*** So clearly I went on a long hiatus - sorry about that! I really am determined to finish this story! So here goes….***

He didn't open his eyes. Partially because his whole body hurt, but mostly because he was afraid to find out what had happened to him.

Axel had experienced a moment of clarity just before his death – a split-second where everything seemed to make sense, and he felt both the joy and pain of being in love with Roxas. Now that he was regaining consciousness, he was afraid. He had never felt that vulnerable before, or that in love, and he wondered what it meant and how that sensation had happened for a nobody, of all people- especially a nobody who had just tried to kill the only person who made him feel. It was just as he had heard people describe death before - the pieces of his existence as a nobody had all come together, and the only thing of any importance was Roxas – and maybe Demyx, but he didn't want to dwell on the latter point.

He was trying to recall that pre-death feeling, but it was already fading, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. He was afraid to open his eyes because he was probably in hell – the physical pain he was experiencing made him think so. He reluctantly surveyed his surroundings. He was in his own room on his own bed and Demyx, of all people, was asleep on a chair beside his bed. What was this? Axel felt inside his cloak pocket and pulled out the "winner" popsicle stick.

So that was why he felt so shitty – he was still alive, even after having the shit kicked out of him by Roxas. He laid his head on his bent knees and watched Demyx. Why was he there? Certainly not by choice, Axel figured. He was still mad, probably, and Axel didn't have the willpower to pacify him at the moment. Axel figured that if Demyx was still on friendly terms with the Organization, Roxas must be safe. Why else would they have let Axel stay here in his own room? Why would they have let him live?

Demyx stirred, woke up, saw Axel staring at him, and stood up quickly and awkwardly. He did not look at Axel as he spoke.

"They ordered me to stay here and watch you – to make sure you didn't try to run after Roxas or-"
"Demyx, what happened to Roxas?"

Demyx seemed extremely reluctant to speak. "They aren't really sure. He's not with DiZ that's for sure. I only know what I've heard other people saying – no one really cares about me enough to tell me what's going on. They think he's escaped somehow – or disappeared. That's what I know."

Demyx had heard the commotion when Axel was brought back to headquarters. Axel could barely breathe, it seemed, although his body looked completely unharmed. He had had the most peaceful look Demyx had ever seen him wearing – it made Demyx nervous. Maybe Axel had finally really lost his marbles. The Organization had ordered Demyx to stay with Axel. Demyx had mixed feelings about this. It was better than killing heartless, and, as much as he hated to admit it, he did still care if Axel lived or died, though it was still true that Axel had tried to kill one of the only people Demyx liked.

Demyx glanced at Axel, who was looking intently at him, and walked toward the door. "I've got to tell them you're awake," he mumbled awkwardly, as he went looking for Xemnas.

Axel sighed and lay back against the frame of his bed. The brief moment of selflessness when he had realized Roxas was better off without him had subsided quickly, and all he could think about was himself and how much he wanted Roxas. It was a mission with no end – something incredibly destructive, to Axel and Roxas – it was just what Axel needed to recover from his mistake – the mistake of not knowing that Roxas had been Roxas all along.

It was because Roxas had acted differently, Axel reminded himself, and Roxas didn't remember you. Well, Axel wouldn't let Roxas forget him again. His mind was thinking again in the old way – the nobody way, the heartless way. The way where all Axel managed to want was to force Roxas to want him back, using any means possible.

Axel managed to get out of bed and to the door, but when he tried the knob, he found it was locked. It was not a good sign. Xemnas had it out for him, and Axel knew it. He would probably be turned into a Dusk. Axel kicked the door and sighed out of frustration. What next?

***I know it's kinda short, and I already have Axel back to being an asshole again, but I wouldn't love him any other way!***