A/N: More of Fox and Eric's struggle to return to normalcy. More shots in the feels...will Fox ever be the same? Thank you everyone for the reviews, follows, favourites and support, they light up my day! :)

Fox startled awake, looking around quickly. Something had woken her, a stealthy sound followed by a thump. Fox sat up and looked past the end of the bed. Her breath caught as she saw a body on the floor, a pool of blood spreading beneath it. Fox's heart began to pound as she recognized the boxers the body wore, saw the awesome muscle definition in the obviously male back, a back she knew well and loved to run her hands over.

"Eric?" She whispered, a whimper escaping her as she realized that there was no way Eric could still be alive, not with that much blood beneath him; he was terrifying still.

A figure stepped from the shadows and stood beside Eric's body. The blade of the knife in his hand dull with Eric's lifeblood. With one long stride, the figure stood at the end of the bed and Fox's breath left her.

"You didn't really think you were rid of me, did you, bitch?" Tom growled. As he spoke he climbed onto the bed, crawled towards Fox and raised the knife. As the blade swung down Fox screamed and grabbed his upper arms, tried desperately to stop the blade's arc.

Eric jolted awake as Fox gasped beside him. In the ten days since Fox had come home from the Erudite hospital, Eric had become accustomed to Fox's constant nightmares, her broken sleep. The slightest twitch or noise woke him, he was always only half-asleep anyway; laying beside Fox, constantly on guard to protect her, even from her own mind.

Sometimes the solution was to wake her, but more often she responded quicker to Eric's arms around her, his voice low and soothing in her ear, his hand caressing her skin. Eric rolled to face Fox, saw her paralyzed with terror, her face twisted. He reached out to touch her and she exploded. Her arms snapped out, catching Eric on the chin and she began to scream. Eric grabbed her wrists, rolled on top of her in desperation. He pressed her wrists to the bed on either side of her head and began speaking lowly, trying to break through.

"Fox. Fox. Baby, it's a nightmare...it's me, baby wake up!" Fox fought him, keening in her throat and Eric let his full weight lay on her, pinning her down. He dropped his head to speak in her ear and was rewarded with a head butt that made him see stars.

"Fox!" He cried desperately, pushing down on her wrists, snapping his hips down on hers, trying anything to break her out of her nightmare. This was the hardest he'd had to work to get through to her and he was getting scared.

With one more harsh gasp, Fox's eyes snapped open, wide and unseeing, the animal fear in them unsettling.

"Fox!" Eric tried again.

The blank look left and awareness flooded Fox's gaze. Her body relaxed beneath Eric's and he let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

"Eric." She whimpered, the pain and desolation in her voice tearing at him. Fuck, I feel so helpless here. I can't help her, I can't stop the nightmares. Her eyes focussed up on Eric's, tears beginning to trickle down her cheeks.

"Oh, Eric." She whispered and Eric let go of her wrists, dropped down beside Fox; his hands trailing down her arms to her waist. Instantly Fox rolled to him, clawed frantically at his chest and buried her head in his throat, pressing desperately to him, her breath harsh gasps. Eric wrapped his arms tightly around her, threw his leg over hers, knowing she needed full body contact now; he rested his forehead to hers and murmured soothingly, calming sounds and noises; because there currently no words that would help.

Fox trembled in his arms, his shoulder and throat soon soaked with her tears. Eric stroked her hair, crooned quietly and slowly she began to calm down.

"He was here." She choked. "He stabbed you...he killed you and then he came for me."

Eric didn't need to ask who 'he' was. It was always 'he'. The fucker wouldn't stay dead and gone, not in Fox's troubled mind.

"You're safe." He murmured. "He's gone, he's dead and he can't hurt you anymore."

"I know...I know that when I'm awake...but as soon as I fall asleep, he's there." Fox's voice was threadbare, hoarse from her screams.

Eric stroked up and down Fox's spine, began to sing an old song that Fox loved, from before the war. A slow, sad song that nonetheless was Fox's favourite, would relax her when nothing else would.

All around me are familiar faces,

Worn out places, worn out faces.

Bright and early for their daily races,

Going nowhere, going nowhere.

Their tears are filling up their glasses,

No expression, no expression.

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow.

No tomorrow, no tomorrow.

And I find it kinda funny,

I find it kinda sad,

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had.

Fox relaxed completely in Eric's arms as his deep voice sang low to her, his breath warm on her cheek. She sighed, the rest of the tension in her muscles draining out, and as Eric sang the last words, Mad World, Fox was asleep again, a small smile on her lips.

Eric stroked her cheek and murmured. "I love you, baby. More than you'll ever know."

Fox kicked experimentally at the heavy bag. She'd been cleared by the doctor this morning to resume physical activity, and Tris had offered to come along with her. Eric had reluctantly gone back to work, facing a mountain of paperwork, and Fox was unwilling to languish in the apartment; she needed to get out and do something.

News of her abduction had made the rounds of the faction and Fox was rapidly growing tired of the pitying and/or curious looks that hit her wherever she went. When Eric was with her, it was easy to lean into his strength and let him glare at the offenders until they looked away, but by herself, Fox was reaching the end of her rope. The gym and heavy bag were a welcome distraction, taking her mind off of everything currently clouding her mind.

