Mako, twelve; Bolin, ten.
Mako tapped his foot impatiently and dared another glance outside the alleyway; biting back a scowl, and hurling fireballs at the ground to pass away the quiet darkness that threatened to consume him every second that he didn't see his little brother approaching up the street.
By Agni, if he could tell time-which he sure as Spirits couldn't- it would say something like half-past forever since the time he told Bolin-not once, but twice- to be here.
For a moment, a pang of guilt and pity twisted his gut so immensely, that he felt if he had any food at all in it, it would have come back up, unforgiving and punishing.
He imagined himself as the little brother, their roles reversed, waiting endless hours, day after day, for Bolin to come back from wherever he was; himself waiting in an ally with a pleading tummy, forbidden to leave these dark, grimy walls with nothing but a, but, Bolin, I'm a big boy, now! I can come with you!, as his only attempt of freedom.
The pleading requests with his own name intertwined in the begging, Bolin's pouting face and watery eyes every time he told him to stay put only growing more and more-sometimes to the point of arguments and grumbles and glares and full-out silent treatments from Bolin for periods of time upon he returning from work-numbed him to the core and threatened to freeze the fire within him.
Isn't this what he had forced Bolin to do, every single day, with nothing but a promise that he would be back, regardless of the cuts and bruises he returned with, and sometimes nothing to eat to justify the means?
It's your turn to be the little brother, he told himself, it's your turn to wait.
He made himself turn his gaze away from the opening in the alley that showed him the outside world, and forced himself to stay put.
He needed to calm down and control his breathing. Bolin would be fine.
He would be okay.
This was okay.
Bolin was ten now, he was a big boy, he muttered to himself, as panic started to set in.
Bolin was the same age now as when he got mixed in with the Triads, and if he could handle running numbers, so could Bolin.
But that's not all the Traids were.
How could he have let Bolin get mixed up with them?!
How, how, how, could he have been so stupid and so selfish to let Bolin work for these horrible people, if only to get a few extra yuans a day, at the cost of his brother's innocence?
Thoughts of Bolin getting beaten up and used by gang members; smoking cigarettes and other ugly drugs offered by Shin and Zolt untill the younger boy was nothing more than a wisp of smoke that he could bend; Bolin doing crimes and getting slammed in a cell; being dragged off to a damned Orphanage, forever separated like so many siblings he had witnessed; Bolin enjoying it all, the life of crime and violence stripping away all the innocence Mako had tried so damn hard to preserve for the five years since they saw their parents' bodies, molding his brother into a monster with beady green eyes and an ominous laugh and-
His mother's dying promise to keep his little brother safe, whispered past his ears, yet the more recent promise heated his heart.
"Mako, I'm ten now! I can do big boy stuff! I can help! Promise me you'll let me run numbers by myself, okay? Promise?"
It took all of his strength, but finally he gave in, "...Okay. Promise."
"Really?! Thank's Mako! You're the bestest! I'll show you I can do it! I'll be fine, don't you worry!"
"Okay...just be back here by nine, okay?"
"Nine! Got'cha! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"
"You're welcome, bud. Be careful, okay?"
"Okay, Mako, bye!"
"Bye, little brother..."
This is 'okay', he told himself, as he watched Bolin leave the alleyway with a new-found confidence, and disappear behind the bend, as long as I make Bolin believe it is...then I can believe it, too...
That seemed to be the only truth he could live by, what he always seemed to repeat in his head like a metre when he doubted himself or was scared; because if his innocent, pure little brother could believe and still smile, then it was going to be okay.
Bolin never knew how much he kept him grounded, how he stabled him when he felt as if his fire was going to burn him from the inside out. There his little brother was, holding his hand, a little smile on his face and a smudge of dirt on his cheek, connecting him to the ground, keeping him not only living, but alive.
The difference in-between was enormous, when you walked along the border of half-alive.
Living half-alive would just have to do as long as Bolin hugged him every time he came back and still giggled at things Mako knew too much about to believe in anymore or had forgotten how to feel.
"Okay." he said to himself, and his dirty fingers absent-mindedly wove themselves into the red scarf, like a dozen times before.
Something in his gut twisted and he felt sick.
Or, more so, a memory of being sick.
Okay.
But this was okay. It really was. Because Bolin had been smiling about it and it made him happy, when some rare days he would come back to the alley and find his brother like a shell, like a zombie, molding into the color of the wall. Those were the days he feared the most.
So it had to be okay to do this. It had to be okay to let Bolin run numbers for the Traid, because that was all Mako would ever allow him to do.
It just had to be.
He sunk down against the wall of the alley and prayed to any Spirits he still believed in.
It's your turn to wait.
Being ten now meant a lot of things to Bolin; like being a big boy, and Mako finally letting him do work by himself.
It meant a freedom to show Mako he could be proud of him, and with his new-found Earthbending abilities manifesting, he wasn't just some little non-bender that bigger boys could pick on anymore.
Like Jin.
He had tripped Jin with his own Earthbending- just like the big meany had done to him countless times in the past-for trying to steal their food last week.
