This chapter gets pretty dark, as we will be delving more into Inez's experiences with Hacker and her recovery. Enjoy, but be aware that there are some harsh topics discussed here.

He could not stop staring. The girl before him was so familiar, and yet drastically different. The pizza had arrived ten minutes ago, but Matt had yet to take a bite. How could he eat with Inez sitting next to him? He had always thought that when she returned from the sanitarium, she would look just as she had before. But it was now very apparent that the person next to him was not a fourteen year old girl, but a young woman in her early twenties.

"Matt?" Jackie's voice startled him out of his stupor. She raised an eyebrow, knowing he hadn't been paying attention. "Is that okay with you?"

Unsure what he was being asked, Matt found himself nodding. "Sure," he replied. "Sounds good."

"Great!" Jackie said cheerfully, turning back to Inez. "Then us girls will go out to get Inez some clothes while you and Slider move everything into Inez's room!"

Matt looked to Slider for help, but found the more muscular youth smirking at him. The conversation was over before it began. "Okay," Matt sighed, reaching to finally start eating his food.

"I can't remember the last time I had pizza," Inez said as she nibbled on a piece of crust. Matt felt his heart jump at the sound of her voice.

Slider chuckled. "Did they not feed you at the sanitarium?"

Matt cringed. Couldn't Slider show a bit more decorum? Yes, they all knew where Inez had been for the last few months, but did they really need to confront the issue so head on?

Inez laughed brightly, surprising Matt. "It was all healthy food. I was severely underweight and deficient in just about every kind of nutrient, so everything I ate was carefully organized to keep me healthy. The doctors said I gained thirty pounds while in treatment, but I'm still barely in the range of healthy weights for my height."

"Well then we'll just have to get you more pizza!" Jackie laughed, dropping another slice onto Inez's plate. The air in Slider's kitchen was casual and filled with laughter, but Matt couldn't help but notice Inez's wandering eyes, the way her foot kept tapping nervously. As she nodded along to the story Jackie was telling, she seemed to space out every few seconds. It was almost as though her mind kept switching back and forth between her inner thoughts and the present situation.

"Matt," Slider said, tapping his friend's arm gently. "Help me get the dishes." As the two boys moved to the sink, leaving the girls to talk at the table, Slider lowered his voice so only Matt could hear him. "You've gotta stop staring at her, man."

"What are you talking about?" Matt replied, straining to sound casual.

Slider chuckled. "You haven't taken your eyes off Inez all night."

"And here I thought I was being subtle," Matt muttered, scrubbing a dish with unnecessary ferocity.

"Hey, don't take it out on the plates," Slider joked, plucking the abused dish from Matt's grasp. "I don't think Inez noticed, but all that staring is starting to get creepy."

Matt grumbled. "She looks really different, okay? It's a lot to get used to."

"She's still Inez though," Slider reasoned. "Whether she looks different or not, she's still the same girl we've known since we were kids."

"Thanks," Matt said with a small smile. "That actually helps."

Jackie stood from the table and stretched, raising her arms above her head. Inez stood as well, pausing to push her chair in politely. "We're going to head out," Jackie announced as she moved towards the door, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

"Remind me why they can't wait until tomorrow to shop?" Matt muttered to Slider, who snickered quietly as the girls left the house.

"Inez doesn't have any clothes to wear," Slider explained as he loaded the last of the dishes onto the rack to dry. "Everything from before her stay in Sensible Flats doesn't fit anymore. She said what she's wearing now was actually borrowed from a nurse at the sanitarium."

"Geez," Matt said, staring at the door the girls had just left through. "Hopefully they find something before the malls close for the night."

Slider tossed a pair of work gloves at Matt, who caught them with quick reflexes. "You mean, hopefully we finish setting up Inez's room before the girls finish shopping!"

As it turned out, there wasn't too much work to be done. Jackie had gone to the liberty of raiding Inez's room back on Earth to bring over boxes of books, photographs, and other personal effects. The room already had the bare bones furniture of a bed, desk, and dresser, it simply required a bit of dressing up. Once the boys had managed to haul the boxes to their destination, they began setting up the room. The bed was dressed with Inez's blankets from home, and framed photos were hung on the wall. Knowing Inez's love for literature, Jackie had brought over an entire box of books, a box that took twenty minutes to unload.

"Ah, crap." Slider shook his head in disappointment as he flipped the switch on the lamp back and forth. "Something's broken in here. I'll take it down to the garage and see if I can fix it. You good here?"

Matt nodded from his position on the floor, surrounded by books. "I'll finish setting up."