She and Eric hadn't been intimate since before Fox's attack and it was driving Fox insane. Eric was holding back for her sake and was having just as hard a time as her, Fox having heard him groan as he finished himself in the shower more than once lately. Physically, Fox was okay, her wounds were healed, but mentally she was still clouded. She wanted Eric, wanted his touch, wanted him inside her so bad, but panic would take over at the most inconvenient times; his face swarming up in her mind's eye, Eric's touch on her arm suddenly feeling clammy and lecherous. Eric's low sexy voice would morph into his wretched rasp, the words no longer igniting her blood but chilling her soul. She'd pull away, scramble out of the bed, knowing if she looked back she'd see the hurt in Eric's eyes that he tried so hard to hide. He realized that Fox was running away to escape him, but it hurt nonetheless to have her rip herself out of his arms like he was tainted, like he'd been the one to break her.

Fox would escape to the living room or bathroom and Eric would wait, give her time to calm down. He'd give her a gentle smile when she returned, taking her hand chastely or delicately resting in over her shoulders until she sighed and curled towards him, murmuring an apology into his chest.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." He'd murmur back, tentatively stroking her back; sometimes she'd let him, other times she'd tense and Eric would pull his hand away, eliciting another choked 'sorry' against his collarbones, her sorrow cutting Eric deep.

Devastating as all of that was, what had happened two nights ago was even worse, and Fox's heart clenched remembering it. Fox had come out of the bathroom, ready for bed to see Eric's side empty. Curious, she walked out into the living room and saw him on the couch, his head in his hands.

"Eric? Come to bed." Fox whispered.

Without lifting his head, Eric shook it. No.

Frowning in confusion, Fox moved to stand in front of him. She waited quietly for a moment before asking softly. "What's wrong?"

"I can't anymore." Eric sound broken, defeated.

A thrill of fear and panic went through Fox, he couldn't what? Couldn't be with Fox anymore? Not without sex? Couldn't handle her broken sleep and nightmares? What? Had he already found another woman who welcomed him to her bed, who gave him the release he so obviously needed and she couldn't provide him now? He was a man, and they'd been a very active and experimental couple before all of this shit had happened, Fox could hardly blame him for seeking it elsewhere. His next words tore through Fox's soul.

"I can't be with you right now."

Fox fell to her knees in front of him, hating herself, hating him. Goddammit, why couldn't you wait for me? Why can't I get rid of the fear? She choked out his name, hating the weakness and desperation in her voice. Just go.

Eric raised his head, his eyes widening as he read Fox's face. He reached out and grabbed her upper arms, his grip viciously strong.

"No! Fox! Not like that...I just can't...I can't lay beside you right now...I want you so bad, and I can't do that to you right now. If I go to bed with you, I'll slip...I'll start making love to you...I'll start fucking you senseless and I won't be able to stop myself. It's not your fault, but it's been too long...I can't control myself around you right now. I shouldn't even be here, I should crash at Zeke's or something."

Fox stared in shock at him. She honestly hadn't expected this confession. She hadn't fully appreciated how tightly wound Eric was becoming, of course he would be, she was dying for it too.

She reached out to hug him, pulled back at the desperate warning in his eye. He was riding a razor-edge of control right now, Fox could see, the only thing keeping him from throwing Fox back on the couch and taking what he wanted, what he needed, was his love for her, his complete aversion to causing her more pain.

"Go to bed." His voice was quiet and controlled, his hands fisted.

Fox stood and moved quickly to the bedroom, as she pulled the door shut she heard him mutter. "Lock the door."

She did.

She woke the next morning feeling cold, Eric's side of the bed too empty. He'd already left for work when Fox stepped outside the bedroom and she hadn't seen him all day. She'd retired to bed early and remembering Eric's request, locked the door again. She heard him enter the apartment and walk to the bathroom. The shower started and Fox felt an irrational shame as she heard Eric's low moans over the sound of the water. Reaching down, she slid her hand into her panties as she heard Eric's groaning speed up, began to rub herself. Tingles spread through her and her hand quickened. Eric's groans grew louder, more ragged. Fox felt her release building, she would come the same time as Eric. But suddenly, a hideous face with washed out blue eyes and dirty broken teeth appeared in her mind.

"That's right." Tom rasped. "Touch yourself for me."

Fox pulled away with a cry, dimly noting Eric's strangled groan from the shower. The face disappeared and Fox sat on the side of the bed, sweating, miserably turned on and too scared to do anything about it.

"Damn you, Tom." She growled.

"Fox? FOX?"

Tris' voice broke into Fox's thoughts and she started guiltily. "Sorry." She gasped.

Tris moved from her heavy bag to stand in front of Fox. "Are you okay, you look like you've seen a ghost."

Fox's legs gave out and she sunk to the mat. Eyes wide, Tris sat beside her.

"Fox? I thought things were getting better. Aren't they?"

Fox began to cry, sob uncontrollably and Tris pulled her against her chest, stroked her hair and let her. It all came out, the nightmares, the new fear of intimacy; the horrible visions of her attacker that wouldn't leave her alone, even after death; even Eric forcing himself away from her to keep Fox safe from himself.

Tris listened to it all quietly, wiping the occasional tear away as she did. Fox was really hurting, she'd been putting on a good front, fooling everyone; except maybe Eric; and Tris felt a hot stab of guilt for not looking closer.

"I'm sorry, Fox."

"Not your fault."

"What can I do?"

"Just let me cry right now."

"Okay." Tris fell back silent. She let her mind drift, began to think of ways to help Fox overcome at least some of her problems. She needed to get rid of this ghost that kept following her. A light bulb went off.

"Fox. I think I know something that will help!"