AN: Hey guys! I hope everyone had a good Easter. Thanks for the reviews. I know in the show that Haley was only mad at Nathan for like a day when she found out about how they started and part of that was because Lucas was in the hospital. That never happened in this story so she didn't get the call from Keith and then Nathan didn't make things better by trying with Lucas. So none of that happened and she just ran away from her problems. Yeah, that was wrong of her to just run but she was in love for the first time and then to find out it was all one big lie was really hard for her. She's never really dealt with all of this and it's all happening at once. And this is all really hard for her as it is for everyone else. She doesn't trust Nathan and who would if someone hurt them that badly before. She's just going by what she thinks she knows. Lets just hope that Nathan can talk some sense into her.

I hope you guys continue to read and review. I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think.

Quote of the Day:

Kyle: [Talking to the Buddha statue] Thank you. Now that my immortal soul has been cleansed on to more terrestrial concerns. It's been a dry couple years. Kyle needs a woman. Kyle needs her badly. Kyle needs her tonight…

Chapter Nine –You, Me, and the Darkness

Nathan tried with everything in him not to feel cold. Still, the rain was hitting him hard from every direction, the wind was making it worse, and his body was shaking. The cold drops of rain were stinging his skin. He glanced up and droplets of water were rolling off of his eyelashes. He tried to wipe them away but it only seemed to produce more rolling off of his eyes.

The sky was a dark grey, the clouds almost seemed purple. A few streaks of lighting lit up the sky. It all would have been really beautiful had he not been freezing his ass off.

His body was shaking and he rubbed his hands together trying to feel some kind of warmth. It only helped a little and when a sound of thunder hit, he jumped slightly.

The storm was supposed to be bad. It had been on the news all morning and it was enough for his mother to call from her sunny vacation, to tell him to be safe. It was bad enough that in just about an hour everyone was supposed to be locked safely inside of their homes to ride out the storm. This was nothing compared to what the storm would be in the matter of hours.

He shuddered at the thought.

Where was she? He had been sitting here for the last hour waiting for her. He'd give her another hour then he was gone. No use waiting for her in one of the worst storms to ever pass through Tree Hill.

He watched carefully as her neighbor across the street quickly boarded up his windows. The old man struggled to nail the wood in and Nathan almost made his move to help when a younger man ran around the house to help. The tree in the front yard was shaking back and forth, its branches thrashing along with the wind.

Although it was only six, it somehow seemed later. The sky seemed to be getting darker by the minute as he glanced up. He tried to think of anything but how cold he was. His breath was coming out in little white puffs and it was cold enough to see it for a few seconds before it was lost in the hard rain.

The old man finally noticed him and he glanced at him for a few seconds. His expression only meant one thing. What the fuck was he doing sitting outside in a storm?

Nathan looked away down the street. He didn't know why he was here. After helping Lucas and then Julian board up their houses, he just started running and he just seemed to end up here. He left his truck at home. He just needed to make sure that she was ok. What if something happened and no one was around to help her? She couldn't be alone in something like this. As strong as she was now, she would still be scared. She had to be. At least, he hoped she was. He was. He just wanted to be there for her.

Last night hadn't been good for him.

In fact, Taylor's words kept playing in his mind over and over again.

It was why he was here now. He needed to make her understand. She needed to know that it always wasn't some game. He had tried telling her their last night together but she wouldn't hear him out. She couldn't even look at him. His heart started to pound and the memory flashed in his mind.

He was lying sideways on her bed just looking at her. She was looking up at the ceiling and he knew something was wrong. She had barely said a word to him since he came over. He watched with fascination as she fought with herself. He knew she wanted to talk about it but she didn't want to talk first. He smiled and his heart started to thud loudly in his chest.

"What's wrong?"

She finally turned to look at him. "I had a little disagreement with Lucas."

"About me?" Nathan asked curiously. All of Haley and Lucas' fights seemed to be about him lately. He hated him. Couldn't the punk just leave her alone for once? It wasn't like he was forcing her to date him. Lucas was a chump.

"No, um…just the way he's been acting. He's really disappointing me."

She seemed hurt as she said this. It was weird for her to say something like that about her "precious" Lucas. It was usually her defending him. Not her talking like this. Maybe, Lucas wasn't as perfect as she thought. That thought made him smile and he couldn't help but laugh slightly. Looks like big brother lost his halo, he thought.