Left alone in the room, Matt finished arranging the books from Earth onto the bookshelf him and Slider had installed. Once that task was finished, Matt opened the last box, a small container of items Inez had brought from the sanitarium. Two long nightgowns and bathrobes were neatly folded on top of a pair of pink fuzzy slippers. Matt placed the clothes in the dresser, then began to assess the miscellaneous items. A pen, a box of band-aids, a small bag for toiletries, and a few books. Matt skimmed the titles out of curiosity, spotting an anxiety workbook, two fantasy novels that appeared to be part of a series, and a blank hardback with no title of any sort. Matt opened the unmarked book to see that it was a diary with the name Liz Weber written inside.

"Liz Weber?" Matt muttered, furrowing his brow as he began to skim the pages. Inez had mentioned a roommate, so maybe the diary belonged to that girl, and was accidentally dropped in with Inez's belongings. Now, Matt knew that to read this girl's diary would be a serious invasion of her privacy...but he couldn't help but be curious. Over dinner, Inez had told jokes about the food and living arrangements at the sanitarium, but hadn't said anything regarding her actual experience there. Maybe her roommate had written some comments about Inez, something to give Matt a clue as to how she had managed to transform from a girl gone feral with paranoia to the composed young woman he had just had dinner with. The entries were not dated, but then again, who knew when Inez had entered this girl's life? Matt began to read, keeping a sharp eye out for any mention of Inez. The first entry was written in choppy handwriting, the letters blurring together with the writer's haste.

He's going to find me. He's going to take me back. I think I want to go back. It's too hard, being out here. There's nothing to numb my brain, to make me black out for a while. The nightmares happen even when I'm awake. She said she would visit me. Can I trust her? Can I trust anyone? The doctors say they want to help but they won't let me leave. I'm a prisoner.

Matt was already confused. Writing off the entry as the entry of an insane woman, he continued reading. She did not write daily entries, appearing to use the diary only occasionally.

I found a flask in my nurse's purse. She doesn't know I took it. I've been staring at it for three hours. Every fiber of my being is telling me to drink it now, but I know better than that by now. You have to save stuff like this for when you need it. When you need to forget.

The handwriting improved marginally, but was still shaky and uneven. Apparently this woman had a drinking problem. Matt frowned, hoping that this roommate had not been a bad influence on Inez's recovery. The next entry was written very neatly, and in a different color ink.

My therapist says I should be more open about my feelings. The problem is, I don't have any feelings. The pills make everything seem so distant, so dull. On the bright side, I haven't had a panic attack in two weeks.

Matt raised his eyebrows. Inez had not mentioned any medications...he shook his head with a smile. Meds like that were reserved for the really crazy ones, people like this girl. Inez was never that bad, she couldn't have been. She had been improving when she stayed at Control Central, just from being around friends. At least, she had been until that night when Matt...he shook his head, avoiding those thoughts, working to escape the guilt. The next entry featured a return to the choppy, blurred handwriting from the first entry. Matt took his time, struggling to understand the almost illegible writing.

Another nightmare. Him. Always him. Back on the ship. Another experiment. Another night. He hurt me. Again. I woke up, drank the whole flask. Whisky.

Definitely an alcoholic. A sense of deja vu entered Matt's brain, telling him that he was missing something important.

So the doctors gave me a roommate. Her name is Caroline. She looks like a scarecrow. They said I could use a friend, but I think she's more of a babysitter. She keeps telling me to eat, and wants to petition to repaint the walls from white to pink. I caught her going through my stuff yesterday.

The handwriting was neat and tidy this time, and even featured a small doodle that Matt guessed was supposed to represent Caroline. Matt forced himself to assume that Caroline must have been Liz's first roommate, before she was put with Inez. Or maybe Liz was never Inez's roommate, just a friend of hers. There were no other possibilities as to who this Liz girl could be, Matt thought, struggling to ignore the logic forcing itself through his stubbornness. Shifting his eyes to the next entry, Matt felt himself freeze.

Jackie visited me today. She told me about her latest date with Slider, new stuff with celebrities...I didn't really know what she was talking about, but it was nice to do something other than talk about my issues for once. After she left, a nurse said that she liked the sound of my laugh. That made me smile.

"No," Matt breathed, reading the entry over and over until the words blurred together into a single statement that screamed its way through his forced naivety - this diary belonged to Inez.

