A/N: Break out the insurance claims, it's Demon Slayer!

Theawesomess1: No one expects the Kobold Inquisition! :D
NetherOrbit: Choose your own adventure, dig your own grave!

Special thanks to AspyOtakuGirl for favoriting my story, hope to hear reviews from you in the future, we're like a family here!

Enjoy!

[Trap Detection], dost thou feareth injury? Activating such will allow thee temporarily sight of minor nuisances, depending of course on thy ability. Such obstacles will glow a bright color, like thy body pillow under a black light, boy.

Hate [Mimics], or [Runes]? Raise your [Vitality], you dex stacking wench. (Asuna will hopefully never see this.) Digressions aside, activating [Trap Detection] lowers defense stats, leaving thy tender bits vulnerable. My answer? Get some friends, you anti-social den dweller.

- Godfree, Beta Tester's Survival Guide - March 18th, 2023

November 11th, 2022 - Garr

Approaching the gate, I was hesitant to return, was on my last legs of energy. Plan was simple; gift Haru, see if she'd join, meet up with Yuri, go. Looking at my Zweihander and self, however, I had to consider subtlety. There's no mistaking it, my physique had left me very conspicuous, being around a bunch of meatless nerds. I couldn't let security know who I was, or they'd surely send an escort, ringing a dinner bell for opportunists to jack my stuff. With my barely conscious state to consider, there was no way I was fighting anyone.

Putting it away, I made sure no weapons could be seen before slapping on my light brown coat. Trying to hide my muscle mass, I put on more clothes, hoping I'd pass off as another guy with heavy gear. Didn't take long to figure out it wasn't going to work. Pacing behind a hill, I figured I'd have to employ some psychology. Sentience did not guarantee wisdom.

A group of players approached the gate, my gaze set to their demeanor. Faces low, a cattle-like mentality. Had to replicate this, much to my chagrin as I stepped among them, keeping my gaze lazy to psychologically mesh in. Surprisingly they didn't bother me, figuring me another stray mob farmer. Perimeter watch glanced at us, arms crossed. No words were spoken, my eyes kept low for mimicry.

"Hey, hold up there."

My group stopped, [Town Guards] closing in while I kept a casual disinterest, rather than avoidance. To my relief, they were facing someone else.

"After everything you pulled, you have the gall to come back? We know who you are."

"The heck're you giving me trouble for?" some guy growled.

A second pair of boots approached, same target. After a brief conversation and series of threats they let us through, dispersed unnoticed. breathing with relief, I raised my gaze, looking to what lied ahead. Number of damn guards increased since last time, many of them eyeing local squatter bands with derision. An afternoon breeze stroked my neck, cool and moist, a bronze town bell ringing. Passing a nearby guardhouse, I spotted Haru's street side carpet, an extensive line of people waiting beside it.

"Next!" I heard Haru call.

I stopped, turning away to search for Yuri. If Haru was this busy, she'd be there when I'm back. Not a single salesman NPC encountered such an influx, standing idly as players rushed around. With carts fully loaded, it left me ponderous, why such disparity?

On my way through a nearby market, however, something was developing. A pack of four guys were dragging someone with them, their feet scraping pavement. These men didn't have good intentions, I could smell it. Instinct drove me towards them, hands shaking still as I struggled keeping focus. What left me further convinced was their direction. An alleyway, black between the shadows of buildings. Still couldn't make out who was getting accosted, it didn't matter. Watching them slow around a corner, I stepped forward, one already spotting me, stepping back with a frightened gaze.

"You." I yawned, forcing out my breath. "Mind telling me what the hell you're doing?"

This group of four came to a complete stop, looking with paled faces and widened gazes.

"Oh uh...nothing?"

They backed away slightly, focused entirely on me.

"Guys, come on." I hunched. "What're you doing?" I kept calm, inching closer.

"I-It's none of y-your business, monkey!"

"Don't piss him off, man." one of his friends jumped back. "He looks like he benches small cars!"

