Chapter 10.

The next morning I woke up and saw Chris sleeping on the floor. I took his bed, but I knew that he was glad to give it up if it meant I was somewhere safe. I felt sick and ran into the bathroom. I threw up and sat down because I knew more was coming. I laid my head down on the toilet seat.

"Hey Kiddo, you doing okay?" It was Chris.

I nodded and got sick again. He came by my side and started rubbing my back and got me a glass of water. There was a knock on the door. Chris got up to answer it. "Thanks, dude." I heard someone say.

Chris came back in with some crackers and ginger chews. "Here, eat these. They're suppose to help." I looked at him. I didn't want to eat them. They were from Paul and I didn't want anything from him. I think Chris knew what I was thinking. "You can't be that stubborn. Eat them or get sick all day. It's completely your choice."

I sighed and took them. I ate them and they seemed to calm the sickness pretty quickly. I stood up and took a shower, thinking it would make me feel better. I let the hot water run down my back for a good ten minutes. I felt the tears start to fall again.

How could Paul do this to me? I thought that we were great. I didn't think he would even want to kiss another girl. Lord knows that I haven't even wondered what kissing another guy would be like. Why would he want to kiss her? Does he still want to be with her?

My thoughts were interrupted. "Hey, we all wanna shower before we leave kiddo. We have to leave in an hour." I turned off the shower.

"Come in and get in then. I've seen you before so don't be shy." He laughed at me and got in the shower while I finished getting ready. I got dressed and went out to the room. Cody and Jeff were sitting there. They asked how I was doing and were happy to see that I wasn't crying anymore.

A little while later we were on our way to Peoria, IL. I made it a point to keep my phone off so I wouldn't have to see the text, or missed calls from Paul that I knew were there. I didn't want to deal with Paul or what he did. I just wanted to forget it and move on.

"Mary, I need to ask you if you are going to forgive Paul." Chris asked soothingly. I think he was afraid of making me break down again.

"I don't know. Technically we weren't together...but that would be like me going off and making out with Cody here. It's still wrong. I've been played before, Randy did it plenty of times....never again."

Cody laughed. "Sorry hot stuff, but I'm taken."

I couldn't help but laugh at him. I found it hilarious that he would think that I was serious. No one asked me about it anymore. We pulled up to the arena. I saw Stacy standing there waiting. As soon as I got out of the SUV she was running up to me hugging me.

"Oh honey, Chris called me last night I am so sorry. Are you okay?"

I looked at Chris. "Hey, women know how to handle this stuff better than I do."

I laughed at him. I walked with Stacy. We went to her locker room. "Now, you sit down and tell me what happened." Stacy said. She sat down, crossed her legs and looked at me.

"Well, he told me last night that when I was in the hospital, he made out with Ashley for like ten minutes..."

"Oh my god, that slut!"

I felt the tears coming on. I let them fall. I didn't have to impress Stacy. "Oh, Stacy. I love him so much. He means everything to me. I don't want to be without him, and I don't want to raise this baby alone."

She hugged me. "Oh sweetie, You need to be smart in this situation and do what is best for you and the baby. If you think whats best is Paul, then be with him and never look back on this again. But if you don't think its best. You make money, you can do it by yourself."

There was a knock on the door and Paul walked in. I saw him and started crying more and broke down. I know that I was hysterical. "Mary, please don't cry. Lets just talk."

"Get out!" Stacy yelled.

"Mary...I'm so sorry."

"No!" Stacy yelled. "Get out of here! You are only making things worse." She started pushing him, but he hardly budged. "Paul, you've done enough already. You made the mistake, don't make this any harder on her than it needs to be!"

People were gathering around the room. Randy came into the room. "Hey Paul, lets go take a walk and you can fill me in on whats going on. You don't want to make a scene like this."

Paul looked at me. I looked away from him though. I couldn't face him. "Yeah, you're right."

RAW started, but I wasn't scheduled for anything. So I hung out in Stacy's dressing room. Chris came into the locker room. "I just heard about earlier. Are you doing okay?" I nodded. "Listen, a few of us are going out later, come with us."

