disclaimer: don't own anything

Note: thank you guys for the reviews ^^ The next chap isn't done yet but it will become obvious who the assailant is :)

I have exams now so don't wonder when it takes me longer to update... and when you want to discuss the new manga chap with feel free to write me a pm :D (524 of bleach and 617 of naruto are already out!)

Chap 10: Confused Feelings

It was a hot day in the Seireitei, Byakuya and Renji had been training for hours; well they were not directly training… they were walking to get Renji used to straining his legs again. Renji had made progress, he could use his legs; well, not good enough to use shunpo but he could at least walk.

"I think it would be good to take a break now. You can do whatever pleases you; I will take care of the paperwork," Byakuya informed him.

Renji was unsure if the raven-head simply wanted to be left alone or really needed to do the paperwork so he decided to try and help him.

"Shall I help you Taichou? Usually I would do that too…" Reni said.

"Seeing as your handwriting is, under normal circumstances, a mess I might as well do the paperwork alone," the noble said. He didn't want to sound so indifferent, but somehow he always sounded like that; it just irritated him. Furthermore Byakuya needed to be alone; he needed to think and his fuku-taichou would just distract him, as always.

"Then let me go with you and I will try to work on my handwriting," Renji tried negotiating with the raven-head; not sure if he would succeed though.

"Well, that would be appropriate for you. Then come, we will go into my private office," he said, leading the way.

Byakuya didn't know how long they already sat there, but he couldn't help but think about the man at the other end of the room, working at a table on his handwriting in absolute silence. Renji practicing his handwriting was a rare feat, but working in silence was, for the red-head, a miracle. Under normal circumstances Renji was never silent; the raven-head doubted that he was even silent while fast asleep. The red-head was a mystery to him, a mystery he clearly couldn't solve and that bothered him.

How was it possible that he couldn't stop thinking of him? That was just ridiculous! He never thought of someone this intensely; well the last person that happened with was his late wife. Clearly he couldn't have romantic feelings for his fuku-taichou, could he? No that would be against the clan-rules. Not only was Renji a male, but he was a commoner and his subordinate! It would be impossible for them to have some kind of future together that was more than friendship. But then again…Byakuya felt like he could trust him with everything and he felt miserable for failing his fuku-taichou when he needed him the most.

Right, there was something…Byakuya was puzzled why the red-head behaved as if nothing had happened to him at all. Byakuya was so full of hatred towards the man that did this to the red-head that he could slaughter all possible assailants in one go, but unfortunately they had no clue who did this and Renji was sitting calmly at the table improving his writing.

Only when Renji exhaled a breath of frustration, Byakuya recognized that he was so lost in his thoughts that he had neglected his paperwork. Frowning at the piece of paper in front of him he tried to figure out why that was.

Granted he thought about the red-head but that was just professionally, right? He didn't know. With slightly widening eyes he became aware that, right now, he didn't think of Renji in a professional way. But he couldn't pursue this thought now, he would think about it this evening, when Renji was in bed and he had time to think clearly without any distractions.

Renji was trying very hard to improve his writing, but right now it was more difficult then he thought. His hand and arm hurt from the constant usage, but he couldn't stop now. What would his taichou think? He couldn't disappoint the man who gave him shelter and patiently walked by his side the whole morning around his garden.

And if he gave up now his whole training would be pointless and he could never search for the guy who did this to him. So he tried harder, but somehow his thoughts drifted, every now and then, to the raven-head at the other end of the room. He knew damn well why his taichou was the trigger for his memories… he loved him, but he could never say that to the man. It would be useless… he was probably as straight as one of Uryuu's arrows, seeing as he had married a woman and swore to never love anyone else.

With a sad smile he stilled the actions of his hand. How long was it now since he saw his taichou for the first time? 40 and some years at least… and since that day he felt attracted to him, something that really irritated him. Come on, who likes the one that takes your only family away from you? No one, that's who, but somehow it all worked out. They're friends now; at least he can admire the man from afar, that's better than nothing.

