Cycle 9: Day Four (afternoon)
Billy's cellphone vibrates in his pocket. He takes it out and stares at it for a moment, confused. Everyone who would usually text him is in the room.
'Maybe it's my parents,' Billy thinks with dread as he unlocks the screen to read the text. It's awkward and depressing to talk to them these days, because of course he can't go home and they are literally incapable of understanding why.
It's from Adam, the older of Billy's two younger brothers.
The text says "Having fun sleepaway camp". Billy smiles and opens the photo attachment.
The smile drops from his lips. Horror churns his stomach.
The grainy cell-phone picture shows his brothers, looking terrified, standing to either side of Mother. Her smile is triumphant. Joey, the youngest Kaplan boy, is crying.
"No."
It doesn't occur to him to wonder who took the picture.
"We have to defeat Mother, now," Billy announces to the rest of the Young Avengers.
"What's the rush?" Teddy asks. Billy throws his phone at his boyfriend, who manages to catch it before it drops to the ground. Teddy stares at the screen. He pales. Kate tries to look over his shoulder, and he hands over the phone without comment.
"Oh," Kate gasps. "Oh, Billy." The phone is passed around the room while Billy silently seethes.
"I can't wait around anymore. I can't sit around trying to learn spells or sigils or whatever. You said I have control over reality?" Billy looks toward Loki and America, "It's time for me to take control."
"This really isn't the time to go in unprepared," Kate warns. Billy gives her a sharp look.
"No, that could actually work," Loki disputes, "the Demiurge isn't necessarily about knowledge or skill, it's about being. It's about who he is."
"It could save my family."
"I guess we're doing this." America shakes out her jacket and puts it on.
"I'll handle Mother, you guys just get my brothers to safety."
MOTHER'S DIMENSION
It isn't that easy.
"Oh look, the children are here."
Mother is there, waiting.
The Kaplan boys are suspended high in the air, struggling to no avail against white tendrils of Mother's magic.
Then there are Mother's allies.
It's them.
There's a Kree soldier, wearing a military uniform and having a broader physique, but still recognizably Noh-Varr.
There's the Billy they met in the middle of Kansas, one cycle and several dimensions away.
There's Kate, agent of Hydra, in her fascist-chic uniform.
There's a Skrull soldier who stands with military bearing but who wears Teddy's face.
And there's him: the one double they never saw. A tall, older Loki is standing with the others. His hair is long and greasy; he has dark bags under his eyes that contrast with his wide, white smile. He wears black leather and much less green than their Loki does. He stands tall and proud, but casual as well, as if he has nothing to fear from the Young Avengers.
"Guess you dodged the bullet," Kate says to America.
"There's only one of me," America tells her.
The counterparts stand tensed for battle, but no one moves. It's the calm before the storm, the pause before an inhale. The air seems heavy with anticipation.
"Avengers Assemble," Loki says grimly.
Billy rises into the air under the force of his own magic.
He breathes in in in in out out out.
"Demiurge," he whispers.
"Kids these days," Mother comments idly as she strolls toward him.
"Demiurge," Billy repeats.
Mother's own magic engulfs her, lifting her up to join Billy in the air.
" ∞ !" The third iteration of Billy's spell comes out viscerally right.
Control over reality…
MEANWHILE
"You could do so much!" America screams as she punches the man who is not Billy.
"You don't think I wanted to? I had no choice!" he argues, wiping blood off his lips.
"There is always a choice."
America is struck by lightning. She grits her teeth and lunges.
MEANWHILE
"You aren't even evil!" Teddy pleads to his counterpart as they grapple in midair.
"You're working with Loki!" Dorrek accuses, "Don't you know what he's done?"
"She!" Teddy corrects, and punctuates his sentence with a punch.
MEANWHILE
"But the close-harmony girl groups-" One Noh-Varr is saying.
"Have you heard Gram Parsons, yet?" the other Noh-Varr asks as they trade blows.
"No, is he any good?"
"Good?" The second Kree exclaims, "He-"
"Are you seriously talking about music right now?" America demands as she cuts in, tripping the first Noh-VArr - the one in short-shorts.
MEANWHILE
"You are a Nazi!" Kate yells. She rolls to avoid an arrow.
"It's way more complicated than that! Hydra-" her counterpart begins, drawing another arrow.
"You are an actual Nazi!" Kate reiterates.
"You have no vision," Hydra-Kate complains, shooting.
Kate drops to the ground and dances closer to her double.
"You are a god-damned Nazi!" Kate screams as she swigs her bow like a baseball bat, knocking her counterpart to the ground.