My body boiled at their failing morale. Stepping closer, I could make out a pair of eyes gazing at me from below them, nothing more. Soft, weeping.

"Okay." I snapped my gaze back to them. "What's this? I don't appreciate bullies. Not. One. Bit."

All four stepped back, my shoulders scraping against bricks of opposing buildings. Had to hold back another yawn, clenching fists as I sped my advance.

"I'm gonna die here!" one sprinted away.

All four fled without further conflict. My shoulders drooped, my back easing against a wall, yawns escaping me as I rubbed my face.

"God, what was I doing again?" I groaned. "Don't even...remember."

Snapping my gaze low, I frowned a little.

"Jeez." I grimaced, glancing briefly where those dickheads went.

They were dragging a woman away, barely looked conscious, poor thing. She was staring at me, keeping fairly quiet.

"Morning." I sluggishly rose.

"Ng..? I shee-..."

Drunk out of her mind, she was barely capable of speech. Kneeling down, I kept my voice down.

"Can you nod your head, shake?"

She performed as requested, dark brown hair bobbing, yes.

"Okay good." I sighed, glancing right and left, yawns escaping. "I've...got money. I'll get you a room.

She started squealing a little, trying to get up.

"Wow, it's okay." I held out a hand. "I'm not going with you. Just you, okay?"

She simmered down, drool escaping a corner of her lip.

"Dunno how long I'll be standing." I shook my head. "Listen, I'll get you a key."

All I got was a blink.

"If you want, I've got plans for a...holdout outside of town, gonna bring a few people." I yawned again. "Good people."

Her head tilted.

"It's a bit beyond..." I held back an exhale. "Me right now to explain, haven't slept for days. Wanna room?"

She nodded weakly.

"whir..."

Whatever she was trying to say, it was completely incoherent. Scooting my shoulder in, I let her put an arm around. She was equal to me in height, though much thinner. She stumbled frequently, made keeping a steady pace a priority. Wasn't like I could move faster, was shambling myself.

"Hang on." I assured, shaking.

She again glanced at me, mouth slightly agape, eyes watery. Luckily an inn was nearby, although swarming with activity. Walking straight to the tender, I was met with a scowl.

"Oh, it's you." he spat. "What do you want, besides beating up my customers?"

Wanted to tell him to shove a bottle up there, sideways.

"How much for a room?" I kept soft. "She needs help."

"Fresh out, your next rental time's gonna be around an hour."

"Can I reserve that?" I pushed.

"Yea, for a hundred Cor."

"Why so high?" I blinked.

"Insurance. Take it or leave it, human."

Didn't matter, it was already settled. Ended up seating her in a corner, watching cautiously as time went on. Mystery Girl didn't say anything, grabbing her head and groaning every now and then. Waiting for a room, twice I almost fell asleep. Hauling her back upstairs, I finally got her some space, easing her to the handle before drawing my key.

"See this?" I waved it.

She nodded, drowsily accepting. Holding it in her hand, she viewed me with big eyes, hands clumsily together as she leaned against a wall.

"Na...mm?" she said, spitting on my face.

"My name?" I puzzled, wiping my cheek.

She nodded.

"Garr."

"Garr." she repeated, speech slurred.

Without warning she fell to her knees, trying to purge. I shrunk back, not a drop of bile emerging. Crying moments later, she sat on her hands and knees as I opened the door for her, easing her inside.

"Ga...rr."

She locked herself inside, safe and sound. No time though for back patting, went to check on Haru's situation, messaging Yuri of my delay. Approaching my friend, I found her spot surprisingly vacant, free of customers.

"Sorry I'm out of items, really I have nothing left to-"

Her gaze rose to me.

"Oh hey, Garr." Haru adjusted herself "Sorry, had to tell the last four people I'm out of goods. Hope you weren't expecting anything."

"Don't worry, in fact I found you a little something." I opened my menu.

"Oh?" she raised a brow.

Initiating a [Trade], I placed the [King's Torch] in an available slot. Haru's eyes widened, glancing at me with a stunned expression upon recognizing its qualities.

