Chapter -10

Audio Diary: The Way Things Are.

Before the radio had even fully started up there were words. Shouting that had begun before the recording could catch up and only managed to hold the memory of the end of the initial cursing.

"- well ain't that just fuckin' like him!"

Something on the other side of the recording came crashing to the ground with a thunderous crash. The sound only surpassed by the furious words being shouted over it. "Wait until I almost have her, and then he goes and pulls her strings again! That vile, pathetic little bastard!"

"Well, looks like living the dream is a bust." The woman sighed, the sound harsh and resentful. "Had myself looking around for just the perfect place. All ready to shack up I was. Then Ryan. Andrew fucking Ryan comes a waltzing on in and dismantles all my plans in a heartbeat. With a snap of his fingers." The sharp snap of the woman's own accompanied the bitter words.

"Just like that plan's off. Not that I should be surprised any, Josie's face just lit up when she came to tell me. Got a fancy suite she always wanted, all because Ryan comes to visit her at night. But I can't fault her for takin' it. Much better place than I could 'ave gotten her."

Some of the anger bled away and there was a deep seeded sort of grief to that tone. Pity perhaps. For herself or for the Josie that she knew was living in a world all her own with no hopes of those dreams becoming realities.

And once the anger had turned cold there was nothing but that heavy heartache settling in. So few things in Rapture held onto that spark. Be it joy or wrath – the water dulled all edges given enough time. The silence here was one of idle acceptance and regret.

But there was nothing to be done about it. Certainly not now that so many years had passed between the day this had been recorded and the day the audio diary had found itself wedged under a particular bench in Arcadia.

Left there almost as a reminder of a time before the memory had soured.

She began again, slower, weary. "Well...suppose I ought ta look at this objectively." A slight shifting signaling she'd plucked up the radio diary to finish it with a little closing thought.

"Least I ain't have to breathe a word to my brother 'bout it."

The audio diary quietly powered down and was left in that same spot where the memory had once been a dazzling one.

…

…

Needless to say, after Ryan had gone and ruined Jackie's little fantasy – the woman was in an incredibly foul mood the following few days.

Fontaine noticed of course, hard not to when Jackie brought down the mood of any room she entered and how much faster she was to anger. He hadn't seen her pull a gun on someone in such record time for years now. Fortunately the trigger was never pulled, just some viciously hissed words for the man to make himself scarce and once he scampered off Jackie turned her anger onto inanimate objects instead.

Truly it was more self control than Frankie thought he could attribute to her.

Then at night Jackie had started to return to Eve's Garden. Somehow thinking that seeing her favourite show would make the loss sting a little less. How she thought seeing the object of her frustration again so soon after the loss would help was beyond reason.

But it became her default and Jackie was visiting Jasmine's nightly entertainment more often. Too often.

It seemed her brother had gathered enough suspicion and certainty to finally confront her. And he had to do it just as she was heading out.

Typical.

"Now where do you think you're off to at this time of night?" That was the tone of a disapproving father if ever Jackie had heard one.

She was sure the actual man would have paled in comparison to the glare Frank had on his mug at that exact moment. Of course their only memories of a father came from that wretched man that had shacked up with Jackie's mother only to dump both his stepchild and legitimate son into an orphanage the moment she passed away. Jackie didn't have much to say for parents. Although she'd been accused of being an overbearing mother type by Frank from time to time.

Her response was short, to the point and wholly unhelpful. "Out."

Judging by the way Frank's eyebrows knitted together tightly, irritation creeping in behind his stare, this was not a satisfactory answer.

"Right, that I had gathered." He muttered heatedly and Jackie recognized this as the beginning to an argument. They had so few; it was incredibly easy to spot one brewing.

Her first warning ought to have been Reggie's absence.

He had the good sense to clear out when the pair began to bicker. His immunity wasn't in play when both siblings were liable to pull a gun on him with a cross word gone too far.

