Epilogue: Window

Location: Karakura Town, Japan
Time: 7:00 a.m.

As he sat eating breakfast, Ishida Uryu couldn't help but, once again, feel very pleased with himself. After all, it wasn't every day that you got to act condescendingly to someone who always treated you like trash, and have them actually take note of what you said and react just the way you'd planned. Still, last week, on the Sunday afternoon before he and the others had returned to the World of the Living, he'd done just that.

'So Kurotsuchi,' coming across the shinigami captain as he sat outside the First Division Assembly Hall, Uryu couldn't help but approach the man to say something, 'I bet you're a bit disappointed at the moment,'

'Shut your mouth, insolent-,' under all the black and white makeup, the man really was absolutely shattered. He couldn't believe that he'd missed the only chance he'd ever get to experiment on such a creature.

Not waiting to hear the rest of the insult, the Quincy teenager continued, 'Although I'd have thought, as a captain, you'd be more responsible than to put yourself over the betterment of the universe,' pausing he amended his statement, 'No, actually I can believe perfectly that you're the type to be selfish and stupid,'

'Stupid?' the scientist was outraged, 'Just you wait, I'll-,'

'Look, although talking to you is interesting,' Uryu produced a piece of paper from his pocket, 'I'm supposed to give this to you,'

'What is it?' taking the page with unusual hesitation, Mayuri glared at the teenager.

'A direct order from the Head Captain,' having heard some of the captains talking about it prior to its formal creation, Ishida was very pleased that it had been a success, 'Can your feeble mind understand the contents, or shall I explain things in terms that someone of your calibre might be able to comprehend,'

'What is this?' staring at the paper, the captain shouted out in fury, 'You have no right! Don't speak down to me, you-,'

Once again, the Quincy cut him off, 'I don't have the right, considering I'm not even a shinigami, but Yamamoto does, and that's his order there. And I can speak down to you, because, for a month now, you're just the average member of the Fourth Division,' hiding his smirk, he continued, 'Working under Unohana, reporting to Unohana, cleaning for Unohana, reporting to Unohana, running errands for Unohana, reporting to Unohana-,' he continued to drone on and on about Unohana.

With every word that Uryu spoke, the Twelfth Division captain kept getting angrier and angrier. But, aside from his fury, he was also feeling intense humiliation, hatred towards Yamamoto, and a slight amount of fear. He and Unohana always had a sort of subtle rivalry, and now he was going to have to work for her, as part of her Division?

'No! They can't make me!' he was screaming, 'I'm a captain! I have a Division to run!'

'I'm sure your Lieutenant will manage,' as Uryu spoke, Kurotsuchi Nemu appeared, Yachiru hanging from her shoulders, 'See, they'll be fine,'

'I will diligently run the Division in your absence, Master,' Nemu bowed deeply, 'Do not worry, the President has advised me on what I should focus the Division on inventing. Firstly, I will begin with edible candy zanpakuto for all unseated shinigami, then edible candy koi fish for Captain Kuchiki's pond, and also-,'

Yachiru suddenly cut her off, not that the Twelfth Division Lieutenant minded, 'Bya-kun's going to love his new fishy-wishies! I mean, Byakushi misses his koi!'

Apparently, she didn't realise that she'd swapped nicknames halfway through her cheerful little speech. Or that she'd been the one to take away Byakuya's fish in the first place.

'Yes, I will be guided by President Kusajishi in your absence,' Nemu bowed again.

'You can't do that!' Mayuri was horrified. All his research . . . all the specimens . . . all of the experimenting that still needed to be done. What? Was his Division going to be turned into a candy factory by the time he was released from Unohana's clutches?

'Probably. But it's your own fault,' reminding the captain that he was speaking aloud, Uryu just turned on his heel and walked off, getting as far away as possible using Hirenkyaku, so that Kurotsuchi wouldn't hear him laughing.

'Good times,' finishing up his breakfast, the Quincy sighed. The feeling of satisfaction still hadn't worn off yet, despite the seven days that had passed since the event had actually occurred, and he felt like he could do anything. Even visiting his father didn't seem like such a terrible thing.