"Where'd you find this? S class is the rarest of stuff! Didn't think it'd even spawn so early."

"Around the grasslands west of." I looked back to the north gate, yawning yet again. "That forest? Yeah, there."

She summoned her gift, a blue plant glowing dimly in her hands.

"Wow." her eyes focused. "Here. You'll want this."

She ended up paying a whole eight thousand Cor for that!

"I'll assume this isn't easy to find, plus I kinda made a lot of money off sales."

"Oh God, yes!" I practically prostrated myself. "That means armor! Yes, yes, yes!"

"Sadly I've decided to stay." Haru grimaced. "Sorry...I just feel safer here."

"That's fine, your gift here's a lifesaver." I cheered tiredly. "Thanks Haru, really."

"Mhm." she insisted shyly. "Good luck, Garr."

"A drop of luck and a gallon o' patience." I smiled.

Couldn't have walked any faster to a blacksmith's shop, was tired of getting struck by sharp objects.

[Balance: 9,340 Cor]

Three pieces of [Boar Leather] and a thousand Cor later, I had a pair of [Leather Bracers]. Plain, but better than taking a knife to my wrists. Next came a [Padded Cloth Vest], called a gambeson apparently. Costing me another three thousand, I shivered as linen wrapped around my pecs. Next on my to do list, get Yuri. Thankfully I found him standing around the north gate, with a fairly tall dude standing beside him.

"Yuri." I called, waving to him as I approached sleepily.

He was a little pudgier than expected, sporting a dark brown goatee. Waving back, his friend turned calmly, his average frame covered in bronze chainmail. Yuri quickly stepped towards me, already showing the friendliest face I've seen all day. Or at least friendly and sober.

"Good to see you're...still kicking." I exhaled. "Had a bit of a delay."

"It's fine." Yuri waved, "Look man, I didn't mean to cause harm. I just-"

"Yuri, I'm tired, beat, but I'm okay. See you've brought a friend?"

"Yea, this is Kuradeel." Yuri nodded, stepping beside him. "Kuradeel, Garr."

"Guten tag." he spoke, his basic German translatable.

This guy looked ready to take names with how he was dressed. Had what looked to be a [Greatsword] over his shoulder, a torso crossing strap resting atop a shirt of bronze chainmail to boot. With long brown hair, Kuradeel stood over a foot taller than me.

"Guten tag." I repeated. "You two ready? Don't think we have much time."

"Yah." Kuradeel nodded.

"Yep, where to?" Yuri crossed arms, "Getting a bit late for moving."

"The mountains northwest of here. We make camp, wait a week, get out."

"Hm, zhis vould give us zhe benefit of distance." Kuradeel glanced back to Yuri. "I don't know..."

"Hey, if it means fewer people problems, I'm all for it." Yuri shrugged, "Pretty sure we can handle a wolf or two. Oh by the way Garr? Yea, bots stopped selling stuff since yesterday."

"That explains the full carts." I blinked, "But why the hell not?"

"Said they don't sell to humans anymore. Too much trouble."

"Hm, do we need food?"

"Not really." Kuradeel answered, "Ve got plenty of Boar stored, zhough some seeds might help."

I glanced to a merchant, spotting a trio of [Town Guards] patrolling.

"Yuri, you're a salesman." I glanced, "Think you could talk it ove-"

My newest ally shook his head.

"Already tried. They're serious."

Decided to move on, we were running out of time. Was utterly psyched to have support, especially competent looking people.

Sun Dancer

4:14 PM - Kibaou

"You've got to be kidding." Lind sighed, leaning against central plaza's bell tower. "He wants Ilioc down? I mean I see where it's coming from, but..."

"That's what he told me." Diavel sat, huddled with Kibaou and Lind. "Leaves me stumped, cause what if this gets us there faster?"

"But what if Illfang's lying?" Lind interrupted, "You were being lectured on dishonesty, by a rodent."

Hearing this commotion, a cowl wearing Argo came forth, taking a seat nearby Lind. Space was filled further every few hours, people seeking safety among vigilante groups.