"What I fail to understand is what you think you're doing prancing around that glorified whore house all hours o' the night."

Instead of giving him a proper answer, Jackie sneered and replied. "Oh, so you do know where I am going. Now why ever did you ask?"

This may have been a step too far, tone just a bit too impish. She was sure that a blood vessel was going to just pop inside of her brother's shiny, little head.

Rather than start shouting, which he no doubt wanted to, Frank attempted to hold onto some façade of calm. "It's not safe." He said slowly, words a tight hiss.

"Now how's that? You reckon that you've stepped on so many toes already that people are going to give a shit about your book keeper?" She watched her brother struggle for the words to argue his point. Watching the anger and frustration all boiling together as he scowl turned deeper and darker with every silent second that passed.

For the first time in what must have been her entire life, Jackie felt a tug of shame in her chest. Sometimes she could forget that her little brother was still capable of those gentler human emotions. His efforts to rid himself of them were rather successful but there were moments like this where they both remembered he still was flesh and blood.

And that he worried about her just as much as she worried for him.

But Jackie was no child and being babied on top of all the other headaches she dealt with since coming to Rapture did nothing to sooth her ruffled nerves.

She did not like Rapture. Not at all, despite all its beauty she found the city was beginning to feel claustrophobic and she knew perfectly well that she wasn't alone on that front. Ryan had shut them off from the surface fully and it had finally started to feel real to many of them.

Being a part of the unwashed masses in any way left her furious. Stupid her.

Jackie was livid with herself for being such a weak willed wretch and her anger at herself turned onto her brother in record time. "While you're out there having the time of your damn life playing around in Ryan's wretched city, I'm stuck bored out of my skull with only some working boys to twist around my fingers for entertainment. So yeah, I like to go out and see the girls dancing every other night. I don't see a fucking problem with that."

Neither of them were particularly good at curbing their nasty tempers, especially not when it came to one another. After all even the best actor needed a moment to let out all that pent up honesty.

"Of course you don't see the problem." Frank shot back, reaching his wits end as he gave up keeping his composure and ended up shouting right back at his sister. "You never think ahead. You're reckless, thoughtless, how like you – running off like a stupid brat thinking you can just do whatever you damn well please. You don't think these things through, Jackie."

"Oh?"

That single word was like a slap to the face and immediately Frank stopped talking. A weaker man would have even fled, but Fontaine was no weak man and so he stayed right where he was, awaiting the inevitable onslaught.

He was not made to wait long.

"Is that right?" Jackie's voice dropped abruptly, turning icy and soft. Regret briefly flashed across Frank's face and were his pride not so great he might have even stepped back from his seething sister once registering that tone. "I don't think, do I brother?" She continued quietly, sharp eyes fixed on Frank's uneasy expression. "Now isn't that a right laugh, I don't suppose you remember the years I put into your sorry hide."

"Sis, I…"

Those words were to be some attempts to pacify her no doubt, but Jackie went right on ahead, cutting across her brother's vain attempts at appeasing her.

"You listen here runt and you listen good. You wouldn't have a fucking thing without me. You'd be right back in that orphanage if I hadn't worked my ass off to get you out of it, if I hadn't taught you everything you god damn know. You ought to be thanking me! Without me you wouldn't even be here, been one hell of a long road and you don't even remember half of it because you were just a babe for most of it."

There was a pause in the angry words, but what came after was no better than what had come before it. "I think you're forgetting exactly who you're talking to and who exactly you are – gotten a bit too lost in 'Fontaine' have you?"

At the implication that he'd lost control of his own con, Frank's anger returned. Just as nasty and spiteful as her own.

The hesitation on his face melted away being replaced with a snarl. "Fine! You want to waste your time with some of Cohen's two-bit whores? Be my guest, see if you get a damn thing out of it!"

Briefly Josie's face flashed across Jackie's mind. Both a painful image and one she instinctively rose to defend. Her brother had no idea surely, but this did nothing to calm Jackie's immediate reaction.