He had tripped him and sent a rock to his stomach and called him stupid-even though Mommy had always said that was a bad word- like Jin had said to him over and over again.
By the time Mako had regained conscienceness from Jin's rock-slamming, Bolin had managed to make Jin run away like a baby and retrieve their money.
And best of all, he had done it all without Mako's help! Like a big boy! Mako had smiled and hugged him and said he was proud!
He was very much enjoying being ten and an Earthbender.
And with all the number running he was now allowed to do, it gave him the freedom to roam around the city and get Mako a birthday present!
Mako was thirteen today, whether he wanted to acknowledge it or not, his older brother was two and a half years older than him, and Bolin was going to get Mako his first birthday present since...
Since Mommy and Daddy.
Mako deserved it, because he was the bestest big brother ever, so Bolin just had to get him something!
It didn't matter to him that he had not ever gotten a birthday present since Momma and Pappa; as long a Mako was happy, then so was he!
And Mako was going to be so happy with what he was going to get, Bolin thought, as he gazed up at the store through the tinted glass, dirty fingers smudging the surface, that he would never be sad again.
It was only the first few runs he had been going on, and he was young, so he didn't get much money to start off with...
Besides, Mako did it all the time, Mako stole all the time, didn't he?
So it was okay.
This had to be okay. Mako would tell him if it wasn't okay, right?
How many times had he stood by a vendor or a store clerk and distracted them while Mako slipped inside and expertly plucked whatever they needed without being seen?
How many times had they tricked people with little games and 'won' with thier teamwork?
Mako always said it was okay. Mako always said, no matter how many times he had felt like a bad boy, that they 'had to', and that it was 'okay' and that still were 'good, good, boys'?
Bolin sighed and folded out his crumbled up bills from his pocket, trying to count them and not drop any.
He couldn't count very well, only up to 'twenty', and he supposed he could always use his money to get Mako something else for his birthday... But he would much rather use the money for food while he had it, and besides, what Bolin wanted to get Mako was more than twenty yuans anyway, he was sure.
He stared at the yuans in his trembling hands, and considered.
It was getting dark and people never gave him the time of day anyway, walking past him as he were invisible, or throughing disgusted glances at him that sometimes mixed with pity.
Mako didn't have to know how he'd gotten the gift anyway, and he was going to be so happy, he wouldn't care!
Right?
But he had to, he just had to get Mako the lovely gift his eyes locked upon in the store; the softness and clean fuzz, the warmth...
Mako deserved it.
He closed his fist, and violently stuffed the yuans back in his pockets with a determination.
This is okay, he tells himself, as he begins to open the shop door, as long as Mako believes it is when he tells me, then I can believe it, too...
It was okay.
It just has to be.
Mako would never lie to him.
Sure, they had gotten caught sometimes, but they always managed to get away.
Besides, he was ten now, a big boy! He was an Earthbender, and he could be sneaky, sneaky and quiet...
He moves expertly past the veils of skirts and long legs roaming about the store, and imagines Mako's soon-to-be-smile.
Once a foot away from his target, he hides amongst the rack of robes, gift in sight. No one likes these robes, apparently, and he gives one last look around like Mako tells him to, before he brings his foot down hard on the ground, causing a little tremor. He watches with flicking eyes, barely containing his giggles as the table Mako's gift is on shakes and the prize falls to the ground.
He is invisible he knows, as everyone around him is preoccupied with their own lives and buying and looking at the pretty things in the store.
All he can think about is Mako's smile.
He doesn't feel like a bad boy at all, anymore.
Because he knows Mako's smile makes it okay.
He concentrates, breathes in, and curls is fingers to him with a bend of his elbow. Slowly but surely, the ground moves like a little wave under the gift, all the way towered him.
He's grinning so much he face hurts and almost yells out in happiness before remembering he must be quiet.
With fingers as delicate as Mako's, he plucks the gift and stuffs the bottom under the cuff of his pants, the fabric of his shirt hiding it.
He looks right.
Then left.
He is invisible, he is a piece of dirt rolling in the wind.
He is alive, but not living, as life goes on around him, refusing to accept him. For no one notices as he slips past the sea of people, leaving behind a little trail of mud, and quietly closing the door behind him.
Too easy.
But it was okay.
It was worth it.
Even the pitch darkness outside doesn't scare him like it usually does, and cannot take away his happiness.
"I did it because I'm a big boy." he whispers to himself and pats his shirt to make the gift's secure in its hiding place, "I did it, Mommy. I did it for Mako."
And he begins his journey back to the alley, the street lights glowing and laughter fading behind him as people start mingling out for a night on the town.
The little boy that he is, going unnoticed by all.
As he walks back to Mako, he asks himself, is this what it means to be a big brother?
Mako, mumbling at bit, opens his eyes, followed by mentally cursing himself for having fallen alseep- Dear Agni, how damn late was it, where in La's name was his bother- when he hears the unmistakable sounds of footsteps approaching.