"Who're you?" Kibaou looked warily.

"Argo, I'm an info seeker." she whipped her short blonde hair back. "Mind if I listen in? Making a guide for idiots isn't easy."

"Hey, whatever helps." Lind cleared.

"Go ahead." Diavel nodded. "We're pretty stumped as far as answers go. Governor Ilioc wants Illfang alive for the sake of protecting this town. Illfang wants Ilioc dead from a standpoint of risk assessment, feeling his past hints at dishonesty."

"If we please Illfang, sure we get access to Floor Two, but we're just about guaranteed to lose our holdings here." Kibaou stared at tiles in thought, "Then comes the question, who'd be in charge afterwards."

"Who cares, we won't have our asses on the line." Lind dismissed. "If it comes down to it, we'll take them both."

"I think we should care." Kibaou interjected. "Sure we fought Taurus during the beta, but with a system wide upgrade to the AI...who knows what's ahead. We might need their help. Better question is, do NPCs respawn?"

"Guards do." Argo grimaced, writing down everything. "Course it takes a while, I'd say five to ten minutes."

"Well hey, we outnumber them." Lind clenched a fist. "Just get everyone to start spawn camping guards while we move in and take the town."

Kibaou shook his head. "Most of them are still level one. Doing that's gonna get a bunch of us killed. First and foremost, we have to find out how to secure the playerbase, because either way, most of them are too busy jerking of-."

"Kibaou!"

Shot up to his feet, Kibaou turned to one of his arriving patrols.

"It's bad. People are attacking merchants."

"Why're you here then?" Kibaou growled. "The NPCs are gonna get pissed!"

"Too many, man. Might as well be stickin' my dick in a chainsaw!"

Everyone's faces either turned pale, or red, Argo biting her lip.

"We've gotta act fast." Lind shouted, "Do the dumb asses here wanna be punished?!"

"Calm down, man." Diavel coaxed.

"I say we just go kill Illfang, screw the governor's orders." Lind barked, "We have to find a vent!"

"Right." Argo directed, "The beauty of Urbus being empty? We can inhabit it as much as we please, no NPCs putting pressure on us."

"But what if Governor Ilioc gets funny ideas?" Kibaou argued, "Illfang said he's a former general."

"We'll be better situated once we have Urbus." Diavel compromised. "Once we're settled, we can take a breather...and try to figure out our next move."

Kibaou stopped for second, contemplating their next move.

"If we do take the second floor, does that mean we're going to try for the hundredth? Everyone's talking about it."

"Not sure." Lind cooled, crossing arms. "Still think we should take this place."

"If it's any help." Argo said softly, "We could wait. A...friend of mine's seeking other options we could use. He should be back later today."

"That's fine, we'll need time to train up guys to conduct such a raid anyway." Diavel shrugged, "Judging from our last report, level six isn't high enough. So we'll set the bar to twelve before proceeding further."

"Be back guys."

Left curious, Kibaou left to pay a visit to Black Iron Palace, dissatisfied with their current options. His approach, however, left only further concern, laying witness to decisions made from desperation. A scene south of central plaza was in shambles, hundreds shouting, NPCs retreating into their homes, their food stripped off their carts by hordes of starving players, callous in their acquisition. [Town Guards] moved in, equipped with [Tower Shields] and [Cudgels].

Kibaou detoured quickly, not wanting to be seen as an accomplice. On his way to Black Iron, however, he encountered a retinue of heavily armored security personnel. Numbering seven strong, they were wary in their protection, surrounding a single elf in similar gear.

"Can't believe Ilioc isn't taking full advantage of this...could be doing so much more."

Curious, Kibaou pursued the NPC further, stalking behind them as they ventured. Unfortunately for him, guards quickly noticed him, half of them turning on Kibaou in but a mere moment. [Halberds] were lowered, shoulders widening.

"Captain, eavesdropper."

