promptly collapsed.
"The branch of brotherhood has silenced you!" James shouted hysterically, rising to his feet. "Now, off to the Manor!"
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
I'm not sure how, but somehow I managed to stumble all the way to the Manor, up the stairs, and into my suite. I was too tired to do anything other than smack my retainer on and fall onto the nearest couch, exhausted.
"Squeak."
I moaned.
"Squeak. Squeak."
"Sorry, Wormy," I groaned, struggling to get off him. "I didn't see you there."
Peter grumbled murderously and stumbled off into the dark suite.
Without warning, the doors flew open, and I sat up straight, terrified.
"I didn't do it!" I shouted hysterically.
"Yes he did! I saw him!" Peter answered quickly from the dark.
"Chillax, both of yous," Sirius retorted, coming towards me, James on his heels. "Moony, man, we have a plan for tomorrow."
"What?" I snapped, barely able to talk around my retainer.
James squinted at me.
"What's in your mouth, mate?"
I reddened. My head was just starting to hurt.
"A retainer," I answered.
They shrieked with laughter, falling sideways and rolling around.
"WHAT? You haven't had braces before?"
"No," James snickered, "Because we were born into aristocratic families of high cheekbones and perfect teeth, and thus had no need for Muggle contraptions."
Bloody stupid wizard people.
I turned on my side to ignore them, but Padfoot fell on top of me.
"Anyway, we're going to spend all of tomorrow in the library, mate!"
I gazed up at him in shock.
"Why?" I demanded. That was my safe-haven. They'd probably try to light in on fire.
"Because," Sirius slurred cheerily, "James and I have a bloody brilliant idea for a map of Hogwarts! Be up early, Moons! Sleep tight, Worms!"
And he and Prongs stumbled out of my suite, closing the door.
Ah, peace.
"JAMES! Where did you go all night? I was at the party by myself!"
"Hey, Lily! What's crack-a-lackin?"
Her screams were audible through the door.
"YOU DITCHED ME, POTTER! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
"MY PROBLEM IS YOU YELLING AT ME!" James retorted, before adding as an afterthought, "And ponies. I don't like ponies."
Their screams continued, growing louder, while Sirius giggled like he had just achieved his life goal.
"Merry Christmas!" he laughed.
I sighed heavily, and shook my head.
"Those two are destined for each other, but because of that conversation I had with her, it's going to take them a VERY long time."
I yawned.
"My bad, my bad."
I fell asleep before I could see that snow had started to fall on the enchanted Potter Manor.
MWPPMWPPMWPPMWPP
Like it? Hate it? Love it? Adore it? Get the point yet?
The more reviews I get the faster I update, so review!
I must admit, I love when people tell me their favorite quotes Wow! That was my longest chapter yet! SCORE!
AND IT'S TIME FOR A HP/ O.C. MATCHUP! (Just go along with it)
Who would win in a fight? (NO MAGIC)
Ginny vs. Summer
Ron vs. Seth
Sandy vs. Dumbledore
Ryan vs. Harry
Marissa vs. Hermione
-danielle♣♠