MEANWHILE
"You really did a number on New York," Loki mentions casually.
"They were ants," the other Loki corrects, "barely worth notice." He's tall, taller than the teen-Loki, and he stands up straight, unlike Old-Loki's constant crouch. Decked out in leather and metal, Loki thinks they look uncomfortably similar.
"Oh, I dunno," Loki drawls, "some of them seemed kind of fun," ze throws a knife at the other Loki. The knife whistles though the image, dispersing the illusion.
"You guessed wrong," the other says as he wraps a long-fingered hand around Loki's neck.
"Elsew-" Loki gasps, but zir opponent tightens his grip on zir neck, cutting off air flow.
"Oh, I'm sorry," other-Loki taunts, "Did you think you were winning?"
He transforms briefly into a copy of Old-Loki. Scarred lips pull into a sneer. His form shifts again, and this time the face Loki stares into is zir own. He's wearing a green tunic with a horned symbol emblazoned in gold. In place of Loki's own horned headgear, the other wears a simple, familiar gold diadem.
"I am the crime that will not be forgiven," The other Loki hisses.
Green eyes widen in horrified realization.
The destructive force isn't Billy. It isn't Mother. It's Loki.
It's always been Loki.
"Shut the FUCK up!" America roars, coming out of nowhere to kick the taller Loki in the crotch.
He crumbles, chocking. Loki stands, clutching zir throat in relief.
"America-" Loki gasps. Ze stares at zir savior in surprise.
"If we don't save each other, we've got jack," America tells zir, then turns around to block an attack from Billy's counterpart. Loki spares a moment to wonder how that is for her, beating on a copy of her childhood idol.
Zir double doesn't stay down for long.
"She's got spirit!" other-Loki laughs, "I think I'll visit her when I'm done with your sorry excuse for an Asgardian!"
"Shut up, you nightmarish reject!" Loki hisses. Zir friends are tired, hurt, and confused. So is Loki.
Ze knows how to end this. "Listen!" Ze yells.
As if on cue, the League of Evil Twins stops what they are doing and turn toward Loki.
In confusion, the Young Avengers do the same.
"Once upon a time," Loki chokes out, "Loki saved Asgard."
Ze tells them a story about an evil mastermind, a sly magpie, and a boy-hero who believed in good. Ze tells them how he died bravely, with no one to mourn his passing.
"This is all my fault," ze cries, falling to zir knees. "I lured Mother here. I tricked Billy into summoning her. It was my magic sustaining the time loops. It was all me. I'm the villain of the story."
America stands above Loki.
"I'm sorry," ze wails. Zir child-self is impassive. I'm still dead.
America is unimpressed. "Now you are."
Loki tries to smile, zir lips widening awkwardly over bared teeth. "I'll do it again," ze warns, "I am Loki. Some heroic, innocent child will fall into my grasp and I will murder them in cold blood." Zir eyes find Billy, locked in battle far above them. "Maybe it will even be him."
America's face is stone. "I know what you're trying to do. I won't make this easier for you. Anyway," she says, "Billy won't be killed by the likes of you."
"Loki!" Teddy calls, "Can your identity crisis wait? Billy needs us."
In the cloud of magic, Billy is having a crisis of his own.
He barely looks up when Loki and Teddy arrive in his oasis of safety in the maelstrom of magic.
"You shouldn't be here," he tells them.
"Bullshit," Teddy says, and walks toward his boyfriend.
"I know what's going on. I heard you two talking, before. This is all my fault. My magic, my depression. If I wasn't such a fuck up, you two wouldn't be caught up in this. You should leave while you still can." Billy stares at them both like it's the last time he'll see them. He looks at Teddy with eyes full of love, longing. He looks at Loki as if he can't quite believe ze's there.
Loki hates being Loki sometimes. Damn you all. Damn me.
"Billy, I was wrong. The time loop is the result of two clashing reality-warpers."
"Mother isn't doing it," Billy reminds zir.
"There are three reality warpers on the field, Billy. Mother. You. And me. It's not your guilt that's trying to kill us. It's mine." Loki takes a deep breath. No going back. "You're the reason we always come back. It's your drive to live, to hold on, that is keeping my self-destruction in check."
Billy looks at Teddy for confirmation.
Teddy nods, "I'm not 100% on the details, but all the Evil Twins disappeared when Loki started confessing earlier."
Billy laughs unhappily. "I guess we both fucked up."
Loki gives a fake sigh, "Ah, the struggles of having ultimate cosmic power!"
"What a drag," Billy deadpans.
