I told myself so long ago that I couldn't trust anyone. The people I cared about, people I thought I loved, they lied to me, they betrayed me, and in the end they left me with nothing but sorrow. That's right, I couldn't trust anyone, not if I didn't want to feel that pain again. I couldn't let any of them close to me; I had to keep pushing them away.
So why couldn't I push her away? The harder I tried, the closer she would get. Why couldn't she just leave me alone?
"Good morning, Erio. How are you?"
Fate. That was her name. She said she was just like me, that we could share our sadness with each other. She said she wanted to understand me.
"The doctors said you weren't causing as much trouble lately."
Was she trying to act like a mother? Pretending to care for me so I'd cooperate, string me along so I'd follow her, and then toss me aside like everyone else did. No one could really care for me, I was fake, just a delusional dream. I was worthless, I was nothing.
She said I wasn't nothing.
"You won't have to stay here, once the treatment's all done."
I stared at her with my mouth sealed shut, and she just looked back at me with that stupid look on her face, that calm smile that I couldn't break no matter what I did. What was it that she was trying to do? What was it that she wanted from me? I had to know.
"Why…"
She just watched me, waiting for me to continue.
"Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep coming back here?!"
She stayed silent the whole time, concern in her eyes. That was the worst part, when it looked like she really did care.
"What happens when you're done?! You'll just leave me, like EVERYONE ELSE!!"
My hands were crackling as that uncontrolled anger spilled out again. I wanted to lash out at something, at anything, just to hide my pain behind all that rage. I didn't care who I hurt, just as long as it wasn't me that was hurting.
But she stopped me. I felt those gentle hands on mine, enveloping them warmly. Just like she'd done the last time I'd lashed out at her.
"It's not official yet, but I want to adopt you."
What? What did that…what could she…? Did she really mean…?
"My mother will be your legal guardian, since I'm not old enough yet, but I still want to look after you."
I felt the tears before I even realized I was crying, and soon I was wailing out loud, harder than I could ever remember. This person I couldn't push away, what was it about her? Because of her I'd broken every promise to myself, I'd let her close, and she'd slowly worked herself deep inside. This weakness I was showing her now, I had never wanted anyone to ever see it again, but for some reason I didn't feel bad about it.
That's right, she said she'd help me find happiness. Was this why I'd slowly opened my heart to her? A chance at the life I thought I'd lost, and all I had to do was take her hand.
The loneliness I never understood. The dream I thought I would never feel again. This is my past. This is my truth. I am Erio Mondial.