Turning her back on him and stalking towards the door, but of course Frank had never been the type to let the last word or blow slip away from him. A fault they shared.

"Family comes first don't it?" He barked and every single nerve in Jackie's body positively exploded alight in fury.

He dared?

He dared to throw that into her face right now. It was her one good thing; her one constant in a shitty world and Frank used it against her?

Knowing he'd pricked a nerve when Jackie stopped to stand deathly still with her hand on the doorknob, Frank pressed on with a cruel smirk. "That's what you always told me and we don't lie to each other do we? Said so yourself countless times. But you're not exactly acting like a family girl recently. You been telling me lies all this time, sis?" The haughty tone that rolled over Frank's tongue with those words found Jackie's breaking point.

Anger so hot and vivid boiled up under Jackie's skin that for a moment she very sincerely thought it would burn her alive. Turning back towards him in one sharp twist, Jackie bore daggers into her brother with her eyes. "Well fancy that, he does know we're bleeding family." Jackie snarled and somewhere deep in the back of her mind where a conscience must have existed in some capacity or another, some little thread of common sense said – this is the type of anger that makes people say things they cannot undo.

"But you must have forgotten." Jackie sneered from the doorway, eyeing her brother with a level of contempt that he'd not seen directed at him before in all his life. Not from his sister.

"I ain't your damn sister in Rapture."

The door shut with a thunderous bang. The echo of the door's glass rattling, cracking in places was the loudest of all however. The spider cracks that appeared even after the initial bang had sounded out made quiet creaks and snaps. The noise of things giving out under pressure and once those fell still there was left only a deafening silence in their wake.

Regret likely did not have a sound, but this silence seemed adequate.

…

…

"Oh honey, you look dreadful!" Josie's shrill voice was a welcome relief, although Jackie did wince against the grate of her high-pitched squeal. It might have been the most observant Jolene had ever been that she noticed the flinch and softened her voice. Those vocal lessons certainly had not been wasted on her thought Jackie found herself no gladder for them.

A weak smile wormed its way onto her lips when looking up into Josie's pretty face. Queasy but feeling better the closer the blonde haired blue eyed angel was, Jackie managed to actually genuinely mean that smile.

"Ain't you just a visage from heaven." Jackie murmured, clearly far beyond the point of a little bit tipsy. She needed to be in order to come here and see Josie again while still nursing her wounds from the hope she had dashed by Ryan. She still felt sore over the whole thing.

Jolene's pretty face pinched tightly in concern and likely too disapproval. With a small huff that did little more than heave Josie's breasts, the woman slid down next to Jackie, taking hold of the moping woman's head and pulling her down into an awkward hug. Jackie didn't resist and was rewarded for her compliance by having her head resting against Josie's chest.

Drunkenly Jackie thought that she wouldn't have minded if she dropped dead right then and there. Josie was warm and soft, and Jackie knew she was being spoiled even if the woman holding her didn't know exactly how.

"Tell Josie all about it, lovely." Jolene murmured in a compassionate purr and Jackie didn't think herself capable of refusing the woman anything in that moment. Perhaps ever.

That did not mean she was willing to be one hundred percent up front of the gal of course. "Had a spat." She mumbled, eyes sliding shut as she melted into Josie's warm body. "Stupid, stupid spat with a stupid, stupid brat."

Once the words started they didn't stop. The faucet had been turned and Jackie showed no sign of running dry any time soon. "That lil' shit thinks he's king o' the damn world. Well he ain't, not yet anyway, not even close. But of course that don't stop him do it? Thinks he can order me around, what I do for him I do because I love his stupid, sorry ass. Not because he's the one in charge."

Jackie ranted, not as heated as she'd been when shouting at Frank but no less vicious. Although her words were sloppier now with alcohol buzzing in her brain and Josie's soft skin under her fingers.

