Better Than Paris

Chapter Ten

I woke up at just past noon, feeling surprisingly well rested, despite the fact that it had been almost nine in the morning by the time I had finally fallen asleep. I stretched beneath the sheets before relaxing bonelessly into the mattress, feeling Alex stir behind me, before she wrapped herself more tightly around my body. I smiled into my pillow, taking the time to just enjoy this rare novelty, as while I had woken up beside Alex before, I'd never really had the chance to enjoy it. I was always rushing off to work, leaving Alex in bed, and she was always gone by the time I got home. It felt nice to wake up beside someone, knowing that I didn't have anything that I had to do, or anywhere that I was supposed to be.

The raven haired woman was pressed up against my back, one of her long arms stretched out beneath my neck, while the other was wrapped tightly around my waist. I could feel her soft breasts pressed against my shoulder blades, and the warmth of her pussy against my ass, with her legs tangled with mine and the white sheets wrapped around our naked bodies. Her warm breath was blowing against the back of my neck, raising goose bumps and sending pleasant shivers down my spine and I very suddenly wanted her. It caught me by surprise, the warmth building in my belly and the urge to roll over and wake her with a very intimate kiss, but I resisted.

I carefully rolled over in her arms until I was facing her, tracing her face with my eyes and burning her image into my memory. I was always surprised by how different Alex looked when she was sleeping; much younger without the lines at the corners of her eyes and mouth. She looked calm and almost soft; honest and open without the thick rimmed glasses and the smirk that she usually hid behind. I wanted to wake her up and see those sparkling gray eyes, and I wanted to kiss her, but again, I resisted. After our talk early this morning, I needed a moment to think, when I wasn't distracted by Alex's hands and lips and the emotions she created within my body when she was touching me.

"You've got me, kid," Alex had spoken the words seriously, several nights ago, and they had hit me in the chest like a sledge hammer. For the briefest moment, I had been able to see past the walls that guarded her heart, and I'd seen a flesh and blood woman, who had doubts and insecurities just like everybody else. Alex acted tough, with her sarcastic humor and her arrogance, but this was just as new to her as it was to me. I'd been with someone for the past six years, in a stable if not completely happy relationship, while I doubted that Alex had ever committed herself to anyone. And now she was obviously having issues with the emotions that were forming, the feelings that came with having a steady relationship with another human being. She was being bombarded with feelings that she'd never experienced, like jealousy and possessiveness, envy and need. Alex didn't just want me; she needed me, as she'd told me last night in the midst of our fucking.

"Fuck, Piper," Alex had growled as she struggled to unbutton my shirt in her frenzy, fumbling with the buttons before finally just ripping the front of the shirt open and sending buttons flying in every direction. Her palms had been hot as they ran down my stomach before sliding up my sides and over my ribcage, touching me everywhere and leaving behind trails of fire and desire.

"Jesus Christ, Alex, calm down," I had chuckled throatily, hardly understanding Alex's sudden urgency as she slipped her fingers underneath the waistband of my underwear, before pulling them down my legs. I caressed her shoulders with my fingers as she pressed wet kisses all over my chest and neck, pulling on my bra straps with her teeth. Her eyes were dark with lust when she looked up at me, and I felt my heart stop in my chest at the fierce emotions I could see raging in her eyes.

"I want you now," her voice had been hoarse and full of lust, and I felt my stomach clench as heat erupted between my thighs. I bit my lip and caressed her cheek, hoping to calm some of the fire in her eyes, but only seemed to make it burn brighter. "I need you."

"I'm right here," I murmured, tracing her eyebrow with my finger. "I'm not going anywhere."

A flash of doubt had flickered in Alex's eyes as her lips parted to speak, but she pressed a kiss to my throat instead, before her fingers finally found that spot...

It had been so intense, as every experience with Alex was, but this had been different. When I'd agreed to finally start seeing Alex, all she had said was that she wanted something more; more of what exactly, I still don't know. She wanted more than just sex, that much was obvious, but how much more? She wanted to take me on dates, but did she want to date me? Was there even a difference?

It had been so long since I'd been in this situation, discovering something new with another person, that I hardly knew how it went anymore. If we were dating, did that mean that I was automatically Alex's girlfriend, or did I need to wait for her to ask me? It all seemed so middle school to me, and damn it, I was a grown fucking woman.

Do I even want to be your girlfriend? I asked myself silently as I gazed at Alex's sleeping face. Do I really like you, or do I just like the sex?