Teddy and Loki each hold a hand out to Billy, and together they pull him to his feet.
Teddy offers his other hand to Loki, and ze takes it, completing the circle.
"Circles are containment," Billy recites from Loki's magic lessons.
"It doesn't matter," Loki tells him, "This isn't about containment. This is about you, your potential, your dreams, your existence."
Billy squeezes his eyes shut.
When they open again, they contain galaxies.
Billy's power washes over Mother's dimension, eating through tendrils of Mother's power, gently cradling the younger Kaplan boys, causing a radiance that makes the other Young Avengers shield their eyes to protect themselves.
"Saved by the power of…. Boy kisses?" Kate asks, feeling a little disappointed.
"Power of love, princess," America corrects with a smile.
Loki tries to leave, after, but Billy stops him.
"I don't know if you noticed, but I confessed to murdering a child earlier," Loki tells him.
"Bullshit. That doesn't sound like you at all."
So Loki tells the story once more.
"Once upon a time, Loki was a villain. He was Voldemort and Sauron and Vader wrapped into a ball of vindictiveness and lies. Then, he sacrificed his life to save Asgard from destruction. No one knew why he did it. But I do. It was a trick. It's always a trick. A child-Loki was created from his essence, without the memories and hatred of Old Loki. Thor found him, and he loved him. His brother had returned to him. It was- it was good. But the child-Loki was not all that Old-Loki left behind. There was another part that emerged: Loki's memories. This Loki took the form of a magpie, and the child named it Ikol. Ikol followed the child for months, watching as he won trust and became a hero. Then, Ikol destroyed him and stepped into his body." Loki steps back and spreads zir hands wide, "and here I am."
Billy is unconvinced. "You're being over-dramatic again. If you've done all this, if you're so evil, then why did you come back to save us?"
Loki will make him understand. "When I stepped into his body, I also stepped into his role. The child-Loki managed to change. That has, in turn, changed me."
"It sounds like you aren't the Old Loki any more than you are the kid-Loki," Teddy interjects.
"Maybe you're a new one, a mix of the two."
"Aren't you paying attention? The child is gone, obliterated," Loki insists.
Teddy won't give up, "You said you have his role, his body, and Old Loki's memories. But you don't act like either of them. Seems to me that makes you a new Loki."
"I'd love to believe that." It would be a balm to zir guilt, it would absolve zir of Old Loki's sins. Loki wants so badly to believe ze is that person, which is why ze must be suspicious. Loki is the god of lies, and ze must be extremely careful not to lie to zirself.
"You said Old Loki was never a girl," Teddy reminds Loki. "But you are."
And… he's right.
Loki stares at Teddy. "A new Loki…" ze says. "Maybe the child won after all."
Cycle 9: Present.
It's much later when the trio has the chance to speak again. The younger Kaplans are bundled up in blankets and taken home for Billy's parents to fuss over, Kate fields a phone call from Eli ("What the hell happened? Are you guys active again? Why did no one call me?"), and Billy makes one more scrying spell to make sure Mother is gone for good. He erased her from existence. He washed away her influence from the timeline. Still, it never hurts to be sure.
They've only stolen a few moments of peace, Billy and Teddy huddled together on Teddy's bed, Loki lounging against the windowsill. Billy wishes they could leave things here. He wishes he could curl up and go to sleep confident that time wouldn't pull a fast one on him before he woke up.
Certain things need to be said.
"Loki. I like you. We like you." Teddy likes to make some things clear.
"But a relationship is not built of sentiment alone." Loki looks almost somber. It's good ze's taking this seriously, but Billy doesn't really like the look in zir eyes.
"Yeah. If we're going to do this, and believe me, we want to do this, we need to know we can trust you."
"I won't make any promises I can't keep, Billy. I will lie to you. I will trick you. Sometimes I will have you believe me to be one thing when I am another." Which is well, obvious. Loki.
"We know that," Teddy says, waving his hand casually, "We know who you are, we know what we're getting into. But can we trust you? Are you going to be there for us? Are you going to have our back? Can we trust that you won't run off one day without warning?"
"I am not the warm cuddly type," Loki warns. Billy remembers holding hands and the crushing hug they shared after Mother's defeat, but wisely does not mention it.
"Yeah, well I've got Teddy for that," he says instead, "I'm all good on the warm-cuddly front. Might be in the market for a Loki, though."
"I- yes. Yes." Loki's face is calm, but zir voice betrays an edge of desperation. Zir eyes are sharp and bright.
Teddy holds out a hand to Loki. Ze joins them on the bed.