"I don't know."

"You can't be down forever. You have to continue your life. You know that, by now."

I knew that he was right. "Yeah. I'll change now." I put on my street clothes and after the show Chris, Cody, Randy, Beth, Mickie and I went out to a bar. I ordered water and drank it with them. Randy came up to me. "Hey Mar. How are you holding up?"

"Okay, I guess. I just wish I could just rip out my heart so it wouldn't be broken anymore." He gave me his concerned look that I recognized all too well.

"I'm here if you need me. My number is still the same Mar Bear." That was my pet name for him. I looked at him. I felt the depression overtake me again. I thought of how Paul called me baby cakes and I got up.

"I have to use the ladies room." I grabbed my purse and made a b line for the door. I texted Chris telling him being in a bar was too tempting for me and I had to get out of there. I took a cab back to my hotel, when I got there Paul was in the lobby. I tried to sneak past him, but I knew he saw me.

"Mary, can we talk...please." I didn't answer. "Look, I know I made a huge mistake, but all I need is a chance to make it all okay. You can't just ignore me, or ignore the fact that we are going to have a baby together. We need to talk things through for the baby's sake."

I looked at him blankly. "Call me stupid but I never knew it was okay to not tell someone that you kissed someone while she was almost dead in a hospital room."

"You'd woken up already."

"Because that makes it so much better Paul!"

"Look, I thought I was done for good..."

"You didn't waste anytime moving on did you?"

"Look, Mary, I didn't want Ashley. And I still don't want Ashley."

I felt like I was near the verge of tears. I went into the stairwell and he followed me. "Paul, I don't believe you. How can I? You didn't tell me. Was it because you were thinking of her? I don't get how you tell me you want to marry me and be the father of my child and do that and not tell me. I was suppose to be the only one. If that were true it never would of happened!"

"We weren't together. I didn't have any obligation to you Mary. You can't be mad. Yes, I will agree I should have told you sooner. And for that I am sorry."

"You had two years of obligation to me, Paul! We were together for two whole years, did any of that mean anything to you?!"

"Yes, it meant everything to me. Mary, I never once have talked to another girl about marriage or kids. And you're pregnant, we're having a baby together. I just knew I couldn't marry you without you knowing this. I had to tell you."

"You don't want to marry me. You weren't and aren't ready to spend your life with me. If you were that willing one, you would of stood by my side. And two, it never would of happened."

I saw his eyes water up. He reached his hand into his pockets. He pulled out the ring he gave me. "I do want to marry you, I'm so ready to marry you it hurts. I don't want to end this. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You don't think Ashley wanted to sleep with me? I stopped it. I couldn't move on that fast. I could never get over you!" He paused for a second.

"Ashley came to my room last night. She handed me this and told me that you went to her room and threw it at her...she asked me if I told you I wanted to be with her. She seemed so hopeful. I told her that I had told you about that night, but you ended things with me. I was a wreck when you left. I cried all night baby cakes. She rubbed my back and tried to console me. After a few minutes she tried to kiss me again."

I looked at him with disbelief. "Why! Why try to-"

"Let me finish...I said she tried. I pushed her away. I told her I wanted you, and that would never change. She asked what us making out was. I told her nothing, that it was a mistake. She got really upset and started crying. She even asked me if I could ever be with her. I told her, you were the only one for me. She broke down on the floor crying. But it was different. It didn't break my heart to see her cry like it does when you cry. When you cry, like you are now. I want to jump off the roof because I know that I did this to you."

I looked at him. I knew that all of this was true. "Paul, you hurt me...this is the first time you really, truly hurt me. I have learned before giving out second chances is a mistake."

Paul started crying. "Mary, please. Don't end this. Don't end us."

"Listen Paul, why don't you give Ashley a try. Maybe she's what you've been looking for.

"No, she isn't. Mary, you are what I want. You and our baby! That is what I need."

"Well me and the baby don't need you!" I ran up the stairs as fast as I could to my room. I walked in and closed the door. Two seconds later there was a knock on the door. It was Randy.

"Hey, can we talk for a minute?" He asked. I motioned him in. "I talked to Paul today. Deja vu huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you can say that." I looked down.

