AN: Warnings for mentions of past suicide attempt. Oh and some sex.
Ian was glad the way the meet had worked out he got to jog for half an hour before he saw Jorez to work off some of his nerves. Knowing if he just handled his ex—or soon to be ex—just the right way meant Mickey would be proud of him helped, too.
In fact, as he ran, he said the word Mickey every step, like a mantra. It made him feel a little obsessive and crazy, like a kid writing his crush's name all over his notebook, but it helped to know that talking to Jorez right now meant eventually getting rid of Jorez. Getting rid of Jorez meant getting his life back. Getting his life back meant making sure Mickey knew he was serious when he said he loved him, and proving he could be a good, faithful boyfriend for once.
He got to the park and looked around but couldn't remember what Miles looked like and didn't recognize any of the other joggers around. Actually, he wasn't sure if Miles was in a car or what. He saw Jorez, though, standing by a rock wall near the water.
He jogged up. "Hey," he said.
"Baby, I'm so glad you're okay," Jorez said.
Ian looked at him. He was probably a couple of years older than Mickey, taller than Ian, and pretty handsome, his tanned skin contrasting with his dirty blond hair. Funny, though, Ian had never been really attracted to him, even when they'd dated. It had all been about Jorez manipulating him and Ian feeling like he owed the guy something.
Jorez pulled him into a hug, and he pulled the man in tight, closing his eyes and imagining he was anyone else. He went to kiss Ian and instinctively Ian turned his face away. He realized his mistake and so tried to look pouty and like he was playing hard to get. He'd never really been that kind of guy, though, so he was surprised when it worked.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry you have to stay with that cop and do what he says. I know you probably think I'm above the law, but even people as powerful as me don't mess with cops. You gotta stay with him a little longer."
"How long?" Ian asked.
"I told you, darling. I can't make a move on a cop. You just have to stay with him until he tires of you."
"What if he doesn't?" Ian asked.
"I'm sure you can make your displeasure known in all sorts of subtle ways," Jorez said dryly.
He'd know, since he'd been holding Ian hostage through threats for years and Ian hadn't exactly taken that with good grace and had certainly let him know he was unhappy in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Ian hated to remind Jorez of that fact since he was running on con on him now and need Jorez to think he was sincere. "I'm sorry I ever argued with you about being together. You were right. We belong together. Being with you even some of the time is better than being with him all of the time," Ian said.
"You really believe that?" he asked.
"Of course," Ian said.
Jorez kissed him soundly, cramming his tongue in Ian's mouth as Ian struggled to show equal ardor. "If you really love me, Ian, you have to do something for me."
"Anything," Ian said.
"You have to tell me what they have on me. I need to know what they know so I can distance myself from those operations and get rid of the evidence I was ever involved. You can get this cop you're sleeping with to talk to you about me, can't you?"
Ian shrugged and twisted away. "I don't know. He'll suspect. I told you he'd have me thrown in prison for twenty-five years if he knew I even talked to you. What do you think he'd do if he thought I was spying on him for you?"
"Well, if you can't talk to him about it, has he ever brought you to his office? Does he ever bring work home? Maybe you get him drunk and send me pictures of what he's working on. Don't bother reading it. I doubt you'd understand it anyway," Jorez said.
Ian looked away, fighting against the urge to punch this shit-face in the dick. "I don't know. I know he has some work stuff on his phone, and once he took his work computer home. Maybe I can take a look once he passes out. He is a pretty heavy drinker."
"If you do this, I'd find a way to reward you. Maybe you could tell him you were going to visit your family and we could sneak off to a hotel. We could order a ridiculous amount of room service, and I might even buy you that Rolex you've been eying."
Ian felt nauseous. That had pretty much been his dream date, once-upon-a-time, and it made him sick to think he'd been so happy to sell himself so cheap. Back then those men had known they were only buying his body; Jorez actually thought he'd sell his soul for a fancy watch and a little spoiling. He nevertheless tried to channel his younger self and smiled coyly. "Sounds like fun. Make sure you remember the bubbly."
"Always," he said.
Ian suffered through another kiss and then ran home. He found Mickey surrounded by papers with two phones on and a laptop open, but before he could even stop to be curious enough to ask what Mickey was doing, he pulled Mickey up so he was standing and kissed him.
"Did it go well?" Mickey asked.
Ian couldn't stop kissing him. "I gotta get rid of the taste of him. Taste of you is the only thing I want in my mouth."
Mickey laughed, looking a bit incredulous. "You sure? I haven't brushed my teeth in hours."
"I need you to kiss me. Wash away the feel of him. He made me feel so fucking dirty, Mickey. You're so pure," he said.
"Never been accused of that before," Mickey said. He took off his shirt and ran up the stairs, Ian following. Ian was wearing skin-tight running clothes and couldn't exactly disrobe as he ran, but when he got in the bedroom he stripped in record time. Mickey was on the bed naked, waiting, and the feel of fucking him really did make Ian feel somehow purer.