'Anyway,' as he left the apartment, he continued to talk to himself, 'He got what he deserved, he really did,'

Taking out a book, Ishida Uryu continued his slightly dangerous practise of reading while walking, and began the trip to school.

Standing atop an electricity pole, Kuchiki Rukia stared out over the landscape of Karakura Town. She had a lot on her mind, from the new mission she'd been assigned, to the absolute chaos in the Seireitei. Rumour had it, that Captain Kurotsuchi had returned to the Twelfth Division after a suspicious five day absence, and had gone completely mad . . . or at least madder than usual. She'd heard that some of the buildings of the Department of Research and Development had been blown up, and that candy had rained from the sky for two days straight. Unfortunately, she hadn't been there to witness that, because she'd been at Urahara's for those two days.

'I heard someone say they'd seen a guy who looked just like Kurotsuchi cleaning the underground sewers,' she murmured, half to herself, and half to the jigokucho fluttering in the air beside her, 'Then another person said they'd seen his look-alike buying beads for Lieutenant Kotetsu's hair,' shaking her head, she frowned slightly, 'But I can't imagine Kurotsuchi working anywhere near Unohana, let alone for her. Then again, he has been missing for a while,' recalling the giant candy Chappy that Lieutenants Kurotsuchi and Kusajishi had given her, she grinned, 'And those two have been running the Twelfth Division,'

Laughing, she started believing that Mayuri really had been doing 'community service' at the Fourth Division, 'I can't believe this! I wonder if Ishida knows,' she almost fell of the pole as she laughed, 'Wait, I bet he does! It'd be just like him to get back at Kurotsuchi, for all the times that man's been a jerk, by finding out and then making the most of it!' jumping down, she continued in her desired direction, 'This is priceless, I can't wait to see if anyone else knows!'

Quite a few people with half decent spiritual awareness went and sought counselling after they heard freaky, manic laughter and decided that a mischievous spirit had begun haunting them.

'Hello Kurosaki!' Orihime's shout echoed across much of the school grounds, 'Hello Ishida! Hello Chad!'

'Good morning Inoue,' Ichigo began to greet all of his friends, when he suddenly sensed an all too familiar presence. Whirling around, he stared in mild horror, 'Rukia!'

'Keep your voice down, idiot,' noticing that a few people had turned to stare, and glad that she was in a gigai, Rukia sighed, 'You want to look like a complete moron? Oh, wait,' her voice was filled to the brim with sarcasm as she added, 'You already do,'

'Urk,' spluttering, his shock and indignation was so great, Ichigo tried to force the words from his throat, 'What,' more choked silence, 'Are you doing-,'

As it seemed that Kurosaki could no longer breathe, Inoue took up where he left off, 'Here? What are you doing here, Rukia?'

'I'm on a mission,' glaring at Ichigo, she added, 'And I'm not telling any of you what it's about,'

'I don't want to know!' in an attempt to get back at her, Ichigo shouted again, but he only succeeded in making himself start a hacking coughing session.

'Everyone!' Misato appeared near the front doors, 'School officially begins in five minutes! So start getting ready or its remedial classes for you!'

'She,' Uryu stared at the spot where the teacher had just been, 'She really likes threatening remedial classes at the moment, doesn't she?'

'That aside,' Rukia turned to him, 'Did you know about the current Kurotsuchi situation?' she saw his almost completely hidden smirk, 'I thought so,' then she laughed, 'Hey, is he really working for Unohana for a whole month?'

'He's supposed to be,' Uryu couldn't help but chuckle evilly.

'Well, two days ago, he must've snapped because he went back to the Twelfth Division and blew some stuff up,' Rukia sighed, like it was all just too much effort, 'The clouds went pink, the sky went pink, the sun went red . . . yeah, it was a little weird there for a bit,' she paused, 'And that was before it started raining candy,'

'Yachiru,' nodding, and ignoring the dumbfounded stares the other three were giving him, Uryu added, 'The candy definitely makes sense,' then he paused, 'How's your brother going?'