All the while Josie ran her fingers through Jackie's hair. She liked her hair, always had. Which Jackie always found amusing seeing as she thought it was Josie's hair that was woven like strands of gold. But it was a pleasant feeling, those deft fingers passing gently over her scalp, occasionally stopping to massage.

Before long the rants were dying off and Jackie might as well have been purring for all the coherency in her quiet mumbles.

Finally when it seemed Jackie's words had dismantled enough to no longer be considered human speech, Josie spoke again. She'd showed more restraint than Jackie previously thought possible of the naturally chatty lass. "Oh, Jackie. Woes with a man is it, lovely?" She guessed, likely not getting much else from the drunken woman's ramblings. "Been mistreating you?"

Christ if she wasn't the saddest sack of shit this side of Rapture.

Jackie felt disgusted with her own pitiful display, but at the same time Josie's sympathy felt mind-numbingly good. "Something like that." She answered with a tired sigh, not feeling up to explaining to Josie that a man was never going to be the one warming her bed and that her issue was of a family nature.

After all Jaclyn Wayne had no family to take issue with.

Never in all her life had Jackie grown sick of the lie. She'd been so many different lies but it was miss Jaclyn Wayne that found her feeling stretched too thin. So to hear even one other person call her Jackie instead of Jaclyn was a welcome relief and she could not think of anyone she'd rather hear calling her name than Jolene.

"What you need is a sweet man." Josie was telling her. Talking about the merits of a 'good man' with all the conviction of a judge holding court. "One that treats you just right, treats you like a real princess."

"Queen." Jackie corrected absent-mindedly, not really listening to exactly what the woman under her arms was saying so much as relaxing into the sound of her talking. But even with that distance Jackie knew she'd much rather be treated as a queen than a princess. Doting was all well and good but Jackie wasn't some little girly so the effort would be wasted on her.

"If you like." Josie relented before her tone took on that unbearably sunny note it always adopted when this particular topic surfaced. "Need to find yourself a gentleman like Andrew!"

Oh Christ.

Abruptly all of Jackie's comfort sapped out of her, leaving nothing but bitterness in its wake.

It was something of a slap to the face whenever Josie said Ryan's name in that overly familiar, puppy dog love kind of voice. She did not want to hear a damn thing about Ryan but it was something of Jolene's favorite topic and once she'd started…

"He's a real sweetheart that one. All gentle with me for such a powerful man! Imagine it, being the gal of a man like Andrew Ryan…"

While Jolene looked dreamily upwards, Jackie tried to contain the rising bile in her throat. Hadn't the night been bad enough? Hadn't she put up with enough from all sides by this point?

"Can't fucking take this." Grumbling Jackie heaved herself upright, stumbling unbalanced away from a surprised Jolene.

"Jackie, darling, where are you going?" Jasmine asked, voice taking on that absurd note of concern she sometimes got. Like she was Jackie's bleeding mother.

There was absolutely nothing maternal in the way Jackie thought of Jasmine.

"Oh please sit back down." She pleaded, reaching out feebly to try and stop Jackie who jerked away from her outstretched hand as though it had turned into some vile, venomous creature right before her eyes.

"Oh would you just shut up!" The words were coming out, hot and angry. Not at all like the icy fury she'd thrown into her brother's face, not at all calculated. Just a breaking point overflowing into speech. "Do you ever hear the inane shit that comes out of your trap, huh?" Jackie demanded, her every dissatisfaction and bitter thought coming out in that moment and with only Jolene around to take it.

"Christ, what the hell do you think this is? Some fairytale where a rich guy is going to just whisk you the hell away? Nah, nah, love. This here is Rapture – a glorified slug to an underwater grave. There ain't no fucking fairytale endings here, just a long cold nothing at the end."

Jasmine was recoiling from her now. Those pretty blue eyes of her wide and glassy. Jackie only realised once the last word had ripped out of her throat that this was because Jolene was about to cry.