He laid himself on his back and looked up.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just…kind of ironic."

"What's ironic?"

"Lucas being a jerk," Nathan answered while looking at her.

"How is that," she laughed confused. "…how is that ironic?" She glanced at him and he looked away.

"Well, because that used to be my role, right? I mean this whole thing started just because I was trying to mess with Lucas. It's just kind of weird, is all." He was looking up but he could still feel her eyes on him. It was a minute later when she looked away and turned her face away from him.

The silence that followed made him a little uncomfortable. Why wasn't she saying anything? Her hands were pressed together over her chest and it wasn't long before he felt the bed shift and then she was sitting up.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Haley asked unsteadily. She was facing away from him and he quickly glanced towards her, his eyes finding nothing but her back. She seemed a little upset. Her body was suddenly tense and he couldn't help but feel nervous.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "About what?"

"About the way that we started?"

He sat up quickly. "Nothing…just when I first came to you…for tutoring, I figured the easiest way to mess with Lucas was to hook up…with you." She was still looking at him confused and it was making his heart pound in his chest. Then her face became angry.

"So everything between us has been a lie?"

What? "No, that's not –"

"I cannot believe this. Lucas was right about you all along."

"No, you've got it all wrong," Nathan protested as she stood up glaring at him. He stood up as well and before he could say anything else someone was knocking on her door. It opened a second later and her mother popped her head inside of the room, smiling.

"Dinner's almost ready. Nathan are you staying?" Lydia asked sweetly.

"No," Haley answered quickly glaring at him. "Nathan was just leaving."

"Ok," Lydia nodded. "Well, Nathan, you can use the front door now, you know. No need to climb out of the window again today." He smiled nervously as she sent him a pointed look before she closed the door behind her. Once she was gone, Haley glanced away from him.

"You should leave," Haley whispered.

"Hales, I didn't mean it like that. You know I didn't."

She was shaking her head. "This whole time…everything…a lie." He could barely make out her words as he made it around her bed and towards her. He carefully reached out for her shoulder and when he finally touched it she jumped away from him, like he burned her. His whole body was tense now.

"Don't touch me," Haley whispered.

"Hales, you're taking this the wrong way. I didn't mean it like that…will you please just look at me so I can apologize?" Nathan asked hoarsely. She turned slowly and then he finally saw her face and his eyes dropped down to her cheeks. They were wet from the tears rolling down and the sight sent a sharp pain to his heart. What the hell was happening?

"You're not the person I thought you were," Haley muttered as their eyes locked.

He looked down ashamed. "Hales, you got it all wrong."

"So you weren't using me to get back at your brother?" Haley shouted.

He searched for the right words but he couldn't find any. His mouth was dry and as he looked up he noticed her looking away from him. She was still crying and he could feel the sharp pain in his heart become more painful. What could he say that would make this better? This had all started because of Lucas...He couldn't think of anything to say.

"That's what I thought. Get out," Haley mumbled. "I can't even look at you. Just go."

Stupidly, he had left. If he had known that it would be the last time he would see her then he would have stayed. But like an idiot he left. He didn't try to make things better. He just figured that he would the next day. He hadn't seen her again until now. The last image he had of her was of her crying. He had made her cry. That image was burned into his mind. He never forgot that moment when he ruined everything.

He had been a stupid child back then. His hate for Lucas had made the whole situation worse because he hated their relationship back then. He hated the fact that she cared more for his brother than him. It was petty now that he thought back on it, but back then it wasn't to him. He had hated Lucas with everything in him.

If he had known how much her leaving would have destroyed him, then maybe he wouldn't have laughed when she needed to talk. He wouldn't have been a jerk. He would have been there for her. Like a boyfriend should have been there for their girlfriend.

Yes, at first he was just using her. He hated to admit it but it was the truth. But somewhere along the way it became real –they became real. He needed her to know that. He had to make her see. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't tell her. He didn't want her thinking that he didn't care.

It wasn't a game to him. His feelings for her were real. He hadn't faked a minute of that and just the thought that she thought that made him sick. Their relationship had been anything but a lie. It had been perfect. At least, for him. She was perfect.