The central figure wheeled around, face wrought with irritation before gazing on Kibaou. Immediately notable was this elf's skin, its tanned exterior spotty and morphing in not only color, but shape and texture. It didn't possess pointed ears, holes residing in their place. With yellow eyes, it left Kibaou stunned for a minute.

The heck is this guy?

"Aramai uses humans now for spying? Subtle." their leader raised a brow, "Irrelevant. Human, why're you following us? Suspicions are bad enough."

Kibaou stepped back, disinterested in being speared.

"What's Aramai?" he waved, "I just heard you say something about disagreeing with Ilioc."

"I'd be more worried with your people's current standing with him than whatever I think." he brushed his cape.

"Fine, I'm sorry I followed. Can I at least know your name?"

The strangely skinned figure grunted, his retinue glancing around.

"Captain Wudramor, now if you excuse me."

Departure spurred Kibaou into further investigation, opening his menu to inform Lind of his find.

[From Lind: Judging by her skillset, maybe send Argo to listen in? Could use that intel.]

[To Lind: True, will try that.]

Calling for Argo, Kibaou was met with a swift response, a petite sneak creeping out from a nearby alley. Cloaked with green cowl, she smiled while slinking around, tapping Kibaou from behind.

"Jeez!" Kibaou swerved.

"Pretty quick, huh?" she smirked. "What's up, Ki-bi?"

Kibaou simmered, shoulders dropping.

"I need someone listening in to Captain Wudramor. He's a weird elf, has sunken ears, form and color shifting skin."

Argo's smirk faded slightly.

"Where's he going?" she tilted her head. "Someone of my skill needs a destination, nyahahah."

"Black Iron."

Her expression softened.

"Uh, that might be just a bit too risky right now."

"Why?" he crossed arms.

"I've only started really boosting my [Sneak] yesterday. Imagine what they'd do if I was caught. No, I'll spy on this captain, but under better terms."

Kibaou sighed.

"He doesn't seem to be on the same page as the governor. With his position, this might provide us some insight to what goes on in the governing powers of this town."

"Relax, ki-bi." Argo brushed her hair, "I'll make a leak, like a rat biting through plumbing...totally not destroying stuff under...my apartment."

She shook her head.

"You get me, right?"

"Ya." Kibaou watched, "You have my name, right? Lind's?"

"Yeppers, now shush." Argo nudged his shoulder with hers. "I've got this."

Argo left in an excited rush, documenting Wudramor's name, noting his supposed opposition to Ilioc. Unbeknownst to either players, a meeting between governor and captain was underway. Behind guarded doors, in a windowed keep, a heat enveloped their space. Pacing inside Ilioc's office, Captain Wudramor's face furrowed, patches of skin turning brittle like stone.

"I still say we take these humans and push them to Illfang's castle, overwhelm him with their sheer numbers." the captain barked. "It'd fix our squatter problem and Illfang."

"And what if they win?" Ilioc clipped his nails. "Are you really that eager to repeat the same mistake the Congregate made with the Ogres?"

"That's different, we made promises then we couldn't keep, sire." Wudramor contested, "The only promise we'd be making here is of which direction to point their anger."

"And what if they win?" Ilioc repeated. "What if they defeated Illfang? Do you really think the Committee's gonna keep funding us if their real estate was expanded? Or would they run off to new ventures, leaving us behind?"

Captain Wudramor paused in response, formulating an answer he didn't readily possess.

"I understand where you're coming from, but this isn't gonna bring your son back. Believe me, I miss him too."

"Neither is sitting here and letting these people bring chaos to our streets." Wudramor's face turned smooth. "Sire, I miss my son deeply, but are we really gonna let this committee stay in charge?"

Governor Ilioc cleared his throat.

"Your compromised emotions aren't going to help with this delicate situation." Ilioc dismissed, "Besides, what's to stop the Redactors from investigating if the fortress fell?"

Again Wudramor was left without answer.

"It wouldn't just be me on their chopping block, no matter what the House of Cel says. Inquisitor Hans would be the least of my concerns, and he's burned down entire towns."

"Sick bastards...sticking their noses in everything." Wudramor growled, skin turning alabaster.

