Back in the story, Joker and Harley wandered through the tunnels underneath Arkham Asylum. "I think I've found something!" said Harley at last.
"What?" asked Joker. "A way out?"
"Maybe," she said, kneeling down by the underground stream. "It's water, and it's flowing somewhere. We follow it, and we might find its source outside."
"Good thinking," he said, nodding.
"Thanks," said Harley. "Thinking is something I do a lot of, so I'm pretty good at it."
"You don't have to be so sarcastic all the time, y'know," muttered Joker. "I said I was sorry I got us into this mess. I don't know what else I can do."
"You can promise me that in future, you won't try to get me to like you," retorted Harley. "Because your ideas for that are terrible."
"I just kinda thought my true love would be into the same kinda things I am," said Joker, shrugging. "And you being interested in crazy – I thought it would be a good way for us to bond."
"I'm not your true love, for the last time," said Harley.
"How do you know?" he asked. "You won't even give us a chance…"
"Because I could never love a man like you!" snapped Harley. "Frankly, I don't think anybody could!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded. "I know the whole clown face ain't the most attractive, but once you break the spell, that'll be gone."
"It's not your face," retorted Harley. "The problem is something deeper inside you. In your soul."
"Well, my soul is what it is," said Joker, shrugging. "My true love should accept that about me. Just like I accept that she can be uppity and high-strung…"
"I'm not your true love!" shrieked Harley. "And I'm not uppity and high-strung…"
"You've been like that since you came here," retorted Joker. "I'm sorry about the whole prisoner thing, but we've all tried to be nice to you to make up for that. Anyway, how would you like it if some randomer came along and cursed you and said you'd be ugly for the rest of your life unless you got somebody to love you? I mean, yeah, maybe I ain't the nicest guy, but I don't know what I did to deserve that! You said you were sick of being blackmailed by people – well, think about how we feel! Our entire future has been blackmailed, and whether we have one or not depends on me getting some girl who hates me to love me! Pammie's right – we might as well give up now."
He sat down on a rock. "You go ahead and try to find a way outta here. I'm staying down here alone. Better than a buncha losers blaming me for cursing 'em, and you snapping at me all the time."
Harley was silent. "Look, I…do sympathize," she said at last. "And I'm sorry about what happened to you. But two wrongs don't make a right. You can't fix your situation by putting others in the same predicament, and holding them hostage to a set of conditions. If you really love someone, you have to give them their freedom and let them go."
"What if they don't come back?" demanded Joker. "Then we're all screwed!"
"You have to trust that they will," said Harley. "That's love."
"That's the other problem," muttered Joker, kicking at the dirt. "I ain't even sure what this love stuff is. Hatty says it's all gifts and compliments, and Pammie says it's all similar interests, and Craney just seems enthralled by a pretty face, and Harvey's past the point of caring…it's just not a gag I can figure out."
"That's 'cause it ain't a gag," said Harley. "It's something you feel, deep down in your heart, something you don't even have to think about. You just know it when you feel it."
"How do you know so much about love?" asked Joker. "You ever been in love?"
"No," replied Harley. "But I do read a lot."
"You ever read a story where a homicidal clown finds his true love and breaks the spell he got cast on himself?" demanded Joker.
"Not yet," replied Harley. "But that doesn't mean it can't happen."
She held out a hand to him. "C'mon," she said. "Let's just get outta here. And then we can worry about the rest of the story."
He nodded, taking her hand and following her down the tunnel. The stream they were following got wider and stronger, until it looked like an underground river, too deep to see the bottom. Suddenly, Harley jumped back from the edge.
"What is it?" asked Joker.
"I…thought I saw something…down there in the water," she stammered. "Something big."
Joker peered down into the depths of the dark water. "Looks too dark to see anything – probably just your imagination," he said. "Reading will give you one of those. Reading and madness, which is my excuse!" he chuckled.
"You don't seem that crazy to me," said Harley.
"Better watch out – that's a sign that you might be crazy too!" laughed Joker.
"Well, that'd be kinda a good joke, huh?" asked Harley with a grin. "A crazy psychiatrist?"
"Yeah, it would, actually," he agreed, smiling at her. "See, you do have a sense of humor."
"So do you, when you're not telling offensive jokes," retorted Harley. She stopped suddenly as an iron gate in the tunnel blocked their progress.
"Why would anybody build a gate here?" asked Harley, examining the rusty lock on the door.
"Maybe to keep something out?" suggested Joker.
"Or to keep something in," agreed Harley, with a shudder. She tried breaking the lock, but it was too strong.
"Lemme try," said Joker, using all his weight to slam against the lock. He broke it at last, along with one of the bars, and pushed the rusty door open with a screech.