He was broke out of his thoughts by the sound of a car. He glanced down the road and noticed Peyton's car making its way towards Haley's house. No matter how much his brother tried, Peyton wasn't getting rid of that car. What was Peyton doing here?

If it was possible, it was raining harder than before. He tried his best to see inside the car but he couldn't see a thing. Once the door opened and she stepped out, he stood up. The car drove away. Before she even made her way towards the house, she was soaking wet. Her dress was clinging to her body. He tried to focus his eyes on her face and not on her breasts. He could almost see them perfectly. She made it in front of him, her chest heaving just as fast as his. Did she have any idea how sexy she looked wet? He swallowed the lump in his throat. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Nathan, what are you doing out here? Are you trying to catch pneumonia?" Haley asked looking at him like he was stupid.

"If that's what it takes," Nathan shouted over the rain.

She made a move to walk past him but he quickly blocked her. Another roll of thunder hit but he didn't move this time. He stood his ground. He wasn't going to give up that easily, not after waiting in this storm for her. Not after everything Taylor had said to him. No way.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're ok."

"I'm fine, Nathan. Now, go home." She made another move to pass him but he wasn't letting her walk away from him again. He wasn't about to let her run again. She glowered at him before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Not until you hear me out." He stood there determined.

Her brows knit together as beads of water rolled down them. "Whatever."

The fear of her rejecting him was slowly seeping through him. And even though that's exactly what he expected her to do, it still didn't make this easy. This was hard. Standing in front of her like this was hard. Being vulnerable again was hard. He hadn't let himself be that way ever, until her. This was frustrating.

"Look, I'm sorry about…everything. I –"

"You have got to be kidding me?" Haley asked as she finally locked eyes with him. Then, before he could stop her, she pushed him out of the way before she made it up the steps and onto the porch. Her keys were in the door a second later as he rushed up the steps to meet her.

"Go home, Nathan."

"No, I want to talk," Nathan stated as he stood behind her. She quickly walked into the house and started to close the door. He panicked for a second before speaking. "I'm not leaving. I'm going to stay right here until you let me explain. I don't care if I have to stay out here all night long. I'm not going anywhere."

She glared at him, her eyes burning with fire. If looks could kill, he thought amused. His body was still shaking and he crossed his arms together as he stood there glaring back at her. At least, the rain wasn't still hitting him. It somehow only made his body colder. He was shivering. But he wasn't about to lose his resolve.

Her eyes never left his and he knew what she was thinking. She was wondering if he really meant what he said. She could just close the door and find out. He would sit here until she came out and talked with him. He wasn't bluffing. Finally, with one last glare, she left the door opened before walking away. His whole body was jumping with relief.

He smiled triumphantly. Certainly, he didn't win the war, but he was winning the battle. He walked into the house a second later, closing the door behind him. The heat took him all at once and he closed his eyes at feeling something other than freezing rain. He stood by the door as she marched back down the stairs with two towels in her hands. She threw one at him before she made her way down the hall. He followed her while drying himself along the way. She was doing the same. His eyes couldn't help but travel down to her ass. She was still walking.

Once she was done, she opened a closet door. She was inside several minutes before she reappeared in the hallway. She held out her hands with clothes in it. He took them and smiled at her. She was being nice.

"You should change into this so you don't get sick," Haley muttered before walking away. She disappeared out of the hallway and he knew that she was going change as well. That thought had his heart pounding and he wanted to follow her.

He made his way down the hall towards the bathroom. Once he was inside he quickly took off his wet clothes. They were clinging to his body and once they were off and the cool air hit his wet skin, he shivered. It felt good to be out of them. He dried himself quickly before placing on the grey sweatpants that she had given him. Then he placed on the light blue UNC shirt on. Was she trying to be funny? He remembered her saying that one of her brothers attended there. Brad maybe or it might have been Mark. He couldn't remember.

He glanced at himself in the mirror. His hands instantly moved up to his hair as he pushed it back. He wiped it again with the towel before tossing the towel in the hamper a few feet away. The warmth of his newly pair of clothes had his body feeling better. He wasn't shaking as much now and it was getting warmer by the second. He balled up his wet clothes and placed them in the hamper as well. No need to make her floor wet, too.