I met a guy. His name is George. He's tall, with blond hair and green eyes. He's in group therapy with me. His uncle abused him when he was a little. George is a drug addict. He's only twenty-five but he seems older. He asked me why I didn't share. I told him I'm not ready yet, and he didn't pry. I should talk to my therapist.

A guy? Inez had never mentioned a guy. Were they friends? More than friends? Who was this guy, and why was he important enough to make it into Inez's diary? Matt was suddenly struck by the fact that he was undeniably jealous of a drug addict.

Therapist said that it's okay to share in group therapy, I just have to avoid using names. He's the only one who knows who I really am here. Everyone else calls me Liz. Even my diary says Liz Weber on it.

That would explain the name on the diary, it was her cover. Matt vaguely remembered Doctor Marbles explaining that no one could know Inez's true identity for fear of Hacker taking her back. The entries appeared to be getting closer together in the assumed timeline, the handwriting becoming neat and organized.

So...I told my story in group. George held my hand while I talked. I told them that I was traded into slavery for six years and just got out of it. Apparently one of the girls in group, Amanda, has a sister who was a slave for a few months. I told them about the experiments, the beatings, the rape...three people started crying during my story. I didn't cry, but afterwards, I noticed that I couldn't stop shaking. My nerves didn't calm down until dinner.

Matt closed the book as a violent wave of nausea overtook him. How had Hacker become such a monster? How could he do those things to Inez. Anger overtook Matt, a blind rage that screamed justice for Inez, the death penalty for Hacker. He forced himself to take a deep breath and think logically. There was no way of preventing what had already happened. All he could do now was keep reading. Matt opened the book with anxious force.

It's past midnight but I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about how I shared in group today. I feel guilty for not telling the whole story. I told them about what he did, but I didn't say a word about all the things I did. I didn't tell them about the drinking, or the dancing, or the dresses I wore and how I wore the dark red lipstick he said the boys liked best...how the hell do you explain working as a hooker for your abuser?

Numb horror had replaced the initial shock. Despite all the abuse Inez had endured, Matt had always continued to see Inez as an innocent victim with a pure soul. Matt forced himself to keep reading, ignoring the tremors in his hands.

I miss my mom. I know it hasn't even been a week for her, but still. Even after all this is over, I probably won't ever be able to go back to Earth. There's no way I can explain having aged this much. I looked in the mirror today and didn't recognize my reflection. I'll turn twenty-one in just a few months, but I won't be drinking. After the incident with the flask, they declared me a full fledged alcoholic. I don't think my mom would want me if she knew who I had become.

Matt furrowed his brow. Jackie had been managing the job of keeping Inez's mom from worrying...but what was their long term strategy? Did they even have on? The next entry was written in loopy handwriting that indicated a sense of relaxed freedom.

The doctors said I can leave any time I want. The other patients held a little party for me, with cake and everything. Caroline gave me a new pen, and George gave me some new books. He told me he wants to start a book club for the patients and invited me to come back and lead it. I'm really going to miss him. He's been my best friend here. My therapist gave me his phone number and told me to call if I needed him. The nurse who I stole the flask from, she offered to let me borrow some of her clothes since none of my old things fit anymore. As happy as I am to be seeing my friends soon, I'm going to miss this place. It feels like I was just starting to get settled, and now I have to leave. I think I'll take George up on his offer. This place needs a good book club.

What exactly made George so special? Matt shook his head to dispel the petty jealous thoughts that were pushing their way in, and focused on the facts of this diary. Inez would be turning twenty one in a few months. That meant she was almost seven years older than Matt, who suddenly felt very childish at the age of sixteen. Inez was an alcoholic. While living with Hacker, she had been beaten, raped, experimented on, and forced to prostitute herself. She suffered from panic attacks, and had been put on serious medication while in treatment.

Matt picked up the small bag he had assumed contained toiletries. It was made of dark cloth, with a thin zipper keeping it closed. With a sudden fervor, Matt flipped the bag upside down to dump its contents onto the bed. Lip balm, tampons and sanitary pads, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb...and three small bottles of pills. He examined the bottles in a futile effort to understand their purposes, knowing that he had no chance of being able to decipher the medical jargon imprinted on the label.

The sound of the front door being unlocked snapped Matt back to reality. He hurried to shove everything back into the small bag, fumbling with every item as footsteps and voices drew closer. The diary still lay open on the bedspread. In a moment of panic, Matt slipped the book into the back of his waistband, tucking it under his shirt.

"Hey!" he cried jovially, leaning against the dresser awkwardly as he worked to keep his back to the wall. Jackie and Inez both toted a number of shopping bags and dropped them unceremoniously on the floor as they paused to survey the newly decorated bedroom. Slider entered with a triumphant smile, carrying the lamp like it was his own child.