Judging that his hand had rested enough he tried again to improve his writing. Really his writing wasn't the best to begin with, but this… oh what a long way he had to go. But he was determined to improve, his only goal was his returning strength and if he had to improve his writing so be it. Exhaling a breath of frustration he continued his work, he would relax this evening that much was clear to him.

After some hours Byakuya and Renji were so immersed in their tasks that the loud bang and screaming startled them; Renji nearly jumped out of skin, while Byakuya just raised an eyebrow and made his way to the shoji doors.

Upon opening the door he was fast enough to catch the fist that came flying towards his face.

"Kurosaki Ichigo. How often do I have to tell you, that you should not behave like a rampaging baboon while in the home of someone else? I don't need a second one here anyway, so if you would, tell me what brings you barging into my home?" the raven-head said ever so calmly, steel grey orbs holding Ichigo in place, not for a second releasing the fist he held.

"Aw, Taichou let the kid go, you've terrified him enough," Renji said while standing up and walking so he could stand behind him, a smug grin in place while he scrutinized the carrot-top noticing how he shivered.

"You know Renji he insulted you right now," Ichigo replied raising an eyebrow.

"Nah, I don't see it as an insult when Zabimaru really is one," he replied, smug grin nearly splitting his face. "But what do you want here Strawberry? Why did you bring them with you?" the red-head asked gesturing with a nod to Ishida, Inoue and Sado; suddenly he needed to grip the door frame, the strain he put on his legs catching up with him after the rest.

Byakuya of course noticed and tried to conceal as much of the red-head with his own body, to save some of the man's pride.

"We're here to discuss some possibilities concerning Abarai-san's predicament with you Kuchiki-san," Uryuu told him.

Renji's eyes widened. "How do you know?" he whispered softly eyes still widened and pupils getting smaller. There could only be one way the Quincy found out… he was going to kill the substitute when he got better.

"Gomen Taichou, but we're done here right? I want to get back to my room," he said to Byakuya giving him a meaningful look.

The raven-head fully understood and let him pass, watching as he made his way through the group of humans nearly shaking with rage.

"Is Abarai-kun alright Kuchiki-kun? Should I look after him?" Orihime asked worried about him and mistaking the shaking for something else.

"No, you should let him be. But it would be best to avoid him, especially you Kurosaki," he said while turning and walking back into the room, letting the doors open in a silent invitation. "You wanted to speak to me. Make it quick," he said impatiently. His patience really was wearing thin.… How could that Kurosaki tell other people about this? Didn't he know Renji well enough to know that he wouldn't approve?

"Yeah your cousin said that we didn't need to interrogate the guards. Don't you think that's suspicious?" Ichigo spilled, causing Uryuu to gape at him, surely it wasn't supposed to go like that, and Byakuya narrowed his eyes into two thin slits, reiatsu dangerously rising.

"What exactly is it you are implying about Kazuhiro?" the noble asked.

"Well, what Kurosaki was trying to say is that we should ask Abarai what his captor looked like," Uryuu interfered before someone died.

"And you really think this idea never crossed my mind? You don't possibly think that Abarai's health is of higher importance right now? Or why he is here?" Byakuya asked them, glaring.

"Abarai-san's health is of course important, but shouldn't you search for him? While Abarai-san recovers you could find whoever did this," Uryuu argued now.

"Of course it crossed my mind, but you seem to forget his nature," the raven-head said meeting the gaze of the blue-haired boy; now all four looked absolutely puzzled at the raven-head. "I advise you research the myth of the nue and then think again about your request," he told them and began to exit the room, pausing in the door frame and saying, "The books in my home will help you to find an answer. In the meantime refrain from suspecting Kazuhiro of such an act," and with that he simply vanished.