"Mary, I know this might be the wrong time but....I need to say this and right now, I can say it without violating any man laws. I let the girl I was suppose to be with get away because of stupidity. I cheated on her and I lost her. I was suppose to be with you Mar. Not Samantha. I love Samantha don't get me wrong, but you are my sole mate. I loved you very much, whether you believe that or not. I just made a mistake that ended us. If I could go back and change what I did, I would in a heartbeat."

"Randy..."

"I love you, Mary. I always have and I probably always will..." He looked at me, I knew that he wanted me to say it back.

"Randy, your married. You have a child on the way. You can't do this to her. She loves you."

"But I love you. I would leave Samantha for you, if I could only have one more chance."

"I love you Randy. But not like that anymore. You were my first true love, you will always hold a special place in my heart. But unfortunately for you, Paul is the one I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. We're over. We have been for two years. You need to focus on Samantha and your little girl. Focus on being faithful and loyal to her."

He looked at me. I knew that he was upset and this wasn't what he wanted to hear. "You're right. I just needed my closure. I needed to know. I just can't get over you. Maybe its because I was the one who screwed up."

"What did Paul say to you, today?"

"He said that he couldn't live without you. That he couldn't let you go over this. That he was willing to fight for you. He loves you very much. And now, I know that you feel the exact same way about him."

I smiled at Randy. "You were a few chapters in my life, but most of our memories were at least good."

He nodded. There was another knock on my door. "That's my cue to leave." He stood up and opened the door. Chris and Cody were standing there. Chris got wide eyed and looked at Randy. "Hey guys, I was just on my way out."

They walked in Chris glared at me. "What did you do? He's married!"

"Calm down. Nothing happened. He wanted it to, but I told him we were over and that Paul was the only one for me."

"Then you have your answer..." Chris said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Cody looked at me and then Chris. "Sit down, hot stuff!"

I did as I was told. Chris started talking first. "You know that you are meant to be with Paul, you told Randy that yourself."

"So, why prolong it, just forgive the guy and go back to having the perfect relationship. Don't let some skank ruin it. She is a slut. She has tried coming on to a few guys who are in relationships. She just likes what she can't have!" Cody said.

"Forgive him, and be happy. Because seeing you down Kiddo is tearing me up." His cell phone rang. "Its my wife and kids, I have to take this." He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"Do you really think that I should give him another shot?" I asked.

"You love him and he loves you. Think of it like this. He could of hidden this from you forever. But he didn't, he told you. Sure it took him a while, but he still told you. He didn't have to. You two weren't together and he should of told you sooner, but didn't. He's a guy we make stupid mistakes. It's in our nature. He loves you very much, because if he didn't he sure as hell wouldn't be going through all this trouble to get you back. And this morning, bringing you stuff for your morning sickness...he would do anything for you."

"I guess I was being pretty stupid, huh?"

"No, you weren't. You had every right to be upset with him. But give the guy a break, sorry to throw this in your face but if he can get past your drunk driving you can get past this."

"True, I guess if I never had done that, this never would of happened."

"Now that another thing. Don't blame yourself, it was his choice and actions that led you guys to this. Now, call him and take him back. He's in room 354." Cody got up to leave. I walked with him. I opened the door. "Goodnight."

I couldn't help it, I wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you so much Cody. You are absolutely right!" I let go of him and he walked towards the elevator, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone. It was Paul. He was crying and he looked even more hurt after seeing me hug Cody.

"Mary..."

"Paul, come in please. We need to talk."

He came in. We just looked at each other first. He was the one to break the silence. "It's really over isn't it?"

"I won't lie, earlier I wanted to be done...I was done...but after talking to Cody and Chris. It can't be over, not because of something like this. I love you too much to let go of you that easily and besides. We are going to have a little baby soon. We can't waste time fighting and being mad over something like this."

He smiled at me. "Oh baby cakes!" He ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I will never keep anything from you again. I love you so much." He kissed the top of my head and my forehead a few times.

"And I love you, Paul. Forever. Don't ever forget that mister!"

End.