"I fixed the lamp!" Slider announced victoriously, sliding past the girls to plug the lamp into the wall, illuminating the formerly dim room.

"Thank you so much for setting all this up," Inez said, looking between the two boys with a grateful smile. "It means a lot to me that you guys are trying to make this place more of a home for me."

Matt smiled awkwardly, feeling the weight of the journal pressing onto his conscious. "Anything for you, Nezzie."

Again, that distracted expression came over Inez as she seemed to unfocus from reality briefly. She moved to gaze at the pictures on the wall. "Where did these come from?" she asked.

"They're from your room on Earth," Jackie said.

Inez seemed confused at Jackie's words. "My room...oh, right. I forgot about that. Sorry, it's been a while since I was in the real world." She smiled sweetly, but Jackie and Matt were unnerved by her words. It was easy to forget how much time had passed there in Cyberspace, how many years of experience Inez now had compared to them.

"Do you want to put on some of your new clothes?" Jackie asked brightly, an obvious attempt to change the conversation topic. Inez nodded, and Jackie led the boys in evacuating the room. Out in the kitchen, Matt leaned back against the wall awkwardly, the journal's sharp corners beginning to grind into his back. Jackie and Slider retreated to the living room to watch a movie, obviously desiring some alone time as a couple. Matt hovered by Inez's door awkwardly, guilt weighing on his conscious.

Finally, Matt forced himself to knock on the door. "Inez?" he called quietly, not wanting to arouse suspicion from Jackie and Slider. "Are you decent?"

"Yeah," she called back. "You can come in, I'm just hanging stuff up."

Matt steeled himself and entered the bedroom, immediately struck by how different Inez looked. She had changed into a pair of shorts with a white tank top that featured a purple Radopolis logo. The closet in her room was now filled with clothes, and she had placed a lineup of shoes against the wall. Inez had put on a pair of high top sneakers and tied her hair back into a messy ponytail, with strands falling down to frame her face.

"You, uh, you look good," Matt stuttered, feeling the heat of a blush already conquering his cheeks. "I mean, the clothes look good. You bought good stuff."

Inez shot him a smile that made him question her motivations in inviting him into her room. "Thanks. Did you need something, or is this just a social call?"

Matt pulled the journal out to hold it in front of him. "I...I found your journal. I didn't recognize the name in it, so I didn't realize it was yours."

She paused, her eyes flitting back and forth between Matt's shame filled face and the journal. Finally, she took the book from him and placed it on top of her dresser. "And you read it," she stated, crossing her arms to regard him coolly. Matt shook his head in defeat.

"I'm sorry," he said, staring at the floor. "I should have stopped reading after I realized it was your diary, but I read it anyway...and it wasn't right of me to do that." He looked up just as Inez began to move closer to him.

Slowly, Inez leaned in to him, going up on her tiptoes to whisper into Matt's ear, "Let's talk about this outside."

The concrete of the skate park was cool without the heat of the sun to warm it. Matt was happy to see that most of Radopolis' citizens had gone home for the night, leaving him and Inez alone. Inez sat, leaning her back against one of the many curved walls of the park. She leaned her head back to regard the starry sky above, then turned to Matt. He sat a foot away, still wary of Inez's reactions to him.

"So you read my journal," Inez said calmly.

Matt nodded. "Yeah. And I'm not going to tell Jackie or Slider or anyone about it, I swear. It's your business, your story to tell. I won't say a word."

She smiled. "I already knew that, Matt."

His heart jumped at the sound of his name on her lips. "You did?"

"Yeah." She smirked knowingly, then paused to shoot him a grin. "You've always been a good guy. Honest, generous...not always the most trusting, but you and Slider seem to have worked things out."

Matt chuckled, feeling himself relax. "And we didn't even need a peace treaty." A comfortable silence settled between the two, and Matt found himself leaning closer to Inez. He felt drawn to her, as though she was a warm fire and he had just barely survived a freezing winter.

"So," Inez said, returning him to the business at hand. "Do you have any questions about what you read?"

His mind had been racing with questions since the moment he had realized that the diary belonged to Inez. But the more he thought about it, the more he didn't want answers. Did he really want to know the details of Hacker's experiments, or to force Inez to relive her trauma just so his curiosity could be satisfied? Once those subjects were put aside, only one burning question remained in Matt's mind. "Who's George?"

"George?" Inez asked with a look of surprise, obviously not expecting that question.