When they were done, Mickey sat up in bed and lit a cigarette. "I should call Jordan. She's probably still in the office and I learned a shit-ton today, and we've got to tell her what happened when you talked to Jorez."
Ian leaned over and kissed Mickey's hip, unable to stop running his hands all over Mickey. "Why don't you invite her over for pizza? It looked like whatever you found out was pretty fucking complicated judging by the mess all over the place in the living room."
"That okay with you? You know she really likes you. I think she might like you more than she likes me," Mickey said.
"Everyone likes me more than they like you, Mickey. I'm a likable guy. You're an angry thug."
"Oh yeah, smart guy?" Mickey asked, laughing. He pushed Ian and Ian pushed back, and before long they were wrestling and laughing.
"Come take a shower with me," Ian said, kissing Mickey lightly. "And then you can call her."
They showered quickly and then dressed in sleep pants and t-shirts and went downstairs. Mickey called Jordan and she agreed to come over shortly to hear what they each had to say.
"It's a good thing I work out so much. I've eaten better with you than I have…I don't know, probably ever," Ian said.
Mickey shrugged. "I never really had good food growing up. I try to eat all the food groups and have at least two complete meals a day."
"That's really good. It's good for me, too. I mean, it's hard to get better from something like bipolar if you're not eating right and getting enough sleep," Ian said.
"Yeah, how's all that going? You feeling okay?"
"Right now? I'm feeling amazing. I was okay before you found me—I'd just gotten passed a…are you sure you want to hear this?"
Mickey nodded. "I want to be with you. Probably for good. I want to understand what you're going through."
"Okay. A couple of months ago I was really low. Like I figured, what the hell is the point of living if I'm just this dumb gangster's fuck toy and nothing else? So I tried to kill myself."
"Shit," Mickey whispered.
"You know how people hang themselves from doorknobs? I tried it. Luckily I kind of did it wrong and chickened out right after. I still had things I wanted to do. As stupid as it sounds, I still had my blog and my fans and I thought maybe there was still a chance Phil would get sick of me or something. I was like, waiting for a shot to get out. I should have gone to the police—"
Mickey shook his head. "You don't have to explain, Ian. Not to me. I mean, I stayed with Terry all those years. And anyway, you did get out so there's no point in beating yourself up about it anymore. So you got past this low cycle, but you feel pretty even now?"
"Yeah. I mean, even though things seemed really hopeless when I was with Phil, I had gotten a lot of therapy when I got my life together for those couple of months and so I had some strategies to deal with how I was feeling. Positive self-talk, learning to find happiness in the life I had even though there were major problems, that kind of thing. And right now things are looking up so much and I'm so happy I keep on wondering if I'm going into a high cycle. I don't think that's what it is. I think I'm just happy. I mean, the stress of dealing with Phil is kind of…possibly triggering symptoms. But I can deal with it. I can calm myself down, and the meds should support the meditation and stuff when they really kick in in a couple of weeks."
"I don't want you to put your health in danger, Ian."
"I know you don't. But it makes more sense to get rid of Jorez and all his cronies as quick as we can and then we never have to think of them again. The stress of thinking my connection with him is putting the people I love in danger is so much worse over time, you know?"
"Shit, Ian. I forgot to tell you. I talked to Lip today. Told him to move your family into his high security compound to make sure they're safe, just until this investigation is over."
"What if Jorez really has someone watching them? Won't that tip him off?"
"I doubt he has anyone monitoring kindergarten classes. That's just this dick Jorez using the fact that you've seen a lot of mob movies against you. He's not all powerful. He probably only has a couple of guys who answer to him and they probably already have fulltime duties. Besides, better the operation goes south than one of your family's kids gets hurt. We'd get him another way."
Ian exhaled slowly. "I guess you're probably right."
"Oh, and check this out," Mickey said. He picked up his phone and scrolled through the menu, and then held up his twitter feed. There was a tweet from "Galllip" which said, Just checked out my bro's awesome vlog. What say we show him some love? The address for Ian's vlog followed.
"Is that Lip's twitter-handle?" Ian asked.
"Yeah, he's always sharing neat things about robotics and crap because of his job. Like every techy-nerd alive follows him, which means he basically owns the internet, now. It's kind of insufferable."
"Sounds like Lip," he said. "I wonder if it increased my followers?"
There was a knock on the door and Mickey went to let Jordan in while Ian checked his views on his videos. He couldn't believe it. All of his videos views had gone up by millions overnight. It was really fucking cool, kind of annoying that Lip had been partially responsible, and made him a little nervous. How could he live up to having millions of viewers? That was more than lots of successful cable shows had.
"Hi Jordan. Mickey, I think I'm famous," Ian said.