The bathroom was clean after he left it.

The living room was just as he remembered it and he took a seat on the sofa, waiting for her. When he heard a noise from the kitchen he quickly stood up and walked towards that way. He wasn't about to let her ignore him. She was standing in front of the stove and he stayed standing in the door way. She didn't even look at him. God, she looked good.

"I feel like a traitor wearing this, you know." He glanced down at the Tar Heel symbol and made a face before looking at her. She was smiling. She was messing with him. He couldn't help but smile back at her.

Her smile quickly faded. "Didn't your brother go there?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm a Blue Devil. Besides, he didn't play for them," Nathan pointed out.

She ignored his comment and held out a coffee mug for him. He walked quickly toward the steaming cup and took it from her hands. She made sure that their hands didn't touch. It was warm and he loved the way it felt against his cold hand. His fingers were still kind of numb. He brought it to his mouth and took a sip. The taste of hot chocolate filled his mouth and he closed his eyes. As he swallowed, the hot liquid seemed to warm up his chest. It felt amazing. He quickly took another sip. It was good.

"Why are you doing this?" Haley whispered.

He opened his eyes and was met with her sad ones. Finally, he could feel his heart beating in his chest. His blood started flowing again. He could feel the color returning to his face. He was warm now. All this just from looking at her. How did she do this to him? He could never understand it. Out of every single woman he had ever met in his life, none of them make him feel a fraction as to what Haley made him feel.

She stood there looking really hot. Her hair was still wet and now it was curly from the rain. She was wearing some long cotton sleep pants and a white t-shirt that fit her tightly. Even in pajama's she looked sexy. His eyes finally found hers. Her beautiful brown eyes were as perfect as he remembered them. He was losing himself in them.

"You never let me explain. You just left, Haley," Nathan muttered.

"What is there to say, Nathan? You used me to get back at your brother. I was just something that you used in your little game. Why are you making me relive this?" Haley asked angrily as she glared at him. The sadness was gone and now she was furious. Her eyes were boring into his and he couldn't help but breathe hard.

"It wasn't a game, ok? I wasn't like that for me," Nathan tried to explain.

"Like hell it wasn't. I hate you!" Haley shouted. A loud roll of thunder hit and just like that all the lights went out. Good sign or bad, he thought? The whole room was dark and Nathan reached for the counter. Once he felt it, he placed the cup down. No need to panic, he told himself. He had been expecting this. It's part of the reason why he came here. He quickly pushed all his questions about them aside before calming himself.

"Do you have any flashlights?" Nathan asked quickly.

"Uh, I don't know," Haley said nervously. "I think my dad used to store them in the garage, but I'm not sure if they'll have any."

"Ok," Nathan mumbled into the darkness. "It's just a blackout."

"Easy for you to say," Haley muttered under her breath.

He rolled his eyes even though she couldn't see. "I'll go see if I can find anything. You should probably go sit in the living room. Do you need me to walk you there?"

"I think I can find it," Haley snapped. "It is my house after all."

Her body hit him as she passed, and he felt a jolt electricity surge through his body. It was enough to finish warming up everything inside of him. He wondered if she felt it too? She cursed under her breath and it was seconds later that he couldn't hear her footsteps anymore. He couldn't help but smile. Yeah, the situation sucked. She didn't want him here but he wasn't going to let that ruin his mood. Blackout or no blackout, they were stuck here together until the storm was over. All he wanted was to tell her how sorry he was.

He remembered her house well. On occasion when her parents weren't home they would come out of her room. On one trip she had brought him play ping-pong in the garage. He made a mental note to watch out for the game table. He didn't need to hurt himself. The laundry room led to the garage and he opened the door and walked inside. There were two windows and even though it was dark outside, it gave him just enough light to see. He noticed the ping-pong table a few feet away and he moved on the side of it until he was by Mr. James' shelves.

He searched through everything but all he found was a lighter. Maybe, she would know were some candles were. He reluctantly walked back inside the house. The news of no flashlight would probably only piss her off more. He lit the lighter as he made his way down the dark hall. He didn't need to crash into any of her mothers' things and break something. She was sitting on the sofa with a scowl on her face and pillow on her lap when he walked in.