Ichigo was so perplexed he didn't know what to say. Uryuu was just relieved that they were still alive and didn't get cut by Senbonzakura for insulting the nobles' family.

"You know Kurosaki, Kuchiki is probably right. We shouldn't jump to conclusions," the Quincy said, pushing his glasses up.

"WHAT?! You were the one who said it!" Ichigo yelled.

"What is happening here?" a feminine voice sounded from the hall, and upon turning they saw that it was Rukia. "What are you guys doing in Nii-sama's office? And where are Renji and Nii-sama?" she asked totally perplexed. What was going on here?

"We were visiting Byakuya… we wanted to speak with him about Renji's predicament and yeah… that didn't go well," Ichigo told her, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

Rukia had to frown at that. The other three knew? Oh, he told them, she couldn't believe him… "You know Ichigo you should apologize to Renji before you face him at dinner. You can be lucky he isn't fully recovered yet," she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Huh? Why should I apologize to him? I didn't do anything wrong," the orangette said.

"Really? And do tell me how these three know of what happened to him when they weren't here," the small woman said frowning.

"Well I told them of course," Ichigo really was irritated with her now.

"You don't get it…" and she was gone.

"Whoa, what's with those Kuchikis always vanishing?" the substitute wondered, scratching his head.

"I don't know, but we should do what Kuchiki-san told us," Uryuu advised and they began their research.

Renji collapsed onto his futon after entering his room; he really put too much strain on his legs today.

He couldn't believe the strawberry really told them all… what an asshole. He really hoped his taichou killed him… ah, no that would be unfair towards Rukia… damn. Renji was very angry at the substitute, but couldn't think about it any further when a knock sounded at his door.

"Hey Abarai it's me, Hisagi," sounded the voice of the other fuku-taichou.

"Ah, yeah come in," the red-head said, massaging his legs.

When Hisagi entered he was dumbfounded. The whole room looked like Abarai's living room! And he laid there on a futon holding his legs? What was going on here?

"Mind telling me what's going on?" Shuuhei asked, sitting down next to the red-head.

"What do you mean?" Renji really had no idea what the other fuku-taichou meant.

"Well… you plan on staying longer here? Cause you know this looks like your home," the dark-haired man explained.

"Oh that. It was Rukia's idea. She decorated the room, so you have to ask her if she wants me stay longer," the red-head explained.

"Ah, and what's with your legs?" that wouldn't give him peace until he knew…

"I was walking with Taichou through his garden to train my legs again, somehow that didn't work out too well. When Ichigo came bursting into the office, where he was doing paperwork and I was working on my hands, my legs gave up. Guess the strain caught up with me while sitting," Renji said with a shrug at the end.

"Wai-Wha-You were doing what? Training your hands? Oh man Renji that's something I so don't want to know…" Shuuhei whined.

"Uh? Get your mind out of the gutter… I was writing dumbass. As if I would do that to Taichou… he would rip me into shreds if I tried," didn't mean that he hadn't fantasized about doing naughty things with his taichou…

"Oh yeah right. The guy is probably as straight as an arrow," Shuuhei mumbled.

"Exactly my thought, but I guess you didn't come all the way here to jump to conclusions?" Renji asked his friend with a shit eating grin.

"No not really. I wanted to speak with you. You remember that we wanted to talk about something?" oh how he hoped the red-head would understand… he couldn't say it out loud now.

"Ah yeah. You're confused about your sexual orientation, ne?" the red-head asked snickering, this would be fun!

"Don't make fun of me! Not everyone can be like you, you know?" Shuuhei began to doubt his decision to visit the red-head now.

"Ah, don't be like that… I had a shitty day sorry. Explain to me what's gotten you so confused," Renji said with seriousness.

"Okay. Well, you know how I always liked Ran? Turns out I'm not sure anymore," Hisagi told him, hoping the red-head would help.

