I looked out at the restless street through my office's solidary window. Cars and people would halt and go over and over again according to the cars and people in front of them, all of them in their own worlds, thinking their unique thoughts and knowing their destination. Even though they were out there in the warm sun and I was in here submerged in semi-darkness, I felt like I was the one on the outside looking into a reality not belonging to me. Maybe this city was just on a television I was watching, or in a book I was reading. It was just like Luka said. We were different than the rest in some sad and unfortunate way.

A smile almost took over my face, but I then remembered the task set before me. With cold hands, I picked up my cellphone and called my boyfriend, the only boyfriend I had ever known. The rings' drone was overshadowed by the bustling of the city below. It was a long eight rings before he picked up.

"Hello?" I asked. The butterflies which had been bottled up in my stomach for hours flitted about nervously.

"Yes, hello," Ki replied after a moment.

"It's me, um. Are you okay? You sound a little jittery."

"I-I'm fine. I'm happy to hear from you."

He didn't sound fine at all. Fear was yet another emotion I had never seen or heard from him until now. "Well, I'm calling because I think we need to talk. In-person."

"I, uh, I agree, definitely. Let's talk. Does tonight at eight work for you? Can you come over to my apartment?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Are you sure you're okay?"

The line fell dead. He had hung up. The butterflies changed their rhythm into one of foreboding. I put down my phone and sighed, the city stealing my gaze once again. I wanted to do everything and nothing at the same time. My client wasn't coming for an hour.

"Do you have to see him for an apology or for a break-up?"

I jumped at the voice, turning toward Gumi as she leaned in the doorway. The door was locked, I could have sworn, but then again, I could have forgotten in my current mental state. "Hello, Gumi. I didn't realize you were there."

She looked at him with a strange smirk on her face, seeming much different than the quiet girl I met at the festival. "You don't trust me, do you?"

"I trust you," I said.

"That's a lie, but I don't care. I actually respect you because you don't. I can talk more easily around you this way." She sauntered to a chair and laid down, legs dangling over the armrest. Her face reverted back to its prosaic form. "That made me sound like a horrible person. I'm not, really."

"Okay."

"You don't believe me."

"I don't know."

"Apology or break-up? You know which I want. Len has been pretty defeated since karaoke night. I heard he tried to cut all ties with you last night?"

"He did."

"How did you feel about that?"

"I've already made my decision."

"And you're not going to tell me?"

"Yep."

Gumi sighed, hopping to her feet. "Then I have no point in being here." She walked straight out the door but popped her head in two seconds later to add, "I hope you figure this out tonight. I don't like it when you're all upset." I could not tell if she was kidding or not.

The taxi slowed to a halt outside Ki's apartment building, and I took a shuddering breath. Yuka sat beside me, giving me small bursts of encouragement along the ride but mostly just comfortable silence. I was confident in my decision, yet guilt and pain drummed against my chest along with my forceful heartbeat. My hand clutched the door handle, not daring to make its next move.

"How do you feel?" Yuka asked.

"I don't know."

"You're sure you're not going to regret this?"

"I'm sure. Ki and I have been growing apart for a long time, or maybe we were never perfectly together in the first place. I can't keep lying to him by staying when I can't deny how I feel for Len."

"It was always meant to be you and Len. We all could see it immediately. I'm sorry I tried to push Ki as the right man."

I shook my head. "It's fine. It made me question myself, and now I have all the more conviction." With a deep breath, I stepped out into the waning sun and stepped inside the familiar lobby. The woman at the front desk smiled at me in recognition. I walked on with my head down.

My fist clenched and unclenched restlessly as the elevator crawled up ten floors. It continued the fruitless exercise all the way down the hall until it could finally rest on the doorknob of my destination. I rifled around in my purse for the key and realized numbly that I would have to return this. Before I could second-guess myself, I cracked open the door and slipped through. The lights were off.

"Ki?" I called hesitantly, making my way deeper into the ultra-modern apartment. I remembered when he bought this, so proud of his new job and his new home.

A few things were missing from their places. A decorative box here. A picture frame there. The pillows on the sofa, usually positioned meticulously in their spots, had fallen to the floor. "Ki!" I called again. The feeling of isolation took me over, and I knew I was alone. That's when I noticed the folded card on the coffee table.

When I held the card in front of me, I knew immediately where I had seen such a thing before. On the night I met Len, someone left me a similar note, one with the green cursive number 6 drawn across the white. This one, however, was not written in green or cursive. It was the hand of Ki, the man who was supposed to be here.

Dear Mayu,

I realize that you and I are at a disconnect. Whether it is because of Len or something deeper, I don't know, but either way, our relationship is coming to an end. I have a confession to make. I never got that promotion. In fact, I was let go last week. You were the only thing keeping me here in the city. None of my supposed friends stuck around after I became unemployed. None of them were like yours, Mayu. I wanted to be there to tell you in person, but I cannot bring myself. I would have left by now. Do not try to contact me. You are a smart and beautiful girl, Mayu. Do not settle for anyone who thinks otherwise.

Your first love,

Ki

I walked outside toward the waiting cab, and I was shivering despite the warmth of the air. The note was still in my hand. I gave it to Yuka so I wouldn't have to explain it myself. My body couldn't stop trembling.

"Oh, my God," Yuka mumbled under her breath. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I don't know."