"You don't happen to know where any candles would be, would you?" Nathan asked timidly as she glanced away. She stood up and stalked out of the dark room.

It was minutes later when she finally returned.

She shoved a few candles into his hands before she returned to her spot on the sofa. He lit them quickly before placing one on the coffee table beside the sofa. He took the other two and placed them in a few different places to try and light up the room. It worked. Everything seemed to be in a light glow.

She was still glaring at nothing. Her body was still tense and he knew that she was still angry with him. What would she have done if he hadn't been here? He closed his eyes at the thought. No one should be alone. He didn't want to be alone. He was glad that he came. He sat himself down on the floor, his eyes never leaving her.

The storm outside seemed to rage on.

~***~

The first hour was complete silence. The only thing he could hear was the storm outside and her breathing. She hadn't breathed a word or even glanced his way. He sat in the chair across from her, his eyes never leaving her body. He couldn't look away.

It felt like time had literally stopped and kept them here.

Everything was moving too slow. He was bored. It was uncomfortable. So many times he had opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it instead. What would he say? He had checked his cell phone so many times but he wasn't getting a signal. He hoped everything was ok with everyone else. Jordan was probably getting a kick out of the blackout. He chuckled at the thought. The twins were probably driving Brooke crazy. He wouldn't put it past them.

With the electricity out for so long, it was starting to get cold inside.

He noticed the small stack off wood next to the fireplace and he instantly stood up. Without a second thought he placed them inside of the fireplace. It was several minutes later when the fire started and the room lit up better. He could already feel the heat. He knelt in front of the fire pleased with himself.

He heard moving and a second later she was sitting in front of the fire, too. She was shaking slightly as she placed her head on her knees and glanced away from him. He stood up and walked towards the sofa. There was a small white afghan blanket hanging halfway off of it. He took it and walked over towards her. He placed it around her shoulders and made sure to cover her up. Then, without thinking about it, his hand moved to her back and he started rubbing it softly. This time she didn't move away from his touch. It felt amazing to be touching her like this.

"What's taking them so long? How hard can it be to fix?"

"I'm sure they're working on it," Nathan muttered, his eyes returning to the fire. He wasn't in a rush to get anywhere. In fact, the silence wasn't half that bad –as long as she was here. He could stay like this.

"Why are you so calm?" Haley asked suddenly while glancing sideways at him.

His hand left her back and he slowly brought it to his side. "I don't mind being alone with you."

He smiled at her.

"Thank you...for starting the fire. It was getting pretty cold," Haley muttered softly. "You're shaking...sit closer to the fire."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "It's not from the cold." He couldn't help the husky tone of his voice. His eyes locked with hers.

Without a word she turned away from him again. The silence dragged on. Eventually his eyes left the fire and glanced at his watch. Had another hour really gone by?

It had. The heat from the fireplace was slowly making him sweat and compared to being freezing in the rain he liked this better. It was hot enough to move away but that meant that he wouldn't be so close to her. He stayed where he was.

His stomach growled and it was only then that he remembered how hungry he was. The last thing he ate was a sandwich that Sam made for them after they boarded up the windows. Julian had offered him another one but he had been in a rush to get here. Thinking about it now made his mouth water and his stomach growled again. He needed something.

"You wouldn't happen to have anything to eat, would you?" He chuckled slightly when she glanced at him. He lifted his head off of the pillows and sat halfway up.

She didn't say anything as she stood up and he quickly did the same. He reached for two of the candles on the way out. The light from the windows was enough to see very clearly. Once they were in the kitchen, he placed the candles down on the counter. She moved around the kitchen looking in the cabinets. He waited.

"Captain Crunch?" She held the container in her hand with the cereal.

"That's fine," Nathan nodded. Anything would be fine.

"Sorry, about the lack of food. Taylor had a few friends over before she left and they sort of ate everything else," Haley muttered as she reached for two bowls. Then she quickly got the rest of the milk out of the refrigerator. It was still cold and she placed it in front of him before reaching for two spoons. She took a seat next to him on the barstools. "I'm sorry about Taylor and whatever she said to you. You shouldn't listen to her. She's got a big mouth and she needs to mind her own business."

He nodded.