He lights his palm as he dares to glance outside the bend of the alley. Squinting his eyes, agusting to the silhouette approaching; the big greens eyes he would know anywhere and that voice full of love.
"MAKO! Mako, I'm back, guess what I got'cha! Guessguessguess!"
Mako pulls Bolin inside the alley, instantly shushing him and meeting his eyes with a grim, annoyed face.
"Where the heck were you!? You had me worried sick, Bolin!" he yells as he hugs him, then grips his shoulder and demands, "You think just because you're ten now and have a job you can just go run off!? What time is it anyway, huh? What time did I say to be back here?"
Bolin's face falls, "You said nine, but-"
"- I said nine!" he yells over Bolin's voice. But Bolin doesn't take it personally because he knows Mako yells when he's the most worried, "And it must be close to eleven by now! I was just going to go out looking for you! Where have you-"
"I'll tell ya, if ya stop yellin'!" Bolin's voice raises and Mako blinks and shuts his mouth.
"I know I'm late, I'm sorry." Bolin says quietly. "I didn't mean t'scare ya. But I did it for you."
"For me...?" Mako asks, "What do you mean?"
"You may not think your birthday is important, and I may not even remember when mine is..." Bolin looks right into Mako's amber eyes, "but you're thirteen today, two and a half years older than me. The bestest big brother deserves the bestest present in the world!"
"I-I...you remembered...? I...you think I'm the best brother in the world?" Mako says quietly, and Bolin can see his eyes flickering.
"I don't think, I know, silly!" Bolin yells with a huge smile and hugs his brother again.
The younger boy steps back and says, "Close your eyes!"
"B-but, I-"
"Hush, I said close 'em! An' hold out your hands!"
"Okay."
"No peeking, promise?"
"Promise." Mako says, feeling his eyes sting.
Bolin pulls up his shirt, releasing the gift. He quickly breaks the binding with his hands, and gently places Mako's present in his hands.
Curling Mako's fingers on top of the gift, he whispers, "Ready?"
"Ready."
"Open."
And what awaits Mako's stinging eyes, are but two, white, huge, fuzzy, Spirit-beautiful, socks.
Mako can't speak, can barely breathe.
His hands are trembling.
Socks.
It is almost winter, and for the first time in nearly two years, he has socks.
Not small, moldy, faded, flimsy socks.
But beautiful, wool ones;so, so warm...
His feet won't be cold anymore. They won't be dirty.
"Do I see happy tears?" Bolin whispers.
Because he can't speak through his tears, he silently nods with trembling lips, crushing his brother to him in a vice-grip of a hug.
They wrap their arms around each other then; a tight, loving embrace.
"I knew you'd love 'em." Bolin replies, "Happy birthday, Mako!"
Mako just makes a pained, loving sound from his throat, that only Bolin knows the meaning off.
"I love you, too." Bolin says, "You're welcome. Now try 'em on! Try, try, try!"
And Mako plops down on the cold ground, and delicately rubs his thumbs over the soft surface before, slowly, slowly, cherishing the moment, slips his feet into one.
Granted, they are huge, probably adult sized, and the ankle part goes up to his knees, but they are so damn warm...
Mako can only stare at his pointed foot in awe as if in a trace, and before his knows it, fingers come down to tickle his foot.
He squires away with a laugh and watches Bolin's smile, "An'-an' in the summer when you get hot, y-you can put 'em on your hands and make puppets outta 'em! Can we do that, Mako!? Please?"
"'Course, Bo. But only if I can be the dragon!" He teases and puts the other on his hand, before he wipes away his happy, happy, happy, tears.
"Roarrrrrr! I'm the Dragon of the West!" he growls.
"Noooo!" Bolin shrieks, "Please don't eat me! I'm just a little Earthbender!"
And they both laugh, rolling on the floor.
"Bo...?" Mako asks, as he comes over and rests his head against the red- scarfed shoulder.
"Emmhhhmmm?"
"I'm not the bestest brother in the world. That's somebody else."
And Mako smiles as he watches Bolin's eyebrows furrow and his little pout come back, "It is? Who?"
"Ohhhhh...I don't know...I can't remember now. Oh, now I remember!" He looks around, then rests his eyes back on Bolin. "It's...YOU!" and his fingers attack Bolin's tummy in a tickle war.
"Ahhh! M-mako! St-top! Hahahaha! No! Haha!"
Mako blows bubbles on Bolin's cheeks before giving mercy.
"Mako?" Bolin cuddles up against Mako's neck, "We're gonna be brothers forever, right? Like, forever forever? Till we're a billion?"
Mako lets his socked-hand poke Bolin's nose as he kisses his temple, "Forever, buddy. Even untill we're married."
"What?!" Bolin shrieks and looks up at him.
Mako laughs, "Just kidding, bud. Forever, I promise. Now try and get some sleep."
"Okay, Mako. Happy birthday, night night."
"G'night, Bo."
I bet you all thought Bolin was getting Mako a cupcake or his leather gloves or something! Nope! Haha!
Hope you all enjoyed, and please review! :)