"You would do well to keep your opinion to yourself. Now then, you up for a game tonight?"

"Yes actually. Been anxious." Wudramor softened, skin reverting to a red hue. "Mind's been on Aeson for days."

Sun Dancer

- Garr

North road out of town was vacant, something I appreciated greatly. Leaving cobbled stone roads behind us, we kept a brisk pace, little time for breaks. No matter how fatigued I felt, there was no way I was gonna be out here after sundown.

"So what convinced you to join me?" I looked back to them.

"Vell, Yuri here got himself in trouble a bit." Kuradeel commented.

"How so?"

"Let's just say I overcharged on a [Dagger], someone ended up dead." Yuri brushed his goatee, panic in his tone. "They didn't think I was sorry...and that's all she wrote."

"Zhankfully ve had eachozher's backs." Kuradeel smiled.

"Yea, you scared them off though, 'Deel."

"Well we're in luck." I splayed hands. "We'll be away, long as they don't send [Assassins]."

"Beg your pardon?" Yuri frowned, "Oh ya, [Mercenary] function. Shit, people are already sending those?"

"Vanted one too, but zhey vere expensive a bit." Kuradeel shrugged, "Ugh, my English sucks."

"Better than my German." I lumbered slowly.

We kept marching, rays of an evening sun warming us through waist high grass. If there was anything I wanted most, it was sleep. It was almost day four, yet such a basic need wasn't met. Strands of vivid yellow-green swayed all around us, [Frenzy Boar] snorting as they fed. Looking at my members, I tried to assess our skills.

[Kuradeel lvl 8 HP: 1,268/1,268]
[Yuri lvl 4 HP: 457/457]
[Garr lvl 3 HP: 602/602]

"Well guys judging by our stats, I should definitely do the frontal assault stuff." I smirked, "I mean, look at my beastly numbers, should solo a boss."

Kuradeel laughed, shaking his head at my quip.

"Nein, you should leave fighting to me, till you're better leveled."

"Heh...yea...fighting." Yuri peeped. "Definitely something I do."

Wasn't exactly psyched about Yuri's outlook.

"So vhat do you use, Garr?" Kuradeel looked back. "Not to be rude, but you definitely need leveling."

Revealing a Zweihander with an open grip, Kuradeel's thick eyebrows furrowed.

"What?" I blinked.

"Zhat's no veapon, zhat's a traffic pole."

"Actually that's a [Siege Blade]." Yuri answered. "Largest sword class in the game."

All of a sudden, the German in chainmail started laughing, almost hysterically. He said something I recognized as his native language. Something to do with himself, but that's all I could discern.

"My apologies." he splayed a hand, "It's just, oh I zink half zhe planet doesn't know zhat swords vere light! Zhat zhing you hold, Garr...vould be little more than a ceremonial piece, if even. A general rule for swordsmanship is to vield a blade equal to or shorter zhan yourself."

I grimaced, shouldering my weapon tighter. Things like this made me wish I could afford leg lengthening. Might've made me a valid human being if I were maybe three inches taller. Five ten was a sign of superior breeding and there I was, six inches below.

"I'm gonna keep using this." I glanced to Kuradeel, "Und keine Ausreden."

"du sprichst Deutsch?" he looked with surprise, asking if I spoke German.

"Nope." I shrugged. "Like the language though."

"Good, cause you butchered it." he laughed.

After hours of walking, we reached a mountain hugging lake, sun dipping below northern peaks. Dark water turned a brilliant topaz yellow, reflecting its majesty, trees of a surrounding forest distanced by several feet. Nearing its shore, I instinctively approached.

"Hang on guys, gotta wake up again." I yawned, falling on my knees.

"Wonder if we can fish." Yuri noted. "It'd safer than hunting."

A splash sent a harsh jolt running down my arms, my face shivering as droplets trailed. Repeating it had me gasping, warding off a desire to snooze for maybe a few minutes more. After my fifth deposit, Kuradeel patted my shoulder, pointing towards what waited ahead. Mountains exceeding at least a thousand feet, most curious, however, was a cylinder of stone peaking slightly west of our position.