That was sobering.

An icy slap to the face that brought Jackie back upright and for a moment she had clarity enough to feel a repulsive feeling of regret clawing its way into the pit of her stomach. "Josie…"

What she wouldn't have given to be a better person in that moment. To be a stronger woman, to be someone good enough to swallow their pride, apologize and beg they be forgiven.

Unfortunately Jackie was not that person and no amount of lies, cons or acts was going to disguise that fact for long. Better Jasmine see that now and be done with it.

So instead of offering the apologies she wanted to be able to say, Jackie turned tail and fled. Marching off in the direction of the doors, Jackie could hear the exact moment Jolene found her nerve again and tried calling after her. Most people wouldn't have called for her with such concern in their voice after having been so wrongfully abused by her.

This was worse, because Jasmine really did have a good heart and for a moment Jackie truly hated her for it. She felt shame coiling tightly in her chest. Imagine that, her jealous of a call-girl because she could summon up even the faintest shred of human decency where Jackie could not.

Stumbling drunkenly out of Eve's Garden Jackie took the first corner she could find. Worried that Jolene's kindheartedness would have her following, she'd rather not be found again by the woman when she was such a wreck herself. It was a weakness that had been all too encouraged by her argument with Frank and the copious amounts of alcohol she'd drowned herself in.

Rapture blurred around her, the lights and wild sounds of Fort Frolic mingling together to become little more than a frenzied mess around her. Jackie felt sick to her stomach, expecting she'd throw up at some point between here and the bathysphere back to the office. Likely she would have had her legs not given out from under her only three steps further.

Knowing she ought to take it a little slower and that she'd successfully taken enough turns to lose Josie should she try to follow, Jackie let herself fall limp against the wall she'd stopped by. She ended up collapsed against it, struggling just to keep her breathing even.

What a night. Jackie thought sourly, every ounce of her bitterness being directed at herself this time. Two good things in your life, and you managed to bite both their heads off. Excellent job.

Sinking to the ground Jackie tried to balance herself against the wall, dragging in heavy gulps of air. She'd been plenty inebriated in her time, plenty hung over too. But tonight the world was slipping away from her in a different way.

Distantly she thought back to those few occasions her and Frank had gotten hold of things just a little sweeter than alcohol to take an edge off. She'd never quite enjoyed that particular pastime and quickly dropped the habit. Frank still partook in the odd session or two but it was agreed upon between them that they'd rather not be completely brainless when managing so many different lies.

Rapture mixed and matched all sorts of poisons but she didn't think she'd taken anything besides her usual choice that night. Granted she did not remember what each drink had been or where they'd appeared from. Having gotten so accustomed to constantly having one within reach when Timmy was working the bar, but he hadn't been working that night had he? She certainly hadn't seen him. Was he even still employed there or had she already pulled him away? She couldn't remember, couldn't think.

Jackie wasn't quite in her own skull when someone approached her.

The footsteps not at all elegant or quiet but Jackie didn't take notice of the other person's presence until they were right in front of her and speaking. Squinting Jackie tried to make out the person's face and their words before immediately decided she didn't actually care to know either of those things.

Snarling Jackie opened her mouth to say something along the lines of buzz off – thinking to at least not to immediately dive into the more vicious curses. Likely this guy was just curious to know what this mess of a woman was doing just sitting against some corner in Rapture.

Except whatever came out was distinctly not buzz off and didn't even seem to be words at all. Sounded like a jumbled mess to her own ears and Jackie knew that whatever she'd said was gibberish to the stranger as well because they laughed. This might have been pardonable – after all who wouldn't laugh at this mad bitch's stupor – but then the man went that little step further and grabbed Jackie's face. Likely trying to get a better look at her.