He fixed his bowl and then started eating. Once he was done, he still felt the same and fixed another one. They ate in silence and after his third bowl he wiped his mouth. His stomach seemed good enough and he pushed the bowl away from him before taking a deep breath.

"So Taylor left, huh?" Nathan asked casually. He wasn't going to lie. He was happy about that. Taylor hated him and there was no way that she would have been ok with him staying here tonight, storm or no storm. His ass would have been stuck outside.

Haley nodded. "She had to get back to her life."

"Why did she come with you?" Nathan asked shyly.

He watched as she finally pushed her bowl away as well. She didn't seem angry as she was before. She seemed almost resigned. Did that mean she was finally ready to hear him out? He smiled instantly, his eyes glued to her. Just the fact that she was talking to him made him happy.

"She was afraid of what might happen to me," Haley answered matter-of-factly. "She thought that it would be like before –that I would be like before." She quickly corrected.

"Oh," Nathan breathed. He didn't know why but his heart started pounding in his chest and blood started flowing through his veins at a rapid speed. Her words had this effect on him and he found himself gripping the edge of the counter for support. Somehow he didn't like the direction of this. He braced himself as she continued.

"After it happened, I sort of was out of it for a while," Haley muttered. "My whole family is worried that it will happen again now that I'm back. I tried to tell them that I'm different but they don't seem to care. They think it'll happen again but it won't. I know it won't. I won't let it." He could hear the determination in her voice. It was like she was so sure.

"And by it you mean me?" Nathan asked carefully.

She nodded. "I won't let you hurt me again." Her eyes closed as if she was feeling some kind of pain just by saying it.

"I'm not going to hurt you again," Nathan whispered. "I'm not."

"You won't," Haley agreed. "I won't give you the chance." She turned to face him, their eyes locking. Her brown eyes were somehow darker, harder. In them he saw nothing but determination. She wasn't going to let her resolve slip either. That's what her look meant. He shivered.

"Hales –"

"Getting over you was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do, Nathan," Haley whispered sadly. "What you did to me nearly killed me. I won't let you destroy me again. I just won't. You got what you wanted. You hurt me. You won your little game." She said the last part bitterly.

"It wasn't a game for me," Nathan stated truthfully. "You weren't a game to me. At first, yes, I only went to you for tutoring to hurt Lucas." She flinched but continued. "But you…I don't know, Hales. You changed my mind about it. I found myself talking to you more than I talked to anyone and I forgot about it. I really did. Talking to you was so easy. I could be myself and not put on the face that everyone expected. I was just Nathan and I loved being just Nathan. Whenever you were around I forgot about everything else...it was just us."

"It doesn't matter," Haley mumbled shaking her head.

"Yes, it does," Nathan continued. "You think that I used you but you're wrong. That Nathan doesn't exist anymore and that's because of you. Because you changed me. You made that guy go away. You saved me, Hales. Please, you have to believe me."

"Stop it," Haley suddenly shouted as she stood up. He did the same. Her back was facing him and he could tell that she was shaking again. Then he heard a small whimper escape her lips and something inside of him snapped. He took a brave step closer. He couldn't stop. Not now.

"No," Nathan said intensely. "You saved my life. You made me good. You changed my world. Did you know that? Did you know that you changed me? Knowing you changed me, so no, I can't just stop. Not until you understand that I wasn't using you!" He was shouting now. He couldn't help it.

"Nathan, please just stop."

"You think it wasn't hard for me to lose you? You think that I felt nothing? I felt like I had nothing left to live for," Nathan shouted back. "You just left, Haley. You left me all alone and you didn't even let me explain. You were just gone! You just ran away from us the first chance you got. You have no idea what that did to me!"

"Why the hell are you doing this to me?" Haley whispered again. "I don't understand why..."

"Because I was in love you with. I'm in love with you," Nathan corrected. He reached out then, taking her elbow in his hand roughly, before swinging her around to face him. His lips landed on to hers fiercely. The feel of her lips was overwhelming. The memory of her lips wasn't nearly as good as this. The taste of her was just as he remembered. Nothing was better than kissing her. His hand let go of her arm and it made it to her neck holding her to him. Both her arms fell to her sides as he moved his mouth over hers. She stood there motionless as he kissed her. She wasn't kissing him back but at least she wasn't pushing him away either. She was just letting him. His hands found her waist and pulled her more into him as he shoved his tongue into her mouth. He pressed his body into hers.