"A tower?" I blinked.

"Yah. Perched right over zhat a little." Kuradeel nodded.

"Sweet, now that's the place to camp in!" Yuri exclaimed, "Anyone else thinking?"

"Defensive position." I grinned, face dripping with water.

"Hang on." Kuradeel noted, "Somezhing like zhat indicates a fortress. Sentry posts don't stand alone."

"Sure as hell beats camping outside." Yuri dismissed, "But it's okay 'Deel, you can sleep outside."

I chuckled a little at his dig, Kuradeel remaining fairly serious.

"Just a varning." he shrugged, "Anyvay, need to finds a paz."

Spotting a natural incline nearby, one fact became pretty obvious, my knees bending in response, toes gripping.

"Uh, you guys mind going first?" I noted, "Not gonna lie, I'll slow you down."

Yuri glanced back at me.

"Didn't know you were scared of heights, dude."

"Prefer to see it as a fear of falling." I laughed weakly.

"I'll lead zhen." Kuradeel assured, "Better be quick, sunset's almost here."

Ascending quickly forced us into a single file line, with me dead last. Bending my knees, I did my best to keep up, rising in stature whenever my feet hit sterner ground. Cool wind brushed by, dirt turning dry as we climbed further, birds singing. Even with my fear there was no denying natural beauty our altitude displayed. An ocean of bright green, grounded and floating islands of stone, their colors radiating under a setting sun. I clung with strict fingers, my legs bent as I followed Yuri and Kuradeel's steps with hands along a stone surface. Looking down was gonna stop me, couldn't afford it.

Taking a sharp turn right, our path angled towards a plateau, a steeper surface a few yards ahead. Sitting peculiar at the center, however, was a cave opening, wide enough to walk through too. Being last in line, I could afford a few seconds to look inside. Wasn't as dimly lit as expected, there were several luminescent crystals, green in hue.

"Anyone else curious?" I glanced back, "Place looks neat...and defensible."

"Maybe later." Kuradeel nodded, "Ve need to setz up zhe base first. Paz's a bit steep, keep it slow."

I huddled closer to Yuri, forcing my head up. Gravel scraped beneath our boots, sometimes sliding from a lack of friction. Every time my shoes slipped, I death gripped stone boulders, fearing a fall. Eventually, we reached a surprisingly grassy summit, another plateau extending for miles. Spreading out, we took different angles on what surrounded us.

A ruined tower stood by itself, patches of its walls compromised and left gaping in disrepair. While walls connected to this mountain keep, they've long crumbled, leaving large swathes of space open for anything to peruse. Plants replaced mortar in lower channels, sprouting brilliant flowers around pockets. Paired with a backdrop of forests and wilderness, I couldn't help but feel a little relaxed, ready to fall asleep again.

"I'll check zhe tower, one second."

Kuradeel drew his [Greatsword], approaching half-rotted wooden doors with fluid caution. Rushing to assist, I grabbed a door ring for him, cued before pulling it open. Next thing I knew, I heard a sword being drawn, followed by another.

"Back up!" Kuradeel called.

I jumped back, a pair of figures bursting out, their t shaped shields readied. Arching back, Kuradeel's [Greatsword] raised, guard above his shoulder as he paced, starting a smooth, controlled spin as both unknown fighters encircled.

"Wow, hey! We're friendly!" Yuri shouted.

Their focus was keenly on him, an advantage I wouldn't miss. Two targets, man and a woman, guy getting too close to Kuradeel. He wore heavy gear, bright red plates of metal guarding his shoulders and everything below, overlaying a white cape. The female, however, was fairly light in build, tiny in comparison. Preferring blue and leather, she'd be less challenging. Choosing the knight for a tackle I rushed forward, lowering my head and raising my shoulders I aimed for his belt line.

"Dad, right!"