Rukia winced visible, also ignoring the stares from those who didn't know what they were talking about, 'Not so great. Colourful candy koi appeared in his ponds. They moved and everything. But then Yachiru came and ate them. She even tried to offer him some,' remembering how she'd once come across a stash of sweets that seemed utterly out of character for her Nii-sama to have, she realised what they must be for, 'And even though there's literally candy everywhere, she still ran off once he gave her a sweet bun,'

'I see,' turning to Orihime, Ichigo, and Chad, Uryu said simply, 'Kurotsuchi and Unohana do not get along,'

And all of a sudden, the three of them could understand exactly what had happened.

'Er,' getting over the shock, Orihime said, 'Yachiru really likes your brother, doesn't she?'

Once again, Rukia winced in sympathy for Byakuya, 'Yes, I guess you could say that,'

'Get in here immediately or it's remedial classes for you!' shouting out the window, Misato tried to gather together her students, 'Hurry!'

'There she goes again,' Uryu shook his head and began to walk inside, 'Remedial classes, remedial classes,' smirking, he added, 'Better watch out Kurosaki,'

'What's that supposed to mean?' insulted, Ichigo just ignored him, 'Come on, the new weeks is beginning. And it's one that will undoubtedly be filled with new adventures,'

Eyes showing a rather dead expression, Rukia punched him and said, 'That's so cliché,'

'Shut up,' Ichigo's retort was casual, and then he followed Ishida into Karakura High School, 'I was just imitating one of your crappy speeches,'

'What was that?' Rukia's shout was ignored, 'Get back here, you-,'

And so another day did begin, albeit in a rather boisterous way, and, as Ichigo had predicted, none of them had to wait long for the next big issue to come knocking at the door. Or was it the window . . . ?

Location: Karakura Town, Japan
Time: 12:00 a.m.

Kurosaki Ichigo woke up, looked at his alarm clock, considered going back to sleep, but decided against it. He'd been given remedial classes at school, had his head stuffed full with stories of candy and small pink haired nightmares, and then Karin and Isshin had somehow collaborated to make his night horrible.

Opening his window and peering out, Ichigo wondered if tomorrow would be any better. It might've just been his sleep dazed mind, but he was certainly he could hear howling. Pondering that, and wondering if Zero was laughing at him, he was about to go back to sleep, when abruptly, someone shot towards the window, landing on the sill with absolute grace.

Kuchiki Rukia.

Momentum carried the shinigami forward slightly, but then she stopped herself from falling into Ichigo, by putting one hand on the window frame.

Ichigo himself was wondering why, recently, it always seemed that, near the start of the week, strange girls kept appearing in front of him, with their faces generally in close proximity to his own. He seriously wondered if he was dreaming, because somehow, with the bright moon and dark midnight sky behind her, Rukia seemed to look like an illusion. A kind of glossed over, nightmarish one . . .

There was a pause, in which they both stared at each other, neither one moving back into their own personal spaces and continuing to invade the other's instead, and then Rukia spoke, 'Ichigo,'

A sudden explosion behind her, one that created lights like fireworks, only increased the unreality of the whole moment. The teenager blinked, and wondered once more how this could possibly be real. Normally the shinigami would either have yelled at him or hit him by now, but instead she was just staring at him.

'We have a situation,'

Abruptly everything slid back into reality and then Ichigo found his Substitute Shinigami badge being thrown at his head. Getting the rather unsubtle message, he separated from his body and joined Rukia who was already standing in the air outside.

'What is it this time?' his mind was still catching up, having been left behind when things had so suddenly changed, 'Rukia?'

'Who knows,' flashing him a grin, the petite shinigami raced off towards the site of the explosion, shihakusho fluttering around her. After another moment, Ichigo grinned and followed, one hand already on Zangetsu's hilt.

Have fun Zero, and I hope it's quiet where you are . . . because it's only chaos here and, by the sounds of it, the Soul Society too.

Somewhere in the dimension of the Soul Society's symbolic ruler, a pure white wolf paused mid lope, and sneezed once.