"Well Shuu when you don't explain it better I can't help you… Why aren't you sure anymore?" man, it was going to take a long time until the man spilled all…

"Well, you know that Izuru and I are friends… and yeah. I've liked his company more and more lately… so I was wondering… am I gay?" oh how Shuuhei hoped his friend would help him with this… he really got desperate over the days and Kazeshini hadn't stopped bothering him.

"Whoa first off: you're not gay when you enjoy the company of someone else… I mean I enjoy Rukia's company but I'm not interested in her in that way. You should think about what makes you enjoy his company though. That will be the most important point. And you should think about what YOU really want. You were chasing Ran because of her two arguments, weren't you?" the red-head asked with a knowing smile.

"Well yeah I was… And what I really want? I just want to be loved, but I always thought that only a woman could do that and I only liked women," Shuuhei didn't understand the world anymore…

"See. You only want to be loved and to love someone else, is it really so important what that person is? I personally think the gender is irrelevant as long as you love each other," Renji told his friend, wishing it really could be the truth…

"Okay, but what should I do now? I mean I like Izuru, but I can't tell him that, can I?" oh, how overwrought Shuu was right now…

"Why not? Invite him to your home, there you have your peace and won't be disturbed by anyone… And don't start asking me what you should talk about. You have to figure that out on your own… Izuru isn't that hard to handle," the invalid red-head advised, scowling at his legs, which wouldn't get any better.

"How do you know? Heh, you two weren't dating, ne?" Shuu asked joking, not expecting an answer.

"Well… actually we were. It was just a week or so… don't panic," Renji said, raising his hands in a defensive gesture.

"You were? Why did you break up though?" wow, that was a new one for Shuuhei!

"Ah the break up was mutual…we fell in love with other people so it was okay for both of us," the red-head remembered WHY they broke up and how his blonde friend now came close to living his dream while he, Renji, had to be content with just watching his love interest.

"Oh okay, didn't know that. If I want to meet up with him I probably should go already. I'll come tomorrow again I think," the raven-head said while standing up and walking to Renji's door.

"You don't have to exhaust yourself you know? I know how busy you are… not having a taichou, the magazine, and now with Izuru… so take your time Shuu, I don't mind," Renji told him and with a grateful smile and a nod the dark haired man vanished.

Sighing Renji dropped onto his futon and fell asleep.

After Byakuya left the substitute in his office, now doubting that that was a good idea, he resolved to watch after Abarai; the man had left fuming like he would destroy something sometime soon…

When he reached the room he heard voices from within, one was obviously the red-head but the other? He had to listen closely… and after a moment he recognized the other as Hisagi Shuuhei. He knew that it was impolite to listen on other's discussions, but he couldn't help himself when it came to his fuku-taichou.

"See. You only want to be loved and to love someone else, is it really so important what that person is? I personally think the gender is irrelevant as long as you love each other," he heard Renji say.

So the red-head was open to relationships with men? That was somehow a relief for the noble, but again he couldn't understand why that was. Who was he kidding? He knew why he was relieved but it irritated him. He had been married to a woman and he loved her deeply, so how could he love a man now? That just didn't make any sense to him…

"How do you know? Heh, you two weren't dating, ne?" Hisagi said, maybe he should listen more carefully?

"Well… actually we were. It was just a week or so… don't panic." It really didn't surprise him that Renji had already had relationships… it just made the red-head more appealing, but he wondered if he was bound to someone right now…Ah again he couldn't dwell on this, he had other things to worry about…

Byakuya learned from his experiences and decided to give the Kurosaki boy a chance. He would invite Kazuhiro and watch how Renji reacted to him, judging from the reactions he showed if the suspicion was justified or not. Making his way to his room Byakuya summoned a hell-butterfly and gave it his message:

"Kazuhiro, I need you at my manor this evening for dinner. You may bring Daisuke with you. I can't tell you the reason right now; but please do come." With this message the butterfly made his way to Kazuhiro.

End of chap 10!

Next: the dinner and what will come after that?