My target turned, his shield meeting my face, bashing me against it nonchalantly. My nose cracked, tears blinding me as I stumbled back, thought escaping with broken cartilage. Heard a pair of boots distance themselves, another approaching. Already blinded by tears, my exhausted frame barely moved, more comfortable with staying still. Trying to veer, a sharp tool jammed into my ribs, my [Padded Cloth Vest] useless in stopping it.

[HP: 84%]

"Sweet Go-!" I screamed, falling on my back.

"Stay down!" she shouted.

"Screw you!" I roared impulsively.

Another wound was made, her weapon boring through my stomach before yanking out.

[HP: 67%]

"I won't ask again."

"Point that weapon-" I gasped, groaning. "At me again...freaking ow!"

With a wince I finally looked to my assailant, breathing rapid and shallow as I shoved a thumb in my stomach. Freaking blonde, blue eyed bitch stabbed me, looking down like she was in charge, so calm, so sure. Wounds wouldn't stop burning, leaving me fetal in position, my Zweihander meeting only grass.

A [Rapier] flashed, aimed at my face. I grabbed it, hoping for even a moment of space, paid back with a single tug back, my right hand's palm splitting open like a letter.

[HP: 60%]

Was running out of options, my opponent was biding her time, circling around me like a shark, steel colored eyes focused.

"Hang on, ve mean no harm!" Kuradeel splayed a hand, stepping back. "Ve zhought zhis place vas empty!"

"Sheath your weapon then, we can talk."

A clattering of metal stopped in an instant, weapons dully sliding back to their sheathes. Blonde stood over me regardless, [Rapier] ready and aimed.

"Leopon, put it away."

"Not with this one, Dad." she whipped her hair back. "He tried ambushing you, too jumpy."

Despicable, to be in such a state where I was to be bargained with by strangers. I grabbed grass with my left, only to be seized by a twisted rib wound. I motioned right, my burning palm halting me. I lurched up, only to be stopped by a punctured stomach.

"There was a misunderstanding, put it away."

A towering figure of plated metal turned on me, his boots thumping with every step. If I couldn't take on his daughter, what was I to him? My spirit died a little, shrinking back.

"Dad, be careful."

His helmet remained, red steel covering all around his head as he gazed down, a titan against my crippled self.

"W-Wait!"

Yuri scampered beside me, hands up.

"Forgive my friend, he's cursed...a-and hasn't had any sleep!"

He who I'd call 'Father Knight' viewed Yuri.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt anyone. You said he's cursed? That status effect shouldn't be here."

"No, no sir." Yuri waved. "His [Pain Absorbers], they've been turned off."

"Really now?"

His gaze lowered to me, thanks Yuri. Was gonna get shanked again for being 'that guy'.

"Please...tell me I didn't steal your ice cream." I winced. "Feeling kinda fucked right now."

"Even if you did, it's not worth a life." he glanced right. "Put the sword away, Leopon."

Vanishing into a long sheath, blonde's [Rapier] returned to its owner, who stepped back warily from me. In her place, however, he stepped forward, leaning.

"What's your name?"

"Garr." I twitched sluggishly. "This spot's...actually kinda comfy. Think I'mma...egh..."

Conscious faded, sleep finally taking me away. Didn't know what was going to happen, but I didn't care either, was too tired to pursue further.

Getting a [Pet] is more then an accessory (or a way to pick up girls, boys...), it's a booster! Depending on which you get, you'll receive different stat buffs or even resistances.

Wanna tame one? Your best bet's to break 'em while they're young! Feeding an animal (generally smaller than you) will start the taming sequence. Keep it routine enough and they'll stick with you for much longer. If done since they were babies, expect more loyalty...unless it's a cat. (I love cats!)

- Argo, Beta Tester's Survival Guide - February 1st, 2023

A/N: And he got the point, he's down for the count!

Hey guys, thanks as always for reading...remaking an entire story is no easy matter. Shout out to Awesomess and Nether for sticking by me, inspires me every day.

Reviews are deliciously unhealthy, gimmie some! Favorites and follows are also desired, but not as much as hearing your opinions (bad and good). See you all in a week!