The result went both ways and even though Jackie's world was a touch blurry, she recognized this guy. Yeah that's right…one of the fisheries boys. It was his smile that gave him away; he had the shiniest teeth of all the lads. It was a common joke around the watering hole that he must have brushed them with bleach each night. Honestly they were a little bit ridiculous, certainly far beyond simply looking clean. Damn things practically glowed whenever he opened his mouth. She distantly recalled him being one of Frank's smugglers, the type that had more brawn than brains and none of the endearing qualities that Reggie made up this shortcoming with. But regardless of for narcissistic and block headed as he was, Jackie did need the help.

Leery as he might be, Jackie felt fairly secure knowing he worked for her brother. Besides the boys that hauled in fish, bibles and carousels, depending on what end of the legal spectrum they were currently working, all seemed to be fairly obedient to her now days as well. The occasional echo of a catcall or unwarranted sizing up of her assets, but nothing malicious or too overbearing. Jackie saw no reason to believe this one would be any different.

Thinking that perhaps this was for the best, Jackie began to try and work her words correctly. She might as well ask the lad to get her back to the fisheries seeing as she was clearly making no progress there herself.

Except when she finally felt as though she'd mastered the art of human speech once again, the arrogant lad thought he was allowed to press his thumb against her bottom lip. Part of Jackie thought he ought to have tasted as shit as his attitude suggested but rather than iron or dust his skin tasted just like anyone else's, just a bit of salt at worst.

Well if he was going to be a boorish fucker then Jackie wasn't going to be civil either.

Jackie scowled at the cocky bastard before jamming her foot as roughly as she could against their shin, which was when she noticed precisely how close they were to be in kicking range. Which lead into the next obvious thought of – he'd been close enough to touch her.

This was too close.

There was no more laughter, cursing taking its place. The words were low and angry, but about as nonsensical to Jackie as her own mumblings had been. When the hand returned this time it was not quite as gentle as it had been the first time. The punch Jackie ought to have expected, to have braced for but it caught her by surprise. Seemed to rattle her brain in her skull and for a dreadful second a resigned part at the back of her mind considered this just punishment for having been such a right fool that night.

But when the abusing hand returned for a second time to grab at her face, the rest of Jackie decided one sock to the eye was punishment enough and she buried her teeth into the fucker's hand.

The result was a giving of flesh that was as satisfying as it was disgusting. Coppery blood filled her mouth and Jackie cringed when she felt part of the man's hand actually come away under her teeth, flopping uselessly in her mouth. She spat it out in an instant and damn near tossed up the rest of her lunch with it.

Beyond the surge of revulsion Jackie caught the sounds of the man shouting something. A moment later she felt him kick her and as Jackie hit the wall she'd previously been leaning against she tried to stand back up. Only to find her legs were about as useful as sacks of jelly. Uselessly she stumbled and landed winded on her side. The man might not have been the strongest guy this side of Rapture but he sure as hell had some fine steel tipped boots to knock the air out of her with.

Jackie expected a beating, expected a fight if she had it her way. But when those hands returned, one bloodied and missing a portion of flesh, they did not go for her throat as Jackie had expected they would have. Rather they seemed more interested in her clothes. In pulling at them until a button popped away or a seam tore.

For the second time that night clarity returned to Jackie as a slap to the face.

This one brought with it fear she hadn't experienced since she was still just a child. The fight she would have preferred became a struggle, desperate and terrified as she kicked and bit wherever she could. Seemed this man for all his inelegance did not make the same mistake twice. Jackie's teeth found nothing to bite down besides the worn leather of the man's belt. A few more knocks to the head and Jackie might as well have just left her body behind, would have preferred it if she'd been able to black out once the struggle had plainly been lost. But unfortunately consciousness would not leave her and so she remained trapped there.

And all she could think was that there were two good things in her life and three laws of Rapture. Two good things and three laws.

The five things that ought to have given her some peace but failed to that night. The three rules of Rapture that everyone knew still stood in the underwater city.

You do not steal. You do not kill. You do not rape.