"I think that's light up ahead," said Harley, hopefully. "We might be getting outta here!"
"No, you're not," growled an unpleasant voice behind them. They turned slowly to see a huge, hulking figure emerge from the water, half-crocodile, half-man.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Joker.
"Killer Croc," he growled. "I was locked down here ages ago and forgotten about, forced to eat whatever I could find in this pit to survive. But now I finally have fresh meat again," he said, eyeing them hungrily. "It's been so long…"
"Ok, just take it easy, Crocky," said Joker, slowly. "We're not for eating…I mean, c'mon, look at us! We're all skin and bones! Wouldn't be worth the time and effort eating us!"
"I just need a taste of it," growled Croc, licking his lips as he began to salivate. "Just a taste…of fresh meat…"
"Harley, run," muttered Joker, as Croc approached them.
"But J…" she began.
"Run!" he shouted, as Croc charged forward suddenly with a growl. He lunged for Harley, but Joker intercepted him, grabbing him around the neck with both arms and wrestling him to the ground.
"J!" screamed Harley, as Croc roared in fury, struggling against him. He suddenly dove back into the water, and began to roll over and over, trying to dislodge Joker from around his throat.
Harley stared in horror at the fight for a moment, and then reached for the fallen metal bar, just as Croc succeeded in freeing himself from Joker, biting suddenly into his arm. Joker cried out in pain as Croc dragged him down underneath the water, staining it red with blood. Harley waded in, striking at Croc with the bar as hard as she could. "Let go of him!" she screamed. "Let go!"
The bar struck Croc's teeth suddenly, and he howled in pain as he felt some of them break. He released Joker and Harley grabbed his other arm, wading through the water and dragging him toward the gate. Croc roared, heading straight for them again. Harley just managed to drag Joker to safety and slam the gate, shoving the bar through the broken lock to secure it. Croc hit the gate at full force, howling again in pain and frustration at being robbed of his meal. Harley ignored him – her attention was completely on the Joker as she dragged him to the bank, examining his injuries. The bite on his arm was deep, and he wasn't breathing.
"J?" she gasped, shaking him. "J, c'mon, don't drown! C'mon, wake up, please! You can't die on me!"
He remained unresponsive, the water dripping off him. "J, please!" she gasped, pummeling against his chest. "Please wake up, c'mon!"
There were still no signs of life, and Harley opened his mouth, about to press her own into it…
And then he coughed, choking up water as he gasped for air. "You're alive!" gasped Harley, embracing him tightly. "Oh, thank God!"
"Easy, toots – let me breathe!" he gasped.
"Right, sorry," she said, releasing him. He sat up slowly, hissing in pain as he looked at his arm.
"Hope you enjoyed that, Crocky!" he shouted back at the now empty gate. "Shoulda killed him – nobody takes a bite outta me and lives…"
"You're just lucky to be alive," retorted Harley. "What were you thinking, trying to wrestle a crocodile like that?"
He shrugged. "Wasn't thinking much of anything. Except that he was gonna hurt you, and I…didn't wanna see that happen."
He grinned at her. "Guess you like me more than you let on, though, trying to kiss me and all."
"I was trying to perform CPR!" snapped Harley. "It's medically sound - what you're supposed to do when someone's not breathing…"
"Uh huh, sure," he said, grinning. "Like I buy that."
"It's the truth," retorted Harley.
"And attacking a crocodile for me? That's definitely not medically sound," he replied.
"Well…I don't want you dead," she said. "Anyway, you wrestled a crocodile for me. Seems fair."
She helped him to his feet. "We need to get outta here and get your arm cleaned," she said. "Don't want the bite to become infected. But luckily I'm pretty sure that light up ahead is the way out. We'll have you back at Arkham in no time."
"Kinda a shame, really," he said. "I liked having you all to myself down here without the other losers intruding."
"Well…I can clean your wound when we get back…if you wanna," she said. "Least I can do, since it's kinda my fault and all…"
"Yeah, I'd…like that," he said, looking down at her. "I mean, it was kinda your fault, but it was…kinda worth it, y'know."
She looked up at him. "Thank you," she whispered. "For…saving my life."
"You're welcome," he murmured.
Harley felt her heart pounding in anticipation of something as some irresistible force seemed to draw their mouths toward each other. Her breathing sped up as her body pulled closer to his, his arms encircling her shaking form...
And then he hissed in pain as she brushed against his wound, and the moment was broken. "Let's…uh…get you back," said Harley, heading toward the light at the end of the tunnel. Joker followed behind her, smiling despite the pain in his arm. And although he couldn't see it, Harley was smiling too.