His hand reached up to her cheek as he caressed it before tilting her head slightly. He kissed her deeper, his eyes on her face the whole time. Slowly her eyes fluttered close and she started kissing him back. Only then did he let his eyes close as he kissed her with everything in him. He was still kissing her hard, he couldn't help it. He was clutching her face hard in his hands as his lips moved over hers. This was all so intoxicating. She was intoxicating. After not having her for so long, this wasn't nearly enough. He kissed her deeper.

They weren't nearly close enough.

When he finally felt her tongue brush against his, he nearly lost the little self control he had left. He pushed her waist into his, making their bodies touch fully once again. He removed his hand from her face and brought it down to her waist. He lifted her up easily until she was sitting on the counter top. Her legs parted for him and he moved quickly in between them, settling himself there. Then his hands were on her face again, holding her to him. Their kisses only grew more heated. He was losing himself in her. This couldn't be happening, but somehow it was. He groaned when he felt her body move closer to his.

He felt her warm hands on his shoulders holding him to her. She was kissing him back.

Then finally when air became an issue he reluctantly pulled away from her warm lips. Their heavy panting filled the air and instantly he brushed her hair to the side before he started kissing her neck. His lips needed to be touching her. He placed kisses up and down. Her hot skin felt amazing on his lips. He could feel the spark between them every time he touched her. He knew she felt it too. He placed a soft kiss under her ear. His hands moved to her waist and he slightly pulled up her shirt. His hands touched the warm skin of her stomach and he felt her tremble. He had missed this.

"You don't know how much I want you," Nathan whispered huskily.

That's when he felt her body tense up. He slowly removed his lips from her skin. His lips instantly felt cold without the feel of her. He glanced up at her face and it was only then that he realized she was crying. What had he done? He quickly removed his hands from her skin and she flinched.

Something about the look on her face had an old memory flash in his mind.

This had happened before. They had been making out in her room and he had pushed her too far. It got to the point to where she had to ask him to leave. He had felt horrible afterwards. It wasn't his fault. Really it wasn't. When he was around her like this he lost track of…himself. He didn't know anything but his want for her. It somehow always seemed to take over. He was always in a daze. He really didn't know how she did that to him.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…" His words trailed off as she closed her eyes.

She shook her head. "No, I'm the one that's sorry. I shouldn't have..."

She was broken. He could feel it. He could see it. His eyes finally moved from her tearstained cheeks to her eyes. Those soulful brown orbs were swirling with nothing but pain and sadness. It felt like someone reached in and squeezed his heart. It was aching with pain. How was it possible to be blissfully happy one moment and then the next feel like this? It wasn't fair.

The anguish was only worse while looking at her broken face.

He had just promised not to hurt her ever again and here she was hurting because of him.

In an instant he hated himself. Why couldn't he have stayed to himself? Why did he touch her to begin with? He knew that she didn't want this. She had just told him that she wasn't going to let him hurt her again. Why didn't he listen?

He let his own needs and wants get the best of him. He quickly took a step back before looking down. He couldn't look into those sad eyes again. It would kill him. He felt the revulsion he felt for himself flowing throughout him. It was everywhere. His fists balled up at his sides.

She carefully moved herself off of the countertop before walking out of the kitchen. He stood there for minutes. He shouldn't have come here. His face was hard with hate for himself as he slowly walked out of the kitchen. He made it through the darkened hallway a minute later. He stopped for a second and noticed her lying in front of the fireplace as he had been not that long ago. Her head was resting on the pillows as she faced sideways from the fireplace. Tears were still rolling down her cheeks freely. Her legs were up, her knees bent. He ached to go over to her and make things better. But he only seemed to make things worse.

Putting his head down, he headed for the door. The storm was still raging outside and once he was off the porch he felt the sting of the rain against his skin. He took off walking in the direction of home. It didn't matter what happened to him now. Nothing could compare to what he felt on the inside. Nothing would ever come close to this anguish. Would it ever go away? The stinging rain was hitting him hard once again. In the distance he noticed the lights come back on. He made his way back home. She would be fine now. She didn't need him. She never did.