"Yeah," Matt said awkwardly. "George. You talked about him a lot."

"He's a friend of mine," Inez replied, regarding Matt with curious, analyzing eyes.

Matt gulped. "Just a friend?"

Inez smiled mischievously. "Just a friend. Why? Were you hoping I had found time for love in between therapy sessions and and medical check ups?"

His question was sounding more and more stupid now. Matt avoided looking at Inez, who continued to smile that same mischievous grin. "Let's forget I asked."

"I don't think I will," Inez said, and moved to stand directly in front of Matt, who remained on the ground. "My therapist and I talked about you a lot, you know. I just couldn't figure it out - why was I so scared of you back at Control Central? At first we thought it might have been androphobia, an overall fear of men. But I was perfectly fine around Slider, and around the men at the sanitarium, so that explanation fizzled out fast. And then, I told my therapist about what happened the night before you all shipped me off for treatment."

Matt cringed at the memory, and the harsh way she expressed her leave of absence. "We didn't ship you off, we just…"

"Hold on," Inez said with a patient smile. This speech was a performance, and she was leading up to the grand finale. "I told my therapist about what happened between us that night, working off of my own memories and security footage which we had Doctor Marbles ship over. I was scared of you because you had feelings for me." She let the silence hang before continuing. "You had feelings for me. You found me attractive. I perceived that as a threat due to the trauma I experienced while living with and working for Hacker."

Her hands were shaking again, and a tremor had creeped into her voice. The simple act of glossing over her experience was making her nervous. Instinctively, Matt reached up to hold Inez's hand, only to have her step forward and drop to her knees, straddling his lap. "Inez," Matt murmured, both terrified and excited simultaneously.

"You found me attractive," Inez repeated, now staring at him with blatant flirtation. "How about now?" Matt nodded dumbly, his eyes roaming her body without control. Inez rested her hands on his shoulders and adjusted her position on his thighs. "And do you still have feelings for me? Is there still a little crush for me in there?" She poked his chest playfully, right over his heart.

"Yes," Matt breathed.

Inez smiled, lust replacing her playful flirtation. "Good." With that, she dove in for a kiss, meeting her lips with his. Matt kissed her back with a vengeance, the feelings he had repressed as hard as he could for months coming back at full force. Her fingers tangled in his hair just as his hands moved to grip her hips, the sounds of their kisses echoing into the night. He pulled her close, reveling in this newfound intimacy, the passion that he had dreamed would someday blossom between them. Her kisses moved to his jaw and then to his throat as her hands roamed his shoulders and chest freely.

"Oh god Inez," he muttered, breathing his words directly into her ear. "I love you."

The kisses stopped. Inez froze completely, and her eyes took on a dramatic blankness as her mind was transported back in time. She was back on the grim wreaker, staring into the full length mirror that hung in Hacker's bedroom. Her dress was short, red, and wrinkled, pinching her skin tightly. Heavy makeup had been used to cover her bruises, and she felt pain in her toes, which were being crushed by the high heels she wore. Hacker stood behind her, his green hands resting gently on her shoulders as he leaned down to whisper into her ear.

"You look beautiful," he said.

She continued to stare at the mirror. She would have been what, fifteen then? Sixteen at the latest. "I can't do this," she murmured, then cringed in discomfort as Hacker's grip on her shoulders tightened.

"Now now," Hacker murmured tensely, shooting her a sick grin in the mirror. "Remember your place, my dear."

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "Please don't make me do this," she squeaked, beginning to beg. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at her reflection as Hacker leaned in once more.

"Just this one time," he murmured. "Do it for me, Inez. Don't you love me?"

She murmured a noise akin to agreement, and opened her eyes to meet Hacker's gaze in the mirror. His expression was almost feral with lust.

"I love you so much," Hacker murmured as he wrapped his meaty arms around her thin waist, squeezing her tightly, trapping her once more.

"Inez?" The sound of Matt's voice brought her back to reality. He gazed at her with concern as he shook her gently, attempting to snap her out of her apparent daydream.

She stood wordlessly, a cross of outrage and terror mingling in her expression. "Don't ever say that to me again," she declared with a voice cold as ice. Inez strode back to the house quickly, leaving Matt alone once more.

Some of the characteristics Inez portrays here are based off of my experiences with trauma. When you have been through a traumatic experience, it can be very hard to talk about it. Certain words, phrases and behaviors can be triggering depending on a person's experience, and while Inez has gone through treatment programs, she is still a trauma victim. She's just better able to handle her reactions now. Leave reviews!