It was at that moment when Alex's eyes finally fluttered open, revealing clear, sleepy gray eyes and the tip of a pink tongue that slipped out briefly to wet dry, red lips. God, she was fucking beautiful, I thought to myself, which should have been an answer in itself.

"Hey," the raven haired woman murmured, blinking slowly as she stared back at me. She removed her arm from around my waist to stifle a yawn before laying the limb back over my ribcage lazily. "You been staring at me long?"

"A little while," I admitted sheepishly as I felt Alex's fingers caress my back through the sheets. "I was thinking."

"That sounds dangerous," the familiar twinkle returned to Alex's eyes, along with that infuriatingly sexy smirk. "What was the end result?"

I studied the curve of her lips and the long dark hair that fell over her pale shoulders as I considered her words. I wrapped a few strands of her hair around my fingers as I thought, while Alex continued to lie beside me, waiting patiently. When I looked back up into Alex's eyes, they were still twinkling, though I caught a glimpse of that woman hiding inside, with her doubts and fears, staring back at me hopefully.

"I like you," the words flowed from my mouth easily and Alex's grin widened. "Even if you are an arrogant, manipulative asshole."

"Mm," Alex murmured, her smile becoming more open and genuine as she pulled me closer. "I know you do. Is this finally the day where you tell me that I'm always right?"

My answer was to smack Alex's smirking face with my pillow.

/

Half an hour and a pillow fight later, which ended with me screaming that Alex was always right as she tickled me relentlessly, I was in the kitchen making coffee and once again thinking. I could hear Alex rummaging through my bookshelves as I poured the coffee into two separate mugs, before picking them up and walking out into the lounge room. I handed Alex her coffee before sitting on the back of my couch, watching the raven haired woman as she sipped her drink and read the blurb on the back of one of my books.

"What are we?" I blurted suddenly, since I hadn't been able to hold the question in any longer. Alex didn't even pause, but instead raised her mug to her lips and took a sip before responding, her eyes still glued to the book in her hands.

"We're humans, dear," she murmured, almost absentmindedly. "I know you're a vet and not a real doctor, but they must have taught you that much at least."

I scowled at the dark haired woman and resisted the urge to stamp my foot. "No, I mean, what are we, as in, what am I to you?"

This caught Alex's attention, as she placed the book back on the shelf before turning to give me her full attention. "What do you want to be?"

I hated when people answered my questions with another question, especially when I didn't know the answer. "You want to take me on dates and not kiss other people, which sounds awfully a lot like a relationship. Is that what you want?"

I could tell that Alex didn't know how to answer me, not wanting to put herself too far out there, and possibly scare me away, but I could already see how she felt just by looking in to her eyes. The raven haired woman finally opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off as her phone started to ring from the bedroom.

"Fuck," Alex murmured, running her fingers through her hair before turning on her heel and striding towards the bedroom. I felt my shoulders slump as I heard her answer her phone in the next room, wondering what Alex was going to say before her phone went off. I listened as Alex let out a slew of curses, and then heard the sound of Alex rummaging around for her clothes and fuck, this wasn't how this was supposed to go.

Moments later, Alex walked back into the lounge room, fully dressed with an apologetic look on her face. "I have to go."

"I know," I sighed, trying not to look too miserable and failing, if Alex's grimace was anything to go by. It almost made me angry, because we'd only been seeing each other on and off for two weeks, and I shouldn't feel like this. "It's okay, when will I see you next?"

If possible, Alex managed to look even guiltier. "Probably not for a few weeks; I'm going to Berlin."

I just sat there, gaping at her like an idiot for a whole minute as my brain went into overload. A few weeks? Berlin, Germany? "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah," Alex sighed, running her fingers through her hair, looking quite distressed. It made me feel a little better, knowing that I wasn't the only one dreading this 'few weeks' separation. "There have been some... issues, and I need to go, like, right now. Look, can we just put this conversation on hold? I really want to talk to you about this, but I really do need to go."

"Sure," I said, because honestly, what else could I possibly say? I closed my eyes as Alex leant down to kiss me, slow and lingering, before pulling away.

"I'll call you," she said, looking straight into my eyes and I nodded silently. She opened her mouth again, but closed it just as suddenly, as if wanting to say something else and deciding against it at the same second. Instead, she leant forwards and pressed a kiss to my forehead, and then she was gone, the door closing behind her and leaving me drowning in the silence that she left behind.

"Bye," I muttered to the empty apartment, wondering if this wasn't a sign from God that this conversation shouldn't happen in the first place.